Movin' Right Along

 

Contrary to the way it may appear, we actually don’t love moving regularly. This one, especially, was a surprise. We never imagined finding this place at all, and we definitely never imagined the time frame of this move. But it has happened, and we’re grateful for all it represents. And the move itself was a rapid-fire blessing.

            Our original plans were to move throughout the week this week (as in right now). Ryan has this week off work, so he planned to drive tiny truckloads back and forth throughout the week, and then we hoped that this coming weekend, we could round up some help to finish moving the big stuff.

            But we saw that the weather for this past Saturday was supposed to be as ideal as February gets in Indiana. Sunny, no precipitation, and while not WARM, not bitterly cold, either. We hated to risk waiting, in case the planned weekend turned out to be a weather fail. Plus, if we moved earlier, Ryan could use his time off to finish cleaning/repairing the house we left and settling in here at the new house, too. It felt like a better use of time all the way around.

            And so it was that two weeks before our planned move, we moved UP the move date by a week. (That feels like a tongue twister.) We rushed to finish packing, and I took a day off work last Friday to do the last packing push. Ryan came home and helped, and by midnight, when we fell on the couch to sleep (because the bed was in the garage), I couldn’t fall asleep because my feet and legs ached from all the standing and box-carrying.

            We were up early Saturday morning to get ready and await our helpers. When we moved out of WillowBridge, our former coworker, Tim, came one Saturday for a few hours to help Ryan move the big things I absolutely could not help with, thanks to my lack of upper body strength. Other than that, we moved everything entirely on our own. Just the two of us. Every box. Every other piece of furniture – all of it. We loaded it and unloaded it ourselves. It took days to transport it all, and we were exhausted by the end of it.

            This time, we had TWELVE PEOPLE come over to help load and unload. I had tears in my eyes from the gratitude of it all. They came with pickup trucks and trailers (enclosed and open) and in an hour and fifteen minutes, they had everything carted out of the garage and house and secured in trailers. (We had carried everything we could to the garage, trying to be as prepared as possible.) We provided donuts, snacks, coffee, and water, and they stayed energized enough to load!

            We drove to the lake and they started unloading. Some had to leave sooner than others, so unloading took a little longer, but we got it done before dinner! Our friend Julie stayed with me to help unload boxes of kitchen things into cabinets, and Jonathan went with Ryan to help swap out some appliances with the previous house. My mom provided pizza for everyone for lunch, and we kept snacking on it throughout the afternoon.

            For Lexi’s mental and physical safety, we boarded her for the weekend. I did not want to risk her escaping through any one of a dozen doors propped open throughout the move, and I knew the whole idea of so many people and boxes and pieces of furniture milling about overwhelmed her. When we arrived to drop her off, her trainer walked through, and Lexi lost her mind with joy. She was so excited to see her and ran right to her. (She did give me an obligatory hug goodbye, but mostly she was excited to see Mackenzie and go visit whatever friends were behind the door.)

            One of the families that came to help us move brought their preteen daughter, and she fell in absolute love with Braeya. The Two of them played in a bedroom throughout the move, and Braeya was thrilled.

            Speaking of Braeya, she transitioned beautifully to the new house. She has explored it at length, loves it, and has made her little nest on our bed, which is where she spends most of her time anymore. She was able to be here before we brought Lexi back home, so that helped give her some quietness in which to explore and acclimate.

            Lexi came home a day later and spent the first hour being a hound dog on a mission, sniffing every square inch of floor space. She’s currently sacked out in her bed beside my desk. Exploration is exhausting work. We know it will take her some time to figure it all out, but we think she will adore lake livin’.

            “Movin’ right along” has now moved into “unpacking for days,” so if you need us, that’s where we’ll be. It’s kind of like Christmas, truthfully. We’re finding all kinds of treasures we forgot we owned!

The Dream Came True

 

Late last December, I told you about a storyline God was writing for us that shocked both of us when it began to come to pass. Throughout our entire marriage, we have dreamed of living on the water, but I confess my own faith was so small that I never imagined it would become a reality.

            I remember when I was still working at WBCL, and Ryan and I were trying to find work for him so we could move to Fort Wayne, we found a house we loved, and it was on a pond. We prayed so fervently for God to open that door, and for reasons we will never know, He did not open it. But in the course of those prayers, I remember asking Him to let us have a water view. I even told him a drainage ditch would work!

