Women's Brunch!

Ryan and I had such a fun day this past Saturday, and it started with a morning of ministry.

Several weeks ago, I received an invitation to speak at a women's brunch in Warsaw, Indiana. (That's about an hour and a half north of where we live.) The friend who invited me "met" me back in my WBCL days, but until Saturday, we'd only talked through email and Facebook. It was our first time to meet in person!

If I understood her correctly, this was the first time their church had an event like this - at least for quite some time - and she was excited that so many had signed up to be part of the morning.

We found the church, and I was excited to meet Melinda in person and give her a big hug! She is a treasure.

I have spoken at many churches for brunches/dinners served by the men of the church, and they're always well done.  But I have to give an extra special shout-out to the guys of this church. Part of the reason this morning even happened was because they wanted to do something to serve the ladies of the church in a tangible way, so they made this entire morning happen. That made a huge impression on my heart, and I have major respect for them taking an idea and putting it into practice.

I walked in to the most beautiful setup, and Melinda said it was all done by the guys. They'd set up the room, set the tables, created centerpieces out of fruit and flowers, and planned the menu for the morning.

And when I say they planned a menu, I mean they planned an actual menu:

We marked the menu with what we wanted and they delivered our plated breakfast to us, so we didn't have to stand in line at a buffet to serve ourselves. They kept our water/tea/coffee/orange juice filled, and when we were done eating, they cleared our dishes away.

The food was delicious and the portions generous. I was truly impressed.

They'd asked me to do a talk called "Take Up Your Towel," which is a talk about servanthood. (Wasn't it so great of the guys to provide a tangible example for us?)

This group was so kind, so inviting, and so wonderful to share with. I had a really wonderful experience!

What a great morning and a great group of ladies. I'm thankful I had a chance to serve them and be part of the day! Thanks, Melinda, for your invitation! Thanks, ladies, for your many kind words!!

The Shafferland Shuffle

Morning, everyone! Happy Sunday! We had a fun weekend that we can't wait to tell you more about, and we're looking forward to a nice, restful day today! :)

* Last Sunday morning (as I told you earlier this week) I spoke at a little church not far from home, and it was a great morning! Our friends at the church invited us to eat lunch with them, so we went out to Prodigy. We'd been there before, but they hadn't, so we really hoped the food lived up to our hype! I think it did!

* This cracked me up: I did some laundry on Monday and hung up one of Ryan's shirts to dry, since it had a stain on it and I wanted to make sure I got it out before it went through the dryer. All day long, when I walked by the guest room, I thought there was a person in there watching me! Ha! We took care of Ryan's mom that night, and she wanted him to read her the children's book, The Wonky Donkey. (Confession: I don't like the book, but he rocked the presentation!) He must have worn himself out, because I looked up later and he was out cold IN HIS BIBLE while he studied it. (No, that is not a posed picture.)

* You heard about my Tuesday too, but I'll say again that it was a fun day. I went with my mom and her friend Sharon over to Gaither Family Resources to have one last hurrah before it closes in a couple of weeks. We ate lunch together, I got my final frappe, and purchased just a few things. (And I'm glad we had our outing on Tuesday rather than the next day. MUCH nicer day.)

* I spent MUCH of Wednesday watching sessions for the writing workshop I signed up for. I took so many notes! Braeya was utterly bored by the whole thing, but she sat with me. And Ryan was cracking me up at lunch - pouring his salsa on his chips bite by bite. I guess that's one way to make sure your ratio works out!

* I made shrimp fried rice (okay...cauliflower rice) for lunch on Thursday, and it was pretty yummy! We went to Ryan's mom's that night, powered by espresso. Aren't the beans so pretty??? I actually took a small break from the evening in order to visit some of my friends who live close by, but then I came back to work on some homework for a church committee and tried to keep Ryan awake!

