Flashback Friday: Writing Your Story One Week at a Time

 

When Ryan and I talk about growing up in the same town, living not that far from each other, and yet not really being friends back in those days, we have to explain to people what we were like in high school. For Ryan, it’s not that much different than what he’s like now. For me? A marked difference.

            When writing about your life, you should include a little bit about what your life was like in high school. It might not hold the fondest of memories, but it’s worth documenting. Times change so much in such a short time. The life of a high school student today vs. 20 years ago vs. 40 years ago…wow! Huge changes.

            So what was life like for you in high school?

·         What kind of job did you have?

·         What kind of school did you attend? (Public, Private, Homeschool)

·         How did you get to school?

·         What kinds of classes did you take?

·         What was homework like?

·         How did you dress?

·         What extracurriculars were you involved in?

I grew up in a small town and went to public school, but my class was the smallest in the school. There were 80 students in my graduating class, and most of them were boys. The classes above and below us were larger and highly academic. Had I landed in either of those classes, I would have faded into academic oblivion, but I was able to hold my own in my graduating class.

At that time, our elementary school held grades K-6 and the middle and high schools were combined into a singular building. Our middle school was located in the upstairs of a wing of classrooms, with the high school classes spread throughout the main floor of the building. Because my parents worked at the school, I rode with them until I got my license, and then I sometimes drove myself to school – especially if I needed to stay late for something or go to a babysitting job after school let out.

My goal was to get the best grades I could, so I took the easiest classes possible to try to succeed. I loved all four years of English/Language Arts and did very well in those classes. (No surprise there, right?) Math was a challenge. I tried Algebra and managed to pass without learning anything. Same for Geometry. I finished my 3 years of math with Consumer Math which was the easy way out, but it was also the best and most practical math class I ever took. I still believe all students should have taken it. I did okay in Biology, though my teacher didn’t like me. I took Chemistry and was issued a passing grade. I did not earn it. It was pure grace. I don’t think I took any other science, and looking back now, I wonder if I would have done better if I’d had teachers whose teaching styles I better understood.

I did well in the history/geography classes, but I didn’t enjoy them. My favorite classes were ALL the home economics classes. I took everything they offered in my four years there. I also loved typing, and yes, that was on an actual typewriter with corrective tape and the whole bit. I enjoyed yearbook and would have loved it if the teacher had known what she was doing. (She was a first year teacher who had zero training in this subject and had no idea how to teach it. She would tell you that herself.)

We studied from textbooks, not tablets. I hauled them around in my backpack and stored them in the bottom of my locker. Notebooks, RSVP pens, index cards for term papers….ahhh. The library got the internet at the very end of my high school career, but I never learned how to use it until college.

We had homework nearly every night, and I hated it. Well, unless it involved writing. Then it wasn’t so bad.

I wasn’t involved in much outside of school. I did manage the baseball team my senior year. That was about it. I was also terribly shy and rarely made eye contact with anyone who wasn’t a close friend. (This is how Ryan and I never managed to strike up a friendship back then.) I always had my nose in a book or just sat on the sideline hoping not to be noticed.

Bullies were a thing, though we didn’t know to call them that. I had a few. They were awful. I can’t imagine how much worse it would have been had social media existed. For as much as I love it now, I’m glad it wasn’t part of my life then.

I was so glad to graduate. I was sure college would be a fresh start for me, and in many, many ways, it was. You couldn’t pay me to go back. Even with taxes, I’ll take adulthood! 😊

How about you? What was high school like in your world?

Routinely Speaking: Laundry

 

Back in January I shared with you my routine for skin care, and then last month I told you about my makeup. I thought this month I might tell you about my laundry routine!

            THE SCHEDULE:

            How often do you do laundry? It’s just the two of us, so we don’t have to do it super often. I wash clothes on Mondays and Thursdays, towels on Thursdays, and sheets/blankets on Saturdays. Then we wash extra loads whenever the need arises. (Like when the cat throws up on the bed, for example.)

