Saying Goodbye...

 

                If you’ve read the blog for a while, you’ve read about Ryan’s Grandpa Cox. Today’s post is a tribute to him, as he had the privilege of meeting Jesus just a few days ago. I can only imagine his joy, freed from a body and mind that had been declining and failing him the past few years.

                Grandpa Cox and my dad were friends for years, long before Ryan and I met up as adults. Grandpa and my parents went to the same church for a number of years, and whenever I would visit, he would always greet me with a huge smile, ask how I was doing, and he never walked away without saying to me, “The Lord bless ya.” I had no idea back then that one day I would have the privilege of being invited to call him grandpa. My first birthday after I married Ryan, Grandpa went out and bought me a granddaughter birthday card. It had been years since I received a card from a grandparent, since I’d lost all my own grandparents before I graduated from high school. He wrote me the sweetest message in that card and signed it “Grandpa – that’s what Ryan calls me.”

                And with that, I became a granddaughter again, and I couldn’t have asked for a better bonus grandfather than Grandpa Cox.

                Last night I scoured old photo files, looking for some contributions for the video tribute at his service. As I copied and pasted pictures into a “Grandpa Cox” file, I was greeted with the sweetest memories, and I hoped I might share a few of them with you today.

                Until his mind and memory began to fail, Grandpa was a staple at every holiday, birthday party, wedding…and even my gallbladder surgery. He’d been widowed for years, but he came to everything on his own and was always a sweet addition to the group. This picture is from my 40^th birthday party. I believe he was asking his daughter (Ryan’s Aunt Ruthie) if his presence in the picture was going to break the camera. 😊

                Grandpa loved his family – and there sure were a bunch of them to love. I ran across this picture from years ago – where he’s just sweetly listening to his grandson play the violin. He was never too busy to stop and appreciate, just like you see here.

                This one made me smile. Ryan’s mom insisted on group pictures at every family gathering. I love this one of Grandpa and his four kids at one of the Father’s Day gatherings Nita always hosted.

                I also really, really love this picture of Nita and Grandpa. This was taken at her surprise party for her 60^th birthday. Nita loved her dad with her entire being, and Ryan and I have said many times over the last five or so years that we are so grateful she didn’t have to watch his mind decline. I am not sure her heart could have taken it. He was her world.

                He was never too old to love the little ones, and they all dearly loved him.

                This picture was taken the day of Nita’s brain surgery. We had waited hours for news – much longer than they estimated. I snapped this one of Grandpa listening to the doctor. It is a favorite of Ryan’s cousin (who is to Grandpa’s right) – and I don’t disagree with her.

                When Nita lived with us following her surgery, Grandpa would come to visit. One day, she asked if I’d come take this picture of them while they talked and I did. I think it was the last picture of the two of them while she still looked like herself…before the pain took over and the look in her eyes was never the same again. I love this one.

                Grandpa LOVED playing Aggravation, and here are a few pictures of family tournaments.

                Ryan had the privilege of helping with his therapy after a fall left Grandpa with a brain injury. They had the best time together.

                This is the last picture taken with Grandpa and all (but one) of his grandchildren.

                Nita’s last Christmas. She was struggling so hard but wanted all the pictures, and we kept snapping the shutter until she had all she wanted.

                The winter after the pandemic, Grandpa spent a few weeks in a rehab hospital. We went to visit, and they would only let family members visit in a MASH-style tent behind the hospital. Grandpa kept pulling his mask down for pictures because he wanted his smile to be seen. This was really the beginning of his severe dementia. He knew us, but his mind as we knew it was largely gone.

                My favorite memory of all is captured in these photos. Grandpa was Ryan’s hero. He wants to be just like him: devoted to Christ, kind, joyful even if his mind fails him. Grandpa knew Ryan clear up until our last visit about two weeks ago. He didn’t know us that day, but when we walked in the room, he smiled so big and was so happy to see us. Ryan prayed the sweetest prayer over Grandpa’s life, and we said goodbye, knowing it was probably our very last one on this earth.

                Grandpa, we miss you already, but there is no way we could wish you back from the perfection and joy that is your life now. This is what you lived for, and we are so happy it’s your reality now. Thank you for loving us so well and leaving a tremendous legacy for us. We love you, and we look forward to being reunited with you in Heaven one day!

Coffee Experience Date: Sorinna's

 

                In my 50 before 50 list, one of my goals is to do “some sort of coffee adventure.” I wasn’t sure what it might look like, but I hoped for something fun. How handy of my county to put together just such an event for me, right? Okay, so it’s not “for me,” but it’s sure helping me cross this one off the list!

                We are in the middle of a two-month Adams County Coffee Experience. And you know what it involves? A passport! You might remember that I have a fond love for anything involving a passport.

                Here’s how it works: you visit all the coffee shops in the passport before December 23, make a purchase, get the sticker for that page in the passport, and when you’re done, you send pictures of your stickered pages to be entered in a drawing!