* Friday night, Ryan and I had to do a grocery and errand run, so we turned it into a mini-date. It was so wonderful. I looked at this silly picture of the two of us with our pre-grocery coffee, and I think it may be the best picture taken of us in a long time. Not-totally-exhausted smiles for the win! And how can Ryan always always always make me laugh with his store shenanigans?

* Yesterday was a good, full day that we loved. We got up early and headed up to Warsaw, Indiana, where I spoke at a women's brunch. I can't wait to tell you more about that. The ladies were so kind, and the guys that did all the work for the morning were amazing! After our morning of work, we had our first county tour in many, many months. It was a gray and kind of cold day, but we had so much fun. A great end to the week.

The Saturday Six

One.

I really should ask you all for information more often than I do! Today my first item comes to you in the form of a question, because I'm curious to see if any of you have used this (or a similar) website. I was looking at one of my friends' Instagram profiles the other day, and she linked to a gift registry for her new baby. The registry allowed her to link items from anywhere on the web, so she had everything from restaurant gift cards to baby clothes to essential oils on there. I know there are more general gift wish list sites that allow a similar thing, but I've never used any of them. I did a little hunting and was intrigued by Checked Twice. Anyone used them? Liked them? Didn't like them? Preferred another site? Tell me what you've tried - if you have!

Two.

If you're a parent, you should probably read KariAnne's post about showing up to parent. But even if you're not a parent, you should probably read the post, because the truth is, we all need to show up for whatever our life asks of us. Show up for work (like really show up for work, not just clock in), show up for your marriage, show up for your friends, show up for your commitments. Just. Show. Up.

Three.

I've read many times that baskets make great buys at thrift stores and garage sales, because you can usually get them at a very low cost compared to what you'd pay for something new. But what do you do with them from there? This post has some tips on cleaning and painting such baskets so they look brand new and full of life. (I never would have thought of stripes!)

Four.

If you're a sucker for beautiful home libraries, you're going to want to see these. Warning: some have ladders. And also: library in a bathroom? INTRIGUING!

Five.

I mentioned yesterday that I've been watching a writing conference online this week. I don't know how many of you out there reading are also writers, but if you are, I have to say this one is very impressive. The whole thing is online and can be done for free. (There is an option to buy an upgraded package that gives you lifetime access to the workshops and some other bonuses as well, but I'm just doing the free version.) I've watched 15 of the 25 sessions and have taken about 10 pages of notes (typed, single spaced). So many presenters, topics, and a VAST wealth of knowledge. I'm impressed by the quality and quantity of material. We didn't have it in our budget for me to travel to a conference this year, so this has been a beautiful blessing and (in my opinion) a worthy investment of my time. Check it out if you're a writer!

Six.

A little over a year ago, I first learned of and read a book by Michelle Griep. It was a Christmas novel called 12 Days at Bleakly Manor and I really enjoyed it. It was a very different kind of setting for me, and I appreciated a captivating option that deviated from my normal fiction options.

So when I saw Michelle had another new book coming out, I decided to give it a try. Ladies of Intrigue just released, and it gave me yet a different spin from my typical fiction reads. This book is actually three stories in one! There are three very different novella-length stories encased in one 282-page book.

Given our current season of life-craziness, this was actually a blessing, because it allowed me to soak up an entire story in a short amount of time and then do it all over again in the next snippet of time. It was perfect for taking with me to Ryan's mom's house when we had our shifts of caring for her.

Each story was set in the 1800s, but each one took place in a different section of that century and also in very different places in the world.

The first story, The Gentleman Smuggler's Lady, is set on the Cornish Coast in 1815. After working abroad as a governess, Helen Fletcher is heading home to England to care for her dying father. Money is scarce, so she manages to find passage on a cargo ship with a kindhearted and compassionate captain. But upon arrival in England, the ship is overtaken by thieves. Though Helen and the crew escape uninjured, she finds later finds herself face to face with the ringleader of the thieves, who seems an entirely different human being in his everyday life.

