30 Days Later...

Not sure if you remember the details or not, but a month ago, I wrote about a little challenge God issued to me. My tendency is to be a little on the OCD side...a little driven to make plans and figure out what's headed my way...and while there's nothing wrong with being who I am in that respect, my heart and stomach were as tense as could possibly be.

God asked me to try, just for 30 days, to begin each day with a series of surrender-based questions: How can I love You best today? How can I rest in you today? What do You want from me today? What do You have for me today? Key word: today. Not looking ahead to September 27th, 2067.

Here are some things I've learned in that 30 day span:

* It won't go perfectly. There were still days when I fought the urge to tap on the door of the Throne Room and say, "Seriously? Can you just give me the plan from here until Heaven?" There were still days...even this week...when I cried because the whole thing was just flat out frustrating. BUT. God was good to help me reframe those moments, and the meltdowns lasted moments instead of hours, and I was able to return to the questions and say "Okay, God. This moment. Just this moment. Let's focus on that."

* Messages are there if you choose to see them. My journal overflows with quotes I found in my devotions, sermon notes, tweets, blog posts, emails...it was amazing to see how many times EVERY DAY God sent messages my way that met the joys and struggles of that day. And on the days when I did the best...I noticed the messages were the most infrequent. At first I thought it was because I'd stopped paying attention, but I realized that it really was just that I didn't need them as desperately that day.

* People CAN tell the difference. I had people say to me constantly throughout the adventure that they could see a difference in me. As previously stated, I didn't morph into a never-stressed person. I still had days that were tough. But overall, I changed enough that people noticed and were kind enough to say something about it. And for that, I was grateful!

* It's a practice worth keeping. I said at the beginning that I figured God would ask me to try it for 30 days and then at the end of that, I'd more than likely stick with it. And that is indeed my plan. There is incredible freedom in NOT needing to know what's going to happen every minute of every day. There's freedom in waiting to see what sorts of surprises God brings along. There's freedom in living in anticipation. So yes. I'll be keeping it.

So....in the initial post about this, I made a little video clip and I said I wanted to do a second one at the end of the 30 days just to see if I could see a change in me...so here is video #2. I know what I see...but I won't cloud your judgment. You can make your own decision! :)