                There are six stops, and this last weekend, we did our first official stop. We went to Sorinna’s Bakery in Decatur. We’ve had treats from Sorinna’s before, but we hadn’t been there in person, because they close before we get off work during the week and we don’t often have time to go on the weekend.

                Sorinna’s is in a little downtown storefront space, and it’s just absolutely cute as a button. The day we went, they had a big group of women gathered around the tables in the middle, and they were having the best time, rocking babies, talking, laughing. It was sweet to see. We also ran into not just one, but two friends while we were there. It was fun to catch up with them.

                Ryan and I both ordered an Americano. I really wanted to try one of their specialty coffees, but I’ve decided to get the same thing at each of the coffee shops to keep an equal playing ground. So I got my typical Americano with almond milk (oat, actually, because they didn’t have almond) and sugar free hazelnut flavoring. (Ryan's did not include all the fluff. 

                But since Sorinna’s is a bakery, it just felt wrong to not sample their baked goods. Ryan took the last raspberry, white chocolate scone, and he said it was SO GOOD. He said it was soft and flavorful – and not dry. You know how scones can easily be dry. This one was not. I ordered a homemade cinnamon roll, and I was pleased with the frosting amount as well as the softness of the roll. (Those can also be dry.)

                We found seats in the window and watched people walk by on the city streets while we savored our coffee and treats.

                This is a newer shop in town, and I’m so happy to see that they are making their place and doing well. I would have happily eaten a entire pan of those cinnamon rolls! 😊

                Stay tuned. Five shops to go!

Twelve Questions...Part 4

 

                Thanks for reading along over the last few days while I did this little Q&A series. I had fun with these questions and hope you had fun reading! Here is the last group of questions and my thoughts…

How do you like to spend your free time? Oh, how to pick!?! I spend most of my free time scrapbooking, but I also love hunting around the internet – reading blogs, scouring Pinterest, etc. I also love reading books. And if the weather is nice, I’m up for a good stroll/hike/bike ride. Oh – and drinking coffee while I do any or all of this.

Do you think there is something people misunderstand about you? I presume most people think I’m far more outgoing than I actually am. Most think I’m an extrovert and that is not true. I’m an introvert and becoming more of one all the time. I enjoy talking to people, and my work with public speaking makes me appear really, really outgoing. But I’m actually still pretty shy and generally hide behind Ryan whenever possible!

What is your greatest accomplishment? I think learning to succeed in radio has been my greatest accomplishment. I was such a wallflower (different from being shy) when I took that job, and I have no idea how or why they thought I had potential, but they did, taught me to do well on-air, and in that, I blossomed. One of life’s great surprises!

What was your favorite subject in school? I loved all my home ec classes. (That’s clearly back when it was still called home ec.) I took every single one I could fit into my schedule. Some of the teachers were more fun than others, but regardless of who I had, those were the classrooms where I felt most at home. And in college, I adored my ministry classes even more than my writing classes!

How would you improve your current living space right now if you could? I would attach our garage! I am profoundly thankful to have a garage, for storage reasons and for the protection of our cars in the winter, but I miss having an attached garage. That is such a gift in the winter.

What’s your go-to coffee order? This is new for me within the last year, but I get it every single time: hot Americano with almond milk and a pump of sugar free flavor. (Different coffee shops have different – usually limited – options on flavoring, so I go with whatever they have.) I love this.

What makes your life feel purposeful? God. In The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren wrote, “Your parents may not have planned you, but God did.” That was the sentence that changed my life back in my twenties. God planned me. He has a purpose for me. That is enough for me.

Where is your favorite place you’ve ever visited? All of them! I love different places for different reasons. But for this question I’ll pick Siesta Key Beach, because it was there that I became a wife and started a whole new life. It will always be my favorite because of that!

Do you prefer sneakers or heels? Hmmm. I love the feel of sneakers and the look of heels. Can I say that? Starting with my job at the station, nearly every job I’ve worked has had a pretty easy dress code. Lots of dressing down if I chose. Because of that, I’ve worn a lot more sneaker-type shoes. But I love, love, love a good pointed toe heel. They feel miserable, but they look amazing.

If your wardrobe could only be one color, what would it be? Blue! I have added so much blue to my wardrobe since I started building my capsule. In my adulthood, blue has become my favorite color in general, and it’s also Ryan’s, so it helps that this is a good color for me to wear!

What’s the most awkward date you’ve ever been on? Oh man. You do not have time for the answer to this. I have SO MANY OPTIONS. The one that comes to mind was a setup (there were many) and this guy and I had nothing in common. Coming up with something…anything…anything at ALL…to talk about was excruciating. It was such a long and painful evening. I tried so hard to be kind and engaging, but I was mentally exhausted when I came home. I felt so bad. He was a nice guy. He was just not even close to right for me. (Nor was I for him.)

