Weddings and Such

We went to a wedding this weekend! The bride and groom are part of our small group, and they kindly invited us to witness their wedding ceremony, which was an honor for us.

It was our first time ever to go to a morning wedding. Have you been to one before? I have to say, I kinda liked it! I'm not sure how early the bridal party had to get up to pull off looking amazing by 11:30, but everyone looked completely put together, so it worked!

We even tried to look put together!

Doesn't Ryan look so handsome???

I had a great aisle seat where I could see everything, and not until partway through the bridal party's entrance did I realize I was also in "that" seat that probably shows up in every one of the photographer's shots. Whoopsie!

Yes. I took a picture during prayer. But I wanted to capture that gorgeous veil!!!

I realized the other two photos are semi-terrible because my PHONE is semi-terrible and because I didn't capture smiling moments. But I've read all the articles about people taking pictures during weddings and annoying the photographer, so I tried to capture when he was clearly busy elsewhere.

But it was just such a beautiful, Christ-centered ceremony! I have a huge soft spot for weddings. I love to celebrate the couple while remembering our own wedding day!

Because it was a morning wedding, the reception was a brunch! They had fruit and biscuits with apple butter waiting on the tables for people to eat while they waited for photos to wrap up, and then they had bacon/scrambled eggs/hash browns/baked oatmeal. It was delicious! And the best part of all? The cake was really individual homemade cinnamon rolls. So so good!

They had decorated the whole place so beautifully and even had homemade jams and jellies for people to take home as favors!

Beautiful wedding and a beautiful couple! We were thankful to be part of the day!

The Shafferland Shuffle

BEST NEWS, everyone! This is the last week before our beautiful time change!! Welcome back, real time. I will be eager to receive you.

Meanwhile, our week! I was challenged to do that daily black and white photo thing on Facebook this week, so you'll see those photos in my collections today! (Along with the explanations I ached to give on Facebook, but it wasn't part of the challenge.)

* My photo last Sunday was from our church service. It was one of those Sundays when sleeping in sounded so wonderful, but church was even better. Also fun on Sunday? Trying out my new veggie spiralizer. It worked even better than I thought it would! And we wrapped up the day by recording our 100th episode of Spill the Beans!

* On Monday, I watched our nephews and niece all day. (Ryan had to take some time to help too, since I still had carpool duties.) It was a cold, nasty, rainy day, so there was much Lego building and movie watching (in jammies) to be had throughout the day! My favorite part was when Ryan came home for lunch, got the kiddos totally wound up, and then went back to work. I gave them a few minutes to wind back down and then inside of five minutes flat, I had both boys down for a two hour nap. No snags!

* Tuesday morning, I spoke at Fairmount Wesleyan Church, for their ladies Bible study. Ryan wasn't with me, so I don't have any in-action pictures, but I did manage to get a picture with the church. Sort of. LOL! On the way home, I stopped at the Hydration Station (this little place about halfway between speaking and home) and got this frosted caramel apple drink. I will not lie: I scraped the sides with a spoon when I was done. MY WORD. What a drink!!

* Wednesday I broke in my new workout shoes! Yay for tread!! :) I had to go to the podiatrist for a follow up to my previous appointment. I wasn't nearly as nervous this time, but I was a bit unnerved at the "Beware" on the wall of the exam room. LOL!!! I posted this B&W on Facebook and that's when the caption would have come in handy. People thought I was sick!

* Thursday morning's workout was a rough one, but we survived it! There wasn't anything particularly monumental about Thursday. Just a regular chore kind of day. Ryan worked on painting boards for our porch repair project, and that night we went out on some errand runs. I end up waiting in the car while he ran into Wal-Mart (because obviously) and then I decided I couldn't figure out which was worse: going in or waiting alone in the car!

* Friday, Ryan took a half day off work to help the guy coming to work on our poor little porch. Unfortunately (as with all Shafferland projects) the removing of exterior boards uncovered much worse rot than we knew. So the project just shot into major overload, and we couldn't finish it this weekend. Sadness. Literal sadness. I cried. It was probably a good thing I already had plans to go to my friend's craft night that night. There were cute cookies there!! (Oh! And the Hallmark Christmas movies started that day. Three cheers!)

* Yesterday was a fun day! Ryan and I went to a wedding...a morning wedding! Two of our small group members were getting married and invited us to be part of their day! It was a beautiful wedding, and my date was so handsome! :) And my feet have forgotten all about boots. Whew! We gotta retrain them!

The Saturday Six

One.

I met Katie Reid at the Speak Up conference this summer, and she proved to be the most delightful soul. :) She wrote this article about Type A people and what they need you to know. Isn't it so Type A of me to share that with you so you can be well-informed?

Two.

Found this (quick!!) video on HGTV about 5 homes that used to be barns. They're all amazing, but all have to say is this: THE BEAMS IN THE FIRST ONE!!!! There aren't enough heart emojis in the world.

Three.

