Sewers and Such

I feel like it's been too long since you had a good Bekah story, so....today is your day!!!!!

We have a gorgeous tree in our backyard...a giant piece of history raising branches into the sky and tossing leaves and shade over us...and we love that tree. It's part of our family roots...planted within the time that my grandparents lived on this property, and my aunt can still remember when the tree was transplanted int our ground.


For those reasons, we love our big tree.

But did I mention the roots???

No one told me, when I moved in here, that tree roots...the little seaweed looking tendrils at the very end, can stubbornly push their way into sewer lines and clog them. No one told me. And why would I know that? I mean high school was filled with drills on when Indiana became a state, how to do all kinds of things with parallelograms, dissecting pigs and diagramming sentences. NONE of these things have circled back to benefit me in my adult life {spoiler alert for students!!} but the helpful things - like learning what tree roots do to sewer lines - were never mentioned once.

So when you don't know, you learn the hard way.

The hard way for me came back some 15 years ago when I'd just moved in and one day my roommate noticed toilet paper and tampons laying in the yard outside a mysterious hole in the ground. Oh yes. You read that right. OUR TOILET PAPER AND TAMPONS were laying in the yard for all to see. In the dead of winter, I might add. Merry Christmas. We keep our extra TP and tampons outside. Help yourself!

We called a sewer service and the gentleman drove his giant white van {with large letters proclaiming his business smacked on the side} into our driveway and hauled out all manner of coils and tools I'd never seen. While I stood in the bathroom and kept the flush on repeat, he dug through and arrived at the back door in his snow and ice covered galoshes with the news that our lines had been full of tree roots, but never to fear, he'd cleaned it out. He handed me a bill, thanked me for my business, and left.

And so began my occasional meeting with the sewer man, who really is very good and prompt. He'd been here this past winter, when I thought the lines fought the roots again, but it turned out we just had a frozen pipe. But he warned me we should have him back come spring, because those lines were about to need some treatment.

Ryan and I noticed the familiar gurgle not long ago, so on Tuesday, I called the good man and asked if he could stop by. He asked if it was time for my annual.

You could say that. But I'd rather not word it just that way to the sewer man.

An hour later, he brought the big white van with the sewer service billboard on the side and parked in our driveway. The guys tumbled out with the coils and tools and got busy rooting away in the cleanouts. They shouted stories of the sewers of Marion over the loud motors, and I texted Ryan at work to see if he could, by chance, hear the stories from where he was.

I busied myself with emptying the dishwasher and wondered if our neighbors could hear...hoped maybe they were still asleep. Or gone.

A moment later, as if on cue, the neighbors knocked on the door and waved...they'd stopped by to drop food off in the freezer we share. We stood on the back porch and talked while the sewer service guys weaved in and out of our conversation and I hastily explained why they were there.

Right about then, one of the guys yelled "FLUSH THE STOOL!!!"

Oh yes. Bekah Shaffer: Keeping Marion classy for 15 years now.

They completed their work, delivered the bill, and congratulated me on calling just in time. Not much longer and it would have been a real mess, they said.

Ahhhh yes. The toilet paper yard ornaments. The only thing that could make it classier.