The Shafferland Shuffle

Did you change your clocks?? Just thought I'd ask before you head out for today! HAPPY RETURN TO REGULAR TIME!!

* Last Sunday was a cold, lazy day in Shafferland. We decided on the way home from church it needed to be a pizza day, and below you see my thoughts on the pizza taking extra long when Ryan went to pick it up! You also see Ryan's thoughts on NOT having the heat on yet. We held out until November first, but we did very nearly freeze a couple of times. And Braeya's thoughts on our leftover yogurt...

* You already read about our Monday, but here's a peek at it again. Ryan had the day off work so he could finish our porch repair project, but we had to postpone that due to the extra damage we found, so we had an IKEA date instead! Yes! We got to meet our brand new Indiana IKEA! (We did make purchases, but nothing major or impulsive. Or requiring much assembly.)

* Tuesday was Halloween, so I recycled last year's "costume." Ryan did not dress up this year because we couldn't agree on a costume! LOL! This was, however, our first year to hand out candy to trick-or-treaters, and we had a blast with that. (Although I did lament that the first time most of the neighborhood saw our porch up close and personal, it was a disaster.) When not entertaining candy beggars, I was busy working on some mailing projects!

* Wednesday morning, I conquered the treadmill, but the stair-stepper conquered me. My GOODNESS, that thing is intense!! I made a big pot of soup for lunch and allowed my cooking to double as a heater, since we still didn't have the heat on. (We did cave and turn it on that night.) We also caved and had a peanut buster parfait that night. I am such a sucker for ice cream. I seriously could eat it without stopping.

* Thursday was our 59th monthiversary!! You read about that day too, in all its madness. To be clear, we were not mad at each other, but the day was maddening and frustrating in a way that made for fantastic blog fodder. We celebrated with at rip to the mall to see the We Care Trees before they're auctioned off in a few days!

* I spent almost all of Friday in podcast-land! I interviewed Sarah Philpott about her book on infant loss, and then I spent the rest of the day preparing it to post online! Ryan and I did go for a super quick walk...our trees are so pretty!! (Not for long, I fear.) And the other excitement of Friday? Our oils order arrived. I do love smelling new oils.

* Yesterday Ryan had to work, so I spent the day at a painting class with my friend, Marie! She has a birthday coming up, and I knew she wanted to go to this class, so we just turned it into a gift! :) We had a fun time and I think our snowmen were almost recognizable! I had a great time with her, but I did miss Ryan, so we went out for some errands when I got home, and we got our first "red cups" of the season. (Confession: not a fan. I like them to actually be red.)

And now? If you'll excuse me, I have an extra hour of sleep to enjoy...

The Saturday Six

One.

Listen here

This week's Conversation Cafe is dear to my heart, because I know this topic affects so many of you. A few weeks ago, I featured Sarah Philpott's book, Loved Baby, in my book review, and I had a copy to give away to anyone who was working through pregnancy lost. Several of you entered that drawing, and I wished I'd had unlimited books to send one to each of you! I'm sure there were even more of you reading who didn't enter, but could have. I had the chance to talk with Sarah this week about pregnancy loss, and she not only shared her own story and the hurt of her heart, but she offered great wisdom on how to walk alongside someone who has face this deep hurt lately. Even if you have never lost a child, you probably know someone who has, and Sarah's words can help you understand that friend's journey a bit better. I hope you can listen and learn some new truths!


Two.

Remember earlier this year when my mom had hip replacement surgery and I made all those individual freezer meals for her? Well, my friend Sarah has a great list of meal ideas to take to someone in need...and they are all healthy ideas! So if you know someone about to have surgery, a baby, or just a busy season, here you go!


Three.

My name twin, Bekah Pogue, has written this beautiful piece on feeling hopeless. Bekah and her husband recently moved across the country, and they're still searching for jobs. They're getting (understandably) weary in the waiting, and this piece is raw and vulnerable. Maybe you're not waiting for a JOB, but if you're waiting for ANYTHING, read this.


Four.

