Filled

Many months ago, one of the groups I'd spoken to last spring asked if I could speak for them again this year. That's always good news to hear! I agreed, and they told me their theme of choice for this year is "Fill My Cup, Lord."

One Sunday morning, last fall, as I sat in Sunday School class, the entire outline for the weekend just fell into my head. We weren't even talking about that topic in class that day. (And this is how it often goes for me in my writing life. I can be far from the topic in my mind and still wind up thinking about it!) So I grabbed that day's bulletin, scribbled down the outline before it left me, and then I began to craft the talks.

The topic was assigned well before Nita's glioblastoma diagnosis and all that came with it, and it "just so happened" that the bulk of my planning and writing fell right in the middle of her illness.

So while I wrote about what it means to have the Lord fill your cup, I was the one with a bone-dry cup in need of filling. God does some of His best teaching in hands-on scenarios, and I found myself living smack in the middle of it as I prepared and wrote.

And even now, a few miles down the road into the latest grief journey, He continues to fill. I find new places of emptiness and experience new ways that He fills.

* I've tried to write down all the verses I've stumbled upon that have met me with a word of encouragement when my heart was overwhelmed.

* Even my daily devotions, which have taken me through the book of Matthew here in these last 3 months, have provided all kinds of perfectly-timed-insights I hadn't expected to find.

* He's filled me in ways I can't quite explain as I've found time to do things that make my heart soar. Scrapbooking, writing, journaling...they're ordinary, but they've brought about some healing as I've found time for them.

* He's planted new dreams and desires in me - and even the hope of dreams and desires that aren't even revealed yet. There's a definite filling found in a dream.

* He filled us both with the hugs and words of the hundreds of people who came to Nita's viewing and funeral.

* We've been filled with the words of the kind notes in cards that have appeared our mailbox. We've read every single card and message. They're all blessings.

* The lyrics to songs have come to be extra meaningful to us, and at least for me, some songs will always be associated with this season.

* We've been filled through thoughtful gifts that have poured into our home. So many things are part of our everyday landscape now and will push us to think of Nita and this season each time we see them.

So yes. Our cups are filled, and I'm excited to take that fresh filling into my speaking and share with the ladies what I've been learning. I'm excited to see how God plans to fill each of them as they learn.

It's what He does. He sees our emptiness and doesn't leave us that way. As long as we're willing to accept what He pours, He fills us.

This girl is thankful.