            SORTING:

            We have two laundry baskets in our bedroom. We purchased them several years ago in the Aldi aisle of shame, so I don’t have a link to it. But it would be similar to this. One holds clothes and one holds towels. That is the extent of my sorting. I don’t sort clothes by colors. Everything gets tossed in together, and only upon extremely rare occasion has that been a bad idea. (And I’ve been able to salvage said bad ideas.) Ryan and I toss things into the appropriate baskets daily and then I just tote the whole basket to the washer when it’s time to do the laundry.

            WASHING:

            When we first got married, we used regular, scented laundry detergent. Somewhere along the way, we switched to fragrance and dye-free detergents, and for a while, I tried making my own. We didn’t feel like things were getting clean enough, so we went back to fragrance and dye free. Then last year, after reading about it on several accounts I follow, we purchased a BranchBasics cleaning kit. The kit comes with a bottle of concentrate, and depending on how you dilute it, it can be used to clean everything from fruit to bathrooms. There is a bottle for laundry detergent, as you can see below. You pour water in up to the water line, pour concentrate up to the soap line – and you’re ready!

            There are also bags of oxygen boost powders that are free of bleach, ammonia, fragrances, and dyes. I pour mine into this little jar I got at Walmart, so it looks prettier on the shelf than a bag, and then I refill the jar when it gets low.

            When it’s time to do laundry, I sprinkle some of the oxygen boost in the bottom of the washer and put a capful of detergent in the soap dispenser. We’ve been using this for almost a full year now and have no complaints about how well it works!

            DRYING:

            We stopped using dryer sheets a while ago and started using wool dryer balls. It’s actually about time to replace ours again. I’m not sure if these are the exact ones we’ve gotten, but they’re similar, anyway.

            When we first got married, we used a gift card from our wedding to purchase this drying rack, which we use for jeans, sweaters, and other things that shouldn’t go through the dryer. I love it because it folds up nicely for storage and has a top rack for hanging/draping items if needed. This was on clearance and I’ve never seen another one exactly like it. But it has sure served us well! (This one is similar, but it doesn’t have the lines on the bottom half.

            IRONING/FOLDING:

            I usually do a good job of moving the loads immediately from the washer to the dryer and then folding and putting them away immediately. Every now and then a load will sit in the dryer overnight, but not often. We like everything to be in its place when we need it. Also (and I know this is controversial at times) I am typically not one to iron. I have an iron and steamer, but I tend to be more of an iron-by-dryer kind of girl.)

            I do want to tell you about my laundry basket, too. I purchased this when we moved to the lake and I realized I didn't have anywhere to store the laundry basket I'd had for years on end. I purchased this collapsible basket, and we keep it stored under the bed when not in use. We also use this to tote things to speaking events, vacations, and anywhere else we might go! Very handy! 

            So that’s my laundry routine. I try to keep it fairly simple! I don’t mind laundry at all; it’s far from my least favorite household chore. However…both my sisters love love love doing laundry and would probably do it free for people. I don’t know that I love it quite that much!

Five Years (A Letter to Nita)

 

Dear Nita –

            Five years ago last night, we said our last goodbye to you. I’ve always wondered how much you knew about that night. How much did you know what was happening in that bedroom in your beloved log cabin, and how much of it was lost to you because of the medicine they gave you to keep the pain at bay?

            I hope you saw your children gathered around you, crying because they didn’t want to ask you to stay but simultaneously didn’t want you to go. I hope you knew that the ones you loved so much who weren’t standing beside you were doing everything they could to get there quickly, and even though they didn’t arrive before your Homegoing, they loved you so dearly. I hope one of the prayers I prayed for Jesus to be near and to comfort you did the very things I asked.