            (That dream came true at WillowBridge, but the water was so low in the ditch, it was hard to see.)

            Living on an actual lake seemed out of reach for us and were it not for a little fishing lake in a tiny town, it would still be financially out of reach for us. Lake properties in Indiana are outside our budget. But this one was a sweet little gift we are so happy we stumbled upon.

(Photo from the day we first saw the house.)

            And now we’re here.

            I have so many stories, and eventually some before and after pictures to share. Right now, we have pockets of space that are livable and pockets that are a disaster. We both find it difficult to feel settled until everything has found a home, so we really are working hard to get everything put away, but we also want to recognize that it doesn’t have to be done in a day – or so we tell ourselves.

            Sunday evening, we sat down on the couch (which we put together for the express purpose of being able to rest) and looked out over the water. Feet up, blankets on, water rippling with the tiniest whitecaps, we breathed for the first time in several days. We dared not look behind us or to the side, where boxes sat in piles, but if we just looked straight ahead, we saw nothing but beauty. I’m sure there is a spiritual lesson buried in there, but I’ll allow you to draw your own conclusion on that.

            To wake up in the morning and see the sunrise over the water…to see it slide down over the other end of the lake at night…this is a gift.

(Photo from last night.)

            I have been working to figure out the best way to share the stories of the move with you, and I’m not entirely sure how to approach it. The after pictures are indeed going to take a little time, but I’ll try to send along some stories for the meantime.

But while I figure out all of that, I just want to say I’m so profoundly grateful for the way it has all come about. I’m grateful we found the place at all. I’m grateful we were able to afford it. I’m grateful we were able to renovate it to make it our own. I’m grateful we were able to move early. I’m grateful for this view out my desk-space window. So much gratitude.

            Dreams really do come true! 

Travel Dreams: Means of Travel

 

            Last month I shared with you about the lure of the world cruise and how it has (so far) given me the only deep desire for world travel that I’ve ever had. My heart is still largely drawn to this country in which I live and all the many rich things it has to offer from sea to sea and border to border.

            We have absolutely no clue what God has ahead for us. Perhaps we will settle in at the lake and stay there always, except for small trips close to home. But perhaps we will get to see some of our travel dreams come true in miraculous ways. (And for some of them to come true, it would indeed take a miracle.)

            One of the things I declared during 2022 was that I would devote time in the months to come to designing trips I hope we can take someday. In the traveling we have done, small though it may be, I have recognized multiple times that planning way in advance always turns out to be a blessing. I plan early and nearly roll my eyes at the ridiculousness of the early preparation, and then something happens, and I realize if I hadn’t done it then, I would have run out of time to do it at all.

            So I shall use my time here and now to plan for someday. If the trips come to fruition, it will be a blessing to be ready. If they don’t, I will have learned more about our country and its offerings and landscapes just from preparing, and time spent learning is never wasted.

            One of the things I have spent a decent amount of time researching is the best type of travel vehicle for our someday travels. Our dreams would take us on multi-week trips, so having a true home-away-from-home matters profoundly to us. We’ve learned much from our travels in Abby over the last few months, and here is what I’ve determined would work best for us. (I reserve the right to change my mind if I find better options!)

·         If we are going to travel across the country, we most certainly want to take an RV. Having the ability to safely transport our own food and use our own bathroom at any moment matters greatly to us. Being able to travel without packing and unpacking a suitcase every night matters to us. Having a place that is consistent in a season of daily change matters to us.

·         I’ve done endless hours of research on different sizes of RVs, campers, and truck campers. I’ve concluded that for us and for the type of travel we hope to do, driving a small RV (about the size of Abby) is the perfect fit. Large RVs are tempting for having extra space to call home, but the cost of the rig and fuel don’t work for us, and some of the places we have high on our list don’t accommodate huge vehicles. Pulling a camper would work (and would give us a vehicle to drive around without uprooting the camper) but some of our destinations involve tight curves on roads – and towed campers wouldn’t work out well. Some of the newer truck campers are pretty fancy and bigger than you might think, but I fear they wouldn’t be large enough for longer trips. (At least for us.)

