The Saturday Six

One.

I'm told that today is National Coffee Day! (I mean, isn't that EVERY day?) My sister sent me this link to some freebies, but I'm sure there will be more celebrations not listed here. Couldn't hurt to check your favorite coffee place!

Two.

Printables are good, often free ways to decorate. I found this link with several fall freebies on it. Might want to check it out if you need some fresh fall décor in your space!

Three.

I have no idea if there are tutorials for this anywhere, but I ran into this picture on Pinterest, and I think it is adorable! I have a similar board (minus the paper roll) in my office and use it ALL THE TIME. I think this is great!

Four.

A story to bring a surge of hope to your heart today.

Five.

I don't know if I have shared this link before or not...but even if I have, it bears repeating, I think. Freezer recipes you can make in a couple of hours, if you want to make food ahead for busy seasons, but here's what I like about it: these aren't 9x13 dishes. These are small portions, so if you cook for one or two, these could work for you!

Six.

Source

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh how I loved my book this week!!! A few weeks ago, my friend Marissa Shrock told me she had a new book releasing, and she asked if I'd like to read it. TWIST MY ARM!! :)

I've told you about Marissa many times before. I reviewed her three young adult fiction books (The Emancipation Warriors series) and then a few months ago, I introduced you to the first book in her new series, called the Georgia Rae Winston Mystery Series. Deadly Harvest was the first book, and now she's just released Deadly Holiday.

I really loved Georgia - and all the other characters, too - in Deadly Harvest, so I was excited to read about them again! I also love, as I told you last time, that this series is set in Indiana. I can so easily picture everything she writes about, even though she fictionalizes the locations.

If you missed the first book in the series, Georgia Rae Winston lives in Indiana, where she works on the family farm and wrestles with being single when she'd really just dearly love to be married. In Deadly Holiday, Georgia has started dating a young man, but this is really her first official relationship, and she's wrestling with figuring out the nuts and bolts of how such a relationship should work. (Again, kudos to Marissa for so accurately portraying those struggles! When do you start buying gifts for someone you just started dating? How soon do you invite them to family gatherings! Real life stuff, there!)

Georgia finds herself roped into helping with the church Christmas production, after the original music director is in a car accident and can't continue directing. The drama director of the event doesn't leave the title "drama director" at church, and her over-the-top approach to life wears Georgia out in the first ten minutes of working together.

As if that headache isn't enough, on her first day of being the substitute director, Georgia finds the church's youth pastor gravely ill. As he fights for life, he says the word anchor...and with that, he's gone. Georgia is determined to find out what he meant, because she's certain it will point to the person responsible for his death by poison.

Known as the town's amateur sleuth, after helping to solve a murder just a few months earlier, Georgia launches into her own investigation, and it's soon clear that someone is not happy to see her poking her nose in police business again. When the youth pastor's girlfriend disappears, it just fuels Georgia to find out the meaning behind anchor, Zach's death, and the mysterious absence of his girlfriend.

I will admit I stopped breathing several times while reading and did not put the book down until I had finished it. I did not figure it out (again!!!!) and loved all the twists and turns Marissa included!

This was a decidedly different kind of book than the little heartwarming, seaside Christmas book I read last week, but it was still a fantastic holiday read. (I don't think I've ever read a Christmas mystery before, actually!) There was a clear presentation of the Gospel, suspense, romance, and a healthy dose of real life, all tied up in one book. I really enjoyed it.

Well done, Marissa!

(Marissa sent me an e-copy of the book at no charge, but all opinions are my own!)

Things I Learned in September

IT IS THE END OF SEPTEMBER, PEOPLE! The end!! Has fall settled in where you are? Many of the farmers around here were able to plant early, so harvest is well underway, and the crops still in the fields are good and brown, so even though most of the leaves on the trees are still very green, it feels like full-blown fall. Our temps have been pleasantly cool over the past week, and the only thing that makes me sad is the loss of daylight at both ends of the day. Sure is hard to get up when it's super dark out!

September has been crazy busy for us. Our calendar was packed, but we had a (mostly) good month and learned a lot in the process. This coming week, we'll mark off another monthiversary and the sixth anniversary of our engagement. What a fun day that was! I'm excited to celebrate by watching the video again. Fourteen times. An hour.

But until then, here are a few things I learned in September! Happy weekend!