Ummmmm, just a quick PSA! Hallmark Christmas movies started YESTERDAY. So if you need me from now until New Year's or whenever it is that they end, you can find me working from the couch!

Four.

If you're a lover of the road trip, here are ten that are supposedly amazing! I've done exactly none of them, so I can't give you my opinion, but I sure think at least most of them look fun!

Five.

My story-loving, documentation-loving soul shouts a thousand amens to this post from Callie's blog. This is why story matters. To remember His faithfulness from days gone by and look ahead for more of the same.

Six.

Source

They say you should write the books you want to want to read. And I do try. My goal as a writer is to only write the things I would truly want to read - things that spark a passion within me. But sometimes I want to read what I would say...and let someone else do the saying.

Enter Fiercehearted by Holley Gerth. I will start by saying I have come to really appreciate Holley. I love her other books, her cards, her little flip calendars, her blogs, her tweets; basically any words she writes are worth reading in my opinion. So I was excited about a new book from her. And while her unmistakable storytelling was present, it felt like a new piece of Holley in this book. Up a notch, I'd say. A new level of vulnerability and raw emotion.

Fiercehearted is more like a collection of essays, so while you certainly can read the whole book straight through like a story, you can also break it up a chapter at a time and read little pieces of her heart and soul. This book is packed with practical life advice from a dear friend (or older sister, depending on your age) that will be far more helpful to your every day than any list of facts you memorized in school.

In this book, Holley talks about the really hard stuff of life: the disappointments, the failures, the flaws, and she also talks about the mundane and why we were meant for more of that and less of the limelight. She bravely shares her own journey, filled with the hurts of infertility and battles with depression alongside her beautiful writing career that has been such a blessing to so many.

I think one of my favorite goose-bump inducing chapters came at the very end, when she shared a letter of advice to someone of college graduation age. Oh, how I wished I had received that very letter when I graduated from college! Among other things, within that letter, Holley says, "Moving forward is not really about getting a job. You already  have a job. It is to become all God created you to be. You've had it since you drew in your first breath and you'll have it until you release your last. Everything in between is just about assignments, different experiences that will help with the becoming." YES! Oh, yes.

Holley speaks with the (deserved) authority of someone who has walked the road and genuinely wants to help those who come behind her. But she also speaks with the vulnerability of a friend who isn't afraid to tell you she hasn't lived perfectly and made all the right decisions.

This book was such a boost to me in the right-now of my life. As I make decisions in my own life for the future of not only myself, but also my work, her advice is timely. I soaked in every word eagerly. Underlining, starring, agreeing with passage after passage.

Fiercehearted is a great choice for anyone struggling to find their footing, anyone facing a new season of life, and anyone who just needs to know someone else understands.

* Revell sent me a copy of this book at no charge. All opinions are my own! *

The Middle Matters

I noticed a recurring theme this week, so I figured that meant enough of us wrestled with it to warrant a full post on the matter.

The truth of it smacked me in the middle of an email I had with one of you in the middle of a hard place. (Hi to you, my friend!) I don't have permission to share your story and certainly want to honor your confidence in me, so I'll just say to everyone else reading along that your life is hard in all the ways right now. All the legitimate, heart-breaking, not-just-a-lousy-day kind of ways. And you said to me that you know it will all be okay in the end, but the middle is hard.

I have a lot of friends in the middle right now. I've even visited the middle a few times recently. You know what I mean, right? Whatever is hard about life has settled in. There's no skirting around it. The road has unmistakably taken you through the valley rather than blissfully around it. You can't avoid it. But the end is still a mystery. You don't know what it will look like or when it will arrive. It might show up tomorrow, or it might show up much later than either of us wants to think about right now.

So all you have is your messy, muddy middle, and you're not sure what to do with it. Do you cry? Do you laugh to keep from crying? Do you vent? Do you just exist and hope you make it? Do you do a little of each?

In my email conversation, I had no wisdom. My friend who wrote to me knew all the answers, and she was right about each one of them. So I guess it's perhaps more accurate to say my wisdom wasn't needed. She already had what she needed there. I think (I hope!) what she needed was a word-hug and someone who would sit with her and say "This is hard. It just stinks. God is faithful, for sure, but this middle isn't fun." It's not wallowing. It's just acknowledging the hurt without fixing it, because that kind of hurt can't be fixed. Sometimes you just sit and acknowledge.

In another part of my life this week, a friend of mine was in the middle of another kind of hurt. A health-battle induced hurt. Words carelessly spoken over her that left her questioning everything she was doing, even though she was careful to do all she could to be her own best kind of healthy.

I'm not sure what came over me, and I'm quite sure if I'd given it more thought, I would have handled it entirely differently, but I brought out sassy-Bekah. Finger-wagging, bark-worse-than-bite, big-talking Bekah delivered a speech of what I would say in that situation, both of us knowing full well that if I'd actually been there in the moment, I would have crawled under the table and been rendered mute. But something about the delivery and the monologue of what we both really wanted to say made her start giggling. And for about five minutes, she just sat and laughed. Fueled by her delight, I wagged my finger harder and came up with more great comeback lines I would never dream of actually using.

