The Shafferland Shuffle

It's the last day of March! We will not talk about the snowflakes that fell here yesterday and instead discuss the first peeks of some random spring flower I saw in the flowerbeds near Ryan's work. YES! Let's have more of that! Dear spring...we want you to come to stay!

Here's a peek at our week though!

* Last Sunday we were still up at the lake, wrapping up the retreat where I spoke. It was lovely in every way. Even though Sunday wasn't as gorgeous in weather as Saturday had been, the lake was still beautiful, and more beautiful still were the hearts of the ladies in front of me as I shared my final message with them. We had a beautiful prayer time together after that, and the whole day was affirming and wonderful. And then for some reason, we left the lake and came home. ;)

* I spent most of Monday scrambling to get everything unpacked and put away, laundry done, and other such chores. (And a manicure! I realized I was dreadfully overdue for one of those.) That evening, Ryan and his boss and I went down toward Indianapolis to go to the viewing for one of their co-worker's sisters. She was young, and the church was full and the line was long, so we did lots of talking while we waited! And on the way home? Chick-fil-A! (We don't have one, so whenever we're near one, it seems wrong not to stop...)

* Tuesday was a pretty day, and I took time to stop and appreciate the gorgeous flowers the retreat ladies had given me. They've brightened our kitchen all week. I got back to working out that day, and it seemed appropriate that the desk décor I grabbed from Ryan's office (to prop up my phone) said "You Got This." I believe the workout established that I did not, in fact, have this. At all. I'm still sore. :) But hey! I did better than Braeya. She just slept.

* I had some lonnnnnnnnnnnng prayer times on Wednesday, and my favorite part was that I got to sit in the warm rays of sunshine flooding in the house. Nothing like praying with your feet in the sun!! Ryan had a meeting over his lunch hour and sent me this picture. One of their co-workers was on spring break, so they made a stand-in for her. Made me laugh! We were both busy that night (divide and conquer again) but we did get together for coffee and dessert at the end of the day. 

* I spent most of Thursday in learning mode, working on some training modules I'm taking. OH! And I did some scrapbook. Trying so hard to stay caught up! That night we went to help Ryan's dad with some projects...painting for me. That's about the only project I can do in the choices offered. Fortunately I worked on baseboards, so I got to stretch out on the floor. My legs were still screaming from two straight days of squats, and moving up and down was a challenge!

* We had a date night on Friday!! One of our friends had gifted us a date night to Applebee's and Starbucks, so we went, and it was wonderful. SO many stories. (Some of them are podcast-able, so come back next week.) It was fun to be out like the days of yore!

* And then yesterday we had our Pheebs for the first time in forever. It was so nasty out all day that she mostly just hung out on my lap and napped, but that makes her happy, so it worked. Ryan worked, and my friend Amber came over to spend some time with me. (We like to hang out regularly but the last few months have rendered that mostly impossible, so this was a good treat!) Ryan came home from work and made us lattes! Having your own barista is essentially the best. Know what's not the best? More snow! WHAT!?!!?

The Saturday Six

One.

I'm not sure I have any painting projects in my near future, but you might! This is one of the best posts I've ever read about how to choose the best paint color, so if you're thinking about sprucing up a room in your house, give it a read!

Two.

Hey Ryan? I know you're not really looking for a project right now, but I do think this coffee bar is pretty stinkin' cool.

Three.

Speaking of projects, this post has a ton of ideas for different rooms - all on a budget. If spring is your time to bring a little pep in the step of your house, give it a look-see!

Four.

We are not hosting Easter this year, but if we were, I think I would absolutely use these as party favors for each place setting. Sugar/waffle cones filled with candy? Oh yes! Cute and pretty!!

Five.

I was at the Dollar Tree last week and noticed that pool noodles are back in stock!! First I was excited because - hello!!! - sign of summer!!! Then I was excited because I know there are tons of ways you can use them other than the obvious. I use them to keep my boots standing upright. And I may or may not have gotten new boots, so I may or may not need more noodles. :) But I found this article that had a few ways to use them I'd not heard of before! Pretty nifty!


Six.

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Finally! Back to reading! And when I jumped back in, I did so with quite a splash, finishing this book in one day flat. I couldn't bear to walk away from the action and will also confess to forgetting to breathe for long periods of time as I read.