1. I retained more Spanish than I thought.

I took two years of Spanish in high school and two more in college. Both experiences were abysmal. (I don't throw that word around lightly.) I just never clicked with any of my teachers and could not seem to learn from them. But this month we had a Spanish-speaking pastor at our church for a Sunday, and while he obviously preached with the assistance of an interpreter, I discovered I recognized way more of what he said than I expected I would. I can still pretty much only ask where the bathroom is and count my steps to get there, but I understood more than I knew I would!


2. Speaking of Spanish, did you know you can translate Word documents to other languages?

The aforementioned Spanish-speaking pastor also attended the leadership conference where Ryan and I spoke. When I found out he was coming, I looked for software to translate documents so I could make him a copy of our talk in his own language. (I wasn't sure how easily his interpreter could translate for him in a setting like that.) That's when I learned you can translate right in Word. Who knew? Not me!


3. The Waffle House Index is a real thing.

You probably heard about it too (if you didn't already know) in the Hurricane Florence news. I had never heard of it before. So if you don't know either, here you go! (You can read an article about it here if you want more than this short summary.) If there's a natural disaster, FEMA and other disaster management services look to see how the local Waffle House is doing to gauge the health of the general neighborhood. If the Waffle House is open and serving a full menu, things must be going fairly well. If they're open with a limited menu, it means things are limping along. If they're closed...oh boy. Fascinating.


4. Deodorant does not belong in the freezer.

I bought some deodorant one day and the next day, I could not find it. Anywhere. We bought it on a grocery shopping trip, so I began looking through cupboards, just in case I filed it away with canned goods or spices or something. Turns out I'd put it in the freezer with a pie. Ohhhhhhhhhhhh, Bekah.


5. I like homemade bagels...of the clean eating variety.

Earlier this month, I decided to try the Dashing Dish bagel recipe. I admit I was skeptical when I first tried them, but I loved them. A keeper, for sure. Who knew oat flour could be such a winner? Also, in this same category, I learned you can purchase the bagel topping at the store! (I didn't own everything that goes in the "everything" bagel topping, so it was more cost effective to jut buy the mix.


6. There's a lever on the bottom of the Ninja to release the suction cups.

We have owned our Ninja for over a year now, and every time I use it, I scoot it to the front of the counter. Well, the other day, we had a spill around it, so Ryan moved it and washed the counter really well, and he immediately put the Ninja back before the counter had dried. When I tried to scoot it the next day, the suction cups were firmly stuck to the counter. For a week, I used it at the back of the counter, and one day Ryan saw me wrestling with it. He said, "You do know there's a lever under there that releases the suction don't you?"


7. There is a website where people give baby naming advice.

One of the people I follow on Instagram (she used to have a great blog but either made it private or took it down after having kids, so now I follow her on Instagram) just had a baby last week. She did a post about how they picked the baby's name and said she had written in to the Swistle blog to get help with the name because they struggled with it. I had never heard of said blog, so I looked it up. WOW! That is a lot of intense picking baby names! I found it rather interesting because I've always loved name lists. When I was a kid, I had a whole notebook of names for my "someday kids." When I worked in the Financial Aid office, a lot of names were ruined for me, so I figured if I ever did have kids, I'd have to name them really weird things to avoid flashbacks. Even though we don't have kids, I still love names, and this site is like name overload! If you love names, go check it out!

Learning Generosity

The Bible study I attend has a challenge for us each week. (You might remember the first one, because it excited me so. The one where I got to sleep in until my little eyes just popped open?)

This past week's challenge focused on generosity. Gulp.

I struggle with that sometimes. Okay. A lot of times. Ryan is one of the most generous people I've ever met, but I'm a bit more on the cautious side. When it comes to being generous with money, I think my hesitation stems from the years I lived from paycheck to paycheck. Who am I kidding? It was more like penny to penny.

Those were the years when I'd read advice about saving pocket change, and I wanted to shout, "What if you use your pocket change to pay bills?" Those were the years when my gas budget was so tight, I got to choose ONE out of town trip a month. (Out of town, by the way, was limited to about 50 miles, round-trip.) Those were the years when I never would have made it, had it not been for a roommate helping to shoulder the load. It wasn't that I didn't care about others. It was just that I had to be crazy frugal to keep my bills paid.

So it's good for me to be married to a guy with a giving heart, because he helps me see that I'm living in the now, not the used-to-be. While we're far from independently wealthy, he's helped me see that we can share what we do have.