When we parted ways, she said, "You made me laugh. I needed that." Her messy middle place hasn't changed. All the self-questioning remains. But in that moment, she needed to laugh, and I managed to help her find some joy.

Last weekend, it was my turn. I was wallowing, right in a big old pit of feeling invisible, inadequate, insecure, and all the other ins. I had just cause for my feelings, and I had prayed over my own reactions, trying to respond with grace. I wasn't losing the battle, but I was tired. It was the kind of tired where my mind had been utterly depleted, and my body followed. I felt achy all over, and I knew it wasn't the flu.

My messy middle wasn't lost to Ryan, even if he wanted it to be. I met him at the door when he came home from work and unloaded the entire story. And bless his heart, he took me out for dinner. Gave me the night off from meal prep. Then he took me shopping, bought me new shoes, wandered around TJ Maxx with me, took me for coffee, and let me have a whole evening to recharge.

It wasn't about the food and the shoes (I mean, mostly). It was that he countered the lies I'd been wallowing in all day. He saw me when I felt invisible. The inadequacy, the insecurity - he saw it all and made me his priority. That was healing to my heart. My messes are still there. The messages are still coming rapid-fire, but the boost of the evening recharged me to move forward.

The messy middle can require many things. It might require a good cry. A long hug. Ice cream. New shoes. Laughter. A simple, "I see you. You matter."

If you're in a messy middle today, please know that it matters. And so do you. Don't push past the middle on a sprint for the end. Let God do His work in the middle. He sees your struggle and will send the people you need to be His hands and feet!

Photo Fun!!!!

When you get engaged in the fall and proceed to get married two months later, your engagement photo shoot is CLEARLY a fall session. No other option for that! We've made it a tradition to get new photos taken each fall, and contrary to popular opinion, it's not (entirely) for the purpose of capturing my ever-evolving hair cut and color. (Though there is that...)

We just received our photos and while I'll save out the few we're considering for our Christmas card, I thought I'd share some of them here! We ended up having a nearly-perfect weather night for our pictures, which was SUCH a blessing. The first appointment we had fell on a nasty, nasty, nasty day: cold, rainy, windy. All of it. So we rescheduled, and though we were running out of time, our last ditch effort to have pictures taken instead of tripoding them ourselves actually worked!

Barbara Sanders from Creationfoto Photography took them for us. Neither of us had anywhere else to be that evening, so we were able to take our time and get all the best sunlight!

We started out in a little park/trail area that I didn't even know existed near Kokomo.

This little blanket was one of the photographer's props, and I won't lie: I kind of wanted to bring it home! It was so cute!

The photographer posted an album of preview pictures on Facebook, and one of my friends (Hi, Karen!) commented on my dancing skills. I told her that I was actually so terrible that we had to do multiple takes to get the shots we did. By the end, I was tripping all over my feet and holding my head, because I was so dizzy. So if I look like I'm leaning into Ryan, I can assure you I'm actually falling 100% dead weight against him and it just looks effortless.

I wish I could remember what we were laughing about!

Classic Shaffer.

 This was just about my favorite one, but because we are not serious people as a general rule, I'm not going to use it on our card. So that means I get to use it here! YAY! I love this one so much.

I got this next one as a preview photo, and I happened to be watching our niece and nephews when it arrived. They wanted to see it and one of them said, "YOU WENT FISHING????" I said, "No, but we are on a fishing pier!" I think the photo lost its appeal to him once he found out it was all fake.

At the very end of the shoot, we moved to a field down the road a bit. The road happened to be a detour for a major highway, so TONS of cars/trucks/semis went by while she was taking pictures of us. We got some pretty funny looks, all dressed up in a weed field while a photographer stood in said field on a step stool!

So there you have it! A little peek at our photo fun! Hope you enjoyed!


(Obviously, all photo credit goes to Barbara Sanders: her Facebook link is above!)

Linking up with Tamar!

Walk a Mile in My Shoes Wednesday: Organ Donation/Transplants

Last week I told you I have two friends who have been with me since before kindergarten. You met Amber last week (the amazing artist who etches monuments) and this week I'd like to introduce you to Pat! Story hour friendships run deep, and Pat and I are proof of that!

Actually, I'm just really really grateful to still have Pat here as part of my life, because he has had quite a go of it with his health, starting at a very early age. Pat has received not just one, but two kidney transplants in his life, and as a result, he is (obviously) very passionate about educating others on organ donation.

While one of my WBCL co-workers was a kidney donor (before I went to work there), Pat is the only person I know who has received an organ transplant, and I asked if he'd share with us not just his own experiences, but why we should consider (and not be afraid of) organ donation!