·         The biggest downside in Abby is the wet bath. It works fine for the kind of camping we do with her, but a long-term trip with a wet bath isn’t our dream come true. So finding a small RV with a shower separate from the rest of the bath is paramount.

·         Having storage to take things we might need over a longer haul is also important – and can be hard to find in a smaller RV.

·         Having space for Lexi (because we hope this happens in her lifetime!) is very important.

Currently, my favorite find for an RV that would work for our travel dreams is the Coachmen Cross Trail. Have you ever seen one? Let me tell you what I love about it.

·         The ones I love most are considered a Class C RV, but they’re small – about the same size as Abby.  

·         They have a dinette booth inside, which is something Ryan really loves. (Abby has a table that has to be put up and taken down each time, and he has mentioned he hopes in a future RV, we can have a permanent table.)

·         It has a shower that is separate from the rest of the bathroom and doesn’t look unbearably small!

·         My favorite part is that the bed is in the back, and it raises and lowers to be as tall or short as you like. If you raise it up high, all the area underneath it is a garage for storage. It can be accessed from the inside or the outside, making it a perfect way to arrange Lexi’s bed and also other things we would need to carry for the long haul!

·         The only drawbacks I can see from my research are: no slides (which Abby doesn’t have either, but it does make it nice if you’re living in it for a long stretch…gives you a little more room) and a smaller refrigerator/freezer. But if you’re on the go every day, stopping to stock up isn’t as difficult as if you’re out in the middle of nowhere for a long time!

By the time we get to our travel dreams, this RV might be completely out of date, and we’ll need to start over. But if we were to leave today, this would be our pick, I think! Cute as a button and full of everything we’d need!

Sunday Sentiments: Remembering

 

This week has been one of great emotion for me. We have some stories going on that I haven’t had a chance to tell you about yet, but they involve endings and goodbyes. Even when those are good things because of the beginnings and hellos they allow, they’re still hard. Goodbyes are bittersweet.

            We’re in the middle of some other big decisions that may mean more goodbyes, and sometimes I can’t even think about what that would look like in our everyday.

            We moved…and we did it a week early. The push to get packed ahead of schedule – while working – and moved into this place we’ve dreamed of for months was a gift shrouded in a goodbye.

            But beyond these petty-in-the-light-of-eternity goodbyes, this week was filled with other sorts of remembrances that were far more weighty and impactful.

            This week marked two years since Allen died unexpectedly. I sat at our dining room table (converted to my desk after we took apart the actual desk) Thursday morning and remembered that day two years ago.

            I remember how tired we were when we finally fell in bed that night and how the phone rang just as we were drifting off to sleep. I remember knowing – as soon as Ryan answered – that someone had died, but I couldn’t figure out who it might be. Allen wasn’t even on my mental list. I remember Ryan’s look of shock as he stared into our dark bedroom and whispered, “Rod said he thinks Allen died of a heart attack.”

            I remember the second call a few minutes later to confirm. I remember pacing our apartment, unsure of what to do or who to call. Who can you call at that hour? I called my mom. (I told her I was sorry to wake her, but it went with the mom territory. You lose your sleeping privileges when you have children, I’ve been told.) I remember Ryan calling his uncle – because he didn’t know who to call either.

            I remember Ryan going out early the next morning to run the snowblower at WillowBridge. He couldn’t just sit anymore. We’d been up all night, crying, praying, staring.

            In some ways, that long-and-short-all-at-once night seems years ago and in other ways, it seems that it can’t possibly be two whole years ago.

            And even as I was remembering Allen, I received a message from the mom of our neighbors when we lived in Marion. She wanted me to know they lost their sweet baby boy to stillbirth this week. They knew he was unlikely to live outside the womb, but they hoped anyway. This is the second baby boy they’ve lost to stillbirth, and it utterly breaks my heart.

            So this afternoon, while surrounded by boxes that need unpacked but don’t really matter in this moment, I’ll be on our couch, watching little Benjamin’s memorial service and remembering the deep grief that comes with losing a child. Remembering my little nephew, Kirk. Remembering my bonus niece, Carol. Remembering Ryan’s little niece, Kaitlynn – even though I wasn’t part of the family when they said hello and goodbye to her, all in one breath.

