What We Did Right

On my last day as a single girl, I wrote this post to anyone waiting for love. And with my first anniversary looming in the not-too-distant future, I wanted to write a new post...to celebrate what went right in this first year of marriage.

Have we had a perfect year? Absolutely not. Have we messed up? You bet we have. Are we as crazy happy in love as we were here?

Even more so.

What We Did Right In Our First Year of Marriage
By Rebekah J. Shaffer

Go to Bed Together and Get Up Together. {We can say this because we don't work opposite shifts. I know this is genuinely not possible for some of you. But if at all possible....} I am the classic night owl. I love nothing more than staying up until two in the morning and sleeping until noon. Ryan adores mornings. Anything past seven is considered sleeping in dangerously late, and he's usually ready to call it quits around nine in the evening. We made the choice from day one that we'd go to bed and get up together. Always. Regardless. On those Saturdays when he has to work? I'm up at 5 with him. {Now. I may sneak a nap on the couch later, but I'm UP.} Those nights when I have one more scrapbook page aching to be created and he can't keep his eyes open? We go to bed and he snuggles beside me while I prop up and finish my work. This is a form of accountability for us - in making each other a priority, even on days when it's not entirely convenient.

Talk. Always Talk. We spend about eleven hours a day apart from each other, when you factor in work hours and commutes. Because of this, we've chosen to spend our commutes talking to each other. And throughout the day, we sneak in texts to one another as much as we can. I put a note in his lunch box every day and he surprises me now and then with one in mine.And sometimes, like one night last week, we just put aside everything we're supposed to do, and we talk. Deep, heart-to-heart, look-into-each-other's-eyes talking.

Date. We've set aside one day a week as date day, and we protect it with a vengeance. It gives us a way to say to each other that we value this relationship. Sometimes, of course, the day has to be claimed for something else, and when that happens, we make sure we reschedule for another day around it so we don't lose that time altogether. Too easy to start that bad habit.

Celebrate. I've been the butt of more than a few jokes for my insistence that we celebrate our anniversary every single month. Mom asked me the other day if I would be able to let that go after we cross the one year mark. Maybe, maybe not. I waited 34 years to get married and I'm not done celebrating that magnificent answer to prayer! If I want to continue my observance of it on a monthly basis, I'm not going to feel one bit bad about it. We love to celebrate - anniversaries, birthdays, National Pie Day - you name it! Hard to be mad or sad when you're celebrating - so celebrate!

Unite and Conquer. Ryan and I have vastly different gifts. I'm a writer, blogger, and scrapbooker. He's a handyman and exercise nut. It would be so easy for me to sit at home and write while he goes to the gym or works on things around the house that I can't do. And it would probably be easier for him to leave me behind while he plows through all his chores. But we don't do it that way. He changed his gym membership to one near our home so we can go together. And when he works on things I don't know how to do, I pull up my laptop and write while he plays with power tools.

Dream. I love it that Ryan isn't afraid to dream. And goodness knows, I'm the queen of dreams. I love the moments we spend together - imagining scenarios for our future and getting excited about the possibilities. Who knows!? Maybe some of those dreams will come true. Some, I'm sure, won't. But to have a partner in the dreaming...is a dream come true in itself.

Pray, pray, pray. Ryan is my biggest prayer warrior. I know all I have to do is say the word and he'll drop whatever he's doing to pray for me. Even if we're not in the same place. And I'd do the same for him. And while I love that, I also love praying together. I love the mornings that begin with prayer time - Ryan's arms wrapped around me and the two of us offering our hearts to God.

It's been a wild year - with tons of home renovations, lots of traveling {and then the commuting on top of it} and many, many changes. But I'm so glad we've invested so intentionally and I'm thankful to come through year one feeling like we did SOMETHING right! {A few somethings, even!}

Thankfulness, Day 5: Aren't you thankful for grace? Ryan extends it to me every day and I'm humbled that I get to love a husband who gives grace. And there are a few other people from along the path of my life who extended grace without limits. Because of them, I understand a bit better this amazing gift GOD offers to me. Who has been a grace-giver in your world? Pick one and thank him or her for one specific time when you learned a bit about the grace of God because of a tangible grace-offering in life.