Wardrobe Updates: Learning Myself

 I promise not to write about clothes for days on end. But I wanted to write a follow-up to yesterday's post, because it was an important next step in this project I've been working on for several weeks.

If you missed yesterday's post, you can read it here. I shared about reevaluating my actual clothing needs for this season of my life, which look very different for me than some previous seasons.

My next assignment from the Putting Me Together class was to begin scouring Pinterest to look for inspirational ideas. Her suggestion was (essentially) to think about a particular scenario and then look for outfits you think you would want to wear in that scenario. I made a secret Pinterest board that I named Style Profile, and I fille it with a sub-board for reach of the categories I named yesterday. Then I searched for outfits I might like in each of those categories.

For the most part, I didn't stumble upon any surprises in this part. I know myself well enough to know what kinds of clothing I like and don't like. My preferences are just that...my own preferences. For example, I don't like joggers, so those didn't show up in any category - even lounging at home. I also don't like rompers, because I don't think they work well with my body type. I do like dresses with a defined waist, because swing dresses make me look pregnant. (And I'm not.) I don't like cold shoulder shirts. I don't like super heavy clothing, because I get too hot.

I spent a week or so using my free time to look for outfits and build my boards. I had a lot of fun with this part, too. It's fun to look at clothes and get ideas for how to style different outfits. 

My next assignment was to begin to learn about what colors work with my skin tone. This was surprising to me. I've always worn a lot of jewel tones, and I like them. I'm pretty pale by nature, and I've always felt like those colors brighten up my life. But after doing some study on my skin tone, hair color, and eye color, I learned that I actually should lean more toward softer, muted versions of those jewel tones. Pink is good, but not hot pink. Soft pink. Same for blue, green, and purple. It's not as harsh, and as I've begun to try it, I've learned it's true! It's a more natural look for me. So...yay! I learned something new!

Then I began to think about the specific functionality I wanted my clothes to have. Confused? Let me explain.

Last summer, on our way home from our big vacation, Ryan and I spent a day in Casey, Illinois. You might remember that: small town of big things? It was a fun day of seeing the touristy spots, but we also stopped in a boutique so I could do some shopping. Ryan bought me a pair of workout leggings from their clearance rack, and I love them. I have other workout pants (that are a decade or so old), but these pants have a pocket. Did you hear me? A POCKET! I can slide my phone down in it before I go out for a walk. It is a bigger game changer than I could have imagined. 

What I learned from that purchase is that I want all my future workout pants to have a pocket. I need a place to put my phone!

The same goes for dresses. If I can find dresses with pockets, I want them! (I feel like more dressmakers are putting pockets in them these days, so yay!)

I'm also learning that for most of my clothing, I no longer want a V-neck. Not only do they tend to stretch out and look strange, but if the V is very deep, it doesn't really look appropriate for me. I don't want to be up in front of a women's event and feeling self-conscious about my neckline. If I'm just hanging out at home, it's fine. But if I'm out and about, I want more coverage.

I also don't want super thin shirts. While I definitely appreciate the cool factor for my overheating self, if they're too thin, I have to wear a shirt under them, and that just makes me hotter!

It was exciting to learn all these details as I created my lists. 

Once I had all this knowledge under my belt, I started creating wish lists of specific clothing pieces I want to get. Sometimes I looked for the exact pieces I found on Pinterest. Other times I looked for something similar.

From here, my plan is as follows:

* Go through my present wardrobe and remove anything that is no longer a good fit for me. This would include things that literally don't fit my body, but it also includes things that are not flattering colors or cuts for me. It includes things that look worn or are just very, very old. 

* I frequently receive hand-me-downs, and I love that. Anytime I can get clothing for free, it's a win! But I am pushing myself to be very considerate of what I keep from freebies. I've learned that for me, several of my poor choices over the course of my adult life were pieces I wore because they were free. Merely being free doesn't make it the right choice. I keep my guideline lists and color information on my phone so I can know quickly what works.

* I want to continue to shop second-hand as much as I can. It's important for us to be as frugal as we can be across the board right now, and this includes clothing. Buying super expensive clothing is not realistic for me. Replacing everything at once is also not possible. But again: just because something is on sale or at the Goodwill doesn't mean it's a good choice for me. I want to be a good steward with this project!

* Be thorough in my research and selection about new pieces. I do want some things that are new to me. I want to be able to mix and match how I wear those pieces, and I want my purchases to be flattering in cut and color. I want them to be functional and comfortable, too. It's a lot to ask, I know.

