Little Love Showers

One of the things we hear often from many of you is that you appreciate how intentional we try to be toward one another and toward life. That makes us happy to hear, because we do try to be intentional, and if you can see it happening, then we must be doing something right!

The decision to be intentional was one we made before we ever got married. We realized it was important to pause and find ways to show tangible love to each other. We know it's easy to get lazy and think it's obvious the other knows we love, so we would be purposeful to display that love.

Sometimes we do that in big ways. That's the reason we're intentional about our getaways, even though it's just the two of us at home. Taking time to get out of our routine and travel to see sights and meet people? That's one way we show love.

But I'm a firm believer that sometimes love is shown best in the littles love showers. Not in the cruises. Not in the anniversary gifts. Not in fancy dinners.

Little stuff.

Ryan is really good at this, and I want to brag on him for it today. I also want to encourage you husbands who hang out here on this blog to reach out with little love showers for your wife. The way you show love may look different, because she may not like any of the same things I do. But let me show you some of the things Ryan has done lately to show love in little ways that seem so huge in my mind.

He understands that memory-making is so important to me, and he helps me do it. I love this photo that Jason Graves took during my last speaking event. Ryan had sneaked away from his Power Point job to get some pictures of me speaking. I love it that in the photo essay of our marriage, I get to be represented (in more than selfies!) because Ryan makes a point to take pictures too.

He gives me cooking breaks. I'm the resident chef of Shafferland. I love to cook, I have the time to do it, and it's one of the ways I get to show love to Ryan. But almost every single Sunday, he takes time to put together a meal for us. It doesn't matter to me if he's grilling or warming up leftovers; it's a treat to get to hang out on the couch and have my plate delivered to me! (But he really is fantastic at the grilling, and I love it when he makes our meals that way.)

He makes time to go on walks with me. These last several months have been demanding of our time, and we really haven't had a lot of down-time to spend together. The longer we go without that, the more we see the absolute value IN it and the more we crave it. I'm grateful for the times he suggests we take the time we do have and head out for a walk. (That's also been a bit more challenging this year because of the rain!)

He's kind about my needs, even when they differ from his. I'm not sure I've ever met another adult with as much unending energy as Ryan has. We've been trucking along at a hundred miles an hour for about the last seven months, and while we are both exhausted, he powers through better than I do. I need little breaks to rejuvenate so I can move ahead again. This last weekend, I was worn out to the point where I could tell I was fighting sickness. (BLAH.) He didn't have to work on Saturday, so he told me to sleep in as late as I wanted. He got up early and took Phoebe out for her morning potty walk, kept her occupied so I could rest, and when I did get up, he made pancakes and smoky links for us. (And he cleaned up the kitchen when he was done!)

I appreciate all these little things because they remind me I'm loved...even when life is utterly exhausting. I appreciate the big things he does too, but sometimes love is shown in a candid photo, an evening walk, a lazy Saturday, and a break from cooking.

Thanks for loving me well in the little things, Ryan!