Freshen Up...Your Coffee-Drinking Life

It's podcast Tuesday! We were on a story-telling roll this week, and we hope you can hang out with us for a half hour or so, just to laugh and hear about my fringe-filled Goodwill finds. (And lots of other fun stuff too.)

 Listen here!

So even if you've only been reading this blog for a few days, you probably know that Ryan and I are fairly serious about our coffee. We started drinking coffee together when we began dating, and it quickly became "our thing." Now we drink it every day - morning, noon, and night.

We love it (obviously), but like any good thing, we get to the point where we don't like to mess with a good thing, you know? We know exactly how we like it, and we don't want to waste time or money experimenting with things that could turn out to be a real flop.

I remember one time at Starbucks, I'd carefully saved up all my stars for a free reward, and I let the barista talk me into branching out and trying one of their seasonal features.

HATED IT.

It had chili in it and I learned I don't like spicy hot coffee. Only temperature hot. And then I was sad that I had wasted all those beloved stars on coffee I hated. (If we had stayed to drink it that day, I probably would have asked for a do-over, but we were already on the road to our next adventure, so I was stuck with double-hot coffee. Oh well. Cleaned out my sinuses!)

So even though I'm a creature of habit, I do try to push myself to try new things now and then! Here are the ways I try to freshen up my coffee-drinking life. (And if you're not a coffee-drinker, you can apply this whatever you prefer to drink!)

1. Tour the menu.

Oh, Bekah. Take your own advice and finish your tour! When we moved to Kokomo, we found a little local shop called Big Ben and decided it would be "our" coffee shop. (Yes, we still go to Starbucks, but we felt compelled to adopt at least one local shop as our own.) Their menu is not massive. Don't misunderstand: they have a good variety of choices, but the list is manageable. When we went in the first time, I made the choice to start at the top of the menu and work my way down until I'd tried all the flavors.

The first menu item was Cabin Fever. I loved it and have gotten that almost every visit since then. #facepalm. I really need to finish the menu so I can learn what else I like there.

2. Find the secret menu.

If you look on Pinterest, you'll find posts about Starbucks' "secret" menu. It's full of combos that don't make it onto the posted menu, but you can still order them. I believe it was through a secret menu board that I learned about the white chocolate raspberry latte, and for a long time, that was one of our favorite things to order at Starbucks.

Sometimes smaller shops have a similar menu - drinks dreamed up by baristas or regular customers. I think a great life goal is to one day have a coffee drink named after me. (There is a drink at the IWU coffee shop named after a girl I went to school with. I don't know if she worked there and created the drink or if they just named it after her, but it's still on the menu every fall!)

3. Try something you have never tried.

You know. Like the chili coffee thing. Ha!! In all reality, this might be a complete flop, but it might also be the ticket to your greatest coffee discovery! Try iced coffee or a frappuccino or an extra shot of espresso or a new flavor.

If you're really nervous about this, and you are a regular at some shop, see if you can get a sample from someone else's leftovers. On one of our county tours, the barista kept bringing us tiny sample cups of coffee flavors other people ordered while we were in there. Sometimes he made more than would fit in their cup, so he'd pour the extra in a sample cup and bring it to us. We found some tasty options and if we lived closer, we'd probably be having them regularly!

4. Roast your own beans!

Last year I bought Ryan his own coffee roaster. It's little - about the size of a blender, actually, and simple to use. We bought green beans (coffee beans, not vegetable beans) and learned how to roast them ourselves. You can research how to accomplish different flavors, depending on where the beans come from or how long you roast them. You can even concoct your own personal blend!

Warning: it does create QUITE an aroma. If you live in an apartment or small space, you may want to find an alternative location for this activity. If you have more space, the garage or a shed would be a great location. Your house may end up smelling like burned popcorn if you do it in there!

5. Do it yourself.

Ryan and I are lifelong coffee shop lovers, and we won't ever give that up. But we also love having our own fancy pants espresso machine/latte maker now. We've started looking up recipes to make some of our favorite drinks on our own. The best part about this is that we can adjust flavors to suit our tastes. Remember the raspberry white chocolate latte I talked about earlier? Ryan stopped getting it at the coffee shop because it was too sweet. But he loves making it at home because he can adjust the syrups to be exactly what he wants. He's finally found his perfect coffee/flavor ratio.

Even though you have to buy all the syrups and such, it still ends up saving money in the long run, and the best part is that you can have a drink even if all the coffee shops around you are closed for the day. (Common problem for us.)


Hope you can try something new this spring...and happy new discoveries!

Freshen Up...Your Look for Summer

We've had a few warm weather days around here recently, so I'm pretty much itching for it to get here permanently. The other night, when we left Ryan's dad's house after helping him work, we felt like we were forgetting something. Then we realized...it was a coat! We hadn't worn a coat that day because it was warm enough to get away with just a t-shirt! I'm ready to pack away the coats, scarves, and boots for a good number of months now and enjoy some warmth and fun! 