            Ryan sat with you for over two hours, holding your hand and making sure you weren’t alone – until the funeral home came. It was his last gift to you, and I loved his heart for it. He told me he promised you he would be there for you, and he wanted to keep his promise.

            There’s no way we could wish you back to the madness of the last five years on this earth. With all your struggles to breathe, there’s no way we could have wanted you to try to make it through a pandemic. As hard as our goodbye to you was, I can only imagine if we’d had to say it over a screen because we weren’t allowed in a hospital. I know many people lived that kind of a goodbye.

            You’d be proud of your kids, Nita. They’ve done a good job. They’ve taken care of your home, they tended to all the details after Allen’s unexpected death, and they’ve honored you with their lives. They’ve walked through some hard stuff together – big illnesses, job losses, births, deaths – and I think you would be proud of how they’ve handled it.

            Your grandbabies are not babies anymore – at least the ones you knew. And you’d love the ones you never got to meet. They’re all pretty great kids, and I know the number of pictures that exist of each of them would probably not be satisfactory to you.

            Ryan and I talk of you often. We have pictures of you in our home, we use your catch-phrases, and we tell stories of days we spent with you. I think of you every time I wear my hat that matches yours. I think of you every time I drink out of one of the coffee mugs you gave me. I think of you every time I put on one of the big blingy necklaces you gave me. I have your camera bag and am committed to carrying on the family legacy of documentation.

            I still have pictures of you in my phone and sometimes just sit and look at them, remembering the times we had together – before and after the word glioblastoma changed everything in life. I still have the video of you walking out of the rehab hospital singing “This is the Day.”

            You had many great accomplishments in this life, Nita. You were a friend to many, were a fantastic nurse, and served well in the church. But I have to feel your greatest accomplishment is the son you raised who has been the biggest blessing to my life. I see so much of you in him. That smile. Those dimples. The laugh. The compassionate heart. He’s you. And I love you both so much.

            Nothing on this broken earth can compare to the perfection and healing you’re living in now. To wish you back would be selfish. But know that you are missed and loved by these two Shaffers.

            Until then, Nita.

            Bekah

Celebrating 135 Months of Love

 

            Over the weekend, we celebrated another monthiversary! We’ve now been married for 135 months, and every single one has been different and beautiful in its own way.

            My favorite thing about this monthiversary of ours was that we spent the entire day together. Truly the best gift.

            We didn’t sleep in too terribly late, which was sad, but we had much to accomplish in a day’s time. Our first stop was a coffee shop date at Alpine Rose. It was our first time to go in there and hang out together. We’ve had their coffee before, but we’ve always gotten it to go. This time we found a table, stayed for breakfast, and had good conversation. It was a busy place that morning, which made me so happy, because I love seeing a little local shop thriving!

            The weather was pretty nice, so we walked around the downtown area, visiting a few little shops. I found some great half price deals at the thrift store – so I came home very happy!

            It may not sound super exciting that we spent much of the day doing chores, but we have been so busy away from home lately that just having a day at home to do some of these chores was a gift. Ryan washed the car and worked a little in the garage. I took down all our winter and Valentine’s Day decorations, reorganized them in tubs, and put fresh, permanent labels on the tubs.

            Ryan made dirt pudding for dinner (we had company) that night and split the recipe to make a second helping for a gathering we were going to on Sunday. He really does make the best dirt pudding.

            It really was a pretty day, so we went for a walk in the afternoon, taking Lexi along for the stroll. She was thrilled for a warm weather walk!

            Then it was time to put together the final touches on our dinner with friends! (Chili, cornbread, and dirt pudding!)

            We talked for hours…it was wonderful. A perfect end to a monthiversary. Thanks, Ryan, for spending a beautiful day with me! I love you!

Dreams and Goals for March 2024

 

        We are four days into this new month, but I made some goals and dreams for it before it ever arrived. I thought I’d share them with you today!