            Remembering is hard, but it’s necessary. It’s what shapes us. The moments can be hard to relive, but we are who we are because we lived them in the first place.

            So today, I shall remember. I’ll remember the blessings that have come from the seasons we’ve said goodbye to this week. I’ll remember the impact of lives, long and short. I’ll remember with joy and with tears. I’ll remember with love.

Saturday Suggestions

 

Good morning, friends! Happy Saturday to you!! We are excited for this day, because for the most part, it is our moving day! We are thrilled to be able to take this next step in what has become a multi-month project. So while we’re exercising all the moving muscles, I hope you can enjoy reading from the comfort of your chair!

Today’s finds are a random smattering of things I’ve come upon this week, and I want to share them with you!

ONE. 

Last Sunday night, we hosted some friends for the big game, and I made this dessert dip that went over very well with everyone! It tastes a lot like cookie dough, and you can dip in it whatever you want. We used animal crackers, but you could use any kind of cookie or pretzel – or just a spoon! If football isn’t your thing, you could easily shape the dip into something else and use another color of sprinkles to accomplish the look! (Bonus: It was very easy to make and took very little time. So even if you’re not one who loves kitchen projects, this would come together quickly for you!)

TWO. 

I might be standing totally alone as the one person in the country not utterly wowed by the National Anthem performance last Sunday night. I appreciated that it was on key, but I wasn’t moved to tears (as I nearly always am by that song) so I must be broken somehow. But the next day I saw this video of the sign language version of the song, and it moved me. So poetic!

THREE. 

Earlier this week, I told you about the book I’m reading right now, called Devotedly. I mentioned that it has stirred in me a desire to read more of Elisabeth Elliot’s books! I’ve read (multiple times) and loved Passion and Purity. I have The Journals of Jim Elliot that I need to finish reading. And I’m pretty sure I read A Chance to Die back in college. It’s the story of Amy Carmichael, a missionary that Jim and Elisabeth admired and wanted to emulate. But there are many more books to read, and I found a list of themhere!

FOUR. 

To share a sports-related post is an unusual choice for me, and I acknowledge that! I read this article this week after seeing it shared on Facebook, and I wanted to share it with you for a specific reason. The article is about a high school student (in our home area) who just became the leading basketball scorer in his school’s history. His parents were in college with me and I worked with his grandma, so even though I don’t know him personally, I was interested in his story. What impressed and motivated me as I read was his drive to pursue his goals. You hear a lot about teens and young adults who are content to live on the lazy side, but this proves there are still driven young adults out there in this world. And perhaps I could stand to learn a bit from that kind of drive, too!

FIVE. 

With the increase in the price of…everything…Ryan and I have gotten away from our former practice of always having a pitcher of fresh flowers on the table. We started that little treat back in Kokomo and continued it throughout our time in Grabill, but right about the time we moved away from WillowBridge, prices were skyrocketing, and that was something we cut out. I’ve been trying to build a nice collection of faux flowers to use in random spots around the house to add color and such. It’s a much more cost-effective way to enjoy flowers when you don’t grow your own! I found this article just this week that gives great tips on choosing and arranging faux flowers so they look more realistic. She shares some great ideas – including IRONING them. I didn’t even know that was an option!! As we unpack and settle, I’ll be taking these tidbits into consideration!

SIX. 

I’m sure I’ve shared this Youtube clip somewhere along the way in my blogging career, but I’m sharing it again today. I wrote a few days ago about the hymn The Longer I Serve Him, and this little rendition is my favorite one of that song. It’s not the most polished, but the heart and trust behind it makes it the best, in my opinion.

Celebrating Valentine's Day: Deeply Known, Fully Loved

 

            I spent most of my single years trying hard to embrace Valentine’s Day while simultaneously dying inside a little bit each year. I was so excited to be able to really celebrate it when we were married – and that seemed to be right about the same time all the married couples started publicly hating the day and posting about how a single day of love doesn’t really matter.

            But it matters to us. It’s totally fine if it isn’t your thing, but we genuinely love it and wanted to share about our celebration on Valentine’s Day!

