Taking Time

Last weekend my friend Amber met me for coffee while Ryan was at work. Though we'd texted off and on in the last month, we hadn't seen each other in person since the day of my surprise party. And she was one of my friends who had pitched in to help Ryan make the party come together for real. So as we sat back and sipped coffee, she asked me what I really thought of the party. Had I loved it?

Well of course!

But I still struggled to put into words what that party really did for my heart. I'll try today, but I'm still not sure I can adequately convey my thoughts.

Right around a hundred people came to that party. A hundred people! When I walked in the door and saw them all staring at me, my first reaction was guilt. I felt guilty that so many people had given up a beautiful Saturday that could have been filled with family or a fun outdoor adventure to come to what was apparently a party in my honor.

But about .005 seconds later, love broke through. I realized that while all those people could have been somewhere else, they chose me. They wanted to shower me with love and let me know how much I meant to them, so they put aside what they could have done and came to celebrate with me. (Some even brought kids they were watching for the day just so they could still be part of the celebration! I loved that!)

A couple of months earlier, when I spoke at a weekend retreat, I talked about the importance of taking time to tell people what they mean to you while you have the opportunity to do so. And when I walked through the doorway that led me into my own party (and once I got the guilt-gut out of the way) I felt like the presence of every person in that room was a love-hug just for me. Even before a single person said a single word to me, I felt like they had chosen to show me that I mattered just by their mere presence.

My brain sometimes freezes (as it did when I first entered) but sometimes it works in overdrive, and it sure went into overdrive mode quickly that day. As I scanned the room, I saw friend after friend after friend, and family member after family member, and I saw our stories wrapped around them. For each person, I remembered the stories that connected us. Some had known me since the day I was born. Others were brand new friends. Many fell somewhere in the middle. But all of them took time to show love and make an investment, and that is the single greatest gift I will take away from that day.

That party was spectacular. Ryan put hours of love and work into it, and I treasure every detail. Every helium balloon. (I do so love those.) Every piece of cake. Every picture on the wall. Every book on a table. Every single rose. (There were forty-two and I dried and kept every petal.) Belle. The photographer. All of it.

But the greatest gift was that all these hundred people took time to love me with their presence. I will never forget that.

We have a friend (well, he's Ryan's friend, but Ryan shared, so now he's my friend too) who doesn't have many days left on this earth. I'll have to write a whole separate post sometime about the lessons I've been learning from him, so stay tuned for that. We went a few weeks ago for what we both thought would be the last time we would ever see him. We laughed and talked and prayed and told stories - all of us - and hoped when we left that we had let him know he was loved and treasured.

We had the privilege of going to see him again this week. I don't know if it will be the last time or not, but I do know that for every second of the two or so hours we sat in his home, I soaked up everything. I wanted to remember it all. I weighed my words because if I only had one more chance to share a story or a thought, I wanted it to be worth the time.

Taking time for people matters. I think we know that when, like our friend, the days are more than likely shortly numbered. We're aware and purposeful, and that's a good thing. But really every moment is precious. Every moment you can take to tell another soul that he or she is loved and valued is a moment well spent.

Take the time.

Make the visit.

Write the note.

Say the words.