Pat is 40 years old (and I'm not far behind him, so that is not old) and had his first transplant in November of 1989 when we were sixth graders. That kidney came from a living donor, which as you know, is not possible for all organ transplants. (People kind of need to hang onto their hearts for the long haul.) Pat's dad was actually his first donor!

He did really well after that transplant, but over time, the kidney began to stop functioning, so in January of 2016, he had a second kidney transplant. This transplant came to him a bit differently. Many people were tested to see if they were a match (Ryan even went through the testing process to see if he could donate to Pat!) and the answer came through Pat's sister's father-in-law. He actually was not a match for Pat, but he donated his kidney to a complete stranger, who was on a waiting list somewhere else, and that donation made Pat eligible to receive a kidney from an altruistic donor (a.k.a. kind, anonymous soul) elsewhere. I didn't even know those kinds of options existed!

Here are two pictures Pat sent...one from each transplant. I think you can tell which came from which year. :)

Here are some things Pat would love for people to know about transplants/organ donation. (Some are unique to kidney transplants and/or his particular situation.)

1. Yes, he had major surgery, but once he recovered, he looked just like everyone else.

When people see Pat walking around living life, they see no obvious signs that he's been through a major surgical procedure. He acknowledges that he has been very fortunate, because many organ transplant recipients actually do face day-to-day life-impacting issues. Of course, he does have to take medications every day, at very specific times of the day, and that is vital to maintaining a healthy kidney. He knows the gift he's been given at this new chapter of life and is meticulous about doing everything he can to keep it good and healthy for many years to come. Even so, he can do almost anything a normal person can do, except play contact sports. (He wanted you to know that was solely responsible for derailing the pro football career of his 5'4"/135 pound self! Ha!)

2. Care goes far beyond surgery day. 

You might think that an organ transplant recipient goes into the hospital, undergoes the operation, recovers, and other than taking the anti-rejection meds, they don't need to do anything else! Pat did note that modern medicine made some significant advances in the quarter of a century that passed between his two transplants. The first time, he stayed in the hospital for a whole month after surgery. The second time, they kept him two and a half days! Wow!

Once released the second time, though, he went home and took it easy while he recovered. In the early stages, he went twice a week for routine blood work to make sure everything was progressing nicely, and he had clinic visits, where he saw his doctor. Once he began to stabilize, his visits became less frequent. Pat's 2 year transplantversary is coming up in January, and currently he travels about an hour away to a larger hospital every three months for a checkup and every month and a half, he has blood work done locally.

3. Fun fact: his kidneys have a different home than yours do!

Just in case you don't know, your kidneys are located around your lower back...but Pat's kidneys are located in the front of his body! (That is the inspiration for the no contact sports rule.) In his case, the transplanted kidneys are on both sides of his belly button. He said people often think someone who receives a kidney transplant have their own failed kidneys removed and replaced with new ones, but such a procedure would create an incredible amount of stress on the body. (He said that may not be every single transplant recipient's story, but it's still a common truth.) Another fun fact: Pat has four kidneys! His original, failing kidneys were never removed, but he's been told since they were actually shrinking, they're probably actually no longer in existence today.

4. There are transplant options for those in need!

Pat said if your loved one is in a situation where a kidney is needed and everyone has been tested, but no matches have been found, don't despair! There are other options! He said he has been incredibly fortunate, because when he was in need of a kidney back in 1989, his entire family was tested and matched, and they just had to choose who would become the donor. The second time he needed a kidney, several were tested, and his sister's father-in-law was actually a match until the very last step of the process. That's where the alternative plan came into play, and it didn't even exist back in 1989!

Pat sat down with pre-transplant coordinators and discussed an option called paired donation. On this list, Pat's donor's kidney went to Person A on the list, and Person A's donor kidney went to Pat. What a blessing! Two months after Pat was placed on the donor list, he got the call that he was matched!

5. Organ donation is KEY!

Obviously, Pat is very passionate about organ donation since he's received a fresh start in life twice from those willing to donate. He is a transplant live organ donation advocate and knows firsthand how important it is for people to make the decision to become a donor. He says there are many misconceptions about live organ donation, and he wants to make sure people investigate the information they receive to learn what's true and what is just a myth. (For example: some might tell you that if you are an organ donor and you have a medical emergency, you won't receive extensive care from ambulance personnel. Not true!)

If you aren't registered as an organ donor, you can update that the next time you renew your driver's license. Just mark that you want to be an organ donor and then make sure your family members know your wishes!


I know it's a big and scary thing to consider (I know because I was prepared to be tested to see if I matched Pat, too, and it was really overwhelming to me at first!) but what an incredible gift you can offer if you're willing to consider organ donation! I'm so glad Pat's donors were willing to give sacrificially so he can be here and healthy today!

(One more picture: Pat with his favorite nurse and his sister's father-in-law!) 


To catch up on other "Walk a Mile in My Shoes" posts, look here!

Linking up with Tamar!