What was your favorite toy as a kid? I had one of those baby dolls that looked like a real baby, and I loved it. I carried it everywhere. I even had a little car seat for it for the car. I loved that sweet baby! (Somewhere I have a photo with it, but I’m not sure at the moment where that picture lives.)

And that’s a wrap on the Q&A days!

Twelve Questions...Part 3

 

I’m back with more of my little Q&A series. Thanks for reading along!! Hope you find some fun things in today’s installment.

What’s something you’ve done that you didn’t expect to do at this age? Oh my. Well, I have done MANY things that I never expected to do at ANY age. Ahem, ziplining, whitewater rafting, jumping waterfalls…just to name a few. But oh my goodness, the stories I have collected through my adventures are worth the pain, right? I would like to add that while Ryan has pushed me to the edge of/beyond my adventure limits sometimes, he has also awakened in me a desire to want to do things I’d never considered before. I have a handful of safe-on-the-ground adventures on my list that I wouldn’t have dreamed of before meeting Ryan and learning I’m capable of more than I knew.

Do you plan in advance or save things for the last minute? WE ARE PLANNERS. Both of us. There is great joy in a planner marrying a planner, because I think it saves a lot of discord within the home. This week is actually my planning week for 2026. I am holed up with lists that birthed lists that birthed lists, trying to make sure I have my home, work, and school lives planned accordingly!

What’s your favorite childhood memory? My favorite memory was the day my niece was born. I was eleven and so excited to meet her. Pre-birth gender reveals weren’t a thing then, but I just knew she was a girl, and I was so excited to be her aunt. She was born on Christmas Eve. Easily the best Christmas gift possible.

If you could change one thing about yourself, would you? This feels like a trick question. On one hand, I think change is possible, and I have changed things about myself over the years. When my hair started graying, I didn’t love the look on me, so I became a blonde to help hide the gray, and I like it. (It’s okay if you preferred my natural color. I still love being blonde.) I hated how I felt when I was overweight, so I worked hard to lose weight. These are things I can change and don’t mind. But even though there are things about who I am or how I look that I’d selfishly love to snap my fingers and change, I still say no to those. In some cases they aren’t possible anyway, but even if they were, some of these things are either who God made me to be or things that push me to depend on Him. So for those reasons, no I wouldn’t change them.

What have you done for fun or leisure in the last week? The last week has had its fair share of hard/not fun/not leisurely moments. But…I have taken some naps, gone for some walks with Ryan and Lexi, enjoyed a coffee date, watched some Christmas movies, and scrapbooked, and these things have brought me joy.

How would you describe your personal style? Emerging. I’m always late to every party, so here I am in my mid-40s still figuring out my personal style. 😊 In our home, I would say I’m learning that I’m a mix of coastal/farmhouse/thrift store. And on me, I am not even sure what I’d name my style. I’ve worked hard on my capsule wardrobe, though, so I’ve learned the colors I enjoy wearing and the clothes that feel best on me. I’m thankful for that!

Which website do you visit the most? Probably Facebook, followed by Zillow and Pinterest. I’m always just browsing for ideas and fun.

What’s your go-to ice cream flavor? I really love anything with caramel in it – and also, the more mix-ins the better. I love these new “pothole” ice creams that are like a garbage can of every caramel and chocolate offering possible.

If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? This is an easy one to answer. I have a full-USA trip all mapped out that would take a few years to do properly. It crosses the US from top to bottom and coast to coast several times, and then I would LOVE to drive from Key West, Florida, to Deadhorse, Alaska. And by drive, I mean navigate while Ryan drives. I don’t really have world travel dreams, but my USA travel dreams know no bounds.

What was your first heartbreak and what happened? I was four and crushed hard on my neighbor. What happened? He graduated from high school. LOL!! I tended to like guys way older than I was. I think my first “real” heartbreak (which was so one-sided that it cannot be classified as real-life real, but it was real to me) was in high school when I thought I would just DIE if a guy I knew didn’t ask me out. He did not know I existed, did not ask me out, did ask someone else, married, her, and they are still married and thriving in ministry today. I cried buckets over this guy. He has no idea. (Or at least let me think that, okay?)

When you make a resolution, do you stick to it? I usually do! Sometimes I resolve to do something and God ends up changing my course, and when that happens, I follow Him. But for the most part, if I set my mind to something, I do it!

Do you prefer cities or the countryside? COUNTRY! But not so far out that I can’t get to a store for food. Ha! (Allow me to explain.) Ryan and I are not city folk. We visit the city often on vacations, because we can usually find many things to do in a small space and a short time. But every time, we talk about how we were not meant to live in the city. I grew up deep in the country and hated being far away from everything. Forget something at the store? Well, congratulations. You just lost an hour of your life going to get it and returning home. I did not – and do not – want to be that far out. That still holds true. But I have come to greatly appreciate the quietness of small towns and countrysides.