Several weeks ago, before all the recent happenings of our world, my friend Marissa Shrock asked me if I'd like to read her latest novel, Deadly Heritage. I may have sent back my YES!!! a little too quickly for basic etiquette, but I was that excited to read! Right after that, Nita passed away and I sort of lost my ability to pay attention to books for a little while. But this was the perfect reentry book.

I've told you about Marissa's writing before. This is actually the sixth book of hers I've read. I started by reading her young adult dystopian series (made up of The First Principle, The Liberation and The Pursuit). In recent months I've been reading her new series, The Georgia Rae Winston Mysteries. I started with Deadly Harvest, then read Deadly Holiday, and this week I read Deadly Heritage. 

As I've told you before, I love this series because it's set in Indiana in a community much like the one where I grew up - and live now - and Georgia reminds me so much of my own single self back in the day. (Well, Georgia's a lot smarter and braver than I was or ever will be, but other than that, she reminds me of myself.)

Georgia went to school to study music education, but she ended up following in her father's footsteps and became a farmer instead. Her side interest of amateur sleuthing both assists and agitates her detective boyfriend, Cal. He trusts her instincts and recognizes her knack for uncovering important, case-solving clues, but he also wishes he could have a conversation with her without discussing business (every now and then, anyway).

In Deadly Heritage, Georgia is settling down after a busy fall and Christmas season, filled with way too many opportunities to help out the local police department. She's eager to place her focus on her seemingly stabilizing relationship with Detective Cal Perkins and her grandpa's upcoming wedding to Wanda Morris. But when Georgia's neighbor and Wanda's good friend Beverly Alspaugh winds up murdered in an apparent home invasion the same night her prodigal daughter comes back to Wildcat Springs after a 38 year absence, all dreams of settling down vanish.

All the details of the murder seem eerily similar to the still-unsolved killing of Georgia's own father, years before, and she can't keep from digging to see if she can bring justice for her dear friend and neighbor even though she hasn't been able to do the same for her father.

Swirling around the investigation, wedding plans go forward, and Georgia's questions about the strength of her relationship with Cal seem to only grow. And as time passes, clues grow complicated, Georgia herself seems to be in danger, and Cal seems even more distant.

I love Georgia, her friends, and all the little pieces of life in Wildcat Springs. Even though I always determine I'm going to figure out who is at fault in the mystery, I never do, so once again, I sat perched on the edge of the couch, waiting to see the resolution. I appreciate the humor woven into the suspense, and I really appreciate the faith component included as well.

Great job, Marissa, on this book! Thank you for sending me an e-copy so I could read, and thank you for helping me reenter the world of reading in such a spectacular way!

What I Learned in March

No, it's not the last day of the month, but it is the last weekday of the month, so I'm checking in with my "What I Learned" post. I feel like I missed making notes of many things I learned this month. And if I didn't make a note - did I even really learn it? Much of what you're about to read points to things I learned in a season of grief. Some of them aren't things I learned for the first time as much as they're things I relearned after being away from them for a season. Either way, it's been quite a March.

1. I need to make time to stretch.

This falls under one of those things I knew, but I didn't really know. I've never been diligent about stretching. When I did BeachBody workouts, I probably did my best stretching, because the video workouts included warmups and cooldowns. But when I work out on my own, and especially when I run, I never stretch. And I never do any other kind of formal stretching either. At the start of March, I decided all the stress building up in my body felt kind of toxic, and I needed to figure out how to stretch out, relax, and relieve tension. So I've been purposeful about making more time for it - even though my attempt to establish a firm new habit got interrupted with our crazy month. The days I was faithful to do it, I saw an enormous difference in how I felt!

2. I can do all things through Christ.

Okay, so I knew that, but I learned it in a new way this month. From the moment we learned that Ryan's mom would not ultimately survive her illness, his biggest prayer was to be by her side when she passed away. I prayed hard that God would allow him to have that moment, but I did not need to be part of it. I know some people find that beautiful and comforting, but I am not built for it, and I figured I would cause more harm than good. In the (literal) end, Ryan needed and wanted me beside him, so I was there, praying out loud all the way through her death. At one point I stopped and said, "Jesus you've got to help me, because I am NOT built for this." And He did. He helped me not pass out, be present for my husband, and pray my mother-in-law Home.

