Layers of Love

Happy Valentine's Day!

For all of you who may not be huge fans of this day, I send a big bloggy hug your way. I remember the years of pizza, Blizzards, and dressing in black, rolling my eyes at every flower delivery that came into the office. I'm sorry today hurts.

For all of you (married or single) who don't care about this day one iota, that's okay too! Enjoy your Thursday!

Today, though, as we observe our Valentine's Day here in Shafferland, I want to talk about layers of love.

I remember our first Valentine's Day and how excited I was to finally have a Valentine. I'd never had a boyfriend (or fiancé) on Valentine's Day in my entire life. I still never have. One year I was single on that day and the next year I was married! But I so looked forward to that day and having someone to spoil. Ryan made my dreams come true by sending me flowers at work (another first for me), and we had a romantic dinner at home that night, which we made and enjoyed together.

We've lived a lot of life since that first Valentine's Day back in 2013.

My excitement for the day hasn't changed. I'm still looking forward to spoiling Ryan. I'm still excited to get flowers. I've planned a special menu for us. This day still matters to me every bit as much as it did six years ago.

But there are more layers to our love now than there were back then. The excitement isn't less. But it is deep.

I thought about it the other night, when I watched Ryan staying up later than I knew he wanted to so he could study his Bible for a while longer.

It made me remember our dating days, when we first studied the Bible and prayed together. We were excited to do those things, but we were nervous to share our thoughts so vulnerably for the first time. And now, we are many layers deep into that part of our relationship. We love to study. We love to share things we've learned in our own personal study times. We love to pray together. We love praying for one another even when we're apart. We have layers to this part of our love that weren't there back then.

I thought about it earlier this week when I watched Ryan take care of his mom. His patience is unending.

While my patience level has grown from the nonexistence it used to be in my teens and twenties, I am still amazed at just how patient he is all the time. Even when he's tired. Even when he's exasperated. Even when there's no end to the need. He's always patient, always upbeat, always encouraging. And while I've never been one to subscribe to the theory that if you want to know how a man will treat you, watch how he treats his mother, I will say that I know the same love and respect he shows to her every time he cares for her reflects the same love and respect he shows to me and everyone else in his path. I knew he was a good man when I married him, but this journey has shown me layer after layer after layer of goodness and patience.

I think about it every day when I see the new love note he's left in his February project of love notes.

Every day he hangs a new heart on my dresser, and every one has a note of something he loves about me. About us. And I know talk can be cheap, so let me say that these notes (which I ADORE, by the way) are just one way he shows love. He gives me living love notes all the time. Earlier this week he happened to remember that I enjoy affogatos when we're out on dates, and he made me one at home. (He doesn't even like them, but he makes a good one!) He remembers to turn on the mattress warmer on the bed every night so it's toasty when I crawl in. He pours my first cup of coffee every morning. He cleans up after Braeya when she gets sick because he knows fluids aren't my forte. He puts gas in the car because he doesn't want me to have to stand out in the Polar Vortex to do it myself.

I knew he was considerate and generous when I married him, but I'm learning new layers of how he shows love every single day. He's consistent and yet constantly new in his offerings.

This love thing really does get deeper with time. I'd read about it in books before I was married, but it's true. Ryan provides a great example for living in love. I learn from him all the time, and I'm very grateful to have a husband who does more than buy flowers and dinners on Valentine's Day - though I will give three cheers for that. He offers layers and layers of love for me and for all who encounter him.

Happy Valentine's Day, Ryan! Thank you for giving layers of depth to this love we share. I love you so much!