But the place God really tugged on my heart this week was all about my time. Ryan and I make no secret of the fact that we try hard to protect our time together. Sure, we're still in honeymoon phase (yes, almost six years later) but it's more than that. We genuinely desire to make each other a priority so we can continue to foster a healthy relationship.

But in the generosity challenge, I found myself convicted to be generous with my own time this week. To put aside some of the things I really wanted to do (maybe even needed to do) to make time for others. And I also needed to be generous with Ryan's time. To allow him the freedom to do the things he felt called to do, even if those things didn't involve spending some of our normal together-time...together.

So I'm learning, slowly, about the generosity of time. It's a balance, I'm sure, to find the time we need together as a couple and the time we need to share with others. Because after all, our time together is still important. This relationship we have needs cultivated, protected, and prioritized. But sometimes others need us. And when those sometimes roll around, we have to be willing to look outward and be generous with our time.

The generosity lesson. Maybe it's time, maybe it's money, maybe it's something else entirely for you. Maybe it comes easily. Maybe it's the hardest thing. But we've been given much - of something - haven't we? And of that, much is required.

So I'll be over here, just learning more about how to be generous with what I have. With what we have. It's a good challenge, even if it's not as easy as sleeping in. ;)

Ten Things to Tell You...The Second

Last week I told you about this "ten things to tell you" thing I'd read on Instagram. I did the first one last week and am circling around now for number two.

This one initially terrified me, because it's one of those questions that (in answering) has the potential to leave out way too many people.

The prompt is this: Someone who has influenced me...

Gulp.

I mean, really! I have been influenced in so many ways by so many people over the last forty years. Teachers, mentors, friends, pastors, family members, co-workers...you name it. This post could go on for a hundred years, and still I wouldn't be able to name everyone.

But I remembered something I said at the Leadership Encounter last week, and I thought it might be a good (and true) (and much safer) answer to this question.

As you know, if you've been reading here for any length of time at all, I spent many years aching to be married. And I didn't just whine my way through those years. (Make no mistake: I did do my fair share of whining. But I also did MORE than whine.)

I was a serious student of marriage in those years. I believed it would happen for me one day, and while I waited, I wanted to learn. So I bought books about marriage and read them cover to cover. I listened to sermons about marriage and took pages of notes. I attended marriage conference at my church. I invested in learning everything I could, believing one day I would need that information.

But as I told the ladies at the Leadership Encounter, do you know who taught me the most about marriage?

Married women.

They didn't mentor me. We didn't have specific relationships in which I asked questions and they gave answers. I wasn't in a classroom. I just watched from my little perch in the distance. I watched how they treated their husbands. I listened to how they spoke to them. Even more importantly, I listened to how they spoke about them when they weren't together. I observed body language and reactions. I wanted to learn when no one was aware they were teaching, because that's when everything was the most genuine.

I learned so much.

I learned what to do and I learned what not to do. I learned that great marriages really can happen. I learned that great marriages take intentionality, but they don't have to be exhausting. I learned that great marriages are made of teammates who cheer each other on and are present in each others' lives. I learned that great marriages happen when both parties are willing to sacrifice for the other and not view it as a great sacrifice, because it's something they want to do out of sheer love. I learned that great marriages are made when two people are focused on serving God first and each other second (and with equal abandon.)

So who has influenced me? The wives. The wives who were married and real in front of me. The wives who gave me hope that this marriage thing could be a beautiful adventure. The wives who dared to be crazy in love and have a ton of fun with their husbands. The wives who showed me that tough times will come, but that just offers a chance to team up and tackle the toughness together. Thank you...all of you...who kept me hanging onto hope in all the years of waiting.

And I submit to you (married or not) that you are influencing someone around you right now. You may not know it, but somewhere, someone is observing. They're watching how you live, and you have the chance to give them so much hope.

Let's be hope-givers!

Dedication!

It's podcast Tuesday, and we have stories! (And what IS the proper etiquette for sharing tv episode spoilers on social media? We don't do it. We just wonder about the rules.)

 Listen here!

It was quite the celebratory weekend for Ryan's family. Yesterday I told you about his cousin's bridal shower, which was Saturday. Sunday, we went to church with all of his family so we could witness his nephew's baby dedication.


I found a nice little perch in the sound booth to get some pictures. :)

He was pretty alert! He likes to make sure he knows what's going on most of the time.

(Waiting for a fist bump, maybe?)

Ryan's mom sang to him:

After the dedication, the pastor preached a powerful, passionate sermon that will stick with me for a long time - maybe for always. I am grateful I was there to hear it!

