The group of girls I meet with for Bible study every other week kicked off
a new season of study this past Monday. I’m helping lead this semester again,
and I’m so excited for our study. We’re doing John Mark Comer’s book Practicing
The Way, and I’m learning so much already! (Bonus: Ryan and I are also
studying it together on our own time, and it’s providing a lot of wonderful conversation
for us!
The
assignment I was given for the two weeks following the first meeting? To make
time each day to simply be with Jesus.
And
for a girl who has studied and written about being still, I’m embarrassingly
terrible at this.
It
turns out that I am not good aside from an agenda. I can sit still with God,
yes. But I feel the need to talk to Him. Or read something. Or think about
something specific relating to my relationship with Him. But to just sit
and be?
Not
great at it.
So
far in this first week, I got nervous and turned on music. I fell asleep. I
started talking. I started talking again. I had to pace. There were probably
more things that I’ve forgotten (or blocked out) that kept me from simply being.
But
the few times I did successfully just sit quietly with the Lord without an
agenda, without a project, and without an expectation, I found to be the sweetest
moments. A few moments here and there that I hope will grow into more and more
moments each day. Longer stretches of time with greater ability to be still,
and know that He is God.
I
remind myself that just as I love being in the same room with Ryan, even if we
aren’t having a productive conversation or accomplishing anything at all…God
loves for me to show up to just be with Him. I am thankful for that. And
I will keep showing up, hoping to learn in new, fresh ways how to simply…be.
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