It's a Parade!

We are learning our new community slowly but surely, and we are grateful for the many friends around who clue us in to things we definitely don't want to miss!

Last week's don't-miss-moment? A parade! I LOVE parades! And Adams County has a parade in conjunction with the 4H fair, which is actually something our home county does NOT have. One of the families in our small group lives right on the parade route, so they invited our small group over for dinner and to enjoy the parade from their yard!

I took cheesy potatoes - and it's possible I didn't pay attention to the amount of cheese suggested and mostly doubled it. Those potatoes were cleaned OUT, and I think the people stopped just short of licking the spoon. So there's a tip for you: double the cheese on your next batch of cheesy potatoes!

We ate inside because it was pretty sticky out that evening. I didn't take group pictures because...well, I'm still new. But I did get this gem of Ryan and me!

We did move outside for the parade, but amazingly enough, it was much cooler by then. It helped that a tree blocked the sun as it set, so the shade went the extra mile in cooling us down. 

Here's another fun fact. There's a guy in Fort Wayne who flies his plane over festivals and parades and flies a WBCL banner behind it! I'm friends with him on social media, so I not only got a picture of his plane, but I was able to borrow HIS picture of the parade from the air! (Photo credit: Tim Blomenberg.)

I did nab a few pictures whilst dodging flying candy!

My friend Julie and I wondered what happened if there were any emergencies in the county, since we seemed to see all the vehicles from every corner! 

Extra creative points to these people: ride in a boat!

Little tractors...

...and BIG ones!

Baton twirlers. I would have dropped mine a thousand times. Props to them.

This one wasn't on backup duty either, I guess! :) 

I always feel sorry for bands marching in the hot parades!

This guy made me dizzy. But this was a fabulously creative float. 

It's good to be prepared for ALL seasons at once. I approve. 

So adorable!

Though we live on the wrong side of the state to be in the RV manufacturing capital of the country, there is a decent industry here, and there were THREE RVs in the parade. I was so excited! 

Fun night, fun with friends, and fun parade!!

PS - Another tip is to not put your coffee on the curb. Someone landed a piece of candy RIGHT in it. 

Sunday Sentiments

 

This week I finished up the third book in the Precepts Bible studies on Genesis. The first book was a four-week study about Creation (though I stretched it farther than four weeks), the second book was a seven-week study on The Fall, The Flood, and the Nations, and then this most recent book was a six-week study on Abraham called Becoming a Friend of the Faithful God. 

I've studied Abraham's life before - more than once, actually - but this time was different. It probably is the most in-depth study I've done on his life, and I didn't realize that along the way of my slow, careful study, he started to feel like a friend to me, too.

Never before have I immersed myself into his life story and seen how deep the push and pull of his desire to be a faithful man of God and his stumbling with sin and selfishness. Never before have I seen how deep - truly deep - his love for Sarah. Never before have I realized just how deep his faith was, especially in light of all he did not have in his lifetime (like the Bible, for example) to teach him.

This week, I studied Sarah's death, followed by Abraham's, and I nearly cried as I read. 

It struck me so profoundly that when Sarah died, the only way he had left to show his love and devotion to her was to properly bury her. They were in a land that, as my study pointed out, belonged entirely to Abraham as part of the promise, but he actually legally owned none of it and had to purchase land to bury his wife. 

The people of the land had such deep respect for him that they wanted to just give him the land as a gift, but he would not hear of it. He insisted on paying a fair price for it. Part of that, I'm sure, was because he was a good and sound businessman. But part of it felt to me like a man who wanted to give this one last gift to his wife, and it only felt complete if it was truly his. 

In this study, I noticed Sarah's occasionally bossy and complaining side. She manipulated things by insisting Hagar have a child in her place and then got angry when she did. Everything she asked or told Abraham to do, he did, and then she would come back and tell him to go fix what he did. Though I know Sarah had good, faith-filled qualities too, I must admit, I am not sure I would have loved living next door to her! But despite the grief she sometimes caused him, Abraham stayed fully devoted to her through her whole life and into her death.

And then when Abraham died, Ishmael and Isaac came back together to bury him beside Sarah. They put aside their own lifelong differences to honor their father. And even in death, Abraham was with Sarah, though he had gone on to marry one more time after she died - and he had more children, as well. 