And after church, they had a special dinner (which was full of goooooooooooooooood food) and some photo opps in front of a backdrop.

And then we came home to Miss Phoebe...who was mostly mad that she couldn't come with us in the first place. :)

Bridal Shower Buffet!

Ryan has a bunch of cousins, and one of them is getting married soon! (He has actually been in North Carolina working on rescue efforts for the last few days. He recently shared this link to an article, which is about a group his group worked with!)

But his fiancée has been a fun addition to the family, and she was honored at a bridal shower this past weekend. I wanted to tell you about the gift we gave her, because it was a little different!

Because marriage means so much to Ryan and me, and because we ache to see other couples dive in and make their relationship great and meaningful, we like to give gifts that foster that if we can! So for this shower, I gave the bride-to-be her own version of one of our favorite marriage traditions: an annual time capsule!

I used some of the posts I found on the Dating Divas website for a few of the printables, and I filled in the rest using the things Ryan and I have done with this tradition.

I put everything inside a little trunk (Hobby Lobby), which doubled nicely as gift wrap! (Please don't judge me for the lack of staging here...I really can do better!)

Here's a peek at the inside!

The capsule included glass bottles to hold letters from one anniversary to the next, envelopes for the next 25 years to keep the letters for posterity, and little question cards to spark ideas for conversation!

She loved it! (YAY!!!)

And I loved the bridal shower. It was a breakfast buffet, and it was so delicious. Ryan's family knows how to cook and throw a party!

A fun shower, a fun, theme, and a fun bride-to-be!

The Shafferland Shuffle

Hello, and happy Sunday! Hope you've had a good week! Ours has been quite the mix of highs and lows, as you will soon see. 

* Last Sunday was a really spectacular day at church...one of those days I won't forget for a long, long time. Still gives me goose bumps! (And then of course, last Sunday was also the day I found I'd put my deodorant in the freezer, so I was obviously not thinking clearly for every single moment of the day.) Ryan and I were both exhausted from our weekend of speaking, so we took lots of naps! 

* Monday morning I went to the hospital to sit with a friend before her surgery, and then Ryan and I went to a funeral that afternoon. Ryan's sister lost her mother-in-law in a really tragic accident, so we went to her service. 

* Because I'd been gone so much on Monday, I was really behind on office work, so I spent Tuesday trying to catch up! I did take a break to see Ryan to play cornhole at lunch (tournament at work) and then back to the office I went! That night we picked up dinner for my friend who had surgery and took it to her. We may or may not have stopped for a treat of our own on the way home. :) 

* I made salad on Wednesday and got to try my new Thieves veggie cleaner. Do any of you use this stuff? It's pretty great! We settled in that night to watch the AGT finale. It made me so nervous, I had to "watch" the end with my hands over my eyes. Too much pressure!

* I went to Bible study on Thursday...I'm learning so much from this group. I appreciate them! Ryan brought me a latte that night after his workout. Isn't he the nicest! All of us were tired that night...including Miss Braeya Jo Jo. (She had no workout to blame it on. She's just all cat.)

* Friday morning, before he left for work, Ryan said, "Hey, I can talk to you now!" I couldn't figure out what he meant...and then I saw the mug. Ha! It rained for a little that morning, and Ryan sent me this rainbow picture. I always miss rainbows. But he caught a good one! It cleared up pretty quickly, and that afternoon, Pheebs came to stay! She hasn't been over for a while!

* Yesterday was a busy day! Ryan worked and I went to his cousin's bridal shower. It was a nice shower, complete with a delicious breakfast bar! I got to see our little nephew, too, which was fun. Later in the day, we went to the viewing for our friend Mike, who passed away earlier this week. We took Pheebs for an evening walk, and then I made a big batch of chocolate chip cookies! 

So there you go! A quick peek at our Shafferland week!

The Saturday Six

One.

Of course I sold all my stamps a few years ago, but if I still had them, I have a feeling I'd be doing this project. SO. ADORABLE. (Plus I'm just a sucker for decorating with books.)

Two.

These people bought an old schoolhouse (turned into a house) and renovated it to take it closer to its original roots while still keeping it modern. My favorite part? They're the Shaffers. It was like reading about ourselves! :)

Three.