And of course...that means I'm ready to freshen up my look for summer. I guess I treat my person like I treat my house: new season, new look! I don't know why, but it somehow makes me feel refreshed. Anyone else? Anyone?

Here's how I like to freshen up my look for summer:

1. New hair color and/or cut.

Okay, so truth be told, I do this because the old hair color is usually turning white, but I really do like to get something new and different when we transition into spring/summer. Fresh highlights, maybe a little bit different tint, or I could always go crazy and pull a Bekah-goes-neon-orange. That's always a classic. (Don't worry. I'm not actually going to do it.)

I visited the salon this week for my latest hair overhaul. The color I had actually held up surprisingly well, but I had about an inch of decidedly gray/white roots beaming there next to my scalp, so it was time to go get help. I feel springy with my updated highlights in bright blond and lowlights in dark brown. :) I also felt updated with the beach waves she gave me before I left the salon, but alas, I haven't mastered those yet. Whenever I try to recreate them, they come out very poodle-esque. Not quite what I'm hoping for.

I didn't get a cut this time (other than my bangs) but I've sometimes cut it off in the summer for a cooler, bouncier feel. (And conversely, I've sometimes grown it long in the summer just so I can put it up in a ponytail!)

2. Find some fun, new clothes!

Yes, I'm still trying to keep my wardrobe at a minimum. But the truth is, I wear my summer clothes year round. Because I so easily overheat, it's not unusual for me to wear t-shirts, tank tops, and sleeveless dresses in the dead of winter, and just cover them with sweaters, jackets, and scarves that can be easily removed if I get too warm.

Because of that, I get tired of my summer clothes more quickly than the winter ensembles. So normally around this time of year, I like to visit the Goodwill (or garage sales) to see if I can find some new shirts, skirts, and capris/shorts to brighten up the summer. I also found my season's supply of new dresses last month when we shopped for Ryan's mom's viewing and funeral. When I chose those dresses, I didn't go for mournful as much as I went for something Nita would have loved and something I could wear throughout the summer. (And they were on sale, so YAY!!!)

3. Bright nail polish!

I do my own nails at home using my Shellac/gel polish system. I think Ryan bought me that system the first or second Christmas we were married, and it's been a great investment for us! The polish is a little pricey, but it lasts quite a while. I'm still building a color arsenal, but I almost always get one new color at the start of the summer season. I try to get something bright and beachy-looking, even though I live nowhere near a beach. :) I use regular polish on my toes, and I really need to get a springy addition for that collection this year. I haven't gotten new plain polish for quite a while, and I'm getting bored with my rotation.

I always get tons of compliments on my nails, especially when I wear the bright colors, so I feel like it's money well spent! (The color above was quite a hit this last time I wore it. Maybe everyone is ready for spring.)

4. SUNGLASSES!!

I know some people like to buy a good (read: expensive) pair of sunglasses and wear them all the time. I prefer to purchase cheaper ones (read: Meijer) and change them up often. Plus, I don't feel as guilty if they get broken in my purse or dropped somewhere. They probably only cost $10 max.

I wear sunglasses year round, but I especially like getting a sporty new pair in the summer, because it makes all the pictures more fun to look at! You know...I can identify my life season by my weight, hair color, AND sunglasses. The ones I have right now have a pink tint to them, and I really like them. I do have to remember they aren't mirrored, though, in case I cast a questioning glance at a passing driver. HA!)

(I've been known to have 2-3 pairs at a time before, but right now I just have one.)

5. Hats!

When I worked at WBCL, Lynne was the queen of the summer hat. She loved being outside working in her garden (or working events for the station) but she was careful to wear her hat and protect her face. She talked me into getting a big floppy sun hat, and while I can't pull it off with the same finesse she can, I do always feel like my updated summer look has arrived when I pull out the summer hat.

In truth, it can make me a bit hot if I wear it too long. I wore it one afternoon last summer on a SUPER hot day when I was out mowing, and it very nearly melted my face straight off my head. I had to take it off to get a breeze.

But hats are summery and fun, and I think they can spruce up your look and your outlook! (Also: This is a TERRIBLE photo of me, but it's the only one I could find where I was wearing the hat.)


Happy look-freshening to all of you. And please, oh please, warmth??? COME TO STAY!!!

The Shafferland Shuffle

Good Palm Sunday morning to you!! I asked Ryan to draw the winner for the Mended book, and the name he drew was...Judy Moser! Congratulations, Judy! I don't think I have your address, so if you can email that to me, I'll get the book mailed out to you!

And now...back to my regularly scheduled programming. :)

* Last Sunday, we had a college music group visiting our church; they were excellent! Always fun to have a switched up church morning! We picked up Phoebe on our way home from church so she could spend the rest of the day with us. She and I took a nice, long nap! (Ryan took one too, but she tends to be my girl like Deuce is Ryan's boy.)

* We spent Monday evening working at Ryan's dad's house. More painting for me...Ryan and his dad worked together to hang blinds and trim. We felt like we got a lot done while we were there, so that was rewarding. Though we worked pretty late, we did catch the end of a SPECTACULAR sunset. It made me so happy to see! Sunsets are beautiful.