When I finished the story of his life, I felt like I had said goodbye to a dear friend. I learned much from him in this study. I know that since the Word of God is living and active, I will have many more opportunities to learn from his life. But for today, I am grateful for all I have learned from this dear friend. 

The Saturday Six

 

If you've been reading here very long, you know how much I love lists! List-making comes easily to me because it's just part of what I love, but in recent years, I've made some specific kinds of lists that have made life in general SO much easier. I thought I'd share a few of those lists with you today in case you need to simplify/organize your life a bit, too!

One.

A gift suggestion list. I started doing this a few years ago, and I am so glad I did! In our family, we still give gifts at Christmas and birthdays. When I was a kid, I could sit down and scribble out a lengthy wish list for either of those occasions, but as I got older, those lists were harder to make! I owned most of the things I wanted - either from collecting over time or from just buying things for myself. So I made a wish list on Amazon and started tossing things on it when I thought of something I'd like to have, but I didn't need it in this exact moment, so there wasn't an urgency to buy it. If I ended up getting it for myself, I removed it from the list. Anything still there around Christmas or birthday time could be shared with family as a wish list. It saved me the hassle of trying to think of things on command at wish-list time, and it offered ideas of things I really needed and could use! (For my birthday this year, my sister gifted me a set of extra-heavy-duty pot holders and oven mitts from that list. I got to throw away my gross, burned-through ones from a decade ago, and the new ones are pretty amazing!) 

Two.

A recipe list. I cook most of our meals from the Dashing Dish site, but sometimes I find gems from other random places around the internet/Pinterest, or I use recipes shared from friends. I realized one day that if I rely on pinned recipes, I'm in real trouble if the recipe author takes down his or her site and I can't access the information anymore! (Or if our internet is down...) Then there are the times I know I have a great recipe, but I can't remember the source. So a few years ago, I started a running file in a Word document in my computer. When I find a recipe I love enough to keep, I put it in my document and immediately print a hard copy for a binder I keep with my cookbooks. Then if I can't access my computer, for whatever reason, I still have a list of all my favorite recipes. And if I need to search for a key word, I can look it up in the document. It's a win-win! 

Three.

A travel packing list. While we are not full-time travelers, we do take a handful of trips throughout each year. Some are full vacations and others are overnight trips for a variety of reasons. For a long time, it felt like I perpetually forgot something (minor and yet simultaneously important) on each packing adventure. It might be the sound machine, it might be my phone charger...you get the idea. So I finally made a master packing list in Word. I included everything that could potentially need to come on EVERY trip, regardless of length. When it's time to go somewhere, I save a copy of the master list, rename it to that particular trip, and delete the things I won't need. (For example - if it's a winter trip to a snowy place, I probably won't need bug spray.) I add in the specifics for that trip - like a fancy dress for dinner, or whatever - and use that to pack. I also have a master packing list for Abby to make sure we don't forget any essential RV equipment! This has sped up my packing process SO MUCH!!!

Four.

An accomplishment list. I saw a suggestion on Pinterest to make a "skills and accomplishments" list. I don't necessarily have one of these, but I have something similar, and let me tell you why I think it's important. My list includes places I have done public speaking and links to online articles I've written. This is very helpful for me if I'm submitting a pitch to speak at an event or write for a company. They want to know what I've done, and it's so much faster for me to have all that information at hand. For you, having some sort of similar list of the things you've done could help if you're applying for a job or an opportunity to be part of something. My mind always freezes when I have to think of things on the spot, so keeping this running list is helpful. Ryan and I are also making something similar to this for our work at Love INC, so we can hand a list to the board at each meeting, reviewing the things we have accomplished since the previous meeting. It's great accountability! 

Five.

Location lists! Last year, when Ryan and I were camping in a large state park, we knew it was a park we would want to return to again (probably multiple times, actually). So one evening, we walked around and made a list of sites we would prefer to have the next time we came. (On our first visit, the park was so full, and we had to take what we could get when we reserved. We ended up in the very middle of everything. It wasn't awful, but it wouldn't have been our choice.) So we looked for spots with a better view, some decent space, etc. Later in the year, we went back and we did get one of those spots. It was perfect! This year, while hiking in another park, we wandered over to the campground to make a similar list so when we eventually camp there, we know where we would prefer to stay. I just open a note on my phone and type in site numbers for this. If you don't camp, this list could be tweaked to include hotels or Airbnbs you want to try where you're going. 