This is an important post about the dangers of getting our Bible-reading fill from Instagram. (Or any social media, really.) I encourage you to read through the comments, too, to get some additional insight from the author of the post (Jen Wilkin). She's not bashing the opportunity we have to share encouragement from Scripture, but she is warning us that those places offer limited opportunity to explore the whole scope of those Scripture passages. It's good to be reminded to actually get into the Word to study and not just snack on social media.

Four.

A few weeks ago, I shared with you about a special friend of ours that left quite an impact on my life. He passed away this week, and in his honor, I wanted to share that post again. If you missed it the first time or just need a refresher, take a read! (P.S. - He read that post after I shared it the first time, and the next time we went to visit, he told me I shouldn't be such a liar. I'm not a liar. Every word was true, and he continued to live it.)

Five.

Have scrap wood and some chalkboard paint? Check out this fun, free toy idea. This. Is. Genius.

Six.

Source

Guess who had time to read a book this week? THIS GIRL!!!! I saw this one on the soon-to-be-released list a few weeks ago and knew right away I wanted to read it. It won't be hard for you to figure out why.

* It's called A Christmas by the Sea. I mean that right there should tell you why I found it to be a winner, right?

* I'm craving (CRAVINNNNNNNNG) the start of Christmas movie season on Hallmark. So the chance to read a book that's basically the printed version of the aforementioned movies? Obviously.

* It's a busy week, but with less than 200 pages in this novel, I gobbled it up in just a few hours!

* I'd read Melody Carlson before: this is actually the third year I've read one of her Christmas books. She's consistent in her feel-good fiction.

A Christmas by the Sea held true to what I've come to expect from (and love about) Melody Carlson. Her books are always really fun, easy reads that take me to the happiest of all the places. If you're looking for breathtaking suspense or a twisty plot, this isn't the book for you. But if you just need to escape to a warm and friendly place with lovable characters, Melody's your author!

In this book, Wendy Harper and her 12 year old son, Jackson, are headed from their home in Ohio to Seaside, Maine, to take a look at the cottage Wendy inherited from her late grandfather. Though she used to spend summers at the cottage with her grandparents when she was a little girl, she's not been there in many years and has no idea what to expect from the little cottage. Jackson is convinced this trip will be permanent and they'll never leave the coast. Wendy forces herself to be a responsible adult, aware that they must sell the cottage to pay for the unending medical costs left from her late husband's illness.

Wendy and Jackson arrive just before Thanksgiving to find that the cottage isn't quite as dilapidated as Wendy feared, and Seaside has come a long way from the dying town she remembers.

As Wendy dives in to try to update the cottage with the intent to sell it for the highest price, Jackson dives in to life in Seaside.

I quickly fell in love with the town of Seaside, the beach cottage (of course), and the residents of the little town. I loved Wendy and her son (whose personality reminded me of all the stories I've heard about Ryan as a kid). And after reading, I'm ready for Christmas!

** Revell provided a complimentary copy of this book to me. All opinions are my own!  **

Little Bit of Bragging.

Yesterday was fun! I enjoyed reading your thoughts on those! :) Glad to know I have some kindred spirits out there.

I fully intended to have something of profound value for you today, but alas, I got sucked into scrapbooking yesterday, so I realized about 9:30 that I hadn't even started thinking about a post for today. WHOOPSIE!!!!

I'm working on our vacation album and am thoroughly enjoying reliving those very fun days. Ryan's a fun travel companion - you know that? He makes every single day of a trip so much fun.

And as I thought about that, I realized that's what I want to talk about here today. Just a little bit of bragging on my love.

Yesterday, Ryan's mom had lunch with us at our house. It may not have been my finest hostessing moment. I had been at a Bible study that ended up getting out late, and as I scurried home to try to throw together the rest of our lunch, Ryan texted to say she'd be joining us. We had plenty of food and I was happy to have her, but I hadn't wrangled together a dessert yet, and the delay in getting home meant dessert would just have to be (as Ryan always says) "a sugar packet or two."

I rushed around to boil water for pasta (for Ryan) and pierced a spaghetti squash to cook it (for me). The water on the stove boiled over - twice - and I burned my fingers on the squash. I was a sweaty, rushing mess by the time the two of them walked in the door, but let the record show, the food was tasty.

Anyway.

As I rushed around putting things on the table, Ryan said to me, "You look nice today." Well, that is a true statement, compared to the bed-head mess I was when he left for work! :) But that aside, I loved it that he threw a compliment my way right in front of his mom. Made me feel very loved. And he's good at doing that all the time, whether or not anyone else is listening or watching.