Fall Fun with Ryan

Exciting days for Spill the Beans this week! This is our ONE HUNDREDTH episode! Can you even believe it? We had all kinds of fun celebrating the number 100 this week. Enjoy!!! Thanks for being in our Spill the Beans family!

 Listen here!

This little blog is called Shafferland, which means Ryan should get as much blog-time as I do! Yesterday I shared with you a fun fall quiz I'd taken, and I thought it would be right and fair to share Ryan's answers, too! So today, it's the Tuesday funday list with Ryan! :) In all fairness, the quiz is kind of girly, so he gave me some odd looks on some of the questions. LOL! But he's a good sport.

1. Favorite Fall Sweet Treat?  Candy corn and peanuts! (He waited approximately .00002 seconds before giving me that answer.) He says they remind him of his childhood, because his mom always had that mix in a dish when he was a kid. He said his mom added red hots to her mix, but he didn't like those, so he spit them back in the bowl. JUST KIDDING. He picked around them.

2. Red, Yellow or Green Apples? He likes red apples the best because they are sweeter than green and yellow. He doesn't like tart apples, or tart anything for that matter. Whew. Good thing I'm so sweet all the time. (HA!!!)

3. Favorite Fall Sport to Play? He was only allowed to play one sport a year, and he picked wrestling, so that was a winter sport. But in his opinion, there is only one fall sport, and that is obviously football.

4. Best Drink for Fall? Spiced cider! It's his favorite.

5. Favorite Fall Activity? Watching football. (Boy, isn't that the truth!!! Although his team is on the struggle bus this week. Actually, I'm not sure they've found the struggle bus to even get on it.)

6. Must Have Fall Purchase? He doesn't think he has one. That's so sad. I have failed him.

7. Pumpkins: Pick Your Own or Store Bought? It's always fun to pick your own, he says, so you can choose your own one-of-a-kind pumpkin. But in full disclosure, he likes the store-bought kind because they're cheaper. LOL!

8. Real or Fake Pumpkin? He likes real pumpkins. He just doesn't like the mess of them. (This may be why we don't have an annual carving tradition.) He likes to bake the pumpkin seeds and then eat them! But to do that, you have to make the mess, so it's all just a vicious cycle.

9. Favorite Halloween Costume? He said his favorite was the year he was Mr. Clean! YAY!!! I won the best costume idea! He said the hardest part of his Mr. Clean portrayal was the speaking, because Mr. Clean doesn't say much, and Ryan tends to be...ahem...vocal.

10. College Football or NFL? NFL, because he's not usually free on Saturdays to watch the college games.

11. Fall or Halloween Decor? Fall. He doesn't get into Halloween decor. (I did suggest we purchase a 10 foot inflatable ghost for our front yard. I was kidding. I gathered from his reaction that was good.)

12. Raking Leaves or No Leaves to Rake? He doesn't like to rake leaves, but he does like the smell of burning leaves. (And I'll add that he enjoys jumping in a pile of raked leaves. Or pushing me into said pile. But not while it's on fire.)

13. Favorite soup? Chili. (And he makes really good chili!)

14. Favorite fall candle scent? "I don't know...do they have different fall scents?" He finally settled on "fall smell candle." So if you can find one of those, get him one.

15. Love or Hate Pumpkin Spice? Not really a fan. It's so overdone. (Truth! Don't they have pumpkin spice potato chips? Too far.)

16. Short Booties or Tall Boots? He doesn't wear boots, because his feet aren't pie shaped. But he does like pumpkin pie. (How's that for answer derailing?)

17. Favorite Halloween Candy? He already said! Candy corn and peanuts! "These questions are flabbergasting. What in the world!"

18. Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) Yes or No? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! (Hey, that was the same as my answer!) He will stick with his white chocolate mocha.

19. Hayride or Corn Maze? Corn maze.

20. Favorite Fall TV Show? Well, so far all ours are still on the DVR. Football has dominated our screen. But when we get to them, he picks Blindspot.


This concludes question time with Ryan! Let me know if you'd like us to send you any of our special peanut/candy corn/red hot mix! He packs it himself. With love. ;)

Fall Funday Monday.

I found this list over on Sarah's blog a few weeks ago and thought it might be fun to do once I was done recapping all the busyness that has been our October! :) So here I am! A Monday funday list to start your week!

1. Favorite Fall Sweet Treat? I do love a good pumpkin flavored anything (except PSL, which apparently I stand alone in not liking) but I also eat a LOT of pumpkin stuff, so it kind of doesn't feel like a true treat anymore. For that reason, I'm going with an apple dumpling from Cracker Barrel. The kind that so fills me up, I'm absolutely miserable. That is a good dumpling.

2. Red, Yellow or Green Apples? It's a mental thing for me. Apples have to be red. I do like the flavor of some green apples (like a Granny Smith) in cooking, but to just straight up eat an apple, it has to be red and crispy or I just can't do it.

3. Favorite Fall Sport to Play? Scrapbooking of course. Wait. What? That's not a sport? But I do it during football games! Of course it's a sport!