ONE. Decorate the house for spring. I put out the winter décor after Christmas and added the Valentine’s Day stash to it in February. I think I’m done looking at snowmen for another year, and it’s time to put away the red sparkly hearts. Since Easter arrives this month and I’m hoping spring will meander this way (to stay), I’m going to add some spring touches to the house. I honestly don’t have a ton of specific décor for either occasion, but it will be good to move the winter-related things out and brighten up a corner here and there.

TWO. Prep for more speaking. I have three events on my calendar for March and two for April. I have a lot of work to do between now and then to make sure I’m ready for each one. I even took a vacation day for later this month so I can hunker down and write/prep. I’m really excited to get to share, and I want to do my very best.

THREE. Try my hand at a little hospitality adventure. I was invited to put together a little hospitality package for some individuals coming to town to serve at a conference. I’ve been brainstorming and am excited to bring everything together and into reality. I’ve never done anything quite like this before, and I’m really looking forward to trying it.

FOUR. Figure out and shop for my spring capsule wardrobe. I’ll be keeping some of the items I’ve been using in the winter, because let’s face it…spring in Indiana is sometimes very much an extension of winter. But I’ll bring in a few new things to complete the grouping. Some of these I already own. I’ll just pull them from the back of the closet. Others I might need to look for at the consignment store. I have loved and still love my winter grouping. I still plan to power through and squeeze as many new combinations out of it as I can possibly find. But I’m also looking forward to introducing the spring look and trying some new looks!

            There are many other things on the agenda this month – including much in preparation for Easter itself, but these are my main big goals! How about you? Goals for March?

Sunday Sentiments: Spreading Joy

 

If you know Ryan in real life, you know what a completely infectious laugh he has. When he starts laughing, he can’t stop, and he’s loud and joyful in it. It’s one of my favorite things about him, actually.

            People ask me sometimes if he’s always as happy as he seems. He is. He wakes up in a good mood and unless something is just really weighing super heavily on his heart, he’s always smiling. Always laughing. Always filled with genuine joy.

            He told me this weekend that when he was at work a few days ago, he was part of a meeting. One of his coworkers came into the room where the meeting was being held and said to him, “I wasn’t sure where this room was, actually, but I just followed the sound of your laughter until I found it.”

            I don’t think he meant for that story to have a profound impact on my heart. I think he just meant for it to be an amusing story. But it made me stop and think hard.

            This woman knew the sound of Ryan’s laughter because she hears it all the time. She hears it because he lives a life of joy. And she knew she could count on him to keep laughing while she followed the sound to the room where she needed to be.

            The Bible encourages us to live lives of joy and says that the God of hope fills us with that joy. So my question to myself is this: am I living in joy? Am I so filled with joy on the inside that it bubbles over and shows on the outside? Do I live expressive joy often enough that people recognize me for it? And most of all – is it drawing them? Not to a room for a meeting, but to the presence of God?

            May I show the love and joy of Jesus to those around me. May I lead by example so they can follow the sound of my joy and find a reflection of Jesus when they get close to me. It’s something I need to work on more and more. I know this. But I’m sure grateful for this word picture Ryan provided (even unintentionally!) to me this week.

            Let’s overflow with joy!

Saturday Suggestions: Inspirations for Your Weekend

 

            Happy 135^th monthiversary, Ryan! Goodness, I love you so and appreciate all the sweet little things you’ve done this week to show your love to me! So happy I get to spend this whole day with you! And while we celebrate the big 1-3-5, here are some posts for your Saturday!

ONE. 

If we’re honest, none of us like a closed door. We want to be able to see our dreams realized, and when door after door seems to slam in front of us, it’s so discouraging. This post on that very topic was powerful for me this week. I attended the Speak Up Conference several summers ago, when Ryan and I lived in Kokomo, and I still follow them on social media. They share some great and encouraging things – and this was one of them! If you’re sad about your own closed doors, what if you started seeing them from this perspective instead? (And also – it’s okay to be sad about closed doors! I sure have been on many occasions! And ironically, most of those slammed doors have had to do with speaking and/or writing! Some even happened at that conference!)