            We started by oversleeping an hour, so three cheers for that! I managed to get showered and dressed before I had to report to my desk for work, but I was exceedingly grateful I didn’t have any video meetings in the first half of the day! I looked rough. And that was the view of his valentine Ryan had as he left for work that day. Big, wild hair plopped atop a girl waving goodbye and declaring her love. How lucky is he?

            Since we’re in the middle of moving, we chose to stay in for our celebration. We had some steaks in the freezer that I asked Ryan to grill and I chose a crab mac andcheese recipe from the Dashing Dish website and also picked out a chocolateraspberry brownie from the same site!

            I wore the brightest combo of pinks and whites I could find and did eventually properly do my hair and makeup.

            Ryan went to the little market after work and grabbed some sparkling grape juice (because I totally forgot about it) and also found some thunder jack cheese! What is that, you might ask? We first learned about it at our small group a few weeks ago. One of the guys brought it, and I loved it. It’s kind of like pepper jack, but better. The cheese itself is a blend of Colby and Monterey Jack, and then there are peppers worked into it. It has a smoky flavor (to me, anyway) and it’s just so very delicious.

            We worked together to make our dinner and then ate at a cleared-off space on our dining room table.

            After dinner, we exchanged our gifts, which were both winners in my opinion! I gave Ryan an air frying basket for our oven. (Our oven has a built-in air fryer, but we’ve had trouble getting food to be really crispy in it. He is hopeful that a proper air frying basket will be the solution!) He gave me a beachy clock I’d seen and liked. It’s going to look perfect in the new house!

            We curled up on the couch to rest for a minute while we watched a TV show and may have fallen asleep when it ended. Then we rallied for our workout before the day was done.

            It wasn’t the most polished Valentine’s Day we’ve ever had, but it was still a very good day full of sweet memories. Probably won’t soon forget the year we were mid-move during Valentine’s Day! But what I loved most of all about the day was that I felt so known and loved by the one who shares my days. I am so very grateful for him and all he does every day to make life sweet. I'm also so very grateful he is willing to celebrate the extra-special days in fun ways!

A Final Hosting in This Home

            Our Bluffton home looks so bare and stark right now. All the wall art is safely tucked away in boxes, awaiting a move, and Ryan says the walls look diseased with all the mudded patches awaiting their sanding/repainting treatment. Smaller pieces of furniture have disappeared from their longstanding spaces, and not much about this space screams home anymore.

            It doesn’t bother us. It’s all part of the moving process. One house has to give up its rightful place so another house can be ready to receive a new mission. We’re excited about making the new house home, and we’re excited about decommissioning this space so someone else can make it home.

            One thing I’ve never done before is host company just days before a move, when everything is in disarray, including my brain.

            We did just that this past Sunday night. Our new friends who came to spend New Year’s Eve with us asked if we were watching the game, and Ryan invited them to join us to watch it. I warned them we were not at our prettiest right now, but of course they were welcome to come over if they wanted to, and they did!

            We decided to have a baked potato bar, so everyone could bring their favorite toppings and have a potato or two in whatever way they wished!

            I made peanut butter oatmeal cookies and a football shaped dessert dip. We had coffee, of course, and our friends also brought four bags of chips. (Apparently there is an episode of King of Queens where they eat a different kind of chip in every quarter of the game. We borrowed that idea!)

            I told Ryan earlier in the day that I’m thankful for how far I’ve come in my own mind and heart. The Bekah of years ago never would have dared to invite anyone into such chaos. To be able to say to new friends, “This is our mess. Welcome to it,” shows me I’ve grown, and I celebrate that.

            Lexi was beside herself with joy that we had friends over, though after a few hours of exuberance, she eventually tuckered right out and missed the whole end of the game.

            There are a million opinions on this game, its commercials, its halftime show, and its music. I think I’ll keep mine to myself because in truth, none of it really mattered to me. I had no investment in this event at all. Our team wasn’t in the game. I picked a team to root for, but I didn’t have a strong opinion. I laughed at some commercials and rolled my eyes at others.

            What I enjoyed most was spending the evening with friends and appreciating the opportunity to still share our home, even though it feels more like just a house at this point. (I'll share a couple pictures of Ryan and me here, but our friends are the non-social-media type, so just imagine them!)

            Looking forward to spending more time with more friends in a new space (once it’s fully constructed). Looking forward to more deeply appreciating the gifts God has given and will give. Looking forward to learning our new community and its people even more.