Six.

A funeral list. Last year I wrote a little blog series about the things we wish we had known before Ryan's mom and step-dad passed away. The last post in the series was about funeral wishes. We did have a list of things from Ryan's mom about her funeral wishes, but unfortunately we did not have that conversation with her until after the brain tumor was well underway, so her answers to some questions were not fully accurate. (For example - she said she wanted to be buried in her bathrobe. If you knew her, you would know that was NOT her. And we did NOT do that.) Allen died so unexpectedly that there were absolutely no directives on his funeral. I think the kids did a great job honoring them with both funerals, but it really is helpful if you make a list of your wishes - just in case something unexpected happens. It's not fun to think about, and I get that, but it can be really helpful to your loved ones in their grief!

The Story of Us...in Pictures

Here is a fun fact you might not know about me. Back in my high school days, I was a huge fan of Point of Grace. (It's not that I'm not a fan now, but back then, I wanted to be in Point of Grace.) I guess maybe there are a few of you who might not know who I'm talking about, so if that's you, let me help! :) Point of Grace began back in the 90s when 4 college girls sang together at their school - and then stayed together after they graduated. They ended up recording many albums, and most of the early ones I know by heart - including all the background vocals. Along the way, they had a couple of personnel changes and are actually a trio now, but they still travel and sing! (They are also much more country now than they were when they started, but I still love their sound.)

I realized that I actually wasn't following them on social media, so I started doing that a few days ago, and I scrolled through to read a whole bunch of posts. I found one that felt profound to me, and it has inspired my thoughts to you today. It was written by Leigh, and she said, "I was given some great advice after I got married... Keep pictures of one another close to your heart and in view. I love that advice! This picture was taken after our baby shower for my daughter. Dana and I are so happy in this picture; we couldn't wait to meet our baby girl. Do you have pictures of your loved one that remind you of sweet times? I would advise it."

Well if that doesn't just speak our language, right?

Though I just now read the advice, it's something we have always done. I look around our home, and I love seeing the story of what God has done for, in, and through us told in pictures. 

* In our kitchen, we have a picture from our engagement photo shoot. Ryan's mom took it (which I love), and we're sitting on a park bench drinking coffee and gazing lovingly at each other. I choose to keep that particular picture in the kitchen because of the coffee, but I loved that whole night of photos. We went to our favorite park and she took dozens (hundreds?) of photos of us having a great time together. 

* In our foyer, we have a picture taken at the front of the church this past Easter, when we had our little buddy with us for the weekend. I had worked so hard to put together our outfits that I hoped would kind of match, and we were excited to be able to take him to church on Easter Sunday morning. It was our first Sunday in this new church. I didn't keep the dress, because everyone hated it. But I love the picture (one of the few of the three of us that we were able to get someone else to take!) and am so glad we have it. 

* On our living room wall, we have two 8x10 frames with pictures from our most recent fall photo shoot. Each year I update to new pictures from that year, and for that year, I love remembering the fun we had at the most recent photo shoot. (We always have a blast at them.) This past year, one of our Gateway coworkers did the pictures for us, and she was so much fun to work with. We actually had to do it in two parts, because it started raining as soon as we showed up for our original appointment! We appreciated her making time to work us in a second time!

* Also in our living room, we have a picture of us sitting on the beach on our honeymoon, a picture of Ryan proposing to me, and our first family picture with Lexi - who is SO TINY!!!!! We also have pictures of us with each of our immediate families, and a picture of us on the beach with our wedding party. So many memories wrapped up in each of those pictures! 

* In our office, we have the photo of us walking away from the camera, hand in hand, and this was the photo we sent in to have our cake topper made! (Our topper was a black acrylic cutout of that picture, and I still LOVE IT!)

* Our office is also full of group pictures of the Bible study groups we have led and the various groups of coworkers we've shared life with over the past few years. Each of those people shaped us in ways that continued to make us who we are.

* Though our bedroom mostly has wedding pictures, we have a few others scattered around, including the collage of hand pictures (pinky promise swear, holding hands, praying together, and wedding ring display) printed all in black and white. Every single one of those pictures tells the story of how we began, and I treasure them! 

