The Push and Pull

There's an Instagram account I follow and enjoy reading: Bryarton Farm. The Instagrammer and her husband are in the process of adopting internationally, and they've had a lot obstacles to overcome in recent days. They're overwhelmed, understandably, and she stopped posting as much as she had been, while she gathered her thoughts and protected her family's emotions. 

Apparently she started getting unkind messages from people who were upset that she wasn't keeping the world in the loop at all times. She posted a reminder that her account is just a place where she shares what she hope will encourage others, not an obligation to update the world. 

And boy isn't that the truth?!? Have you read comment threads lately - on any social media forum? People presume bloggers and Instagrammers owe them all the details of every day. They presume they can ask any question and they deserve an answer.

I loved what Sara Jo of Bryarton Farm wrote in a subsequent post:

"In the 1800s there was no social media, but a woman could pour her heart out in the pages of her diary. Every thought, however silly or serious, could be released. Every emotion therapeutically explored with her quill and ink. She could be utterly herself in the pages of her personal story and no one could judge her or idolize her based on her expressions. 

"Today, we have thrown out the diaries for the most part. Now we treat social media as our place to process our stories. In some ways, it's a gift to be able to share our hearts and lives with the world. So much good can come from it. What a time to be alive! But when we choose to keep something to our selves after opening that door it can be difficult. Where does the boundary lie?

..."Whatever you are going through in the pages of your story, I hope you turn to the Author of all HIStory. We can get lost in the modern day pressure to share every detail, answer every email, respond to every text, voicemail, private message, and comment on social media..."

Yes.

I am so grateful for this blog. I am grateful for the things I have learned from reading blogs. I am grateful for what I have learned from you who have shared with me in some of those very methods Sara Jo referenced: emails, texts, voicemails, private messages, and comments. I enjoy sharing with you pieces of our life, but like Sara Jo, I have felt a need to pull back on sharing as much as I used to. The boundary line changed for me. 

I wondered if you would continue to read if the blog looked less like a daily diary and more like the thoughts of my heart. I submitted those concerns to the Lord and didn't look back. If everyone stopped reading, it would still be okay. I would still be grateful for the years I was able to blog and the the things I learned from the people I met. I could still write - just not for an audience.

I am grateful you're still here and reading, even if there aren't as many trivial daily posts. But I say all of this to say this...let's all take a moment to remember that the people whose accounts we read are real people. This world is a rapidly changing place. Things that felt safe - even things that WERE safe - not that long ago may no longer be safe. It's okay for people to draw boundary lines. It's okay for parents to decide they don't want to share every detail about their children. It's okay for stories to be told in part rather than in full. 

We don't have to know it all. Sure, I've gotten caught up in Sara Jo's story. Sure I wonder where they are in the process now and what's happening. But it's her life and her story to tell in her time. In the meantime, while she waits and processes, I appreciate the posts she does share. The beautiful photography. The sweet photos of her farm. The photo descriptions she writes at the end of every post, because (as I learned from her) it allows the visually impaired to hear an audio description of the photos they can't see. 

This post feels a bit disjointed to me (which sort of matches my day) but I hope you've caught the spirit of my heart. This online world is a push and pull of beautiful blessings and difficult dilemmas. Let's be the readers who give grace. Let's push these corners of the web toward a delightful place to be, not places of contention and dissension.