TWO. 

Earlier this week I told you about how much I loved Kendall Vanderslice’s book By Bread Alone, and I’ve added to my wish list her first book, called We Will Feast. I think she has another one coming out soon, but for now, this is her only other book, and I’m looking forward to reading it! BONUS: Speaking of feasting, I have three other books on my wish list that focus on the feats of the Bible. This one is a guide to both feasting and fasting, this one is a guide to the feasts in the Christian calendar, and here’s one more for good measure.

THREE. 

I am still appreciating the gift of my free day off on Monday. Truly – a gift! I loved the opportunity to spend time that day doing things that refreshed my soul and prepared me to have a good week of work at work! While I realize the absolute rarity it is to be given a day off like I had, I wonder how many of you are carving out time to refresh in some fashion? Brenda Jank’s wisdom here about celebrating empty buckets and full buckets is worth the read. Both matter! BONUS: Here is another short post from the same site (different author) on the importance of stillness. I heartily agree!

FOUR.

I shared some of my fun finds from February, and I wondered if I could add two more to the list! I ended up winning a little competition at work this week and with my gift card, I purchased a couple of things from my kitchen wish list! I got these Souper Cubes and am so excited to use them. Have you heard of them? One of my friends told me about them a couple of years ago. She had a semi-major surgery and did a bunch of meal prep to carry her through recovery. She made several batches of soup, portioned them in these cubes, and froze them. Then she popped the soup blocks out, bagged them individually, and kept them in the freezer until she needed them for meals. Since soup recipes usually make more than the two of us can eat before getting tired of the same thing, I thought it would be a perfect way to preserve the leftovers! And then I got this utensil rest. I’m pretty sure I read about this on a blog somewhere. We have a traditional ceramic spoon rest on our stove, but when I’m doing a big cooking or baking project, I always have multiple utensils in use, and I never have a place to keep the rest in between stirrings. This has a little tray to catch messes and handle separators to keep multiple utensils from overlapping. I am excited to use it.

FIVE. 

I have several friends right now who are grieving significant losses. It seems that talking about grief has been a common thread across many of my friendships – even with friends who don’t know each other. I sat and listened to one group who pondered how to help a hurting friend in a truly meaningful way. I got the biggest blessing out of just watching them desire to be helpful. They put so much thought into learning how to bless a hurting friend that it turned right around and blessed me. If there’s one thing Ryan and I learned in grieving Allen and Nita’s deaths, it’s that everyone handles grief differently, and what supports one person might completely offend another. That makes it hard on those trying to help, doesn’t it? I hope my heart always sees that my friends are doing their best and trying to help and that I don’t waste time being offended if they don’t do it perfectly. But if you also wonder how to truly help a hurting friend, take a look at this post. It has some great ideas! I would also add to take time to hear the hurts of those who grieve non-immediate family members, because it’s so easy for them to get lost in the fringes. And those who have lost pets hurt deeply too! (We sent a pet sympathy card this week, actually!)

SIX. 

Decorating for spring is coming right up here in Shafferland, and I’ve been scouring Pinterest for ideas to use simple things I already have. This post has several inspirations in it. I have to wait for Ryan to bring the Easter/spring tub out. I’m pretty sure I don’t have a lot, but hopefully I can make something cute from what we do have! BONUS: Here is a beautiful (FREE!) watercolor tulip print you could frame to add to the spring pretties in your house!

BONUS:

Here are this week’s capsule creations!

Sunday, February 25, 2024:

Monday, February 26, 2024:

Tuesday, February 27, 2024:

Wednesday, February 28, 2024:

Thursday, February 29, 2024:

Friday, March 01, 2024:

Flashback Friday: Writing Your Story One Week at a Time

             

            It has been a short week for me, but you know how sometimes short weeks can feel extra long? TRUE OF THIS WEEK! It hasn’t been bad by any means. Just extra long! But today we celebrate the arrival of a brand new month and hopefully some inching toward spring arriving to stay.

