29 Years Ago...

I don't blog about this every year, and it's actually been a couple of years since I have mentioned the significance of September 18th, so I want to do it today.

Today is my nephew's 29th birthday - the day we said hello and goodbye all in one breath.

We met him in a whirlwind of emotions we hadn't planned to feel. We didn't know about people losing babies to stillbirth. Even as recently as 29 years ago, people just didn't talk about it. We had no reason to expect it would happen to us until the doctor walked into the room and told us he was gone.

The hospital staff was kind. They encouraged us to hold him and take photos. (This was long before the time of organizations that came in and took pictures for families. This was also long before the Bekahrazzi found her razzi.)

So we did what they said. In those early Sunday morning hours, we held him, we took pictures, and we alternated between crying and sitting in shock.

Perhaps it was this day that instilled in me the importance of story. Maybe this is what began to drive me to capture the moments and not apologize for it.

I do know that about three years later, I wrote about this day for a school assignment, and it is a treasured possession to me now. I was still close enough to my ten-year-old emotions that I could capture the day as it happened. It was my first raw writing, and it taught me how important those pieces can be. Time robs of us of so much memory that journals and pictures can preserve if we'll only take the time to commit them to paper.

Even though everything about that day (and season) was unexpected, God was so faithful to sustain our entire family. People who had perhaps never spoken before of their own losses hesitantly approached us and confided that they knew what we felt. God gave strength where we had none and loved us through our hurt.

We never forget Kirk. He's part of our family, and even though he doesn't live here with us like we had always hoped and dreamed he would, he's still making an impact on each of us.

He was an honorary groomsman in our wedding, a reminder that his life helped shape mine into the woman I became for Ryan.

Twenty-nine years is a long time, and yet I remember that day vividly. I am grateful for Kirk's life, for the impact he had that day and continues to have on me every day.

Twenty-nine years ago I became an aunt, and I celebrate his life today.

Linking up with Tamar today