He went to the gym last night, and took time to text me to congratulate me on my run, even while he was focusing on his own workout.

Before he came home, he stopped at Starbucks to pick up half price lattes for us, because he knows my love language is coffee. (And donuts. And sleeping. And dates....but I digress.)

(Do I even need to say he was in park in a parking lot for this picture? Probably.)

He cleaned up the kitchen after dinner...something he does almost every single night. He says I do all the meal planning and prep, so he should have to clean up. (In truth? He just knows dishes aren't my favorite and he loves me by doing them for me.)

While he worked on cleanup, I worked on our scrapbook some more, and I realized how many times on our trip he grabbed his phone (or the big camera) to capture moments of me enjoying something so I can be part of the pictures on the pages too. Every now and then I'll specifically ask him to take a picture, but most of the time (vacation or no vacation) he doesn't wait to be asked. He just notices that a photo-worthy moment is taking place, and he makes sure it's captured.

I am so very grateful for his heart for me, for others, and for the Lord. (And not in that order.) I appreciate all the things he thinks to do and say, and if I could put together a class for him to teach these sorts of things to others, you can absolutely know I would. He leads well, and I don't take him for granted.

Thank you, Ryan, for being YOU! I love you!

10 Things to Tell You...The First

I've been watching my friend Leslie do these "10 Things to Tell You" posts on Instagram, and they intrigued me! So I thought I might do some or all of them on here. I'm always looking for ideas to foster new avenues of creativity in my little brain.

So the prompt for the first item on this list is this: I grew up...

(Well, I think it's obviously highly questionable that I've grown up at all, but I digress.)

I grew up...out in the country, without a bunch of kids my age living close at hand. We didn't have cable either, so I was forced to foster my own forms of creativity. I'll admit I didn't always appreciate it, which is probably typical for kids. But I can look back now and appreciate all I learned to do in the absence of technology. (And if we had kids, you can bet your bottom dollar they'd be learning to foster their own creativity too!) I am a better person today because I had to make my own fun back then!

I grew up...reading books faster than I could check them out of the library or buy them at the bookstore. I brought home stacks and stacks of books from everywhere and devoured them. The Babysitters Club, Sweet Valley Twins, Mandie, The Journals of Corrie Belle Hollister...I read all the series of books and wanted to be most of the characters in the books.

I grew up...taking the mom role super seriously. I had dolls and diaper bags and car seats and clothes, and those babies were my babies. My "husband" was always my current crush, and we parented those baby dolls thoroughly. (Read: I parented thoroughly and filled in the script with the appropriate words for the crush of the hour.)

I grew up...with the most fertile cats on the entire planet. We had litters of kittens all the time, and don't worry - we always found homes for them. (Living around a bunch of farms has its benefits.) I loved my little kitties and would sneak them into my room whenever I thought my mom wasn't looking. I always picked the quietest ones to bring in to maximize the contraband visits.

I grew up...playing teacher. I wanted to be a teacher when I grew up, and I would play with all the leftover worksheets my mom would bring home from her classroom at the end of the year. I used our tall kitchen trash can (with its lid) as my teaching podium, and I had the most educated dolls in the entire county.

I grew up...obsessed with Little House on the Prairie. But then, you knew that, didn't you? I was the nerd who could name all the episodes by heart!

I grew up...taking piano lessons and entered adulthood a piano failure. Both my sisters are amazing at a keyboard. I...well, I owe my parents a lot of reimbursement money for lessons.

I grew up...without central air, and it was the deep longing of my heart to one day have it. At the age of 38, my wish came true. LOL!! Our house had an air conditioning unit installed in the wall of the main part of the house, but it never quite meandered its way to my room. My broken internal thermostat began early, so I pretty much sweat my way through the 80s. (Degrees and years.)

I grew up...longing to be a singer. Sandi Patty, specifically. It didn't happen, but I can do a mean lip sync into a curling iron. Oh yes I can.

So for a girl who really never grew up at all, there are a few fun facts about life when I grew up!

How about you? Any fun facts from when you grew up?

Legacies

We seem to be living in a season of goodbye right now. So many of our friends and family grieve losses right now, and we hurt with them. If these things happen in threes, as they say, we seem to be experiencing them in multiples of three.

Yesterday marked thirty years since my little nephew was stillborn, and I spent the day remembering his life and the way God molded, shaped, and marked me through his birth and death. It's amazing to me how something that happened to me when I was so young could change me so powerfully for all time.