4. Best Drink for Fall? My true favorite is the Apple Pie Chai from McConn at IWU. (This I learned on our vacation. Not all apple pie chais are equal.) But I also dearly love the salted caramel mocha from Starbucks. Mmmmmmmmm.

5. Favorite Fall Activity? Gathering around a fire pit for s'mores and coffee.

6. Must Have Fall Purchase? Mums. Ours this year are HUGE!

7. Pumpkins: Pick Your Own or Store Bought? I have picked my own before and really loved it. Sadly it seems that around here, they're more expensive at u-pick patches, so I usually buy mine at the store. Also sadly, this year we never got any. This may be a first!

8. Real or Fake Pumpkin? I would say real, though we do have some fake ones inside, and I love those, too.

9. Favorite Halloween Costume? For me, (and I think I've talked about this on here before) it was my 6th grade year when I had broken my leg and was in a cast and on crutches. Mom was in a real pickle about what to do with me. So we bandaged my head, ripped up a shirt, put some lipstick blood on, and I wore a sign that says, "You should see the other guy." For Ryan, it was two years ago when we dressed him up as Mr. Clean. He rocked it.

10. College Football or NFL? Scrapbooking.

11. Fall or Halloween Decor? Fall. We actually don't really "do" Halloween. I like to dress Ryan up for work to cheer the patients, and I usually make some cookies. But I don't get into Halloween and certainly not into the dark side of it. So just fall.

12. Raking Leaves or No Leaves to Rake? After spending 15 years in a house with the biggest mature tree in the world in the backyard, I am loving our new home with just one tree that doesn't drop its leaves in the fall. Woot woot! I hate raking!

13. Favorite soup? White chicken chili.  Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

14. Favorite fall candle scent? Anything with a spice smell to it.

15. Love or Hate Pumpkin Spice? The drink? Hate. The actual spice in cookies or muffins? Love.

16. Short Booties or Tall Boots? Tall. All the way.

17. Favorite Halloween Candy? Candy corn and peanuts. That's really more of a fall candy, but I'm sticking with it.

18. Pumpkin Spice Latte (PSL) Yes or No? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

19. Hayride or Corn Maze? How bout a hayride TO the corn maze? I love both!

20. Favorite Fall TV Show? I don't think I have one. Womp, Womp.OH! Wait. Ryan reminded me that I love Life in Pieces. That's true. I do love that one.

The Shafferland Shuffle

Fall break is over...sigh. Back to regularly schedule programming tomorrow! (Well. Mostly. Is there such a thing as regular around here?)

* After church last Sunday, we had to stop by Sam's club real fast for some yogurt (canNOT run out of that!) and they were giving away samples. Not of yogurt. But of soup and other treats. So that's how we stayed pleasant between church and lunch. (HA!) It was a lovely day of scrapbooking, football, and naps that led to rather ridiculous hair. Obviously that last part was just for me.

* This was the week of WHAT IN THE WORLD moments, beginning on Monday, when I took our little grill out to the porch to make chicken, and when I went BACK out, five minutes after plugging it in, I discovered a dead mouse right next to it. So clearly I texted Ryan immediately and told him we would need to put the house up for sale (also immediately). I also did not use the grill (obviously) and just cooked the chicken o the stove. I spent the ENTIRE DAY editing podcasts. Whew! And that night, Ryan spent some time in prayer...just kidding. That's a nap he's taking there. But it looks pretty prayerful, doesn't it?

* Tuesday was the start of my personal planning retreat, and Ryan (bless him) got up super early, drove to Starbucks to get my favorite latte, and even picked up a donut for me on the way home. Wasn't that so nice? I spent the entire day planning, praying, and dreaming. It was one of my favorite days. We had our small group meeting that night, too. We love hearing all their thoughts and discussion: challenging and convicting!

* Wednesday was retreat day #2, and Braeya decided to help by sitting on my hands while I attempted to write. Of course. I worked on next year's planner (swoon) and really finished the retreat well! Meanwhile, big party at Ryan's work! Look at that CAKE! (Also swoon-worthy.)

* Thursday I had a cooking first. Fresh mozzarella! I've never cooked with it before! Caprese chicken recipe called for fresh mozzarella and fresh garden tomatoes. Delish! (We're still cooking Dashing Dish recipes.) That night was picture night for us, and it was even iron-worthy. WHOA! We got all dressed up and had a great time with our photo shoot. Can't wait to show you those pictures! (Also, we stopped at Aldi's on the way home and were THE most overdressed people there.)

* Friday: this is Braeya's face when I have a glass of milk and she wants it. I won, by the way. After work, we drove to Muncie to have dinner with some friends of ours who live over there. (They have five kids, so we were very entertained the whole evening!) Obviously we needed coffee for the way home, so we Googled the closest Starbucks, made sure they were open, and drove there. All the lights were off. Not cool! Just as we were pulled over to look up the next closest location, we saw a car pull in and the driver went inside. So we went in too - and it turns out all their outside lights are just broken. What in the world!!!?? We were glad the guy showed up when he did, so we didn't have to chase down a new store!