Story #2, The Doctor's Woman, takes place in Dakota Territory in 1862. Emmy Nelson has just said goodbye to her father, a highly respected doctor. Though she hasn't received formal medical training, a lifetime of working side by side with her father has given her tremendous knowledge and skill. She finds herself brought to Fort Snelling during the Dakota Uprising to help until the Fort's new doctor arrives. When Dr. Clark shows up, he has a personality that doesn't seem to mesh well with Emmy's. But with the need greater than the staff, they have to figure out a way to make working together...work.

And the final story, A House of Secrets (St. Paul, Minnesota in 1890), tells the tale of Amanda Carston, the Ladies' Aide Chairwoman, who is also engaged to be married. Amanda's firm goal is to clean up some of the dilapidated housing in the city, and her first choice is a reportedly haunted house. She has no idea her soon-to-be husband actually owns the house, and she certainly doesn't know why.

I'm always intrigued by authors who can so skillfully write about such widely different places and times. Michelle does this very well, and I didn't feel jolted as I moved from one location and time period to the next.

Who should read this book: If you like stories set in the 1800 time period that aren't just traditional prairie romance, this book is a good choice for you! If your time (like mine) is extra short right now, three small books in one could be a great answer to your time crunch! If you like to travel to a variety of places (within the pages of books) this one will take you a little bit of everywhere!

* I received this book at no cost from Barbour Publishing. All opinions are my own. *

Lessons in Unlikely Places

I think I may have sprouted four new gray hairs this week, because I realized that next year marks twenty years since my college graduation. Stop it. JUST STOP IT.

I really don't feel any older, though hopefully I am a bit wiser than I was in the days of the unfortunate hair experiments. 

For those of you who may be new here and don't know, I majored in writing. Not journalism. Writing. I went to college fully convinced I would learn to write compelling novels and would spend my life cranking out story after story after story.

If I'd had my way about it back then, I would have just majored in fiction. It's all I cared about, so it's all I wanted to learn. Alas, they didn't have a fiction major, and in order to meet the requirements of the writing major, I had to take classes in all kinds of writing. 

I learned two big truths about myself in those four years.

1. I am not a poet at all. Think of the worst poet you've ever encountered. I'm worse.

2. My heart actually sings for nonfiction, not fiction. 

Who knew?

I had a misconception that nonfiction books were all biographies, and I hadn't read a single biography in my K-12 academic career that I found remotely interesting. Once I learned the proper definition of nonfiction and took a class in it, I found I adore nonfiction and if we're all being honest, I don't have the gift of writing fiction. I'm a storyteller, but not of the fiction variety.

Over the course of the past week, I've been attending an online writing conference, and it has been such a boost to my soul. I've chosen to watch every single workshop, regardless of the topic. I know some of them, like fiction, aren't likely to have a ton of information in them that is applicable to what I do. But along the way, I've learned you can almost always find a lesson in an unlikely place, if you just dare to enter.

After all, that's how I found out my best writing fit in the first place. I dared to enroll in the unlikely-to-fit class of nonfiction.

So I watch every conference workshop, even if I think I might not learn a thing. And so far, I haven't closed a single video without taking a decent handful of notes over meaningful points.

It doesn't just apply to majors or conferences or classes, by the way.

You never know when you might find a meaningful friendship with the most opposite sort of person.

You never know when you'll stumble upon a hobby that zings your creative juices.

You never know when you might discover an author or musical artist that feeds you the very words you need to hear.

You never know when you might unearth a keeper of a recipe simply by trying something new and different.

Lessons and life-changing experiences hide in the unlikeliest of places. Don't be afraid to walk through the door. You just never know what you might find. 

A Legacy in a Bible

This year our small group is doing verse mapping. (If you want to learn more about it, this post by Arabah Joy is a great resource and where I learned most of what I know about it.) The premise of verse mapping is that you take a verse and study it in depth, from a variety of angles, to learn as much as you can about the verse or section of Scripture.