* Hey, guess what happened on Tuesday? They patched our pothole out front. AGAIN. This marks the third time they've patched it, and while it did last longer than it did the second time (which was one day), it's still not great. Hoping they just redo that entire section of road this summer! I also got an overhaul that day...a hair overhaul! Fresh highlights and no more gray...ahhhhhh.

* Wednesday was book day! I got my brand new commentary for my next round of studying the Gospels, so I was excited about that! I also got to look through my newest treasure, which is the set of McGuffey's Readers my mom used to teach me to read. I'm so excited to have them! Not so exciting? Workout day. I mean that wasn't the only day I worked out, but I wasn't overly excited about that particular one.

* Lookie what I found on Thursday?!!? Almost blossoms!!! So excited!  We worked at Ryan's dad's again that night. My painting didn't get captured, but I'm pretty sure you have a good idea what it looks like. Ha! Ryan and his dad worked on installing a new microwave. Braeya worked on taking a serious nap on top of a freshly washed blanket. Sigh. I guess we always have our areas of strength.

* Ryan and I went out to Culver's on Friday night. We haven't been there FOREVER!!!! We had a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for sundaes, and he found out a banana split qualifies as a sundae. It was HUGE!!!! My sundae was a normal size, but we were both miserably full when we were done eating them. So good, though.

* Ryan worked yesterday, and so did I! I took round two of senior pictures for my friend's son. I took the first round late last summer. Poor guy. He HATES having his picture taken and senior pictures have been nothing but absolute torture for him. He was such a good sport about it, but I felt bad for him! After Ryan got off work, we went back to his dad's for another night of work. We're getting there!

The Saturday Six

* A quick reminder!!!! Today at 5:00 p.m. ET, the drawing closes for the copy of Mended I wrote about earlier this week. It's not too late to enter if you see this before 5:00 p.m. Here is the link to the post where you enter! *

One.

Not to make anyone panic or anything, but Easter is NEXT WEEK!!! If you are working on putting together a basket for your kids/grandkids/friends' kids, and you need some non-candy ideas, this post has suggestions that are both fun and educational!

Two.

I saw this vacation rental on Twitter this week. First, it's adorable, so there's that. Secondly, ummmm, Lori? I think this house may have your version of THE perfect kitchen. (And tub.) Is it bad to have vacation location goals based solely upon the accommodations?

Three.

I think I would cry if I had to downsize (aka lose) my home office, but I have to say I love all the elements of this blogger's before (big) and after (small) office. Those lockers!!!!

Four.

For all you coffee drinkers out there: which decade are you?

Five.

Oh. My. Goodness. I don't know that I have ever before been jealous of someone's cabinet under the sink...until today. GOALS, people. GOALS. Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

Six.

Today I want to tell you about a book that has been my daily companion for the last four and a half months. I'm not kidding...it feels almost like a breakup to close it for the last time and put it on the shelf. But oh my goodness, what a wonderful investment it has been!

Last year, as most of you probably know, Ryan and I read through the Bible together, chronologically. When we got to the Gospels, I felt like we had to read through them FAR too quickly. I had more things to learn than I could pack into each day's reading. I wanted to really marinate on their words, look at the different perspectives, and spend some time studying the life of Jesus.

So I decided in 2019, I would spend the entire year in the four Gospels. I would read through one small section a day, using the Bible divisions as my guide. (Not the chapters...but the divisions of the accounts.)

I decided to pick out a commentary for each book and read it alongside my Bible reading. I spent a long time researching different commentaries, and at last, I landed on Charles Spurgeon's Commentary on Matthew The Gospel of the Kingdom.

If you're not familiar with Charles Spurgeon, he was a preacher who lived in the 1800s. His wife, Susannah, wrote the introduction to the book and noted that he had passed away before it was published. In fact, she says, "He has left us with this last precious legacy...It is the tired worker's final labor of love for his Lord...Much of the later portion of the work, therefore, was written on the very border-land of heaven, amid the nearing glories of the unseen world, and almost 'within sight of the golden gates'."

I believe this is the only commentary on a single book of the Bible that he ever wrote. Other books, filled with his transcribed sermons, have been published, but this was the only commentary.

Obviously, living as long ago as he did, the book is peppered with occasional verbiage that we no longer use in everyday language. But it isn't so academic and theological that it can't be understood by an average student like me. (I took many Bible courses in college and let me tell you...some commentators cannot be understood by an average person.)

Spurgeon covers every single verse in the book of Matthew, and his insights opened up things to me I've never before considered when reading this Gospel. I have learned so many truths, understood concepts that before seemed to go over my head, and been reminded of things I knew but had not really thought about for a while.

I did a lot of underlining in the book and note-making in my Bible, so I can carry with me the truths I learned. I appreciate Spurgeon's take on Jesus' teachings and the events of His life, and I feel like I understand this first of the Gospels more than I ever did.