 How in the world this item slid to number FOUR in my list is absolutely beyond me and mine, but let's just pause to PARTY IN HONOR OF THE TIME CHANGE!!! Tomorrow you get a whole extra hour of sleep, and a measure of joy returns to your dear Bekah's soul, so don't forget!!! Change the clocks! (Or in the case of my preferred method...now all your clocks will be correct again!)


Five.

 This is a beautiful post by Jill Eileen Smith - about listening to the Lord in prayer and not just doing all the talking. Gulp. #guilty

Six.

Source

This week, I read a book that was a bit of a stretch for me in topic, and I want to tell you a little about it today. A Pocketful of Seeds by Debbie Johnson is a 365 day reading that I knocked out in one week flat, and WHEW! It was a lot of information for one week!

To be fair, Debbie specifically says in the book that it wasn't intended to be the kind of reading where every reader should apply every word. Unfortunately, I am the kind of reader who feels obligated to drink up and apply every word, so I struggled to reframe my thoughts as I read! But before I say more on that, allow me to back up and explain the premise of the book.

Debbie has a background in social work and has been heavily involved in the work of multiple nonprofit organizations over the past few years. She explains some (DenverWorks and Dalit Freedom Network) at length in the readings throughout the book. In the preface to the book, Debbie explains that when we are filled with the Spirit of God, it's almost like we have a pocketful of seeds. We can reach in, grab a seed, plant it, and step back to see how God waters and matures the life of that seed. She says no matter how small the "seed" might be (even something as small as a simple note written to someone), it can bring about extraordinary change.

The remainder of the book contains a short reading for each day of the year intended to stir your thoughts toward ways you can plant seeds of change. Many of the ideas and topics have to do with social injustice and change, but some are more personal and challenge the reader to focus on inward change.

Each day's reading concludes with a challenge and either a Scripture verse or a quote relevant to the topic.

I went into this book with the mindset that this was a devotional book, and after finishing the book, I would say it is not really classified as a devotional. (Though the back of the book does call it that.) Perhaps this is my own narrow-minded vision, but for me, a devotional points you into the Word, and this book points you sometimes through the Word, but it leaves you looking outward at the world and how you can be an agent of change.

As I said at the beginning, this was a lot to take in (information-wise) in the small span of a week. It is definitely better read over the course of time, when you're able to absorb it more fully. And you definitely need to remember Debbie's admonition that not every single suggestion throughout the book will zing you, apply to you, or even be possible for you. That's not her intention!

The book was educational for me, as it opened my eyes to scenarios, problems, and organizations that I hadn't even been aware of prior to reading. (The back of the book contains a list of websites and resources mentioned throughout the book if you find something you want to further pursue.)

Here are a few examples of thoughts I loved:

* "Expanding one's horizons doesn't have to mean moving to the Wild West or even off the street on which you grew up. It just means opening our eyes to the world around us." (p. 23)

* I feel like a quilt. Scraps that God has sewn together. And you know what? Quilts are beautiful and full of meaning. In fact, I'd rather be a quilt than a perfect, flawless, untouchable coverlet." (p. 48)

* "We can carry the crushed in our hearts. May God transform our feeble carryings into miracles. He is able." (p. 71)

And here are some examples of her themes on different days:

* Provide Mosquito Nets (p. 123)
* Hang Out with the Differently-Abled (p. 157)
* Loan Your Executive Skills (p. 187)
* Recognize Everyday Heroes (p. 235)

If you're looking to stretch your comfort zone, this book might be a great resource for you to read through on a daily basis in the coming year. It would also be fitting if you're working with teens or college students, mentoring someone, or leading others in business. There are definitely some innovative ideas for service and living out our faith. You probably won't be drawn to every idea. But you might be drawn to plant some seeds, and you never know when God might bring about a huge harvest from one seed!

