Circling Back to Dreams

 Last night I was hunting for something in a journal I used to write in periodically. It was my dreaming journal, and I was looking for something specific in it. Not surprisingly, I got sidetracked and didn't ever find what I originally looked for. But I did find something that sparked my soul, so I'll share it with you today. Maybe it will give you some hope for your own dreams!

Whenever I look at old journals, one of my favorite things to do is look at this same day in an earlier year to see what was happening in my heart. Well, I didn't happen to write in this particular journal on July 27, 2000, but I did write in it on July 22, 2000. 

And on that day, my name twin got married.

Didn't know I had a name twin, did you? 

I did! 

I met her my first week of college. It started when I went to the table in the student center commons to pick up my student ID card. It wasn't there. They asked if I'd had my picture taken for it, and I assured them that (being the consummate rule follower that I am...) I had checked off every single box on my new student orientation list, including having my photo taken for an ID. 

Turns out they gave my card to the wrong person.

Namely...(see what I did there?)...another freshman named Rebecca Freeman.

Indeed. In that great sea of students on campus, there were two freshmen with almost matching names: Rebekah Freelan and Rebecca Freeman. More than once, throughout our four years of school, we got each other's mail and phone calls. We actually became friends because of our easy-to-mix-up names. 

We didn't look a thing alike, mind you. She was petite and adorable with blonde hair and a beautiful voice. She had grown up on the mission field and was new to the States. Ironically, we chose to attend the same church, and I often gave her a ride, since she didn't own a car. 

And in 2000, she married this tall and handsome man who was her perfect match in every way. They were absolutely one of those couples that made total sense to everyone. They both had a deep desire to serve the Lord in full time ministry and were devoted to Him and each other. 

And on their wedding day, I sat in the cloud of witnesses, watching my friend marry her love in this beautifully God-ordained ceremony. 

In my dreaming journal, I wrote, "Theirs is a love based first in You, God." And while I had been boy-crazy and praying for a husband for about fifteen years at that point, there was something about that wedding that created new dreams in my heart and a renewed passion to pray for this very kind of love.

I wrote in my journal that day that I cried at the wedding - out of happiness for my friend and brokenness for myself, because I had no idea how much longer I would have to wait to receive an answer to this prayer.

Reading those words last night reminded me how deep that burden sank for me. It was a difficult thing for me to carry because I longed so deeply. Maybe you've longed deeply for something and know how it can consume you at times.

But the words at the end of my entry brought such joy to my heart as I thought about God's answers, which I now know!

I wrote, "God, I dream of such a love. I dream of walking down the aisle on my wedding day, watching the love of my life smiling at me. I dream of hearing love in his voice, feeling love on his hands and knowing that Your design of true love is the only way."

And then I thought of these moments:

Walking down the aisle that day...twelve and a half years after my dream, and seeing that very smile on his face. (No one got pictures of him as I walked down the aisle, so I've chosen another photo below...)

The moment he turned around at the first look. THIS.

And indeed I did hear love in his voice...in the song he had recorded to sing me down the aisle and in every word of his vows.

And I felt love on his hands as he placed the ring on my finger and held my hand all the way through our ceremony:

Those dreams came true...every one of them and more. I mean, who knew I would get this gorgeous cathedral for a wedding venue??

Dream, my friends. Be honest about your hurts and disappointment, but dream with God. He can do so much more than you can EVER ask or imagine. 

He did for my name twin.

He did for me.

He will for you!