As I told you one day last fall, I was so nervous when we introduced this idea to the group, because it was so different from anything we had ever done, and I wasn't sure everyone would be excited about preparing something of their own choosing to share out loud with the rest of the group each week. I feared some might quit the group on the spot or that in one night flat, we would ruin the trust and ease that our group had been building together for the last year.

All of that fell into the category "lies from the enemy."

It is perhaps very true that some of our group members have been nervous to share. Some may feel like it's a lot of work to prepare a verse for every meeting. But I will tell you this: Ryan and I find ourselves shaking our heads in wonder after every single meeting, because the way the verses dovetail is absolutely amazing. None of us confer before a meeting to see what another person is sharing. In fact, even among the couples in the group, some don't share with their own spouse what they're going to say at the meeting. (Ryan and I often don't reveal our verses to each other ahead of time.)

And yet as we take our turns and go around the circle, we see how the verses all fit together. Each of us has chosen something personally meaningful and in the end, they all blend to make this beautiful study. One person will refer to what another person shared moments ago, and I find myself cheering inside because they're listening to each other! They're learning together and from each other!

As I study my verses for each meeting, I usually go back through each of my old Bibles that sit in my office. I have a dozen or so that I've used in my adult life, and each one represents a different season. I've made notes on their pages - some from personal study and some from sermons and group studies. I've highlighted, underlined, and dated.

When I worked on my verse that I shared this week, I noticed that I'd starred it in the Bible I used for the majority of my twenties. That was the season when singleness nearly flattened me, and my prayers to find my husband soared to never-before-seen heights. In this one particular Bible, I'd marked every single verse I could find that somehow helped me hang onto hope that God hadn't forgotten me. I'd marked the verse I shared.

In this season of life, that verse is still dear to me, but for entirely different reasons. But as I shared with the group, I mentioned how it had been one of my go-to verses as a struggling single girl.

The next day, I listened to a teaching session by a writer. She was speaking to fellow writers about preserving personal stories, which you know is a passion of mine. As she offered different ideas for doing that in a practical way, one of her suggestions (for people who really don't enjoy writing) was to make notes in a Bible and leave your Bible as a legacy for the generations that come after you.

Not long after listening to her teaching session, I worked on my next verse mapping adventure. I paged through my Bibles and noticed my own journey with this particular verse, from my teen years through the present day. I'd marked this verse in almost every single Bible, but it was clear from my other notes around it that it meant different things to me in different seasons.

I don't know whether or not anyone else would find anything of value in my Bible-notes, but I'm confident that I love the growth journey I see in their pages as I move from Bible to Bible.

I hope I never give up leaving a legacy in a Bible. I hope I continue to make fervent notes, marking the things God teaches me along the way, and when I'm old and gray(er) I can sit and look back over our walk together and all He's taught me.

And somewhere along the way, in those scribbled notes, I'll find some pieces of wisdom shared by friends who met in our living room as part of our small group. Friends who mapped out wisdom and shared it with the rest of us, so we could all grow closer to the Lord together.

A Sad Little Goodbye

If you've been reading here a while, you have probably seen a post or two about visiting Gaither Family Resources. If you're new here, and/or not a southern gospel groupie, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about! 

It's a restaurant, it's a store, it's a coffee shop...it's wonderful! And it has a special place in our hearts, too, because we ate lunch there the day Ryan asked me to be his girlfriend! It was also the coffee shop of our choice when we toured Madison County. 

At the beginning of this month, we read the news that Bill and Gloria Gaither decided to close GFR so they can focus their time, energy, and resources on what stirs their souls the most: music. The store and restaurant will close permanently on March 1, which gave people about a month to stop by one last time, have one last meal, and shop one more time.

Ideally it would have been great to go back with Ryan, but alas, our schedule doesn't permit it right now. BUT! My mom invited me to join her and one of her friends for a final outing yesterday. I said yes! (Of course.) We had a beautiful day, which was a blessing, since the forecast for today looks very different.