3. I grieve privately.

It's been many years since I lost someone very close to me, so I was sort of out of practice on hard-core grieving. And it's the first time I've processed such thoughts since I've been married. I learned I really need privacy to do that. We were so busy in the days following Nita's death that I didn't have time to sit down and work through my thoughts. The day before her viewing, I had about two hours in the afternoon to crumple in a heap on the bedroom floor and cry, and I did. The day after her funeral was the only day we had at home together throughout his bereavement leave. I needed that time. I love people and had gratefully greeted hundreds of them over the previous days, but I really needed that grief-privacy so desperately.

4. It's hard to get back into a routine.

Being the lover of lists and color-coding that I am, I fully expected that once our official bereavement time ended, I'd be able to hop back into the regular schedule we had prior to Nita's death. It wasn't quite that simple. I'm still not sure what made it so hard, but it definitely did take quite a while to ease back into our routine. (And I'm still not convinced we've fully gotten back to it yet. Goodness.) But we are working hard to establish it again, because for us, that is part of healing. Everyone heals in different ways, but routine is part of our healing.

5. I think we should live at the lake.

Again, this may not be something I learned, but it was certainly confirmed this month. Oh my goodness. How I love the water, and the idea of getting to see it every day of my life is an idea I dearly love. It was so hard to come home from that retreat by the lake.

6. People are unbelievably kind.

In an anger and hatred saturated world, it sure is lovely to find kindness abounding. Ryan and I were absolutely blown away by the kindness shown to us this month. People left kind words on this blog, Facebook, and Instagram, when we shared the news about his mom's passing. We have a huge stack of cards - and it has meant so much to us that so many would take time to find, write, and mail a card. I didn't cook for about two weeks, while people kindly provided food for us. (I got spoiled!) So many gifts poured in, and no two alike. And all the people who took time to stand/sit for over two hours at her viewing...wow! I am thankful for the outpouring, but I'm more thankful to get a glimpse of the huge good that still exists in this world.

Shop Talk!

I needed a good, fun post for today, so I'm borrowing one from earlier this month on The Blended Blog. I am not a crazy, hard-core shopper, so this particular set of questions is going to push me outside my comfort zone just a bit! This list is all about shopping...

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1. Top 3 shops? 

At first I thought this was a question about clothes shopping, but further scrutiny of the whole list makes me think they're asking about ALL shopping. So....let me spread the store love just a bit. We'll start with Aldi. Ryan and I love to grocery shop at Aldi, and our store has a brand-spankin'-new one that just opened a few weeks ago. It is much larger, brighter, and cleaner-looking than the one we had, and we also love the extra selection. We try to get as many of our groceries there as we can, and then we finish up elsewhere. For clothing, I'd have to say my main store is Kohl's. I do my fair share of Goodwill shopping, but most of my wins come from Kohl's. Can't beat clearance and Kohl's cash, right? And of course, I can't fail to mention my beloved Hobby Lobby. My inspiration happy place, and my go-to when I need a pick-me-up for my heart or home. I adore it. Just writing about it reminds me I haven't been there for a while. A trip is in order.

2. Is the majority of your shopping done in-store or online?
I like the stores. I'm oddly proportioned, so when it comes to clothes and shoes, I really need to try them on to make sure they fit right. I HATE HATE HATE returning things, so I really want to make sure something is going to work before I buy it. Yes, we buy things online too, but I'm not one to do it all that way.

3. What's your favorite thing to shop for?
Anything that isn't urgent. I feel like if I have a specific intent or deadline to find something, I'm pretty much guaranteed to NOT find it, and that becomes stressful. But if I can just go look and have fun and buy something if I find it, but come home happily empty-handed if I don't...that's the best case scenario. That's why wedding dress shopping was so nerve-wracking to me. I knew I had ONE NIGHT to find it, and fortunately, I did. That is definitely not typical for me!