And Monday, we went to a funeral. We go to a lot of viewings (apparently training to become my parents, because they go to more of those than anyone I know) but we don't often get to go to a funeral service because of Ryan's work schedule. But Ryan's sister lost her mother-in-law, and we went to the funeral service Monday afternoon.

Mary's death was so unexpected - a tragic accident no one could have anticipated. I sat in the service and listened to the words spoken about her life and the legacy she left behind, and it made me think about the legacy I'm building now with the days I live. Am I taking it seriously enough? Am I investing in others and living intentionally? Am I pointing to Jesus?

Ryan and I had a long talk about it on the drive home, because we both felt the fresh weight of those questions. We took a hard look at the things we do and say, not only to each other, but to all those around us, and hoped those words and deeds not only show love, but show the love of Jesus.

(Last year, actually, I felt a fresh urgency to make sure I clearly present the Gospel message whenever I speak. I take for granted that speaking at church retreats means people know Jesus. Most do, but possibly not all. I don't want them to leave without learning about Him!)

So this is our sincere prayer for our lives. We want to live and leave a legacy that points to the Lord. Certainly we want to live a good long life and grow old together, but should anything happen to either of us, we hope the words spoken at that service show a legacy of love for Jesus and others.

We hope this isn't a season of goodbye for you right now, but it's always a good time to consider the impact of your life on those you love. Leave a beautiful legacy, my friends!!

(And as always, David Phelps has a song for just such an occasion...if you've not heard it, you can catch it here.)

Thirty Years Ago

It's podcast Tuesday! Here are our stories for you this week:

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Today is also a significant and sentimental day for me...for all of us in our family. Thirty years ago today, we said hello and goodbye, all in one breath, to my little nephew, Kirk. Today I honor him with these words, which I wrote as an 8th grader for a class project. It's not my most polished writing, but it is my most treasured writing. These memories I preserved as a teenager have faded from my mind with the passing of time. Had I not stopped to intentionally capture them, I fear I would not remember so much of this life-changing day. 

I share my words with you in honor of a little life that forever marked mine. Happy birthday, Kirk. My heart still misses and loves you. 

***

          No one makes a sound in the surgical waiting room. The sun hasn't come up yet, and I am squirming on the couch. No one in my family is talking. I don't understand. We came here because my sister is having a baby. That's a happy reason, right? So why is everybody just sitting and staring?

          Jeff said that they'd taken Lori to surgery. So that means it won't be long until the baby's born, right? In just a little while, I'll have either a niece or a nephew. Then I'll finally be an aunt!

          I look at the bag I've lugged with me. I was so excited yesterday when I packed it. Mom said it wouldn't be long until the baby was born, so I wanted to be ready. She never told me this could happen in the middle of the night. I'm too tired to look at the things I brought with me, but I'm too excited to sleep.

          Another family had been in here with us, but they left a few minutes ago. I'm glad. Their daughter was in a wreck, and they were upset. I feel bad for them, but we're here for a happy reason. I don't want to be sad in here.

          Mom's leaving now. Where is she going? She might miss something! What if the doctor comes? Oh. She's only going to the bathroom. She'd better hurry. Why is this taking so long?

          A man is walking in now. He doesn't look happy. Maybe he's tired. Or maybe he came to see the family that left. No. He's coming over here. Who is he? He's walking over to my brother-in-law.

          "Lori's fine, but we lost the baby."

          I'm confused. Who is this man? What does he mean, "lost the baby?" How can you lose a baby? I watch Jeff closely. He's just sitting there with his chin resting in one hand. He's staring at the chair across from him. What's happening?

          WAIT!

          No! I understand now! NO!! They lost the baby! The baby died! No, no, NO! The man is leaving. Where is he going? He can't just come in here, tell us our baby died, and leave. Come back here!

          My other sister is crying. Crying. That's what you're supposed to do when somebody dies. Cry. They'll think there is something wrong with me if I don't cry. I need to cry. Why can't I cry?

          I bury my head in my dad's shirt and pretend to cry. Maybe if nobody sees my face, they'll think I'm really crying. They won't see that I'm not crying real tears. I try to make myself cry for real. It's working. The tears are starting to come now. They're coming fast.

          Dad's getting up. He's going to the hallway. Why? Oh. Mom is still gone. He's trying to get to her. My sister follows him. I follow, too. Mom comes out of the bathroom.