Bekah's Bookshelf: 2023 Reads So Far

 

            Before I found the reading challenge I decided to try this year, my first book of the year was going to be Redemptive Compassion by Lois Tupyi. Lois is a recently-retired Executive Director of a Love INC affiliate out in Idaho, and the topic of her book is required training for all Love INC staff, nationwide. Ryan and I both sat through some sessions on it in our training over the course of the last year, and I decided I wanted to read the book too.

            We ordered it in mid-December, but it took almost a month to arrive, so it actually became the third book I read in 2023, not the first.

            Even if you have no connection to Love INC (as I’m guessing most of you don’t), this book teaches some powerful principles that matter in the grand scheme of helping those in need. Lois learned, throughout her years of working at Love INC, that most methods used to help the needy don’t work. Well…they work if you want to meet the need in front of you. But they don’t lead to transformational change. They are usually just a handout, not a hand-up. The efforts to provide food, clothing, and financial help to those in crisis may help today, but next month, they’ll probably be back, in need of the same thing again.

            And so it goes, with generational poverty cycles never breaking, because everyone just comes to stand in the same line they’ve always stood in, which might have been the same ones their parents stood in.

            Redemptive Compassion is a Biblical exploration of how to love and serve those in our community and meet the needs they have, but also to create relationships with them that can help them make life changes to break patterns of need and destruction.

            This book is also a study guide, so it’s meant to be a six-week study (with readings and questions for five of seven days each week) that you can do alone or in a group. I read the book straight through, but now I’m going back through it, much more slowly, to marinate on the teaching, answer the questions, and imagine how this could look in the community we serve.

            In my opinion, the principles of redemptive compassion are kind of like courting vs. dating. I love what Lois teaches and I believe in the concept of the material she is presenting. But I also believe for it to work, you have to get a great number of people to believe it with you so you have a group of people operating with the same convictions and principles. If you try to do this alone, you won't get very far in your efforts. Perhaps that is the thing that frustrated me most about the book, honestly. I'm not sure most communities have that many people who desire to take these deeper steps. I

            The basis of her teaching is that handing out food, clothing, or money is what we usually do because it’s an immediate fix and it’s easy (assuming you have the resources). It doesn’t require long-term commitment or discomfort to the giver or recipient. Living according to redemptive compassion means you commit to being part of a relationship for the long-term, and that comes at a cost. Are you willing to pay that price? (And to be fair: Lois is not against handing out food, clothing, or money or ministries that offer such services. She just wants to explore how to take this a step further to help people change their lifestyle so they can break the cycle of generational poverty.) 

            Convicting questions, for sure. I’m thankful to be reading this book and learning more fully how to approach my own opportunities to give. I’m also intrigued to see how God uses these changes in thought-pattern for me as I serve in the months to come in whatever ways He asks!

            Here are a couple of quotes from the book that stuck out to me:

“If we want to see poverty change, we must change how we see poverty.”

“It’s not whether we fail, because we will all fail at times. It’s what we do with our failures that matter.”

“Could it be that if we don’t pray before we work we might do a good work, but not necessarily His work?”

            This book is thought-provoking, but it’s best explored slowly and not rushed through. There is so much to consider, and it might be even more impactful to read together with someone else!

**

            My next book for the year took me back to my reading challenge. I went to the “Award-Winning Nonfiction” book, and I chose Devotedly by Valerie Shepard. It was the 2020 Christian Book Award winner for the biography/memoir category, and it has been on my wish list ever since I learned it was being published! My parents bought it for me for Christmas, so now's the time to read!

            Some of you might be familiar with the names Jim and Elisabeth Elliot. As I shared in my post yesterday, back in the 1950s, when they were newlyweds with a baby, Jim was speared to death by members of a tribal group he was seeking to win to Christ. Elisabeth returned to serve the group who murdered her husband, and they did become Christians. Elisabeth went on to write many books, and I have long loved the first one of hers I ever read: Passion and Purity. It gives hints of her love story with Jim, and this book, Devotedly fills in the gaps of that love story. It's a compilation of excerpts from their journals and love letters and also includes detail added by their daughter, Valerie.  