4. What do you just HATE shopping for?
Swimsuits. Fortunately I shouldn't have to do this again for a long time. We don't swim all that often, because we don't have a hot tub, pool, lake, river, or ocean in our immediate world. I am okay with just having one or two suits, and as long as I keep my weight in the same vicinity, the same suit should serve me from year to year. But I like to cover a lot more than most suits do, so it's very frustrating to find something that fits right and doesn't leave me feeling entirely self-conscious.

5. What's your most favorite thing you've ever bought?
Hmmmm. That's a tall order. EVER??? In all the history of things I've ever purchased? I guess I will go with my scrapbooks, because they are so precious to me. I'm not a huge spender, but I don't mind paying for those!

6. Do you prefer shopping alone or with others?
It depends on what I'm shopping for. If I'm not on a time-crunch, I love shopping with others, because I can take my time, saunter around, have fun, and look for things. If I am on a schedule, I have to go alone so I can stay on track. No distractions or dawdling! Grocery shopping? ALWAYS and ONLY with Ryan. He makes it so much fun!

7. Best bargain?
I don't know that it's my best bargain of all time, but we had some Kohl's cash recently that was about to expire, and neither of us needed anything, so I was able to get a spring wreath for our front door and a cute little vase for our house - and I think we ended up paying $5.00. Both our purchases were on heavy sales and our Kohl's cash covered all but the last $5.00 of it. (I also got a pretty good deal on an new winter coat a few weeks ago. I hadn't had one in about ten years, and I think I spent $13.00 on the new one.)

8. Thrift store shopping: yes or no?
YES!! I haven't had a Goodwill fix in a while. I'm kind of frustrated that the ones around here (maybe all of them?) changed their clothing organization. They no longer do it by color...just size. I only wear certain colors, so it used to be so much faster for me to flip through everything and see what worked and what didn't. Now I have to make sure I have a lot of time, because I have to flip through every single hanger.

9. Best cities for shopping? When we lived in Marion, we often came to Kokomo to shop because there are SO many more stores here than in Marion. Now we live here, so we do most of our shopping locally. If we "go out of town," it's usually down in and around Indianapolis.

10. Who's your style or fashion icon?
Ha! No one! I have no style or fashion sense. I like what I like and don't worry about it much beyond that. It's okay if it's not trendy. I prefer it not be super-trendy, actually. I like things that carry over for a long time.

So there you have it! Shopping with Bekah! How about you?

God is in the Details

I'm going to make you wait until the very end to read about the thing that gave me major goose bumps yesterday, but it all fits in with the detail work.

Women's events are saturated with details, aren't they? It's what we do. And that was so true of the retreat we worked this past weekend. All the little touches of pretty made us feel loved and worth it, you know?

I adored the little craft they had for women to make throughout the weekend if they wanted. You could make your own little succulent planter to take home! (I had to take pictures of the whole process so you could see how it works. You know...in case you want to borrow this for your own event.) They'd thrifted a whole bunch of beautiful little cups and saucers, so you could pick the one that fit you best:

Then you did all your prepping/choosing/planting:

Surely...surely...I can keep this thing alive, right?

I love this little reminder so much and will think of this group every single time I walk by it in my house!!

As I've told you before, this dear lake means SO much to me, and God granted me the great privilege of getting to see a beautiful sunrise and sunset over the lake on Saturday. During that sunset time, I sat on a bench beside the water, listening to geese fight over who-knows what, and I had a great conversation with the Lord and one with Ryan, too. I took pictures and video, because when a girl gets to see the sun set over the water, she preserves it to take home.

Beauty in the details.

But here's what I loved so much. The goose bump part.

Almost always, when I speak, I take a door prize of some kind. (Sometimes the setting isn't appropriate for that, but if it is, I do.) And when I put together the door prizes, I pray over what to put inside and I pray over the winner. Sometimes I choose a winner by a drawing and sometimes by a marked seat or even a question (like who had the most recent birthday).

I've always had the practice of praying over the winner, and a couple of years ago, I had a winner tell me she almost didn't come to the event that night. She'd been struggling in her heart didn't feel like showing up. But God nudged her to show up and she did...and she won. And the contents of the prize that night (I don't remember now what they were) were perfect for her at that station in her life.

It happened again this weekend. I prayed over the gift basked, I prayed about what to put inside, and Ryan drew my winner Sunday morning before the final talk. (I make him draw because it's too much pressure for me.)