So this is what I've been learning! It's been a fun summer project. I've already gotten a couple of new pieces, and I'm excited to see how they mix and match with other things along the way. (Doing this right before fall/winter and the seasons of layering seems like the most fun!) 

Wardrobe Updates: Making Category Lists

 Back in 2015, right after I left WBCL, I spent my days cleaning, organizing, and purging our house. We had so. much. stuff. We had crammed two complete households into one small house without having time to really look through, sort, and make sense of it all. It took me several weeks to weed through all of it, and we had a giant rummage sale that ended up paying for a vacation! (Woot woot!)

One of the things I worked on in that time was my closet. I had just learned about capsule wardrobes and how you could make multiple outfits with just a few key pieces if you were strategic about it. So I worked on that and for several years, I lived the capsule wardrobe life. 

In reality, I still don't have that many clothes. Our walk-in closet in our room holds both our clothes with plenty of room to spare. But despite the smaller size of my wardrobe contents, I have strayed from the idea of a capsule wardrobe. I have not necessarily kept up with things that can be easily mixed and matched. 

So I found myself back in the same old boat from 2016. Lots to wear with nothing to wear.

But it was more than that, actually. It wasn't just about the inability to mix and match without looking like I got dressed in the dark. I realized for the first time in 44 years that I have never truly sat down to make sense of what kinds of clothing pieces make me feel my very best. 

I took a free wardrobe class from Putting Me Together (I shared it on the Saturday Six a while back, but here's the link again) that took about an hour to listen to. I learned many things from Audrey in that class, but she put heavy emphasis on understanding that the reason we have so many clothes we don't wear is because we aren't buying the right clothes to begin with. We buy things because they're on sale and they seem like a good deal. We buy things for a single purpose event. We don't stop to think about the cuts of clothing that flatter us. We don't think about the colors that work best with our skin tones. We just buy without much consideration, and then we hate what we buy and never wear it.

Another thing she said that really hit me was that most women (people, really, but her target audience is women) don't ever update what they're doing in life that drives their wardrobe choices. The example she gave was that a few years earlier in her life, she had a job that required a business casual dress code in the office. She was also in a season of life where most of her friends were getting married, and she attended weddings on the regular. Fast forward a few years...and she was working a new job that actually was much more causal. She didn't have nearly as many weddings to attend, but she did have kids of her own running around the house. Because of those changes, many of the clothes she wore often before weren't getting much wear, and she needed something different to fit her new season of life. 

Well, that has certainly been true for me! Since the great closet cleanout of 2016, I have been a stay-at-home wife, been a public speaker, been a writer, worked in a church office, worked from home at WillowBridge, and now I'm working a hybrid schedule - some in the Love INC office and some from home. My clothing needs have changed often, haven't they? But you know what hasn't changed? My clothing.

In the class I took, Audrey encouraged making a list of every clothing scenario from present-day life to reevaluate actual needs. I had way more fun with this than I probably should have, and I also learned a lot about myself in this process. So today (after this world's longest topic introduction), I want to share with you the list I made of potential types of clothing styles I would need and what I learned in the list-making.

Note: my categories are in no particular order.

1. Neighborhood walks. Really, Bekah? Does this need to be a category? Well, it does, because we do it a lot! We walk Lexi twice a day (weather permitting) and sometimes take additional strolls down the River Greenway, etc. I feel like most of the time, I look like I just rolled out of bed (because in the morning, I actually did) or I haven't updated my clothes in a decade (because in many cases, I have not). We learned early on that the fastest way to meet people in your neighborhood is to have a dog. People actually talk to you when you have a dog. They don't so much when you're just out walking. We've met a TON of our neighbors through our walks. And so far, my first impressions have been 100% raggedy, not 100% cute. It wouldn't kill me to try a little harder before stepping outside my home to meet my neighbors!

2. Work from home. I learned during the pandemic (as have many of you, perhaps) that I take my work more seriously when I don't work in my jammies. Getting dressed in SOME fashion helps me feel more purposeful. Also...we have one neighbor who drops by periodically to share food or say hi, and without fail, I look homeless every time she comes over. Having comfy clothing that looks like actual clothing is a goal for me when working from home. 