            This book is best read slowly. I am not rushing through it, because I want to savor the story and the message it offers. It’s a longer book and the font is small, so it might take you a while to read it through, but I think it’s worth it.

            Jim and Elisabeth are known for their intense dedication to the Lord at any personal cost, and that shines brightly in this book – as I expected it would. I was so convicted, even as a married person, when I read the section about the early days of their friendship. Do I desire Ryan’s pursuit of the Lord as much as they desired that for each other?

            What I did not expect to find (but appreciated!) was the portion of their story where they grappled with their own desires pushing past their desire for the Lord. I think I might have forgotten they were human, and I found out they were. I read a review of this book where the reader was disappointed with them for having such desires and felt their entire story was a fraud. I wildly disagree. I am so thankful to find out that while their decision to follow Christ did rise above all personal desires, they DID struggle with personal desires. They were real! They were honest. THANK YOU! Just as I think we could all benefit from being more like them in our pursuit of God, I think we could also all benefit from being more like them in their vulnerable transparency.

            Even though I am not fully finished with the book, I wanted to share about it, because I think it is a worthwhile read. It is not your typical love story. It is deep and rich in ways most love stories are not. It shows a side of Christ-following not often seen in our present-day world. But it is worth the time and effort. I can see this being a book I return to over and over in years to come, because I won’t possibly be able to learn everything I need to know from the first read. In addition, this book has pushed me to want to read more books by Elisabeth (there are several!) and finish my copy of Jim’s journals. I began reading it years ago but never finished.

    I want to close with a couple of quotes from the book that I've underlined:

"Because we are not led to continue, we stop." (Ouch! I think I usually plow forward until stopped.)

"Intercession is the highest expression of love - it is pure giving. Teach me such love, dear Lord."

"How I despise myself when I get home here in quiet and think of the noise I've made."

Another Side of Love: Lessons from Jim and Elisabeth Elliot

 

            I know Valentine’s Day is not everyone’s favorite, and I want to make sure I don’t get too sappy in today’s post for those of you who feel the sting of this day.

            But for those of you who enjoy it – Happy Valentine’s Day!

            For the past few weeks, I’ve been slowly reading through Devotedly – the love story of Jim and Elisabeth Elliot. For those of you who don’t know, Jim and Elisabeth were missionaries to Ecuador in the 1950s, and Jim and some of the other men who were missionaries in that same area were speared to death by the people they were trying to reach for Christ.

            Elisabeth and their young daughter stayed and eventually saw the very men who killed Jim give their lives to the Lord. She went on to write a number of books and have a long and fruitful ministry.

            But because it was the 1950s and because Jim and Elisabeth spent much of their early “relationship” (even before it was defined as such) many miles apart, they wrote long letters full of discussion about their feelings toward love in general and toward one another. They also wrote detailed journals with their feelings, prayers, and wrestling.

            A few years ago, their daughter compiled some of the letters and entries to make a book that tells the beginning stages of their love story.

            The book is deep and rich, and that (combined with being in the middle of a move) has forced me to read slowly.

            I’m probably about ¾ the way through it, but I’m already deeply convicted about how I show love to Ryan. The book is not about monthiversaries and many of the things we hold dear in our life, but it is about praying and seeking the heart of God in relation to the person you love on this earth.

            Jim and Elisabeth knew early on they were attracted to each other, but they also both felt sure that the Lord had called them to mission work and that they probably shouldn’t marry anyone at all.

            Navigating the push and pull of their hearts toward one another while honoring what they sensed God asking of them took several years of their lives.

            Years.

            They grew to love each other deeply and wanted to spend time together in person, just like many of us do when we find ourselves drawn to someone.

            But above all, they wanted the other person to be following God, even if it meant they didn’t get their own way in a love story.

            That is powerful.

            Even though Ryan and I are married, I find myself asking as I read…Am I praying enough for his personal growth with God? Am I encouraging him to be the very best for the Lord he can be, regardless of what that means for me or for us as a couple?

            It’s not an easy or flippant prayer, but as I’m reading, I’m learning it is the most meaningful thing I could do for Ryan. To love him so much that I pray for God’s highest will for him to be done in his life…that is true love.