We discovered when we arrived that MANY other people had the same idea we did. The place was absolutely packed. (We learned you could have made a reservation, so if any of your local people are planning to make a last pilgrimage of your own, there's a tip for you!) We had to wait a little while for a table, but the food was worth the wait. 

This is Mom and her friend, Sharon:

 I really did get food. It just hadn't arrived yet. Mom asked me to pray for the meal, so I guess she was testing my faith level. HA!

 It was so hard to pick a final meal from there, but a chicken quesadilla called my name.

I absolutely LOVE their frappes. They've always been the best. Super creamy. So I determined I wanted one more. And it did not disappoint.

We did some shopping, and I was very proud of myself for not buying MORE. I got a couple of books, a CD for Ryan's mom, and a little writing treasure for myself. And I got this Christmas ornament to add to our collection. In addition to the sentimental attachments I already told you about, this particular song was part of our wedding, so it is meaningful to us! I am looking forward to adding this to our tree later this year, with its beautiful story attached.

One last picture for the road:

Thanks, Mom, for inviting me to join you! It was a fun day. I'll miss this little place, and I'm glad I got to say goodbye. 

Speaking Begins!

Speaking of speaking...we have a new podcast for you! Happy Tuesday! We would love for you to hang out with us for a half hour or so, and we hope somewhere along the way, we make you laugh!

Listen here

I wrestle often with the fine line of promoting my ministry and waiting for God to open doors. If you listen to absolutely ANY writing/speaking coach, you're likely to hear that you must, must, must chase down opportunities, market yourself, and be clearly present and visible in the online world if you want to have any chance at ministry opportunities. They tell you to grow your social media followings, develop email lists, and follow these specific formulas so people will know about you and want to bring you in.

They're not wrong. Those formulas are formulas because they've been proven to work.

But I'm not great at marketing myself. I'm much better at shouting out about a friend than I am about (what feels like) begging for my own self. And there's a big chunk of my soul that is truly content to wait for the Lord to open the doors HE wants to open rather than shoving them open myself.

This has been especially true in this season with Ryan's mom. It's been hard for me to know if it's wise to commit to things down the road, because I'm unsure of what will be happening with her. Where will I be needed? I don't want to sacrifice time Ryan might need me by his side to ask him to be beside me in ministry.

So for now, I've been very content to wait for the Lord to open doors, trusting that He will protect those days (since they were obviously His idea anyway).

Sunday morning was, therefore, my first speaking engagement of the year. I had been grateful for a silent January, because we were hardly home, and it would have been next to impossible to adequately prepare and do my job. But it's been so nice here in the month of February, to receive a handful of invitations (both for now and the future). It's nice to know God has some work for me to do, even in the middle of this busy time.

So on Sunday morning, Ryan and I went to see our friends at Hemlock Friends Church, which isn't far from home. We have the privilege of serving there a couple of Sundays a year, usually when their pastor is away on vacation or at a conference. We love that little congregation and consider all of them to be real-life friends, not just people we serve.

I was going to get a picture with the church before we went in, but alas, it was snow-globe-snowy when we arrived, and Ryan didn't want to mess up his hair. Oh wait. No, no that wasn't it. I didn't want to mess up my hair!

Ryan did get a couple of pictures of me while I spoke. I see 2019 still finds my hand gesture game going strong!

It has become somewhat of a tradition for us to also join a group of the people from this church for lunch after the service ends. They invited us again and asked what that restaurant was that Ryan loved so much. We determined they meant Prodigy, though the answer to that question could have been any one of a number of places! So off to Prodigy we went!

I don't remember the name of the burger he had this time, but it had a blue cheese/orange/dill sauce on it. Sounds kind of weird, but the waitress promised he would love it, and he did. Ate the whole thing all at once.

I went for BBQ, and it was fantastic. I'm kind of a BBQ sauce snob (read: I normally skip it entirely) but this was really, really good. I actually pretty much only ate the fries at lunch and had all the meat for dinner. :)

(Also: aren't the fry baskets the cutest things in the whole world?)