I think Leigh was given great advice, and I join her in passing it on to you. Display the photos. They matter. They don't have to be pictures from professional settings, although they can be. Just take pictures that share a memory that inspires you to continue to press on toward becoming who you are in Christ with the people God has put in your life to walk beside you. If you don't have a spouse, don't think that pictures aren't for you! Display your friends, your family, the kiddos in your life...all the people who help shape you! This is the story of you!

Couples' Bucket List - Part 2 (SOMEDAY!!!)

 

Today concludes my mini-series of bucket list items. It's been fun to write these...thanks for reading along on these memories and dreams!

If you are just catching up, I found this bucket list for couples and read through to see what ones we had done. I shared about some of them on Monday and Tuesday, and then yesterday and today I'm listing ones I hope we do in the future!

60. Start a side hustle together.

We actually have an idea of something that we would love to ultimately do full-time (would make a fun retirement job!) but it occurred to us just this week that maybe we should test it out as a side hustle now. We can find out if we like it, and if we do, then we have a head start on full-time life. And if we don't like it...well, we haven't poured everything into it, right? 

66. Spend a night stargazing at a national park. 

Yes! This would be so much fun. Also...just visiting all the national parks. YES!!! Remember that 12-route cross country trip I have dreamed up? It includes most, if not all, of the national parks. I follow way too many full-time RVers, I'm afraid!

72. Plant a fruit tree in the garden and photograph its growth.

Well, I don't have a garden, but I do love documenting trees as they grow. So maybe once things stabilize around here in the growing department (do not ask about our landscaping...I'll cry...) we can do some tree-growing documentaries! My parents planted trees for each of their grandchildren, and it is fun to look back at how tiny those trees were when they first planted them!

73. Go fruit-picking and bake a pie together.

THIS would be really fun. We've never been fruit-picking, and I think it would be a lot of fun to do. I am a pie failure, and I think that's a fairly well-documented fact, but perhaps if we worked together, we coud figure it out? And pie IS Ryan's favorite thing!

85. Create a calendar of woodland fall photographs and sell copies for charity.

Hmmmm, if only we knew a charity! Oh wait! We work for one! :) I've never made a calendar that wasn't just a gift for one person, but I do enjoy making calendars! This could be fun! A working date!

86. Have a Christmas movie marathon in onesies.

YES!!! Anyone think I can talk Ryan into this?? It wouldn't even have to be sappy TV movies, although.... ;) Onesies and coffee! And Christmas cookies! This would be a perfect date. 

87. Decorate your car like Santa's sleigh and drive around your neighborhood playing Christmas songs.

Does it count if we just stick a wreath on the front? I'm not sure I could talk Ryan into doing more than that. But it would be a fun way to go see Christmas lights!

Couples' Bucket List - Part 1 (SOMEDAY!!!)

For the last couple of days, I've had fun reminiscing about memories we've happily made from a bucket list we didn't even know existed. But we certainly haven't done ALL the things on the list. (And some don't appeal to us, which is also okay!)

But today I thought I'd note a few of the things that do sound really fun to try! Maybe you'd like to try one of them too!

3. Design a treasure hunt with clues about your relationship and important spots and places.

WHAT FUN!!!!! I'm sure there are multiple ways to do this - from actually revisiting some of those spots to just finding clues to take you back to those spots in your memories. I think this one is such a sweet idea. 

5. Hike a famously tall mountain.

The other night, Ryan and I watched a show about these people who climbed Mt. Bertha (didn't even know that was a place) in Alaska. And when I say "climbed," I mean straight up vertically with ice picks. And then they skied and snowboarded back down. It was terrifying even to watch. So when I put this on the list, I do NOT mean Mt. Bertha. And I don't mean anything like Everest, either. But I do think hiking up a mountain to a pretty view at the top would be a lot of fun! (A manageable mountain, that is.)

9. Rent a sports car and go for a sunset drive.

This is not the time, of course. Between the price of car rentals and gas, it's probably not a cost-effective date. But it would be fun to rent a sweet car that we would never be able to own - and go to some picturesque area to enjoy a sunset! 

11. Go on a hot air balloon ride.

The original suggestion was to drink champagne on a hot air balloon ride. Well, we don't drink, and I can promise you if we do a hot air balloon ride, I am not peeling my hands off the sides of the basket to drink ANYTHING - even water! I have actually ridden in a hot air balloon before, as a child, before I was tall enough to see over the basket! It is scary (for people who don't like heights, anyway) but I know this is on Ryan's bucket list, so I'd do it for him!