It's not a short book. 442 pages would seem a lot more daunting to me if I had chosen to sit and read them straight through from beginning to end. But reading a small portion a day of the span of four months has made this easy reading, and it's been the perfect companion to my devotions.

Since he didn't write a commentary for each gospel, I have to say goodbye to his teaching as I conclude Matthew. I already have my Mark commentary in hand, and I'm excited to start it, but I know it will be strange to adjust my reading to a new voice. I've loved these four months learning from Spurgeon, and I have to say, it reminds me of why I love books so much. Spurgeon died 86 years before I was born. I never would have been able to appreciate his wisdom if he hadn't taken the time to put it on paper and if his loved ones hadn't taken the time to publish it. I'm grateful they did.

Freshen Up...Your Plant Life

This may be my most hypocritical post of this entire series. I am, after all, not known for being the plant lady.

In fact, wanna hear a funny story? When I left my job at IWU and went to WBCL, I had the trusty box of office stuff that I packed up from the old office so I could transplant it to the new office. But when I started at WBCL, the previous producer (Jamie) was still there. We had 28 beautiful days together for her to teach me the ropes. I felt a bit presumptuous marching in on my first day with my box-o-stuff, ready to decorate a space that was really still hers. So I left the box in the car. For two days. Including my office plant.

Did I mention I made this transition in July?

Yeah, it didn't make it.

Despite being notorious for not always making the best plant decisions, I really do love them. I love the life they bring to homes. And slowly...very slowly...I'm learning to do a better job and keep these things alive inside this place. So with this newfound (and potentially erroneous) confidence, I feel that I need to freshen up my plant life around our house.

1. Fresh flowers.

Okay, that's probably cheating. But stay with me.

I really love fresh flowers. After Ryan's mom died, I brought home all the flower arrangements that had been sent to the funeral (marked for us) and distributed them throughout the house. It was BEAUTIFUL in here for a couple of weeks! I loved waking up to a bouquet in the bedroom, having one on the kitchen table, and a handful in the living room. So colorful!

Shortly after that, I spoke at a women's retreat, and the event organizers had left a beautiful white pitcher in our room, and it was full of flowers. I left them out until there was no more life in them, but I have decided I want to grab wildflowers from the grocery store a little more often and refill that beautiful pitcher for our kitchen table. It's a little thing...but it's a big thing!

2. Add some succulents.

They're trendy and I buck trendy. But they are so CUTE!! And I have one now, so I feel like this means I should try to learn how to be good and creative with them.

I actually got my one little succulent plant at the retreat where I spoke last month. It was the take-home favor/craft they provided for everyone to make throughout the weekend. I love mine and really hope I can keep it alive! And if I do...maybe I can branch out and try some other things! (I did find this handy post with tips on keeping them alive - and even encouraging them to thrive - if you'd like to learn more.)

3. Try some bigger plants. 

Although we received a bunch of fresh flower arrangements when Ryan's mom died, we did get this beautiful Peace Lily, and I love having it in our living room. It's big and pretty and makes me feel a little bit tropical in the confines of my very own house! (Found some tips on keeping THIS alive!)

If we ever get our someday-dream of having a sun porch, I would love to get a whole bunch of big plants and have my own little sanctuary of joy!

And as dumb as it sounds, there's something about being able to keep a BIG plant alive that makes me feel like I've arrived.

4. Plant an herb garden!

Photo by pintando la luz on Unsplash

Annnnnnnnd here's where we enter do-as-I-say-and-not-as-I-do. I have a total fascination with herb gardens. I've even owned some live herb plants here and there along the way. We won't talk about how they're no longer living.

One of the things I have never been able to figure out about herb gardens (so maybe you can tell me!) is how you possibly use all the herbs. I feel like I cook using a decent amount of them and there's still no way I can possibly keep up with the amount produced by plants! But I think having one would make me feel incredibly fancy. I like to feel fancy.

Do any of you have an herb garden? Can you teach me anything?

5. Keep it colorful.

I'm moving our plant party outside for this last one. We don't have a ton of perennials here at our house. The people who lived here before us had planted a few rose bushes, but that was about it. (Every spring I remember that I intended to plant tulips and daffodils in the fall...but I forgot.)

But we do plant a number of annuals every year, and we love all the color and brightness they bring to our porch. (And people who walk by sometimes tell us they like looking at them too!) I usually plant the same things every year, because I know they grow well in those spots and I know I can keep them alive! We also add a couple of huge ferns just to balance it out, and we love the way it looks when it's all put together.

Even if you just have a little apartment patio, you can freshen up your view with some colorful annuals in pretty pots! And the plants are starting to arrive at the stores, so it won't be long until you can shop and put it all together!!

Freshen Up...Your Day Trips

If you've hung out here very long, you know that Ryan and I love a good day-trip adventure. We love them because they're a relatively low-budget way to do something out of the ordinary, spend time together, and make memories. And we love all those things.

