First Looks

Remember how I told you Ryan and I threw all tradition to the wind when we elected to spend the morning together the day of our wedding? Well we also decided we wanted to see each other in our wedding attire before the wedding began. My main reason for wanting to do it was because I wanted that first exchange between us to be as intimate as possible. Even though we didn't have a ton of people at our wedding, I didn't want it to be something the whole beach witnessed. And...since we got married at sunset, we needed to be able to take a bunch of pictures before the wedding, while we had the advantage of daylight. SO. We elected to do a "first look" before the wedding.

When we arrived at the resort the day before the wedding, we walked around for a while (neither of us had ever visited there before, so we had no concept of what to expect as far as the location went) - looking for the perfect spot to see each other for the first time.

We chose a little gazebo not far from the entrance to our room. We decided to meet at 2 p.m. for our first look, so about 5 til 2, I sent Cassie outside to find Ryan and tell him I was ready. His mom was doing a photo shoot with the groomsmen...and please let the record show, they told me to wait a few minutes. Yes. AGAIN the bride was ready first. Ahhhhhh. :)

Before I show you our first look together, can I tell you about my first look at myself? I commented over and over throughout the engagement that I never really felt like a bride! Not even when I tried on the dress (when I bought it or during alterations) or when I had my bridal showers or any of it. I just never got the "bride feeling" people talked about. But when I looked in the mirror for the first time after I was completely assembled, I burst into tears.

I was a bride. ME. The girl who had prayed for this day for 30 years...was a bride.

 That was me looking back at Sara and Lynnette saying "I'm a bride!!" (Think they were crying too at that point.) I just stood for the longest time, looking at myself and absorbing that moment. I, Rebekah J. Freelan (in her last few moments AS a Freelan) was a bride. And for those of you who understand my years and years of self-esteem issues, you'll understand what a huge thing it was for me to also look in that mirror and think I was pretty. I so rarely think that. But I did that day. I looked in the mirror and thought oh if only I'd known all those many years ago....that I'd turn out pretty on my wedding day...I'd have been so relieved.

 And then it was time to go. Time to walk down the little road that separated me from the gazebo...and see my almost-husband. (It was 80 degrees that day, by the way, so this was the beginning of a serious sweat-fest.)

 Deep breath. Walking up the ramp into the gazebo. Ryan was ahead of me with his back to me. The two groomsmen, Adam and Mark were lurking nearby, and Cassie and Ryan's mom were there with cameras (one focused on each of us) -and Ryan's sister Bre was there too. They stepped back and let us enjoy our moment.

 Even before I'd seen his face, I was completely overwhelmed by the emotion of knowing the man in front of me was about to become my husband. That he had done all of this just for me. That he had worked so hard to make this day so perfect...and it was. It was perfect in every. single. way.

When I first walked in, I said, "I'm here," but I must have said it too quietly because he didn't hear me. So I stood for a few moments, and this was what I could see:

Finally, when I realized he wasn't turning around because he hadn't heard me, I gathered my composure, took another deep breath, and said, "Sweetheart?"

 And this was the look on his face when he turned to see me:

And then:

It was the most tender moment - just like I'd always hoped for.

 We just whispered to each other, all kinds of love.

 And then he wanted to take in the whole look:

 And I loved it. Loved watching his face as he looked me over and said over and over and over again how much he loved my dress.

 And I LOVED his wedding outfit. (Of course, I'd already seen it, but I still loved it.) He looked SO so handsome.

 Twirling for my almost-husband. (And by twirling, I mean turning slowly.)

 Delight.

And of course, a little kiss. (For the record, I think this wedding, pre-photos included, contained the LEAST amount of kissing of any wedding I'd been to. Apparently no one really wanted to see us kiss!)

 Okay sorry this is such a long post - but not really sorry. :)

After we had our first look, we started taking other pictures. Ryan's mom served as our pre-wedding photographer because we only had the professional photographer for two hours (essentially for the time of the wedding itself). His mom did an AMAZING job. My niece also rocked it with my camera, right alongside her. All these first-look pics you're about to see were taken by Cassie. You did amazing, Cassie! Thank you!!!

My mom was the first in my family to see me in my full gear, and she cried when she saw me.

 My mom isn't a huge crier, so this was a pretty big thing that she cried when she saw me.