            Today, as I encourage you to enjoy the memories of days gone by, I want to talk about one of my favorite topics: travel! What were your favorite travel memories as a child?

            This might include exploring things like…

·         Did your family always go to the same destinations every year, or did you keep visiting new places?

·         Where did you stay? (Hotels? With family? Camping?)

·         What was your favorite vacation and why?

·         How did you travel most frequently? (Airplane? Car? Boat? Train?)

·         Did you travel as an immediate family or with all the grandparents and cousins? Friends?

·         Where was your first vacation without your family? How old were you?

·         Was there a place you really hoped to go as a child, but your family never went? A secret bucket list item?

·         What was your favorite thing about traveling when you were little?

·         What was your least favorite thing about traveling back then?

·         Any fun vacation traditions?

When I was a kiddo, my parents worked in the school system, so we had the privilege of always having summers off together. I didn’t realize until much later what a rare treat that was for us! We didn’t have to worry about one of my parents not being able to get time off work, because all of us always had the same days off!

Mom made sure we had a family vacation every summer, and I appreciate that so much. I like to think much of my travel planning love and skill came from her. It was much harder for her to plan, of course, because the internet was still years away, so all travel planning took place at our kitchen table, with Mom laboring over AAA books and maps. She sat down with highlighter, atlases, and books, and drew out routes, made hotel reservations, and because of it, we had a trip every summer!

Airbnbs were also not a thing yet, and we weren’t a camping family, so our trips were always taken by car, and we stayed in hotels unless we were visiting my sister in Kansas, and then (once we arrived, of course) we stayed with her. I begged my parents to let us fly sometimes, but it was cheaper to drive, so that’s what we did. Fun fact: I was 26 before I flew for the first time! Turns out I hate flying and it was better that we did travel by car all those times!

While many of our trips during my growing-up years were centered around visiting Lori, we did do many fun side trips:

·         Little House on the Prairie locations

·         Mall of America

·         St. Louis Arch

·         Niagara Falls (Canada, too – before passports were needed!)

·         Washington D.C.

·         Chicago (that one was by train!)

·         Springfield, Illinois

·         Detroit

The only trip I can think of that we took that wasn’t just the three of us was the year we went to Washington D.C. and my sister, Julie, went along with us. My parents owned a station wagon back then, and seat belts weren’t a law, yet, so Julie got the back seat to herself, and I traveled the entire time in the very back of the wagon, in a little bed I set up for myself. I read books, played games, took naps, and had the best time.

I always kept a travel journal (you’re seeing some patterns here, aren’t you) where I documented important facts – like the very moment we crossed the state line into a new state, the name of the hotel where we stayed – and the room number, too. I would write the places we ate our meals and all the sights we saw.

Mom also put together little gift bags for me, and every few hours, I would get to open something new. She always chose things that would keep me occupied on the road, so it was a win-win! We also had snacks in the car, too! I learned one year that you shouldn’t store an open bag of M&Ms in your dad’s hat when it’s in the car window. That hat was immediately retired…some spillage of the M&Ms may have occurred.

Oh! And Mom always made sure we stayed at hotels with swimming pools so I could swim after we arrived. Mom and Dad would take turns resting in the room and sitting with me at the pool. And speaking of the hotels – my favorite was having a TV at the end of my bed (NOVELTY!!!) and getting to eat take out fast food in bed. The stuff dreams are made of when you’re little.

I’m not sure which vacation was my favorite, but the Washington D.C. trip did have a lot of stand-out moments, including the time I got separated from my family in an elevator – and the time I got to help cast a vote in the Capitol Building.

Ahhh, yes. This is where I get my love for travel! But how about you? What memories do you have from travel days gone by?