Growing Up in a Day

I'll admit - I'm one of those who still does a lot of reflecting on this day. 9/11 did a little bit of something different to everyone - and for me it involved growing up more quickly in that one day than any big block of time around it.

Of course everyone has the "I remember where I was when I heard..." story about this day.

I'll admit to you (with a decent amount of humiliation) that I did not even know we had twin towers in New York. I certainly didn't know they were called The World Trade Center. And, not being a watcher of news, I had no clue that anything was happening that day. I was at work, and back in those days, our division (made up of multiple offices) had monthly division meetings. September 11th was a meeting day. I remember filing into the conference room that overlooks the gym and hearing this rumbling in conversation around me, but I had no idea what anyone was talking about. I remember someone from the Admissions Office coming into the meeting and telling us that the second plane had hit - but I was still clueless.

Later that morning, I went with one of my friends to her doctor's appointment. I was supposed to be going as moral support, but I'm afraid I was too glued to the TV in the waiting room to be of much comforting service. I just sat for however many minutes she was in the office...watching in disbelief.

That afternoon, I had a dentist appointment, and I sat in the chair, letting the ladies rip my mouth apart. For the first time, I didn't even notice. I was completely engrossed in the TV coverage. I was in the dentist's chair when the news came that gas had gone up to - well - pretty much what we pay every day, now! THAT was when I started to really get scared.

Of all the lousy times to pick...my parents had gone on vacation and were in Michigan at the time. My ex-boyfriend (who was still a good friend) was gone for work, and the longer the day went on, the more I wished that one of the two would come home. I did not like feeling alone.

Back in those days, I was a consultant for a rubber stamp company, and I already had a show booked for that night. I remember calling the hostess to see if she wanted to go on, and she said she thought it would be okay. I remember calling Mom to see if she thought it would be safe to go. She said probably.

So I went. I pulled myself away from the TV long enough to go about life and try to experience some normalcy. On the way home from the show that night, I remember stopping at an unfamiliar gas station to pay the $4 a gallon to try to cushion the tank a bit. I remember glancing all around as I pumped the gas, wondering if the next attack was going to hit Indiana. Crazy - but true.

And that was the day I grew up pretty quickly. That was the day I realized the world could completely fall apart and my parents might not be there. And there might not be a man in the picture to rush to the rescue. And yet somehow I'd have to make it work. I'd have to just pick up and keep going.

What I experienced is not even comparable to what those directly involved experienced. I've been watching some of the History channel documentaries this evening - and I just can't imagine being some of these people and trying to pick up and go after being right there in all of it. No matter how much I watch...I can't grasp it.