* The Blythe Daniel Agency provided a copy of this book to me at no charge. All opinions are my own. I have one extra copy to give away to anyone with a US mailing address who would like to enter a drawing. Just leave a comment that says "I want to plant some seeds!" and I'll enter your name! I will leave the drawing open until Friday night, November 10th, at 10:00 p.m. ET and I'll announce the winner on next week's Saturday Six! *
 

59th Monthiversary

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you guys. Not all monthiversaries are picture perfect. (Please don't confuse this with "not all monthiveraries are picture-laden. Because even the imperfect ones are heavily documented.)

Yesterday we celebrated 59 months of marriage. One month short of five years. I think I'm as excited now as I was five years ago when this date on the calendar marked the final countdown toward becoming a Shaffer! These things matter to me, and even though yesterday was just a normal work day, I wanted to make it special.

But it didn't start out all that special. The morning was normal in routine, but right about the time I got ready to leave home for carpool and volunteering, I realized I couldn't find my travel mug. Ryan and I have matching metal tumblers that we use for our coffee travel mugs, and I could not find mine. By the time I gave up and grabbed Ryan's, I was already two minutes late in getting out the door. (All Type A people are cringing with me, aren't they?) And it turns out that in school commute time, those two minutes MATTER!)

* I got all the stoplights between my house and picking up the kids. And they're not short lights, either.

* Brother wasn't ready when I arrived, even though I was late getting there. Sister and I waited for him (although in fairness she was squealing "LET'S LEAVE HIM!") and the minute he got in the car, she decided to pick on him, which caused him to sit in the back seat staring at her without closing the door or putting on his seat belt. Finally, I said, "We are late! Let's go!!" He doesn't like to be late, so that spurred him to action.

* Got back on the road and arrived at another f.o.r.e.v.e.r. long stoplight. I just needed to turn right, and you can do that at that light, except I was one car back, and the car in front of me was going straight. So we lost another two minutes there. I counted.

* Got behind a city bus, and there are many stops on that route.

* Pulled over for an ambulance.

* By the time we arrived at school, all the people we usually beat were ahead of us, so we sat and sat in the drop off line.

* Finally completed my delivery and hurried (safely) toward the exit. I just needed to make a right and get on my way. As I approached the exit, a car from the parking lot darted out in front of me and sat in my right turn late...left blinker flashing.

Sigh.


I was late to volunteering, which is not a big deal to them, but it's maddeningly huge to me. And it scared me to think what the rest of the day might be like!

Fortunately that was the worst of the day, but my goodness!

One of my favorite dessert stops in town is J. Edwards (local bakery) and yesterday happened to be the start of their holiday open house. OH! And it's cupcake week there. So it seemed almost rude not to stop by and get some monthiversary treats.

I present to you "some monthiversary treats."

We ate lunch together (leftover soup: "souper" romantic, huh?) and then we both went back to work for the afternoon.

It was a cold, nasty day, so after Ryan got home from work, we just rested for a while. Took this truly terrible picture of the two of us, in which I look like a giant and Ryan appears to be missing an arm. I would have retaken it, but I felt it sort of fit the aura of the day.

For our little celebration outing, we went to the mall to look at the We Care trees. (If you're not from around here, We Care is an auction that takes place at the beginning of the Christmas season every year. The main auction is done by a local radio station, but there are also trees that individuals and businesses decorate and donate each year, and then the trees and all their accessories are also auctioned off. We like to go to the mall to see all the themes!)

I guess I should say that most are trees. Some are scenes, like this one. The two huge banners on either side are the accompanying gifts to this entry!

 This was a very pretty one. Nativity scenes, garden flag, books, and the whole nine yards!

 A garland made from book pages - next to my middle name? It must be a Bekah tree!

 The city of fists? I thought it was the city of firsts?

 We have our own business? We made a donation? I learned so much on this trip!

Before we left the mall, we stopped by Target, and I found these cute mugs. I was right in the middle of setting up a selfie with them when a teenager rounded the corner into our aisle and looked at us like "Ummmm middle aged people doing a marriage selfie? Weird." LOL! She was nice about it, but it was awkward. I think that may have been the reddest my face has been for a while! (And therefore the selfie was quickly accomplished and did not turn out nearly as darling as I planned. But such was the day, right?