It turned out to be a great day with our friends from the Friends Church. I was so glad they were kind enough to invite us back. (Oh! And I spoke about communing from the heart. It was based on the blog post I wrote earlier last month.) A perfect launch to whatever God has for me in the land of speaking in 2019. I'm content to let Him open the doors I should walk through, and that will help me know I'm on HIS path!

DATE NIGHT!!

Ahhhhh…at long, long last, we had an honest-to-goodness Shafferland date night. And. It. Was. Glorious.

Because we were on duty at Ryan's mom's house on Valentine's Day, we had to take our date day on a different day. Ryan worked on Saturday, but for the first time in a long time, he got off work at lunchtime, so we were able to soak up the rest of the day together. I was absolutely giddy.

Weather wasn't an issue (insert praise hands here) so we were able to head down to Indianapolis for some fun! Ryan made lattes, and we set out!

For many months, we've been toying with the idea of replacing some of our furniture. (Some of ours has reached a point of life where it really would only fit in a youth room, so it's time to look at changes.) We enjoy visiting furniture stores to see what we can see. Or at least we usually enjoy visiting them. We really detest being accosted, so some stores are painful. But our first stop on Saturday was SO MUCH FUN!

We went to Bob's Discount Furniture. It was like the carnival of furniture stores. You'll see why in a moment.

To start though, forget furniture. How great would THIS be in our living room!??!?

We played musical furniture, hopping from one thing to the next, trying out comfort and being totally judgmental on looks. (You can do that with furniture. Just not people.)

And then I found this. And I was smitten, hopelessly in love, and ready to take him home to meet the family:

I cant even talk about it. How adorable is he??? (Ryan understands my unhealthy affection for cute desks and just said, "Did you want me to get your picture with it?")

Other amazing amenities of the store? A café where everything (candy, ice cream, and coffee) is FREE.

And the balloon animal artist gifted me the cutest ladybug.

So because we are entirely won over by free coffee and balloon animals, this was our favorite furniture store stop of the day and everything else failed to live up to the hype. Even stores we had previously ranked high on the list.

Things I learned in February: Ryan did not know about Half Price Books, which means I have entirely failed him as a wife. But he kindly took me to one and to my credit, I only purchased ONE book, which he actually scouted out for me!

We had some gift cards to use, and our dinner plan was to go to Abuelo's (or Alberto's, as Ryan calls it), but Ryan found out we also had a gift card to The Cheesecake Factory, so he suggested we go there, get a piece of cheesecake for each of us (to go) and then go to dinner. We could have dessert and coffee at home. OKAY!

So we went to The Cheesecake Factory. Waited in line for a half hour to ORDER two pieces of cheesecake. That was just to order. Then we waited another half hour for our two pieces to be boxed and handed to us. If you're counting, that's ONE HOUR IN LINE for dessert to go.

Know what will narrow down your choices REAL quick? Posted calorie counts. Some of the pieces had almost as many calories as the recommended daily allowance. I did discover, however, that they had a low carb cheesecake that you could get with fresh strawberries. I got that, and Ryan got the not-so-low-carb choice of a peanut butter cup concoction. :)

THEN we went to Abuelo's. It was pretty late (for dinner - at least on Bekah time) when we arrived, but there was a line, so we had to wait again. Our waiter was fantastic, and we tried to be nicer to him than the people at the table next to us, who kept telling him how hungry they were. Well, you know, it's a restaurant, so hunger is somewhat a given. (Eyeroll.)

We shared a fajita dinner, so please note that the plate in each of our pictures is actually the SAME plate. My mom thought we both got one of those! (I sure hope the Romaine recall is over because I had that as my tortilla shell!)

(We also had leftovers on that, by the way.)

When we were done with dinner, we came home, brewed some coffee, and dug into our cheesecake. Braeya was not interested in the low carb version.

This was seriously such a fun day for us. It was just what we needed, and I loved every single minute. Three cheers for date nights! And gift cards! Thank you, gift card givers!