Here's the great news, though: you don't have to be married (or in a relationship at all) to take day trips. If you enjoy doing things on your own, you can certainly plan a trip for yourself, and the best part of that is, you can make ALL the decisions. You could also put together a trip with some friends, with your siblings, or maybe even take the kids in your life and have a fun day out with them!

Maybe you do this sort of thing already, but you need some new ideas, because you tend to go to the same places over and over. Or maybe you never go anywhere because you don't know where to start. Either way, hopefully this little list will help you brainstorm!

1. Join up with a bus trip group. 

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Confession: I've never done this. And it may not be for everyone. But it might be a good fit for you.

Before I was married, I belonged to a credit union that offered trip opportunities to its members. You had to pay for the trips yourself, of course, but someone from the credit union did all the planning and arranging. You just paid, packed, and showed up. Sometimes the trips were full vacations (a few even went overseas!) but sometimes they were bus trips for a day. I remember looking pretty seriously at one that was a bus trip to Chicago for a day of Christmas shopping. I'm not a city driver, so trekking to downtown Chicago was never gonna happen for me. I thought it would be fun to pay the fee, ride the bus to Chicago, enjoy seeing the city decked out for Christmas, get some shopping done, try some new restaurants, and ride back home.

I don't think it's uncommon for banks and credit unions to offer a service like this, so check yours out to see if they have one! Sometimes churches arrange trips like this, and travel agencies may also be able to point you to groups in your area who plan these outings.

(Ryan and I actually think this would be fun to do for a living. Take groups on day trips!!)

2. Check out a state park!

(You can upgrade that to a national park if you have one near you.)

Ryan and I love visiting state parks whenever we have the majority of a day to devote to one. We love hiking the trails, seeing the natural beauty, and soaking up the chance to be "alone" together, even though there are usually many other people all around us doing the same thing.

We pack a picnic lunch, take the camera, and have a fun day. Different parks offer different things, so we adapt our visits to whatever they have to offer. We've boated on lakes, taken a paddleboat around a pond, climbed dunes, hiked cliffs, checked out towers, walked through caves...you name it!

It does usually cost to get into the parks, but the price isn't bad, and we stay for the day so we can maximize our entry fee. Some of our favorite memories are from state park visits! (Ryan asked me to be his girlfriend during one of our hikes, and we planned our wedding in Brown County State Park the day after we got engaged.)

3. Try a Big City Scavenger Hunt.

We did this a couple of years ago, and it was so much fun! Ryan arranged the date after finding it on Groupon - and it was a total surprise for me. I had no idea what we were going to do until we got there. This is the way it works: you purchase the clues to the hunt and when you're ready to begin, you activate the clues and you have an allotted amount of time to find each location. We did the downtown Indianapolis scavenger hunt and had a blast. (You can read about that date here.) There are many city hunts, though, and you can find the complete list here. Even though we don't live in Indianapolis, we're pretty familiar with the downtown area, and even so, it was a fun hunt that taught us new things. So your own city could still be fun, even if you live there!

4. Scour Only In Your State.

If you haven't visited the Only In Your State site, you're missing out! I refer to this site all the time when planning our county tours - especially if I'm not very familiar with that part of the state. This site gives you a glimpse into fun things to do, unique places to eat, and not-to-be missed sights to see in every single state. I've found places I've never heard of hiding in articles on this site. Like this one. (AHEM: Ryan!!!!) The covered bridge dinner series? I could go on with the examples, but I think you get the point. :)

5. Have A Friend Help.

This past Christmas, we gifted our family some day/weekend dates. We planned the whole thing from start to finish, gave them the money to buy tickets and meals, and we had so much fun watching them unwrap their date days. It may have been the most fun we've ever had putting gifts together! If you have a friend who particularly loves doing this sort of thing, ask him or her to plan a day trip for you. Set a budget and see what you end up with! (Be sure to specify if there's something you just can't do. Like skydiving!)


Hope that helps freshen up your day trips! Have some fun exploring and trying new things!!

Freshen Up...Your Dining Experiences

As you know, we do most of our eating at home. I cook almost all our meals, and we try to eat clean 80% of the time. I love the meals I make for us; they are flavorful and delicious. But sometimes this girl needs a break from the kitchen. Sometimes I don't want to cook. Sometimes I don't want a clean-eating meal. And Ryan is great about making sure I get those breaks. 

I'm such a creature of habit, and that extends to my eating-out life. I like to consider myself incredibly low maintenance when it comes to picking a restaurant. It doesn't have to be fancy. It can be Wendy's. You really can't beat the bang-for-your-buck of a 4 for $4. Sometimes I prefer fast food to sitting down to something slow and fancy. 

But like anything else, that can lead to a big, fat, eating-out rut. And as much as I love the ease and familiarity of fast food, I also thoroughly enjoy trying a new place or eating something a little different from our standard choices. Maybe you're in the same boat? Maybe you need to freshen up your restaurant choices as much as I do!

Here are some of my ideas, which I hope we can implement this summer!