3. Work out at home. I do not currently have a gym membership, so I do my workouts at home. The blessing of that is that it really doesn't matter what I look like, because only Ryan, Braeya, and Lexi see me. It doesn't matter if my clothes fit well or are too tight or too loose. You don't have to look cute to sweat. That's a fact. But it's also a fact that if you feel better about yourself when approaching a workout, you're more likely to DO the workout. 

4. Work from the office. Love INC doesn't have a stringent dress code, and for this I am thankful. But there is a tricky balance to strike when going to work. On one hand, I want to look well-dressed and put together, because sometimes we meet with churches, pastors, or businesses in town. I want to represent our work well and be taken seriously in those moments. But one thing I did learn from my years at WillowBridge is that when you're working with those living in poverty mindset, looking too polished can be off-putting to them. They can feel like you're too aloof and not relatable if you are too dressed up and fancy. So I'm working to find options that fall in the middle of these two needs when it comes to the days I work in the office.

5. Dates and meet-ups with friends. Of course, I want to look cute for Ryan when we go out on dates! And though I don't do a ton of this, I do meet up with friends for coffee now and then. Usually both the dates and the meet-ups are more on the casual side, rather than being super dressy events, but I still want to look cute and confident when I go!

6. Church and speaking engagements. I know that dressing up for church is not as typical as it was when I was growing up. When I was little, men always came to church in suits and ties, and women always wore dresses, hose, and heels. While I am not mourning the loss of the hose, I do try to dress up a little more for church than I do for anything else. It's a personal conviction and not something I expect everyone around me to do. The same is true for speaking engagements. Most of mine are at women's retreats and conferences, and honestly, anymore, nice jeans are acceptable there! But I usually dress up a bit more than that...again, just a personal conviction. Still, the need to dress up doesn't run over into a semi-formal level.

7. Lounging at home. I laughed at this one at first, but it actually also made me feel pretty convicted. When I'm at home and not planning to go anywhere, I find that I'm spending most of my time in my most-loved clothes. And by that, I mean most worn-out. The oldest and most faded t-shirts leftover from a decade ago. Shorts that need to be thrown away. It's pretty bad. (You'd think that greeting my local fire department in such garb twice in the last three months would have pushed me faster, but it hasn't.) I thought about it and realized my time at home is when I spend the most time with Ryan. You remember Ryan, right? The man I love more than anyone else in the whole world? The one I want to look my best for? And yet he usually sees my worst options on the daily? EEK!!!! That was when I realized there is nothing wrong with finding some cute clothes for hanging out at home. He deserves to see so much better than what he usually sees.

8. Writing. This last one was a late-added category. I've started doing more writing again, and while there is certainly not a uniform for it, I have found some cute t-shirts with writing phrases on them that would be fun to have for the days when I'm donning my writing hat full time. 

So, these are my categories! These are the ways I spend my days. Not every day includes every category. Some of the categories actually dip into the same kind of clothing as another one. But these are the things I want to keep in mind as I consider the ways I want to craft my wardrobe. 

If you're in need of an overhaul too, I highly recommend sitting down to think through a list like this for yourself. It's more helpful than you'd think! And if you have an hour to spare, take the class over at Putting Me Together. It really is helpful - and free!

More Snapshots of Vacation

 

I have a few more pictures from our time away...want to see?

Three cheers for a hotel breakfast!! Ryan loves it that the Farmstead serves biscuits and gravy. I love it that they have one of those fun waffle makers. And then I broke my waffle. Zero points for presentation, but all the points for yummy!

We did a little shopping that day. Dad found himself an apron, which is hilarious since he doesn't cook. :) 

One of my FAVORITE things to do in Shipshewana is to go through the tiny cabins. I still love them with my whole heart, though my most favorite one changed this time. (I have had two that have vied for top billing in my heart, and this time, number two moved up.)

And now they also have full size model homes. Not surprisingly, my favorite looks a lot like our actual house's layout!

That tub, though...

Then we explored the outdoor furniture. Lori found a playhouse with a swing, and Ryan fell completely in love with this lounger. And the tricycle. 

We wrapped up the day (and the trip) with an evening at the Collingsworth Family concert. Fantastic music!

Thanks for coming along with us on virtual vacation! 

Snapshots of Vacation

Yesterday I told you about some of the worshipful moments I encountered on our family trip, and today I thought I would show you some snippets of the trip! :) 

First, you should know that I saw SIX DEER on my way to the lake!! Lori was kind enough to stop the car completely in the middle of a country road so I could have my freak-out over the deer. I only got pictures of three, but there were six total. They were just having lunch out in a field. SO PRETTY!!!