          "What's wrong?" She sounds scared when she talks. That scares me. I'm crying hard now. I can't stop. Julie and I both cry. The four of us are standing in the middle of the hallway, holding onto each other, crying.

          We got back to the waiting room. Jeff is still sitting in the chair. He doesn't talk. He doesn't pace. He doesn't cry. He just sits. Julie curls up on the couch with the blanket she was crocheting for the baby. She's still crying.

          Somehow I find out it's a boy. Those words are supposed to be happy words, but they're not to us. They're just words. Just like, "It's raining."

          "It's a boy."

          How did he die? He was fine just a while ago.

          They tell me his cord was "kinked." It cut off his air supply. It happened right before the c-section. What's a cord? What's kinked? What's a c-section? I know these words. Why don't they make sense? How do we know all this? Did the man tell us before he left? I didn't hear it.

          We go upstairs. They're going to show us the baby. But he's dead. I don't want to see a dead baby, do I? We have to sit outside Loris' room while she and Jeff see him first. Where is the baby?

          A very tall nurse comes down the hall. She's walking fast, like she's going to start running. She's carrying something in a blanket. What is it? It can't be a baby. You don't walk fast with a baby. You don't hold him like a football. You use both hands and walk slowly. She pushes the door open and disappears inside. When are they bringing the baby? She comes back out with nothing in her hands. That was the baby.

          They call us inside. Lori's lying in bed looking sleepy. She's not crying either. She's just lying there. Everybody holds him. I'm in the way. I look for a place to sit. There is none. Jeff is sitting in a chair. He tells me to sit on his knee. I do.

          It's my turn to hold the baby. He's big. His head lays next to my elbow. His feet go all the way to my other elbow. He's heavy. Most of his head is covered with a blue knit cap. His hair is wet and matted, and I see a little blood on it. His eyes are closed; he just looks like he's asleep. His face is so white, and so is his chest and the arm that lays across it. The blanket has fallen away a little, and I can see faint, tiny bruises on his neck. They tell me they're from doing CPR. His lips are kind of bluish. He feels warm through the blanket, but I'm not sure.

          I've never touched anyone who's died before. He's really cute. He just looks like a sleeping baby, except for his blue lips.

          Today is Friday. He died five days ago. They're going to have a funeral for him today. I wonder how tiny he'll look in that great big casket. He seemed big when I held him at the hospital, but I bet he'll look tiny today.

          They've put him in a little side room of the church. I go in. Where is he? I don't see a casket. Oh — there! That's a casket? It looks like a cooler. It's so little. I didn't know they made them that little. There's a blanket draped inside. It's yellow and green. It's the one Julie made for him. They're going to bury him with it. There's a little blue stuffed bear in the corner. I bought that for him. They are going to bury that with him, too. They bought a christening gown for him. I'm not so sure about a boy in a dress. What if people think he's a girl?

          Lori and Jeff are standing beside him. Everybody in the room is crying. Who are all these people? They must be Jeff's relatives. I don't know them. I don't want them looking at me. This is my nephew. Don't they know that? Lori tells me to come stand beside her. I do.

          He looks so different now. His hair isn't wet anymore. The blood is gone. His hair looks soft. It's light brown. His lips aren't blue anymore. They're dark red. He's so light skinned. His hands are clenched in tiny baby fists. Lori lifts up the hem of the gown so I can see how big his feet are. Compared to the rest of him, his feet are huge. But he still just looks so breakable.

          Lori says to touch him. I don't want to touch him. He looks so cold. I touch him anyway. He is cold. I pull back. I don't want to feel the cold anymore. I start to cry. I cry and cry. My face is all hot and wet, but I can't stop crying. It seems real now. He's cold, and he looks just like a baby doll. He doesn't look like a sleeping baby anymore. He just looks like a baby doll.

          The funeral is long. Julie and I sit together. We cry during the whole thing. The people sing about being near to the heart of God. It's a sad song. The preacher says the baby's in a better place. I know that, but I wish he could be here with us. We're still crying. People are staring at us, but I don't care. We are sad. Don't they understand that?

          We go to the cemetery. They put the little box on the ground. A little metal plaque has been hammered into the ground. It says Geoffrey Kirk Blackburn. September 18, 1988.

          Something's different here. Everybody's still sad. I'm not crying anymore. Why is that? I'm still supposed to be crying. I poke my mom. The funeral director tells me to stop. She's praying. I don't want him to tell me what to do. I want to talk to my mom.