Last night, I read a social media post written by the winner (and it was a public post, so I'm not giving away her secrets here), and she shared about all the many details God worked in for her this weekend. Among them? "There was a giveaway that you could enter the whole weekend. There was one prize to win and about 65 women in attendance. Guess who won the prize? ME! God filled me that much more with His love and blessing, because He knew I needed it. He knew I needed the confirmation of love and acceptance in a room of people who started as strangers and left as friends. He knew I needed the devotion book that was in that prize."

One of the things I specifically pray over the prize is that whoever wins will feel seen, known, and love just in the mere winning. I trust God to make sure it gets into the right hands, and He absolutely did, didn't He?

I'm encouraged. I'm encouraged by little plants...gorgeous sunsets...and perfectly-chosen prize winners. He's in the details.

A Message to Share

Before I show you some more moments from our retreat weekend...we're back with a new podcast this week! We sat out last week, because our hearts were still processing so much from Ryan's mom's death, and we feared we couldn't be the podcast hosts we wanted to be, so we gave ourselves a bereavement week. We're back now with a fresh round of stories for your Tuesday!

Listen here!

Ryan was so kind to take some pictures of my sessions this weekend, and I saw a few extras posted by ladies at the retreat, so I borrowed them too! :)

The topic of this retreat was Fill My Cup, Lord, and it was the most perfect topic for my own life these last few months. As I prepared, studied, and wrote, we were walking through the season of illness with Ryan's mom, and I needed the words I ended up sharing with the ladies. God is so good like that!

Here are a few shots from Friday night, and the session called What's in Your Cup? (The retreat, by the way, was in this beautiful lodge. This was the common area where we did everything!) This first session was packed full of hard questions, but I hoped it set the stage for the rest of the weekend!

Saturday morning, I shared a session called Overflowing, and it contained many of the lessons I learned most while walking through Nita's illness. I hoped the ladies would learn whatever they needed in their own ways, and it sounded like that did happen! (There were some women who came in only for Saturday, so the place was extra full that day!)

The third session, which took place Saturday afternoon, was called Bear the Blessing, and I got convicted by this very message even while I was delivering it! Whew! (And yes, I do change clothes every time I speak.)

And Sunday morning, the final session, was called Pouring In, Pouring Out. I love that talk so much and was excited to share it with them.

This was the first time I'd presented this set of talks together at a retreat, and I think this one may be my new favorite set of talks. I felt like the messages were timely no matter what was happening in the lives of the women in front of me, and I appreciated how God used it to shape me even more. (Granted, that pruning wasn't always fun, but it was necessary.)

It's been so encouraging to see some of the ladies' posts on Facebook since the weekend ended. To read what they took away from the ideas shared has been a boost to my heart. (Not because of my own work, but because of the affirmation of what God has been doing!)

Women's Retreat: Behind the Scenes

Ryan and I got home last night after spending the weekend serving together at a women's retreat.

It. Was. A. Wonderful. Weekend.

I have so much to process in my heart, so I'll start today by showing you some of the behind/between the scenes moments.

Ryan had the entire day off work Friday, so we were able to finish our packing and leave in the late morning. We had a BEAUTIFUL day to drive, and we were so excited that this retreat was held on our beloved Lake Webster. We had carved out a little time before the retreat began to have a date, because we sorely needed it.

(We still hadn't shed our permanently exhausted looks, I noticed.)

We love this coffee shop. I've talked about it before, during our summer visits to the lake. It's just such a serene place, and we love everything we've ever ordered. We sat for a long time, talking and remembering some of our favorite former dates in this little spot. When we felt we had taken up enough of their time and space, we ventured toward the water.

It was so pretty under that blue sky.

I cannot possibly explain to you what a dear, dear place in my soul this lake holds. It's been almost ten years now that I've been visiting it regularly, and God and I have had many, many, many talks here. I've cried a lot of tears into this water, I've sensed many nudges, and I've done a lot of heart-healing. Ryan and I have had some significant moments together as a couple on this lake, and we've put some stones in our life-altar beside these waters. I love all water, but I may love this water most of all.

We headed over to the retreat center to get set up and settled in. They were using a brand new lodge this year, and it was beautiful!!

We stayed in the same room we stayed in last year when we served at this retreat, and they left us some beautiful gifts!

