...and maybe I did. But I think he meant the words as a compliment, and I know I chose to take them as such. I determined a while back that I wanted to be known as a person of passion. I love people, and when I invest in them, I want to invest wholeheartedly...passionately. Sometimes I invest with words, sometimes with cards, sometimes with cooking, sometimes with time itself. But regardless of the method, I try to be passionate in my approach.
Yesterday I shared my determination to be more disciplined in my writing. Since I love fresh beginnings, I chose to use my birthday as day one of this discipline. During the Grey's Anatomy finale, I sat on the couch with my pen, my highlighter, my laptop, and my chicken-scratched notes and began to put thoughts to screen.
My topic this time goes back to a writing seed planted months ago, and it pushes me to immerse myself in thoughts I'd rather push away. Thoughts of hearing about being a surprise baby. Thoughts of letting that news consume my life. Thoughts of realizing such consumed living wasn't really living at all. Thoughts of understanding and embracing the life God clearly intended me to have.
Thoughts of a life that began here:
Maybe it was because I chose to begin thinking about it on my birthday that I found myself unexpectedly emotional. Maybe it was because I combined this project with a tear-jerker of a season finale. But maybe...just maybe...it's because I was immersed in my passion.
6 comments:
When I was a kid, my parents told us we were all surprises. I always took that as a good thing, since that's the way my parents expressed it.
When I was older (jr high or high school), I heard other people talking about surprise babies, and they had the eyebrow-thing that said, "You know what that means."
Sometimes parents can be tired, and the surprise of another pregnancy can trigger an "Oh no!" But that's why God gave us 9 months to get used to the idea and anticipate the surprise of meeting the new little life and getting to know who she is and what kind of a marvelous woman she will grow up to be.
I hope you didn't spend too much of your life consumed by the eyebrow-raising surprise talk.
Oh, and by the way, how did your parents manage to have a baby with that much hair? It's not fair! Both of my kids (me too, in fact) were bald little things.
I know, without a doubt, that even though you were a surprise to your parents, you have always been wanted by them.
The pregnancy was a surprise, yes. I can understand the fear and what-ifs and worries about the pregnancy and the worries about having a newborn again.
However, you - Rebekah - have always been a valuable member of your family and I know you have brought much joy and pleasure and pride to your mom and dad.
The unknowns of a pregnancy can be overwhelming. But the joys of your own child, even with all the unknowns, so far outweigh any negatives. Watching that surprise grow into a beautiful blessing was well worth the worry...I have no doubt.
Skyepuppy - You hit the nail on the head with the "since that's the way my parents expressed it" line. I firmly believe it's all in the phrasing. And that is part of what I'm writing about.
I never doubted that my parents loved me, but I heard years and years (largely from others) worth of memories about what a trauma it had been, and there was about a decade of my life that I lost to being consumed with hurt over that.
OH and about the hair...not sure how that happened. I think my oldest sister had a "normal" amount of hair, and my middle sister had NO hair - for a long time. I guess I had the attitudinal hair from the start. And it hasn't changed!!
Christina - They do go to great lengths to say all is great now, and I've gotten to the point where I can finally believe that.
I'm just here to keep em young!! :) So how is it that they gave me gray hair????
I've had people refer to my child as a "surprise baby", but for much different reasons. Our child arrived exactly two weeks short of our second wedding anniversary! So, there is no stigma in that manner of the usage of "surprise baby". There are different ones though:
First of all, it was supposed to be difficult for me to get pregnant - but I got pregnant immediately! Secondly, our son was born a few weeks prematurely, very small. Third, he survived without any invasive procedures.
I considered the word "surprise" to be another word for "blessed". I still do.
Oh yeah, another thing (or two...)
Psalm 127:3 "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him." (that includes daughters too!)
Psalm 139:13 "For you fashioned my inmost being, you knit me together in my mother's womb. 14 I thank you because I am awesomely made, wonderfully; your works are wonders -I know this very well. 15 My bones were not hidden from you when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes could see me as an embryo, but in your book all my days were already written; my days had been shaped before any of them existed."
These are some of my favorite verses, btw! I love that the Lord gave me the wonderful blessing and the good gift of Bekah, my friend.
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