We ended our evening by visiting Pheebs and her people, having coffee and cookies with them. (One of our favorite things!)

And the icing on the cake (cupcake?) for the day? After THIRTY LITERAL TRIES to get an acceptable shot of the two of us, I loaded the memory card onto my computer and found out my camera had focused on the background in every. single. stinking. picture.

Because why would it have gone any other way?

Oh, 59 months. You slay me with your details. But imperfect though the day may have been, it was spent with the man I love. He makes even the most maddening, imperfect day a delight and so much fun. (I really mean that!) He is a treasure that I appreciate just as much (and more!) today as I did five years ago when the final countdown to marriage began!

Hey 60 months! Howsabout you bring us a smooth schedule and in-focus photos!

A Plan C Date

(Before I begin...happy 59th monthiversary, Ryan! I love you!)

This past Monday, Ryan took a vacation day so he could wrap up work on our porch project. Alas, if you heard the podcast, you know that the rotting boards and beams ended up being much worse and more numerous than originally thought, so we had to spend more money, order more supplies, and there would be no working on Monday. (Hard to install beams you don't have.)

Sooooooooo, on to plan B! If you heard the podcast, you know that the guy working on our porch invited Ryan to help him roof a house somewhere as a labor trade. He was so excited about that, because spending more on materials meant we needed to help ourselves wherever we could!

Alas, it rained Monday morning, so the guy delayed the roofing until 1 p.m. We worked around the house, and right about the time we sat down to lunch, the guy texted and said the rain hadn't let up, so the roofing could not commence. Sadness on so many levels.

We had plans at my parents' house that evening, to help them with some projects, but we had a brief window of opportunity in the afternoon, so...

...PLAN C! ROAD TRIP!

We looked AWFUL. I was on 3rd day hair and no makeup, Ryan hadn't shaved his head yet, and we didn't even care!

Because:

 What's that, you say?

Indiana has its very own IKEA now! No more traveling to Chicago or Cincinatti, unless of course, we just want to! It just opened last month (on my dad's birthday!) and we hadn't been there yet. Part of that was purposeful. I don't like to go to stores when they're brand new and crazy with crowds still. In fact, even going on this day was pushing it for me. It wasn't as calm as I would have liked. But it wasn't horrible.

This is actually the first time I have ever seen a  one story IKEA. It threw me off! But of course it's still huge, and there was plenty to see.

The worst part, for me, was the showroom area, where they have all the little rooms all set up like real houses? Those are tight spaces to get through and the crowds that day weren't very forgiving to people like yours truly. I wanted to go through at my own pace and marinate. No time. They were in a hurry.

So we had to do our pausing in the regular part of the store where items were just littered about at random.

Like chairs.

And desks! I fell in love with this one. It's a stand up/sit down desk that goes from very tall to very short with the punch of a button. And I thought, based on the name, it was meant to be.

We paused at the cafe to get a mid-afternoon snack. Chocolate cake for me, cheesecake for Ryan, AND SOMEONE TELL ME WHERE TO BUY ONE OF THESE COFFEE MAKERS!!!

We shopped until we ran out of time. I definitely want to go back when we have more time AND it's not so crowded!

And maybe when I'm actually put together!

It wasn't what we planned, but it sure was fun!

Walk a Mile in My Shoes: Elementary Teacher

One of the biggest (and most unexpected) perks of blogging has been the chance to meet and become friends with other bloggers! Some I've met in person, and others I talk with solely online, but all of them have been blessings to my little world. And today I'm excited for you to meet one of those friends: Tamar Benjamin!

Tamar lives in Boston, and Shafferland hasn't toured out that way yet, so I've not met her in person, but I have come to appreciate many things about her. One (and not the reason she's here today) is her photography. My GOODNESS, can she ever take amazing photos!

But photography is her side hobby. Teaching is her profession, and it's much more than that. It's her passion. I hate to say out loud that I don't know if I've ever met a more passionate teacher, because I have many passionate teacher friends. But Tamar blogs often about her teaching journey, and through those posts, I've come to appreciate her devotion to her job. She has a fun classroom that I wouldn't even mind being part of, and I probably would learn much, even though I'm (ahem) a bit above her average age!