I spoke for the first time Friday evening, and I'll tell you more about that another day. Ryan and I both got a GREAT night of rest (amazing what happens when you don't have a cat standing on your face at 2 a.m. sobbing for a drink).

Check out these beautiful food trays that were among the lunch offerings. WOW!

The women had free time all Saturday afternoon (something I think is wonderful at a retreat like this...down time is as necessary as the programmed time) and Ryan and I took advantage of the opportunity to have another little date and go on our first walk of 2019!

We parked at his family's cottage and checked out the lake view from the porch. :)

Then we walked into town and look where we landed!!!

I mean how did that happen???

We loved every second of that date, and we even squeezed in a little rest before going back for the afternoon/evening session of the retreat.

I was absolutely exhausted at the end of day two. This was an intense set of talks for me (as most of them tend to be, in all fairness) so I was worn, body and soul, when the day was done. Ryan and left the fellowship time a little early, and I wound up with a full eight hours of sleep under my belt by the time the alarm went off the next morning.

Oh, what a wonderful time of heart-healing and growth it was for both of us! We appreciated the ladies being so understanding about our own need for space to listen and be filled, even as we gave all we had to helping them do the same.

Grace.

The Shafferland Shuffle

Very slowly, we are starting to find our footing in our routine again, and this week brought a bigger taste of that!

* Last Sunday morning, it snowed again here in Indiana. I am beyond thinking it's cute anymore, but I will say it was the perfect snow. Pretty and snow-globey coming down from the sky, and it didn't stick to roads or sidewalks. Win-win! Ryan and I went to lunch with our pastor and his wife, where we talked all things ministry and ate chicken tortilla soup, because it was that kind of day. And then I rehearsed some of my retreat talks with Ryan so he could know how the power points are supposed to go.

* Monday I spent some extra time in Bible study, and I already told you about the verses from James that were so meaningful to me. I got new oils in the mail, which made me so happy, and then that evening, Ryan and I played divide and conquer. I had a women's ministry meeting at church, and he went to the cabin to see the family. We both got home crazy late and stayed up exactly long enough to have one cup of coffee. Then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

* Tuesday morning I wrote notes to all of the ladies registered for the retreat this weekend, and it was quite a pile when I got done! I met Ryan's step-mom for coffee that afternoon, and since Ryan had a long day, I decided to surprise him with a Grasshopper latte at work. He loved it! We hosted small group that night, and it was a very worship-filled evening. (And Braeya worked the crowd the entire time and then fell into a socialite slumber after everyone left.)

* My mom stopped by on Wednesday to drop off a gift from their church. So thoughtful! They gave us a beautiful little lantern and bird figurine! This was my only day to be home the entire day, so I took advantage of equal work and rest times. I was trying so hard to stay germ-free ahead of my speaking weekend. Ryan and I planned to go to DQ for the first-day-of-spring-free-ice-cream, but he was so exhausted after his work day that we stayed home and ate ice cream from our freezer. And then we had a whole night at home alone together, which we both needed.

* Thursday morning was the closing brunch for the Bible study I was part of this year...except I missed most of this entire semester because of Nita's illness and death. My group was kind enough to reach out and ask me to still come to the closing session, so I did, and it was a good boost for my soul. I spend the afternoon packing all the things I needed for my retreat this weekend. This picture is just the work related stuff. Not clothes and such. I don't travel light. :) And Ryan's sister had a Pampered Chef party that night, and guys were welcome too! We went and had fun, and clearly Ryan is confused about how you use the tools. :)

* Friday morning, we left for the retreat where I've been speaking this weekend. We had a coffee date together, enjoyed looking at the lake, and got all set up to share with an incredible group of ladies! It wasn't really warm, but it sure was sunny and pretty, and the lake was all blue and lovely. Did my heart a world of good.

* Yesterday we awakened to a beautiful lake sunrise, and the whole day did NOT disappoint from there. The sessions with the ladies seemed to go well (I hope so, anyway!) and we had great opportunities to hear from them what God was doing in their hearts. And during the free time in the afternoon, we had our first official walk of 2019, in the sunshine, by the lake! YAY! We even got to watch the sun set over the lake. So, so thankful!!