12. Write a giant love message to each other in the sand on the beach and photograph it from a nearby hillside or viewpoint.

We've never stayed anywhere with a beach view to be able to do this, but I think it sounds so fun if we ever do! There were some places behind our wedding spot that would have been the perfect vantage point to read messages in the sand!

13. Create your relationship playlist, including all the songs that hold special meaning to you as a couple. 

This would be so fun to work on together. From the song we had our first dance to...to the song that played on the air right after we got engaged...to the songs that played (and were supposed to play) at our wedding...and more!

18. Take a couples photo once a day for a whole year and scrapbook the photos.

We take a lot of pictures, but we've never done this! Doesn't it sound SO FUN????? I wonder how many funny faces Ryan could make in the course of a year!

20. Write love letters to each other to open in five years.

We write letters to each other every year on our anniversary, and then we open them the following anniversary and write a new one, but this is a fun idea, too! 

27. Book a hotel room for date night and order everything on the room service menu.

I put this here just to see if Ryan's still reading. LOL!!! Okay so maybe not EVVVVVVVERYTHING on the room service menu. But I will say this: once upon a time, we had planned to stay at one of the big downtown hotels in Indianapolis on our wedding night. Then we got married in Florida, so that didn't happen - and we've still never stayed there. I think it would be fun to stay there - on an upper floor with a sweet view - and order room service. Just one thing.

29. Book a night at an ice hotel.

I've seen these on TV and think they look fun (to try just once). I have no idea if there are any in a respectable traveling distance from here, but I think it sounds like a fabulous adventure! Update: I looked it up and apparently the only one in North America is this one in Quebec!

39. Apply for your dream jobs once a month until you retire or until you get it.

I actually read this one to Ryan a few days ago and told him it's not a bad idea! Worst case scenario, nothing happens, and best case scenario, you get to enjoy something really really fun at some point in your life! We still have some dream jobs on our wish list, so maybe we should give this one a try!

41. Take a cross-country road trip together. 

I may or may not have 11 of these earmarked for us. Or is it 12 now? I added one after the original set. Anyway. I have several years of travel in the hopper. This is one of our dream jobs. Can we combine it with the last idea?? :) 

44. Visit all 50 states.

YES. We want to do this!!! Absolutely! See the last item and the one before that, too. :) 

Couples' Bucket List (Part 2 - Checked!)

Yesterday I started sharing some ideas from a couples' bucket list I found on Pinterest. I shared the ones in the first half of the list that we have actually completed (though that is purely coincidental...I just found the list). Today I'm going to share ideas from the second half of the list!

There are actually a handful of items on the list that have to do with finances, which was intriguing to me. I don't think I've seen financial bucket list goals mixed in with date ideas! I'll skip over those, since finances tend to be a more personal thing, but I do want to say two things on this topic. First of all, I want to say that I'm really grateful that Ryan is financially responsible and that our goals and priorities on this topic have always matched. I know in a lot of marriages, money is a tense subject, but I'm grateful we have matching vision when it comes to spending and saving and such. That definitely helps! 

Secondly, the former financial aid counselor in me wants to say that one thing that mattered significantly to me (personal decision) before we were married was to completely pay off my student loan. I was fortunate that in the grand scheme of life, I did not have to take a huge amount of loans for school. I had paid consistently on them throughout my post-college years, but I was still working on them when Ryan and I started dating. I did not want to take that debt into our marriage, so I used savings to pay it off before we got married. It wasn't anything Ryan asked me to do, but it was something I wanted to be able to finish on my own - a chapter to close before marriage. I'm so grateful I was able to do it!

Okay! Moving on down the list.

62. Spend a weekend at a lake house.

Before Allen and Nita died, we usually spent a weekend at Allen's family's lake cottage every summer. The house is co-owned by a handful of family members, but Allen and Nita always had a few dates earmarked for them throughout the summer, and they graciously extended the invitation to visit to their kids. That was a real blessing for us! We both love the lake SO MUCH and miss being able to go now. Good memories from those weekends! (The photo is from one of our many boat rides on Lake Webster!)