Tamar has been kind enough to send along some of her thoughts on teaching along with some of her classroom photography. I hope you learn a bit about what life is like in an elementary classroom these days! Just so you know, this is Tamar's 6th year as a teacher, and her students are third graders! 

1. In one day, you can be a teacher, psychologist, parent, mediator, circus master, doctor, nurse, and more.

Did I just hear a bunch of teachers yell YES? Today's teacher does more than teach all the main subjects. They educate the "whole child," which means more than imparting academic knowledge. Throughout her school day, Tamar cheers up kids whose feelings are hurt, helps them move past (and learn from) frustrating mistakes they've made, and mediates fights over who won a game at recess or who said what about whom. I think that means some days she also serves as a detective! Of course her young charges are kids, so she contends with sneezing, coughing, and worse (and we'll just leave the worse at that).

Regardless of the size of her classroom, she has a multitude of personality types to recognize and juggle while keeping everyone on task with learning and working hard. Tamar makes it a priority to reach every child every day - in a recognizable way. She gives hugs, sets boundaries, and wants all her kids to know they matter to her. It's a huge job, when done well, and from my perch, Tamar does this well.

After a full day of giving and investing, though, she gets to go home alone at 4:00, and that allows her to recharge for the next day!

2. This is NOT a cushy job with summers off.

Doesn't it just make you cringe when you hear of someone who went into an education profession because they wanted summers off? (I can say this because that was my own plan many years ago, and thankfully I changed courses!)


With so many school systems going to a balanced calendar, summers are much smaller than they used to be, but regardless of the length of that "vacation," Tamar wants you to know that teachers work countless hours behind the scenes.

She may get to leave the chaos of school at school, but Tamar works at home every single night, looking for new lesson ideas that will really stick with the kids, writing lesson plans, emailing colleagues and families, and making sure she is as prepared as she can be for the days to come. She often goes to the classroom on the weekend to get lessons prepared and make sure she has the best plan of action in place for her kids. She added that most teachers either work a second job over the summer months or spend that time doing professional development or curriculum preparation for the coming year.

3. Teachers don't become teachers because they aren't smart enough for another "cushier" job.

Teachers - at least GOOD teachers - become teachers because they want to make a difference in the future. They want to help shape the lives of the next generation by pouring into them during their formative years. Teachers choose their job just like doctors choose medical school and rabbis, priests, and pastors choose ministry. It's a calling for each of them.

4. Teachers put much of their own money into the job. 

I think we all know that teachers are not the highest paid folks on the planet. But we may not realize just how much of their personal salaries go right back into their classrooms. Tamar said many of them spend thousands of dollars each year to buy materials for their rooms to ensure they are giving their students the best possible environment to learn.


Schools do have spending budgets, and they do reimburse their teachers for some of the expenses they face, but without money from their own pockets, every teacher's room would be more drab, their activities less exciting, and their cabinets a bit bare. (Side note from me: this is a great reminder when thinking of places to offer a donation! If you can help a teacher, you would probably make his or her day!)

5. You fall in love again every year.

Regardless of the dates on the calendar or the size of the classroom, teachers have students in their care for 180 days. In that time, they fall in love with these impressionable little minds. They get to know these kids inside and out. They have inside jokes with them and get to know their likes and dislikes. (Doesn't that make you feel great as parents? The teachers care about the kids YOU love!)

When those 180 days come to an end, they have to say goodbye, and it's a loss for those teachers. Sure, they want to see their kids grow up, move on, and thrive in their next environment, but they also want to hang onto them and keep working with them. It's an actual grief when they have to let go.

But then a new year begins, and a new group of students walks through the door, and they fall in love all over again with a new group of kids, and the cycle starts all over!