1. Explore a culinary trail.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Might as well start out with a lofty goal, right? Have you heard of culinary trails? They're lists of restaurants in (generally) the same geographical area. Sometimes the trail is all about one specific kind of food (like a donut trail) and sometimes it can be more like a restaurant progressive dinner that takes you from course to course. Either way, a trail is an especially great option if you don't like to plan outings, because all the work has been done for you. But even if you do like to plan (and I do!!), this can provide a fantastic break. Enjoy someone else's planning for a change!

If you want to find a culinary trail in your area, just Google it. If you're in Indiana, here is a (long!) list of options. You could pick one theme and try everything in that list! BBQ your way through the state, for example. If nothing else, this helps you see new parts of the state and try your favorite food from a variety of places. Here's another example of one I want to do...it's a chocolate trail! It even has a passport that you can have stamped at every location. Doesn't that sound fun? (As you can see, some trails are meant to be conquered all at once and others are meant to be explored over time.)

2. Try a local place you've never visited.

Photo by Clifford Yeo on Unsplash

You can't tell me you've been to every restaurant in your own city (unless, of course, you live in a very small town with few options). My guess is there's some little hole-in-the-wall diner somewhere near you...and you've never been there. It might even be the kind of places others come from near and far to visit, but you've never been once. It's true: we ignore the stuff right in our own backyards.

Back when we lived in Marion, Ryan and I got up super early one morning, before he had to commute to Kokomo for the day, and we tried out this tiny breakfast diner tucked away in the middle of a residential area. We were the only non-regulars in there, and we discovered the food was delicious! Had we not moved away, I can imagine we would have gone back many more times for early morning dates. 

But in the big picture, not much has changed since we moved. We have a new selection of local places we've never tried, and I'd like to! (There's an itty bitty restaurant here known for its tenderloins, and I've never been there. We should try it this summer.)

3. Treat yourself.

For this point, I direct you back to the beginning, where I mentioned I'm perfectly content with fast food. Sometimes you can switch it up by trying out something fancier than you'd typically visit. A couple of years ago, Ryan and I went to a rotating restaurant down in Indianapolis. It's high up in a hotel and gives great views of the city as it (slowly) spins. Definitely a step up in class and cost from where we usually eat, but it was both delicious and an amazing experience. 

On our honeymoon and again on our 5th anniversary, we took a dinner cruise in Sarasota Bay. (Actually we did the lunch cruise on our anniversary, so we could see things in the daylight) and that was a special treat, too. Beautiful views and way too much (good!) food. 

4. Food trucks for the win!

You didn't think you were going to get out of these suggestions without a little grease, right? We don't live in a big city with lots of food truck options, so they're still somewhat of a novelty for us. But we have a lot of fun with them, and I think one of our favorite food truck experiences was the time we went to the food truck festival. There were probably a couple dozen trucks set up all in one area, and we could pick from several. I haven't forgotten the grilled cheese we shared. It was that good. 

I love food trucks because they do one thing well. Sure, you may not have a ton of variety (unless you hit up a festival) but you should have a great version of whatever you get. 

5. Try a food experience.

The first year we were married, we went on a double date to a fondue restaurant. I loved it. The food was good, but I loved the whole experience just as much. The next year, we went with the same couple to a Brazilian steakhouse, and that was a lot of fun, too. (Even though it did put me into a food coma...) That same couple (are you seeing a theme here?) took us to a tapas restaurant, and we didn't even know what that meant. Even though it wasn't our favorite experience (too much food sharing for our tastes), I'm glad we tried it.

My parents went to an Amish dinner once. It was at an Amish home and gave them the full experience. They loved it. I've also heard that farm-to-table dining experiences can be unique and fun.

***

And of course, Wendy's will still be there for the normal, rushed days. But maybe you can freshen up your dining a bit this spring and summer! (And if you're local and find a gem, TELL ME!!)

Freshen Up...Your Relationship With Your Mom

Before I hop into today's post, it's (of course!) podcast Tuesday! Trivia for days here...from some facts about Noah Webster's first dictionary to the most indulgent buffet in the state of Indiana...listen and learn!

 Listen here

Several months ago, I signed up to be on the launch team for the book Mended, written by my friend Blythe Daniel and her mom, Helen McIntosh. I realized after starting this "Freshen Up" series that the book released smack in the middle of it, so rather than be delinquent about sharing the news of the book, I just decided to incorporate it!

I "met" Blythe back when I worked in radio. She's a literary agent and marketer, so I worked with her in scheduling interviews for some of her authors. When I told her I was leaving radio, she graciously allowed me to take her contact information with me, and I've kept up a working relationship with her over the last four years. I've been introduced to some fantastic authors because of Blythe, and now I'm excited that she released a book, co-written with her mother.

The book is called Mended, and it focuses on healing and restoring mother/daughter relationships, but as I read through the book, I found the principles to be applicable far beyond the reaches of just mother/daughter relationships.