The view from the boat. This particular lake has a lot of huge homes on it, so we enjoyed gawking as we cruised. So many pretties!

Perfect day for boating. (Aside from stormy days, I've not met many I haven't liked for boating!)

This is where we had lunch! Boated right up to it and then ate out on the patio. It was delicious! 

After we finished our lunch, we had to scurry back to our car so we could get to the hotel to check in. We stayed at the Farmstead in Shipshewana, which is, I think, the only place I've ever stayed there!

We had dinner at the Essenhaus, which is a staple stop on any Shipshewana trip. Home-cooking at its finest!

We were celebrating a bunch of milestones, so we got a cake to cover them all. We just passed the cake around the table so everyone celebrating could get a picture with it. (The bakery asked me what to write on it, and I told them we were celebrating too many things to write it on such a little cake, so we went with standard flowers instead!)

Just kidding. I didn't eat it all by myself. :) It was a good cake, though. White cake with raspberry filling. Yum! 

We ended the day with a walk around town and some great views of the sunset!

I'll have a few more for you tomorrow! :) 

Sunday Sentiments

 

Ryan and I just arrived home yesterday after a couple of days away with my family. We hit the ground running when we came home, trying to get all the house chores caught up and things prepared for the week to come, so I haven't sorted through any of my pictures yet. I'll get to them...I promise.

The weekend was about celebrations. My dad and one of my sisters both have milestone birthdays this year, and my parents will celebrate their 68th anniversary next weekend. So the weekend was full of all the things you might expect: parties and cake and pictures and time together.

But for me, the weekend was also about worship, and I was grateful for it. 

My sisters and I had a little bit of a pre-celebration, and part of that included a boat ride. (My sister owns a pontoon, so her husband treated us to a lake cruise.) You know how I love the lake, and it's been years since we've gone. After Ryan's mom died, our annual family trips to the lake ceased. We miss the water. We miss the boat rides. I miss how close I feel to the Lord when that water is lapping the side of the boat.

I tried to be aware of conversations and paying attention to the family time I was supposed to be part of, but my mind was a hundred miles away as I stared across the water and soaked in the joy of being back out there in my most favorite place. 

I took a few pictures to remind myself later of how much I loved it. It was pure joy, and I could have spent hours more out there.

Then on Saturday night, most of the family went to a concert together (a first for us!) and that whole night was one piece of worship after another.

We went to see the Collingsworth family, and I enjoyed every single moment. 

They sang some of my favorite old hymns and they sang new songs (some I knew, and some I didn't). They shared pieces of their stories, and even though I knew some of those stories from following them on social media, I still got caught up in the wonder of how God has worked in their lives.

It was a really beautiful and special night that I'm still pondering in my heart.

Friday night, Ryan and I went for a walk around town (we were in Shipshewana) with Lori and Jeff, and God painted THE most beautiful sunset for us to enjoy. I tried not to lose sight of it as we made our way around town. 

There was so much more to the weekend, but I am especially grateful today for these things. They will always be dear to me. 

The Saturday Six

 

You all know how much a love a good color-coded ANYTHING, right? well, my love for all things color-coded, organized, and pretty inspired this week's Saturday Six! Enjoy!

One.

I had to laugh at the beginning of this post, because I have had the EXACT conversation she talks about regarding the breaker box! Why are breaker boxes such a graveyard of confusion and bad handwriting? I feel like it's almost required for them to be a mess. But this lady created a color-coded system to make it easy to see which one controls which things in the house. It's so pretty. And even though most people don't hang out looking at their breaker boxes on the regular, it's still nice to know it can be pretty, right?

Two.

Earlier this week, I made the Dashing Dish recipe for roasted vegetables, and I had to take a picture of it, because it was SO PRETTY with all the veggies lined up in nice, neat, color-coded rows. Sure, it all got mingled on the plate, but organized food in presentation makes me exceedingly happy. Also...it tasted SO good and kept us in business for veggies for about three meals! 

Three.

I absolutely organize my clothes in color order in my closet. (You can read some ideas on that here.) It makes it so much easier for me to find the things I'm looking for when I'm hunting for a certain color. I'm also working on simplifying the NUMBER of colors in my closet, so hopefully this is about to get even easier! Also, I really miss the days when Goodwill put clothes in color order. I could shop SO MUCH FASTER when they were in color order, because I was almost always looking for something very specific when I went!

