We Did It!

Crown complete! 

Thank you SO MUCH for sending encouraging notes yesterday; I definitely felt very covered in prayer throughout my dental adventures. 

The nerves were hitting fast and furious yesterday morning when I woke up. I sat on the couch with Ryan for a little bit and he was so kind and encouraging to me. (I shared this really awful-quality photo on Instagram last night, so I'll share it here, too.)

It's a terrible picture in every way, but I love what it represents. This is what 111 months of marriage is all about: being able to wake up with the one you love - and who loves you, even if you're terrified and melting down over a crown.

I decided not to do sedation, because I really wanted to try to power through without it. But he wanted me to have the option for panic-assistance if I needed it, so he packed his laptop and came with me to the dentist. 

(We did parking lot selfies before we went inside.)

I started crying the MOMENT I got inside, so by the time the nice dental lady came to get me, I was a disaster. She said she was going to ask how I was doing, but she had a feeling she already knew. ;) She was SO kind and talked with me for a long time before they started. She wanted to know all my fears and how they could help make it a better experience for me. (ummmmm not do it??)

She offered to tell me everything ahead of time if I wanted, but I decided that might be TOO much. So they landed on just telling me what I would feel next as we went through the procedure, and that was just right. They also heard my fears about the gag reflex and my jaw locking open. (I don't know if I mentioned that one yesterday, but that did actually happen to me once, and it was awful.)

I took this to send to Ryan right before they started.

The dentist was so kind to me. (He's had to work on me before. Bless him.) He told me if I needed him to get out, I should just hold up my hand and he'd stop so I could have a break. And several times throughout, he patted my shoulder and told me I was doing great. I told him he was a liar, but I also told him I appreciated the lies and to keep them coming. 

I was super nervous at the start because I wasn't sure my mouth was numb ENOUGH. It was numb, but I could feel an awful lot of my cheek and that didn't seem right. But he said I should be good. I told him I'd let him know if it wasn't true. Ha! It ended up being fine, thankfully.

Oh! And there was one game-changing detail that I was thrilled about. It was not the very back tooth. It was the one next to the back. I don't know if I heard the assistant say "a" back tooth and heard "the" back tooth or what, but I really didn't care. What mattered was that being one tooth up meant I didn't have to crack my jaw open quite as wide, nor was it as tough on my gag reflex, and both of those things were HUGE. So I was really grateful.

About a minute in, I held up my hand to kick them out, and they did get right out. I breathed through it and then sternly lectured myself that if I could just be brave and hold on, they could get done faster. And that ended up being the only time I had to make them leave. I was gripping the chair for dear life and shaking violently the entire time, but I got through it. (I was also full-on crying the entire time. I had tears in my ears.) 

I was pleasantly surprised that it didn't take as long as I thought it would - or even as they estimated. And the drilling/deep work part really reminded me a lot of a filling. I don't know if maybe I have had some intense fillings or what, but it didn't seem that much more drastic for me than fillings I've had. 

So they got it done, though I will have to go back in a couple of weeks to replace the temporary one from today with a permanent one.

After I finished up, Ryan took me out to eat. (It was 2:30 by then and we hadn't eaten yet. Nerves took over for me.) We had BBQ and he may or may not have laughed at my wonky smile and straw skills. 

SO good. 

We came back and resumed working, and I really felt pretty good the rest of the day. My jaw is sore, but no tooth pain! 

Ryan, thank you for loving me so well yesterday. Thanks for not telling me to just get over it when I was scared. Thanks for going with me and sitting in the waiting room. It made all the difference to me just to know you were there if I couldn't do it anymore and needed you to sit beside me. Thanks for taking me out for our monthiversary lunch and loving me - lopsided smile and all. Thank you for going back out last night to get me some soup.

I have loved these 111 months with you!

Now. Let's go sing Crown Him with Many Crowns!  ;)