Bits for Sunday, October 26, 2008

I just finished some research for the Bible study I’m writing, which means I’ve spent about the last 3 hours camped out in the Kings and Chronicles. My head is spinning with my attempts to keep straight the kings of the divided nation of Israel…which ones were good…which ones were evil…which ones converted from good to evil or evil to good depending on who they married…exhausting. How did I ever make it through Old Testament Survey with an A?

Speaking of “how did I ever?”…it became very apparent to me this week that I’m getting old, y’all!! Friday night I went to game night, which is a two-or-three-times-a-year gathering of a few friends from my high school class. We hang out, eat dinner, play games (a.k.a. I learn to be a graceful loser) and talk about the good old days – which may or may not have actually been good. Until this week, game nights have always been at my house, but this time someone else hosted, so I got a field trip to Indy.

Side note…fell in love with the Garmin that the person I rode with had in his car. I think I could perhaps learn to love driving if I had a Garmin. It was truly the most amazing little thing I’d ever seen. Must put that on the “to buy” list.

Anyway, so we went to Indy, played our games, had our food, relived the good old days – we even all wore our senior shirts and took goofy pictures. But it has been a while since I stayed out that late. I got home about 2:15 in the morning. While it’s not been all that long since I’ve stayed up until 2, it has been a while since I tried to operate a motor vehicle at that hour. WHEW! Talk about getting close to God in prayer! And to think I did that days in a row in college…and still got up at 6:30 in the morning…and didn’t believe in naps. Yes, it’s official…I’m old.

None of that has to do with what I was going to tell you today, though. Some of you have already heard this story, so I do apologize if it’s a repeat for you. (Although I have to say…you’ll probably laugh at me again just like you did the first time.) I said I wasn’t going to tell this story until I was forty. And I’m not forty. But I have developed enough of a sense of humor during the remainder of this week that I think I can handle telling the story anyway.

Our office has had a bit of an issue with temperature regulation this week. And by “bit of an issue” – I mean that it registered over 80 on more than one occasion. I prefer the office to be about 60, and that’s when I wear short sleeves! I’ve moved to winter clothing now, so even 60 is hot for me. Needless to say, after several hours of the 80 degree business, my face was sliding off, my clothes were sticking to me, I was grumpy, and one day, extremely sick to my stomach.

On Wednesday the heat mostly melted my brain cells. I was aware that my mind was not operating at full speed. I was aware that my creativity levels were at an all-time dangerous low. I went to Bible study with full awareness of all these facts. Sigh. If only I had heeded this knowledge with the exercise of common sense.

That night we studied the Beatitudes. The group numbered about a dozen people – the largest group yet since I’ve started going. Please be aware that in this group was one of my former teachers and a host of people that I’m finding to be new friends. We opened our Bibles and settled in for a night of learning and discussion.

The Bible study leader began by saying some scholars call the Beatitudes the “Ordination Address to the Twelve.” The group (minus me) discussed what that might mean. Once that had been discussed to a good extent, he went on to say that others call it the “Magna Carta of the Kingdom.” I listened as they picked around at that phrase, trying to recall its definition from history classes. Finally, he said that it’s sometimes known as the “Manifesto of the King.” What could that mean?

You have to understand how much I detest silence. The longer it goes, the more uncomfortable I become. Apparently the rest of the group was exhausted from the last question because no one answered. So I, in all my melted-brain-cell wisdom, piped up rather loudly, “Isn’t a manifesto the list of passengers on an airplane?”

WHAT!?!?

Even as I heard the words exiting my mouth, I realized that was possibly the dumbest thing I’ve said since I’ve turned 30. Everyone laughed (as well they should have) and I turned 57 shades of red. Someone kindly informed me that the word I was thinking of was actually “manifest.” Ohhhhhhhh.

Airplanes in the New Testament? Seriously, Rebekah!!! I buried my head in my Bible for the rest of the study and managed to not burst into tears until I was safely hidden in the dark car for the ride home.

It is because of this rather recent inability to command my own native language that I’m hesitant to move past actually researching for this Bible study I started writing…and putting words on paper. But then again, it might end up being the world’s first comedy study. They always said in writing classes that to be good, you have to be cutting edge. Hmmmmm….