68. Go on all the rides at a water park.

Does it count if Ryan went on the rides and I documented? We did enjoy a date day (years ago, now!) at Holiday World, and Ryan rode all the scary water rides, and I stood on the observation deck with all the moms, taking pictures. It was a fun day and we both got to enjoy doing what we loved!

69. Have an island-hopping vacation in the Caribbean or Mediterranean.

This one is a stretch, but we did take a couple of Caribbean cruises and hopped from places like Aruba to Curacao! Does that count? Ryan LOVES to cruise and used to go every year. That has slowed down since we got married, partly because air travel is SO expensive and partly because there are so many places here in the USA we want to see. But I have to say, I never imagined in my LIFE that I would get to see Caribbean islands. Those were some sweet memories!

71. Ride a well-known trail on your bicycles.

Well, I'm not sure how well-known it is, but one of my favorite dates we took was the day we did the Hamilton County tour and rented bikes to ride the Monon Trail down by Indianapolis. It was so much fun (minus the busy streets we had to occasionally cross and that one overpass that almost killed me on the upswing). I LOVED that date! We also rode the Pufferbelly in Fort Wayne a couple of times. I appreciate how that one ends at a cookie store! :) 

74. Have a romantic picnic at the park or on the beach. 

Did you know that a picnic was part of our first date? Everything about our first date was a surprise to me. Ryan planned the whole thing, and it started with a picnic in a park! (Photo above is one he took of me on that date.) He has since planned a handful of other picnics in parks, and I've enjoyed each one. I have a few picnics on the itinerary for our tenth anniversary extravaganza, too!

77. Go on a tandem bike ride by the beach or in the park.

DONE!!! Do you guys remember this one? We did this on our honeymoon! We rented a tandem bike and ride it into the village of Siesta Key. We had a great time and on the way home, it was dark, so we decided to ride the beach instead of the road. It seemed safer until we got out there. The sand was packed down so hard, and the back seat of that bike didn't have great shocks. It was an adventure for sure! 

78. Try a workout class together, such as Pilates or cycling.

Oh my. The working out together. Back in our Kokomo days, we joined a small local gym that had classes at FIVE THIRTY IN THE MORNING. I lasted about a month before the early morning hours and the intensity of the class participants got the best of me. Ryan loved it and continued going until we moved. He actually even became an instructor for a while! I don't think our skill sets are ever compatible enough for this, but I am glad we tried it.  (Picture is from our first trip to the gym. I wasn't awake.)

80. Sign up for a fun challenge, such as the 5K Color Run.

I was actually training for a 10K when we started dating, so Ryan joined me in the training and ran the race with me too! We ran the Fort 4 Fitness 10K right before we got engaged! I don't know that I would call any part of that fun - except getting to say I had done a really hard (for me!) thing. I was so glad Ryan was with me that day. It was far less intimidating with him by my side! We ended up running a 5K together a few years later, but we haven't run a race together since! (I included a picture from each race.)

81. Host a Thanksgiving with both of your families.

Another cheat answer! We did host my family for Thanksgiving the year Mom was in the rehab hospital following her knee surgeries. And we hosted Ryan's family for Christmas the year his mom was in the rehab hospital after her brain surgery. (This is what happens when you live three houses from the hospital and your husband works there and is qualified to take people home on passes.) But as you may remember, our joint-family hosting always came with our annual Mommapalooza! We did about six of those, I think, in an attempt to gift all the mothers in our family with a no-cook Mother's Day! We love hosting, so ALL these were fun for us! (Pictures are from the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and two Mommapaloozas!)

89. Do a skydive or run for charity.

Ryan did skydive once - before we were married. :) And we already talked about running, but that Haiti Half 5K we ran (featured above) was for charity, actually! The entry fees raised money for health care in Haiti! 

94. Host a snowman building competition in your neighborhood.

We haven't hosted a competition, but back when we lived in Marion, we did build a snowman together during one of the Polar Vortex winters! It was so much fun! We named him Jeffrey. We also made snow angels and snow ice cream that day. It was a fun, proper snow day.

99. Host a Super Bowl Party.

We did this right before we moved away from Marion! We had some friends from church over and had a great time! And apparently we have NO photos of this night. At least not ones I can locate quickly! 

So there you go! Some of the bucket list things we've checked off. I have a few ideas of things from that list I want to try, so come back tomorrow, okay?