* Yesterday concluded our what in the world week: I was driving behind a truck with a precariously perched hay load, so I was keeping my distance. Then the aforementioned hay CAUGHT ON FIRE! ON HIS TRUCK! I detoured. I went to a fun little vendor market with my friend Amber, and then last night, Ryan and I had a date night...dinner, shopping, coffee, the whole nine yards! And yes, those are giant tiles Ryan's lugging through Lowe's. We got some fun looks! 

The Saturday Six

One.

Listen here!

Well this was just a treat! I've been enjoying Irene Hannon's books for a few years now - both her romance and her suspense. Never dreamed I'd have the chance to just sit down and talk with her, but I sure did! She's as compelling in conversation as she is on paper. Loved hearing about her writing life, her dreams, and even about her date nights with her husband! (YAY!) Hope you can listen in, and then for goodness' sake, go get all her books and read them. There are over fifty. Winter's coming. You have time. :)

Two.

This is kind of a comment and a question all in one! This week, I happened upon the Roadtrippers website. Have any of you used this - or the companion app? Have I been living under a major rock? If you have used it and have reviews for me on it, I'd love to hear! If you haven't used it, check it out! I (clearly) am not well-versed in it, but it looks like an interesting way to find fun stops on trips!

Three.

You know I'm a big Little House on the Prairie junkie, and I had fun reading these bits of trivia about Michael Landon and his work in developing the books into a television series!

Four.

Beautiful article from Dayspring about staying filled with the Spirit during the busyness of the holidays. You may not be ready to think about the holidays yet, but this is an area where preparation could really make all the difference!

Five.

Have some time this weekend? The Christian Fiction Scavenger hunt is underway! These are always so much fun, and there's a chance to win prizes, so three cheers for that! Here's the starting link!

Six.

Source

Well, I have been looking forward to telling you about this book for a few weeks now, but I had to do that whole exercise patience thing while it, you know, released. :) Actually, I read on the author's Facebook page this week that the official release date is November 9th, but she has some copies she's already sending out, and I'm too excited to wait any longer, so I'm introducing you to this book today!

I met LuAnn Gerig Fulton back when I worked at WBCL. Actually we met over email! :) She ended up connecting me with her daughter, who has become a dear friend to me, and LuAnn and I have stayed in contact too, even after I left the station. A few years ago, LuAnn wrote a book called Image Seeker, which Ryan and I read together in our devotions a few months ago, and we really enjoyed it.

So when LuAnn told me she was writing a second devotional and gave me the chance to read it early, of course I said yes! Ask Me About My Jesus is her new 90 day devotional, and I want to tell you why I love this boook.

One of the key themes in our household this year, spearheaded by Ryan, who has been very convicted about this in his own walk with the Lord, is to be bold in our faith. God has been bringing this subject up to us repeatedly, reminding us of the importance of telling others about Jesus and why we choose to serve and love Him. Not beating them down with preachy talk, but just genuinely sharing our faith in natural conversation.

And this is what LuAnn writes about in her book. First, she explains the importance of understanding why your relationship with God must be your own. You can't ride along on your parents' faith or anyone else's for that matter. This is your own faith to establish and mature. Once you have done that, you need to be aware of those around you who may not know Him yet and be eager to introduce them to Him!

It's no secret that I love story. I feel like it is the best way to make a connection with other people. You can lose people when you start wading in theological, academic Christianese. Some people feel threatened by that. But when you can just share your story and enthusiastically relate in a personal experience way, you have the opportunity to share your passion without preaching.

That's what LuAnn does in this book. Each daily reading is part of her story. You get to know her heart and her journey, day by day. You relate with her experiences and begin to understand why Jesus means so much to her! She concludes each day with a prayer that challenges you to move forward in sharing your faith!

While this is certainly a great read for any believer, I especially love this for new Christians or those who feel a bit insecure in their understanding of the faith. LuAnn's tender story-based teaching is a great encouragement for growth!

Christmas is coming...this would be a great gift idea! Devos for the new year!

** LuAnn provided a copy of the book to me, but all opinions are my own! **

How I Planned My Personal Retreat

When you work independently, you have to become creative and intentional about, well, pretty much everything! You have to be sure you're motivated to actually work, find ways to manage your time well, and I think it's equally important to be accountable for what you've done while prayerfully planning for what comes next.

This week I took two (plus) days for a personal/business retreat. I started this practice last fall, and that adventure was a semi-disaster. I learned from it, though, and I tackled this year's attempt with a bit more organization and thought. It went very well this time, and I had a question on Instagram about how I go about accomplishing my retreats, so I'm taking this day to tell you!

I would like to add that you do not have to be independently employed to do something like this. I think everyone can benefit from a personal retreat. You could reflect/dream about your daily life, your marriage, your parenting, your hobbies, or just about anything. I think the whole idea is just great self-care.