Thanks, Tamar, for letting us peek into the world of an elementary school teacher! Thank you for all the hard work you put into your classroom every day, and for desiring big things for your classroom and the kids in it! Kudos to ALL of you out there who teach elementary-age kids. It is a calling, just like Tamar said, and you don't hear thanks enough! Your work matters!

To see a list of all the "Walk a Mile in My Shoes" posts, look here!)

What I Learned in October

First of all, it's podcast Tuesday, so here's your weekly dose of Shafferland storytelling. Enjoy, my friends!!

 Listen here

Secondly, it has somehow come to be the end of October - WHAT?!?!?!!? That is just crazy talk. But it is. It's Halloween (national candy day for me) and tomorrow is NOVEMBER. Nuts.

So in honor of the end of October, I bring to you the things I have learned throughout this fine month. They are quite random in content, and hopefully will enlighten and enrich your life in some way!

1. You can shop at the Goodwill online.

Did you know this? I had no idea! Or if I had an idea, it certainly left me. It seems kind of odd to me, on one hand, because I feel like I want to be able to see the stuff in real life for myself, but on the other hand, it's very intriguing! (Here's the link!)

2. Spaghetti squash is a pretty decent pasta replacement.

I cooked with spaghetti squash for the first time this month, and while I won't lie and say it tastes just like pasta, I will say it is a pretty remarkable replacement. And it certainly was better for my waistline!


3. I like using prepared meal plans.

Also this month, I started using the prepared meal plans from Dashing Dish, and I loved them. They forced me to try new things that I wouldn't have been brave enough to try if I didn't "have" to, and they saved me time in planning interesting menus on my own. I had burned out a bit on my own meal planning, so this was a blessing!

4. Some tiny homes are TOO tiny.

When Ryan and I went to the tiny home show earlier this month, we had the chance to tour three tiny homes, and one was just tooooooooooooooooo tiny for us. I'm okay with minimizing my stuff, but it took minimalism to levels I could never achieve.  

5. I really needed my high school self to know it would be OKAY.

I think this gem my mom uncovered in some cleaning says it all. This girl needed some reassurance. And tweezers.  

6. I retreat better at home.

Last year, I took a day for a "personal/business" retreat to reflect on the previous year and plan for the year to come. Trying to be all trendy and cool, I went to a coffee shop for my adventure, and it turned out to be a huge disaster. I was distracted by everything, I worried that I hadn't purchased enough to "pay" for my table, and I really got very little done. So this year I did the same retreat (for more than one day) but I stayed at home.  It made all the difference in productivity! (For me!)

7. We still can't do "just" a little project without much drama ensuing.

Remember when we lived in Marion, and we wanted to upgrade the bathroom and ended up having to cut into the wall and redo a bunch of pipes? Remember when we lived in Marion and wanted to fix a pipe under the house that had frozen and ended up having to replace all the plumbing in the entire house - clear out to the street? Remember when we lived in Marion and had the new heating installed and ended up having to reinforce the entire second floor ceiling after the installers caused it to sag? So we moved to Kokomo. Remember when we just wanted to paint our garage and the paint can dropped and splattered all over the open garage door, floor, a borrowed pressure washer, and Ryan's head? Remember when we wanted to install new appliances and had to entirely dismantle the fridge to get it in the house and the scratched dishwasher really wasn't scratched (after we installed and uninstalled it)? Well, this summer we planned to paint the railing and beams on our porch. Paint. Just paint. We discovered an area of rot on one of the beams, so this month, a guy came to help Ryan fix that. We discovered way more rot than we knew was there, had to order new beams, and the entire porch had to be dismantled, including the soffit. Yeah. It never ends. Also. I cried. Over all of them.

8. Parsnip French Fries: a surprising win.

In keeping with the aforementioned use of the Dashing Dish meal plans, I happened upon the day when she wanted me to make French Fries out of parsnips. To say I had low hopes would be putting it mildly. I actually had NO HOPE for this recipe. None at all. But I dutifully made them and was shocked out of my mind that they were actually delicious AND tasted like real fries. Even Ryan thought so. (I didn't tell him what they were until he had tried them.) Shut the front door.