So even thought today's post is about freshening up your relationship with your mom, it's really about freshening up your relationships. Period. So today I'm going to share with you my five favorite take-aways from the book, and then I'll just tell you to go read it so you can understand more fully the wisdom Blythe and Helen shared in its pages!

1. "The walls we build between a mother and daughter don't hold back an enemy - they hold back a relationship." 

These wise words are from the introduction to the book, which Blythe wrote, and when I saw that sentence, I knew this was more than just a mother/daughter book. While I'm a wild advocate for healthy boundaries in all relationships, I know the walls that spring up in relationships can bring much hurt and eventually...regrets. And it's true that sometimes the person we're protecting ourselves from could offer us so much in a relationship, but we're so busy looking at him or her as an enemy that we can't see the potential. (Of course there are times when that person may actually be an enemy, and I'm not advocating for anyone to be in danger, but I think it's worth a look to see which camp the person actually falls into first!) Mended proceeds to help you take healthy steps to understand how to tear down those walls and mend the relationship. (Helen is a counselor, so while the book contains much life-learned advice, she does bring actual training to the table as well.)

2. God is not a substitute for when we don't know what to do - He is the one who sets all of life in motion. (p. 64)

Those words are Helen's, and they are truth. Whenever we're facing conflict, we have a hundred ideas of how we should handle it - and likely all of them are guided by our belief that we are right and the person on the other side of the equation is wrong. (FLAT wrong, probably.) Blythe and Helen encourage running our words and actions past the Lord before following through with them. They remind us that God is a waymaker and spending time in prayer with Him will help us understand what we should do in our unique situation. And in the mother/daughter scenario, following this line of advice also helps mothers teach daughters by example. If you're a mom, and your daughter sees you taking your burdened relationships to the Lord and seeking Him for wisdom in how to proceed, she will learn to implement that in her own life and her own future parenting.

3. When it comes to words, every one of them matters. Some words will be a blessing, and some will be a judgment or a curse. (p. 110)

More wisdom from Helen! I'm a words girl, so I fully agree with what she says here, but my agreement doesn't mean I haven't messed this up myself. Oh how many words (over the course of my life) I wish I could take back. Some were spoken before thinking. Some were spoken intentionally, but that didn't make them right. And it's true. Once you say it (or write it), it's out there. I know I live under the weight of words spoken to me by all sorts of people. I'm sure some of them had no idea what a burden they dumped on me when they said the words. And I know I've done the same to others, and that breaks my heart just as much.

Words can be extra hard if you're not great with them. One of the gifts of this book is that throughout its pages, Blythe and Helen offer specific examples of things you might say in your relationships. They're in bold, so you can't miss them. And sometimes, after reading one, I'd think, "Man, that is really good. I need to remember that."

4. Fear is usually at the root of a controlling person. (147)

Blythe goes on to say, "The controller is controlling situations because she feels as though things won't turn out the way she wants them to (she has a set goal of what she'd like to see)." I think it's usually easy to spot controlling people. It's not always as easy to see why they feel the need to control, so this bit of information was helpful to me.

I remember when my college boyfriend pointed out to me my own tendency to do this. I'd craft in my mind how our days and sometimes even our conversations would go, and I would always write his half of the script for him, too. (How helpful of me, right?) The problem was, he had no idea what his half said, and he almost never carried out his side according to my plans. Then I'd be angry or disappointed, and he was stuck. I am sure I am not fully cured on this, but I do try so hard not to do this in my relationship with Ryan or others. I really don't want to be caught up in this cycle!

5. God is still healing my heart as He does, in layers like filo pastry. There are outer layers that come off more easily, but sometimes the ones underneath are harder to navigate. (154)

I loved that picture Helen offered. And I loved her admission that even as a grandmother and trained counselor, she still has healing and growing to do. What hope that gives me for the rest of life, right? It's also a great reminder to me that life is a journey. I'm not going to wake up one day (ever, no matter what) magically and fully cured of all things for all time. It's always a process, and it's the same for everyone around me. They deserve the same grace.

Sometimes healing is quick and easy. Sometimes it's slow and messy. But it's always happening. God doesn't give up.

***

So there you have it! A peek into Mended, which releases TODAY. Yes, it absolutely is a book for mothers and daughters, but if you have a great relationship with your mom already, or if your mom is gone and you can't make changes to your relationship, please don't think you're exempt from the wisdom in these pages. They apply to all relationships, from family all the way to friends. 

Blythe and Helen send me a complimentary copy of the book to read, and I marked it all up as I went, so that copy is staying firmly on my shelf for future reference. (I wasn't required to provide a positive review, but it was easy for me to do!) 

They also sent me a second copy to share with one of you, so if you'd like to be in a drawing for it, just leave a comment (and if you do so anonymously, leave your name so I know who you are!) - and I'll draw this coming Saturday night, April 13th. So make sure you comment on this post by 5 p.m. Eastern on Saturday night to be included! 