Here are my tips for retreating well.

1. Choose a time frame and treat it like an appointment.

Weeks ago, I looked at the calendar and decided our school system's fall break would be the best time for me to retreat. I know, I know. I don't have kids! Why does it matter? Well, I drive kids to school, and I volunteer in a school. Fall break meant no commitments, and that freed me up to have full, uninterrupted days to focus on my adventure. I chose two days and wrote them in ink on the calendar. Several times after doing so, I was approached to participate in various things, and though some were sorely tempting, I treated those days as iron-clad commitments. No speaking engagements. No get-togethers. Those were my retreat days and they mattered. I also put a time frame around it. Basically I retreated while Ryan was at work. My evenings were still free to spend with him or to do whatever was necessary in my regular life.


2. Find the best location for you, and stay off the grid.

Last year, I retreated to a coffee shop. I mean, why not? I love coffee, and isn't it all kinds of trendy to take your work to a coffee shop? It was a disaster. (For me.) First of all, I was sick, so I spent most of the morning coughing and worrying that I was bothering those around me. Secondly, I sat next to a table of older ladies who had NO inside voices, so I found myself overcome by their loud conversations. I also worried I was staying too long and not buying enough. Basically I was thoroughly distracted.


Since we don't have kids, home is actually a quiet place for me, and I decided this year to retreat at home. That way I had access to everything I might need: Bibles, journals, my printer, my books, pens, highlighters. I didn't have to pack anything. Another bonus for me was that I could walk the house and pray out loud throughout the retreat, and I didn't bother anyone. (It might be a bit distracting at a coffee shop.)

Other than being available to Ryan, I stayed off the grid for my retreat. I didn't email, Facebook, Instagram, tweet, text, or answer the phone during my retreat hours. I did get online to look up resources related to my retreat, but I wasn't social.

3. Have a prayer team going.

I actually have a great group of people who pray over me and the work I do (regularly) and I emailed them before the retreat to see if they could lift me up in prayer as I came to mind throughout those days. Some of them texted to let me know I was on their minds, and I appreciated that, but it didn't matter to me whether or not I heard from them. It was good to know I could reach out to ask for prayer, and I trusted God to remind them as HE felt necessary.


Ryan was also SO great to me throughout my retreat. Not only did he pray for me, but the first day, he got up super early, drove to Starbucks to get my favorite latte, and stopped for a donut treat for me, too. (We rarely get donuts, so it was like Christmas morning.) I know filling me with sugar might cause some to raise an eyebrow, but it wasn't about the treats themselves. It was about knowing he understood this retreat was important to me and how he showed love through bringing me some of my favorite things. It meant more than I think he even knows.

4. Don't have an agenda. 

Don't get me wrong: I did prepare for this. For a few weeks leading up to my retreat, I jotted down quotes and Bible verses that I felt would be helpful in guiding me through the days. I purchased a couple of planning workbooks from Etsy to sort of lead me in an organized fashion. But I went in with no agenda and no expectations.


I began my days by reading praise Psalms, listening to praise songs, praying out loud, confessing, and thanking God for the blessings I've enjoyed in the past year. I knew I wanted to reflect on where I'd been and dream about where I'm going, but I let God lead it from there. I didn't have time frames, and I didn't rush it. I just took my time and let each "season" of the retreat happen naturally. Some parts took longer than others and that's okay! Sometimes I was just on my knees listening, I actually took a couple of short naps, and I listened to a decent amount of inspiring music!

5. Take notes.

I wrote down verses, songs, and ideas that came to mind, so I wouldn't forget them later. I made both general notes and very specific notes of things I need to do later or sites I need to visit. This is both a chronicle of my time (for posterity) and a list to jump-start me in my work starting next week.


6. Don't think of the retreat as officially over.

I feel this is the biggest downfall of all retreats ever, anywhere. I hear this often when I attend or speak at an organized retreat: This was such an amazing time, and now I have to go back to reality. It's like all the important work accomplished through the set-apart time of a retreat fizzles the moment daily reality returns. I think that defeats the entire purpose of a retreat!

My retreat time "ended" after two days, but on the third day, when I got up and had to do laundry and prepare lunch and record a podcast, I continued to marinate on the goodness of the retreat days. I continued to think about the ideas that had begun to form. I continued to make my lists and carry on the good work I had begun in those days. I was excited to put my plans into action and enjoy all that had begun in the solitude of those two days.


So those are my thoughts and tips on retreating. I know if you have kids, there's a whole extra level of complication, because you're needed at home - even if it is fall break! Maybe especially if it's fall break! Maybe for you, retreats have to happen away, at a hotel or a friend's house. Or maybe the kids need to go stay with grandparents so you can have the house to yourself. I realize it might be tough, but I think there's much value in this solitude that results in you being the best (wife, mom, worker, fill-in-the-blank) that you can be. Worth it!