            And so, on this day of love, I celebrate Ryan and the story we share. I celebrate it in the traditional ways that we love. We have little gifts to exchange. We have a dinner planned for tonight. I won’t wear black today. But most of all, I want to honor him with my prayers and encouragement, just as Elisabeth encouraged Jim. I want to see blessings come on him because of his faithfulness to God above anything else. I want to love him in ways that matter for eternity. 

    Happy Valentine's Day, my friends!

Hymns: The Longer I Serve Him

 

I enjoyed many blessings growing up in the church of my childhood. I didn’t recognize them at the time, of course, because I was a typical child, caught up in the naivete of it all. But I see and appreciate them now.

            One of the things I have come to appreciate so much was the rich heritage of men and women who served the Lord and weren’t afraid to talk about it in front of those of us still learning what that meant.

            Our church had a time of sharing each week, and there were a handful of older people who could always be counted upon to stand and share something meaningful God had done. Sometimes they just affirmed how much they loved Him. It was somewhat of a game to me back then – guessing who would stand that week or the order in which they would pop up from their pews to say something.

            But I have never forgotten it. I can still see their faces and hear their voices when I think back to those days in that big sanctuary with its red carpet and pews.

            I don’t remember any of them specifically mentioning this particular song, but their words spoke to its message.

            It shouldn’t surprise you that the song is a Gaither piece. They are among my favorites, and I don’t apologize for it!

The longer I serve Him, the sweeter He grows
The more that I love Him, more love He bestows
Each Day is like Heaven, my heart overflows
The longer I serve Him, the sweeter He grows.

            The truth of it is…I still feel much like the twenty—year old kid who just finished growing up in that church. But I’m just a few years older than that now, and I’m far enough down the road of faith that I can affirm that these words are true.

            Has every moment of serving Jesus been picturesque and easy? Absolutely not. There have been hard sections of the journey. But even in those, it has been sweet to belong to Him. In some of them, I’m not sure how I would have made it through the season if I hadn’t been walking with Him.

            Just yesterday, in fact, as Ryan and I drove to church, I felt the overwhelm of our current season settling in. I was sharing my heart with Ryan about how I was trying so hard to take all things in stride, but sometimes it’s not so easy. And even as I said that, I looked over, and the beginnings of a spectacular sunrise peeked over the horizon. A calm came over me, and I realized that once again, the sweetness grew like a sunrise.

            I can’t fully explain to you how it works. I can only affirm it does. This life I am living with Him is sweet and full of a completeness I don't understand. It is overwhelming in the most beautiful of ways. 

            Life isn’t always easy. But it’s absolutely true that the longer I serve Him, the sweeter He grows.

Sunday Sentiments: Take Time to Look

 

In my Bible study this year, I’m diving deeply into Exodus, and right now I’m studying the plagues. I told Ryan the other night I’m certain I would not have survived them.

            Water turned to blood? No thank you. I’m a really big fan of water. Blood makes me queasy. A whole river of blood? Scrape me up off the pavement.

            Frogs? I can’t even write about that one. Gnats? Disgusting. Flies? See gnats. Dead livestock everywhere? I feel like this would just bring on more gnats and flies. Boils? OUCH. Hail? What a mess! Locusts? Creepy. Darkness? Scared of it. And while I haven’t gotten to the death of the firstborn yet, I wouldn’t welcome that one either.

            But while I study these plagues, I’m paying close attention to the life of Moses. I’ve studied him before, but I am appreciating the new-to-me facets of his life I’m discovering as I read right now.

            One thing that caught my attention for the first time on this study was back in Exodus 3, when Moses saw the burning bush.

            “Moses said, ‘I will turn aside to see this great sight, why the bush is not burned.’ When the Lord saw that he turned aside to see, God called to him out of the bush.”

            The first thing I thought when I read those verses was what if he hadn’t paused to look?

            What if he just kept going about his day and didn’t stop? Think of what he would have missed!

            Moses was willing to pause his day to take note of what God put in his path, and because he did, God called to him and changed the trajectory of his life.

            It made me wonder if I’m walking too quickly through my own life. Not that I think God has an actual burning bush to show me, but He might have other things for me that I absolutely don’t want to miss.

            I pray many things over my life, but right now, I’m praying extra that I will take time to slow down and look around me.  I want to “turn aside to see this great sight” if God puts something in my path.

            Don’t you?