Four.

Who doesn't love a color-coded filing system? Sure, it's in the drawer, and you don't see it every moment of every day. But it's SO PRETTY when you do need to get in and find something! Here's an idea for that! 

Five.

Years ago, I made an orange gift basket for a friend of ours on her birthday. She LOVES orange more than anyone I've ever met, so it was a fun gift to make. Color-coded gift baskets for the win! Some of them you can make super inexpensively, but it shows your recipient you know him or her well enough to know a favorite color! Here are some ideas.

Six.

This is the color-coding list I use for my Bible highlighting. I don't highlight every single verse, but I do mark things that fall into these categories. I printed this out, laminated it, and I keep it inside my Bible for reference. It has worked well for me! (I use colored pencils for marking.) 

Guests!!

 

We always enjoy having guests come to visit, and this week brought us our first non-toddler overnight guests!

My sister and brother-in-law were passing through the area and spent an evening with us and then stayed the night. Lexi was not quite sure why her bedroom suddenly got a makeover, but she wanted to pose with the completed bed!

(Our guest bed stores as a twin and converts into a king, so I had pulled it out for their stay. Lexi moved over to the office for the night.)

Had to have a welcome sign, of course.

When they first arrived, we went on a walk around the neighborhood. (They had been in the car for a while and were ready to stretch and move!) Lexi was excited to show them everything. Lexi had just licked Jeff's ear before this picture was taken. :) 

We also took them out to Pizza King for dinner. They love Pizza King, but they don't have them where they live, so we told them we'd have that for dinner. The photo below is a very deceiving angle. The pizza was NOT as big as it looks.

After dinner, we spent the rest of the evening hanging out and talking! And Lexi was SO EXCITED they were there. In fact, yesterday morning, when she got done with her breakfast, she discovered they hadn't completely latched the door to their room, so she busted in to tell them good morning. #facepalm. 

Thanks for coming to see us!!! We had the best time hosting you. Sorry about the wake up call. 

Never Too Old

Ryan teaches me all kinds of things just by being Ryan, and in the last week, he taught me another valuable life lesson.

He called from work one day and said he had determined his handwriting was unacceptable, and he would be working to improve it immediately. I love him with my whole heart, but he does have challenging-to-read handwriting. I will give him that! Part of it is that he forms such tiny letters, so you really have to focus to read. Beyond that, it's just genuinely hard to read. 

That very night, he came home and printed out some worksheets on handwriting and began his own self-induced class on improving his writing. He doesn't work on it every single day, but he does work on it regularly. (We also have an adorable third-grade-looking worksheet hanging on the refrigerator sporting some of his cursive work.)

It makes me giggle, because when he shows me his work, I don't recognize it. His handwriting now does not look like "his" handwriting at all. But I can read it. The letters are larger and more legible, and I am proud of him for working so hard to make an improvement.

I could stand to join him, of course, I used to have fabulous handwriting, but it has gotten progressively worse as I've gotten older. I blame it on actually being a writer. My mind moves much faster than my hand, so if I want to get all those thoughts on paper before they evaporate, I have to MOVE. That means I have no time for pretties. Just write and go on. And now it's just bad.

But what Ryan taught me through this whole handwriting class adventure actually has nothing to do with writing itself and everything to do with his heart. 

He has taught me that you're never too old to realize when something needs to be improved, and you're never beyond taking a few steps backwards to make those improvements. Being in your forties doesn't mean you're too good or too old for those elementary school worksheets if that's what it takes to improve your handwriting skills. 

We tend to very quickly make excuses about how or why we shouldn't bother with something because we're too old to learn or too set in our ways to mess with it. But we aren't. Maybe because we're "old," the learning might come at a slower pace, but we're not exempt.

What do you think you're "too old" to learn or do? And are you really?

For example...I know I'd love to learn pretty hand-lettering. I don't necessarily want to learn calligraphy, but some sort of fun, scripty handwritten fonts that could make little notes extra cute. 

I'd also love to learn how to crochet. I started learning from Sarah right before we left WillowBridge, but then all of the wrapping up work and packing took over and I never had time to continue my lessons. 

And even if I never work in an actual coffee shop, I'd still love to learn some legitimate barista skills - just to use at home! 

Thanks, Ryan, for inspiring me to keep learning!!!!