Making the Dream Wonderful

I have now been away from the world of Financial Aid for as long as I worked in it. (That is...if you don't count my student worker years. If you count those, I still have a few more years to go before I can say that.) For eleven years after college, I worked as a Financial Aid Counselor, and there were certainly things about that job that didn't come naturally to me at all. I would even go so far to say that I was not great at some aspects of the job. 

But one thing that I tried hard to be great at in that role was walking alongside parents and students who were overwhelmed at the idea of figuring out how to pay for college and trying to make that world understandable for them. I tried using stories, analogies, repetition, and just good, old-fashioned kindness and listening to meet them wherever they were and make it feel less daunting for them. Paying for college is not fun. But I really wanted to make it as great of an experience as I could. 

I hope I did that well. I guess you'd have to ask the people I served, but that was always my goal, and I hope I succeeded. I do remember one sweet mom I had. Her two equally sweet daughters came through the school while I worked there, and she was a widow. I could tell that these conversations would have been in her husband's wheelhouse, but they overwhelmed her. She and I spent a lot of time talking on the phone, emailing, and visiting in person whenever she was on campus. And when the younger daughter graduated, the mom wrote me the sweetest note about how grateful she was that I had been there to walk her through that part of her life. I still have that note, and her affirmation meant a lot to me. It gave me hope that maybe I really did do something right in that convoluted world of math and regulations.

Since Ryan and I purchased this home, I have often wished that the builder in charge of the house would have someone on staff with a goal like that. 

You might remember a few months ago, I told you that when we were first married, we had a dream of building a house together. We had some land that Ryan owned before we got married, and we were going to build there. We even went to look at a model home and determined THAT would be our house on this land. Then we learned that zoning laws had changed, and we couldn't build there. It was a joy for us to find this house because it reminded us so much of the floor plan we had picked out and loved. It was like we got to build a home without the headaches we've heard about in choosing fixtures and colors and such. 

But if I could name anything that has put a damper on the dream of owning a new home and getting to realize that dream-come-true experience, it has been the builder.

I like to think that Ryan and I are relatively intelligent people. We've done a good job of making home improvements on each house we've ever owned, but this one has made question our sanity (somewhat) and just how much we actually do know about life. 

The yard-growing nightmare has been a big part of that. We wish we would have known whether or not we really had the option to push back on when the grass was planted. We see now that we were 100% set up to fail with having a yard planted at the onset of the heat of summer. (Add in a drought and extra heat, and it's REALLY not good.) We also didn't realize that the amount of water needed for grass growth is actually detrimental to plant growth, so we lost about half the landscaping package they put in. (And some of what survived gave us a run for our money.) 

We did question some of the land grading done in the backyard, but they didn't listen, and now it has to be fixed.

I don't want to misrepresent, here. We do bring these things up, and they are being slowly remedied. The things that are not yet fixed are on their list, and we know that. But I've told Ryan more than once that I wish I knew how to accurately convey to them that this isn't just a checklist to us. I know they build lots of homes and have lists all over the place of owners in varying stages of home completion. But for us - and I would dare say for the other owners too - this is about a life experience.

For us, this is probably the only time we will ever live in a brand new house. This is the only time we'll get to experience the exhilaration of everything being new and creating it to be our own. And it's so hard to do that when it feels overwhelming and confusing. 

I'm picking on the builder here a bit because it's the example I'm making, but it's really true of any job any of us have. When you do something every day, it's common for you. It may not be easy, but it's common. You get it. You can talk about it in your sleep. You know the answers. It makes sense.

But for someone who is new to it all, it's not common. It's overwhelming...and maybe not in a bad way! I'm overwhelmed, but I want it to be wonderful. I want it be a good dream and not a nightmare. I want to learn and understand. But I need someone to listen and care and realize that this was a dream I brought in, not a checklist to be completed.

I've tried to do this in all the jobs I've worked, not just Financial Aid. I tried to do it at the radio station, too. When I prepped guests who had never been on the air and were nervous about it, I tried to spend extra time with them, explaining to them what it would be like so they could fully enjoy the experience instead of dreading it. 

So to the workers helping parents pay for college, to the radio producers prepping guests for interviews, to the builders working with homeowners who want to have a magnificent new-home experience, and to all the other employees out there working in any realm...your work may be common to you, but it's uncommon to those you serve. Whether it's a dream they're enjoying or a nightmare they're trying to survive, you have the opportunity to make it the best for them that it can be. I hope you'll do it!