Freshen Up...Your To-Be-Read Pile

I feel a little bad giving reading advice when I know some of you are even more voracious readers than I am. Some of you read hundreds of books every year and are very diverse in your choices, so for you, I probably don't have anything new and different to say. But for those of you who don't usually make it past blogs or social media posts, hopefully I can inspire you to freshen up your to-be-read pile!

I always have to brag on my mom a little bit when it comes to reading, because she taught me to read back in my preschool days. (Clarification: I didn't go to preschool, but that was the age I was when she taught me to read, right there at home in our living room!) By the time I was tested in first grade, I was reading at a sixth grade reading level. I devoured books throughout my entire childhood, because we didn't have cable, nor did we live in town with a bunch of neighbor kids nearby. Books were my friends!

Ironically, it was my choice to major in writing that killed my joy of reading  when I was in college. I had to read so many books for my classes (and most of the books were not enjoyable reading for me at all) that the last thing I wanted to do in my free time was read. By the time I graduated, I had to get away from books for a while. I couldn't bear to read. It makes me sad, now, as I look back, because I think studying your passion should make you love it more, not hate it!

Eventually I got back to reading, and then I started working at the radio station, and I simply didn't have time to read. I didn't have any free time, between working and commuting. Once I quit full-time work to stay home, I got busy reading again, and now I average a book a week. Like I said, I know many of you read more than that, but I can't do more than about one book per week and keep up with everything else (including my daily steps).

Since I give you a book review just about every week during the Saturday Six, you know what I enjoy reading. I continually give you my specific book recommendations. Today I want to give you a few ideas on a broader spectrum.

1. Learn about history through the lens of fiction.

Photo by Janko Ferlič on Unsplash

I was well into my thirties before I liked studying history. I hated history in school. (Don't tell my dad...that was part of what he taught.) I hated history because it was always so dry to read about in textbooks. So many dates. So many facts. Blah, blah, blah. When I got a bit older, I realized I could trick myself into learning about history by reading historical fiction. The stories were exciting, and I could sneak in some learning while I turned the pages. (I've noticed some homeschool curriculum programs use fiction and biographies to teach their entire history spine, because they've figured out kids are more likely to remember what they read in those books rather than textbooks.) So if you're like me and don't love studying history, add a few historical fiction books to your reading pile. You might be surprised what you learn while you're engrossed in a captivating tale!

2. Try the book version of a movie you've seen.

Photo by Denise Jans on Unsplash

They're never the same, you know. The books and the movies. Usually when I watch a movie of a book I've read, I have to tell myself it's something totally different. I get caught up in all the changes, and then I get all ruffled inside. Why couldn't they keep they storyline pure? (I know...there are a million reasons why they make changes.) But sometimes I watch a movie that has been adapted from a book...and I've never read the book. I have no idea what's different. So if you often watch movies without ever bothering to read the book, try picking up the book version and see what you think!

3. Go back to your roots: try a children's book.

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

Because I advanced in levels so quickly as a child, I skipped a lot of children's books and went straight for the grown-up stories. But I have to say, there are many things of value inside the pages of children's books. Even if you don't have kids of your own, and you don't have to read a children's book, give it a try! You might find some great stories you've never read. (I've gone back to re-read the Little House on the Prairie series, because I love those stories, and I hadn't truly read them since I was a kid myself.) If you aren't sure what to read, ask someone who has kids! They can make great recommendations. Or revisit some of your own childhood favorites. (I recently bought some of the Beverly Cleary books just to have, because I loved them so much when I was little. Ahhhh, Ramona Quimby!)

4. Read something that isn't on any kind of bestseller list.

Photo by Nicole Honeywill on Unsplash

It is very, very rare for me to pick up a book that is all the rage. I don't like trendy books much more than I like trendy TV shows or trendy clothing. I've learned that many "hot" books are as popular as they are, because they are pushed by teams of people. The writing itself may or may not be amazing. I have found much joy, however, inside the pages of books that most must-read lists never feature. I love books by local authors, books I find at sales, and books recommended by readers I know and love. So while I won't tell you to be like me and avoid all the latest-and-greatest books, I would encourage you to give some love to "little" authors. The words from their pens could be just as impactful (if not more so) than someone with major social media backing.

5. Read an actual old book.

Photo by Cristina Gottardi on Unsplash

A few years ago, as my mom cleaned out shelves in her house, she gave me some old copies of some of her books. One of them was The Secret Garden. I'd never read that book, and of course as a classic, you can find it republished in all sorts of editions, including mass market paperback. But Mom gave me her copy from her childhood, complete with a pressed flower inside. I read the whole thing straight through, with its old-ish, non-updated language, and its delicate spine that I worked hard not to crack as I turned the pages. There's something delightful about reading an old book from a real old book. (And you don't have to go to some secondhand bookstore and drop a lot of cash on a rare find. I mean, you can, but you don't have to. Just see what you can find at a thrift store or garage sale!)

And if you need more ideas, hop on Pinterest and look up book challenges. You'll find all kinds of checklists that will give you so many more ideas of books to read! Happy reading and learning!