(That's Ryan's grandma in the background, along with her husband. They are so sweet! Love them.)

Next up to see me was my dad. Those of you who have been close to our story know why these pictures mean so much to me. Dad also cried when he saw me, which surprised me. He wished me blessings, which was probably the biggest gift he could have given me in that moment.

 (Yes. He was in a coat in 80 degree weather. Love that guy.)

 I think second to seeing Ryan, this was the most I cried all day.

 Asking Dad if he wanted to walk me down the aisle. I wasn't sure he wanted to, so I was nervous - but I knew if I didn't ask, I'd regret it.

 My face when he said yes.

 And after that exchange, I needed Ryan. He was right there and held me while I whispered in his ear that Dad would walk me down the aisle.

Also had the chance to greet both my sisters. Julie first...

 (Please don't pay attention to the clip in her hair. She didn't mean for it to still be in for this picture.) Anyway, she loved the dress. So glad she was able to make the trip for the wedding...she did a great job with a camera for me and was the only reason my parents were able to make the flight. So appreciated her help in getting them there and back!

 Sisters!

 And Lori! So glad she could be there too - wasn't sure for a while that she'd be able to make the trip because of her work schedule.

 And Lori's husband, Jeff, who married us. He did such an amazing job.

Sorry again for such a long post but I wanted you to feel like you were there. Oh my goodness. How much I cherished this time! Loved it so so much! Memories that I will treasure always.

And Now I See Why It Takes Flo An Hour in Hair and Makeup

A few weeks ago on Mid-Morning we talked about doppelgangers. I've been told I look like Flo the Progressive girl. And in researching Flo for that show, I learned it takes her an hour in hair AND an hour in makeup to achieve her Flo look. I thought that was ridiculous...until....I got married. Y'all, it is not a quick thing to go from...well...what you see every day to bride material. Here's how it went for me.

After my great morning with Ryan, we parted ways for the last time before the wedding. I took a shower and then one of my bridemsaids, Sara, and I got in the car and headed to the salon for me to get my hair done!

I chose the Sassy Hair Salon in Siesta Key largely because they had a website and were open on Sunday. (Virtually no salons are open on Sunday down there!) Anyway. They were amazing. So warm, welcoming, accommodating, and genuinely seemed to want to celebrate with me on my wedding day! They offered me my choice of water, coffee, or wine (hello!!! Coffee!!) and then I settled in for an hour and fifteen minutes of getting my hair done!

Of course, I was busy texting the entire time. :) I had to text all the guests who were traveling south to get to the wedding to let them know to take a different route than what most GPS's would say to avoid the traffic jams....I had to check in on Ryan...and I had to check in with Facebook!

 

Sara and my sister, Lori. She got in the night before and said she would go with me to the salon if I'd pick her up on the way. So I did! My best friend, Lynnette, was there too - she'd gotten her hair done right before me, so she was there when I arrived. (She's taking the pictures...therefore she's not in them.)

A look at the back (and hey!! There's Lynnette in the mirror!) - the guy doing my hair, Greg, commented on how much hair I have. Tell me about it!!

Adding the veil, baby! I think this is when it started to feel real that I was getting married. Sitting in the chair at the salon with a billion bobby pins and half a can of hairspray on my head - and that veil crowning it all.

(By the way - I didn't really have a hair plan when I went in. I'd gone on Pinterest and chosen two or three pictures of loose curls with the hair pulled away from the face and took pictures of them on my phone. I thought it seemed a shame to get an up-do and then cover it with the veil. So this was my beachside curly do!)

The makings of a bride!!

After that, it was off to find some lunch! Sara commented later that she couldn't believe how calm I was - even driving the carload of us around town! Bride on board, baby!! Guess where we went to get some lunch? McDonald's!!!! Yep, this bride wanted a McChicken and a big ole iced tea on her wedding day. :)

As we got on the road, I had to drop my sister back off at her condo so she could get ready for the wedding, and I had to pick up my niece (who is all grown up and STUNNING) so she could serve as my personal photographer for the afternoon. We went back to my room, where Lynnette and Sara joined me to help me finished getting ready. While I worked on my makeup....Lynnette and Sara (best bridesmaids EVER) ironed my dress. It had gotten just a wee bit wrinkly in transit.

 

Meanwhile, I was concentrating SO hard on my makeup. My dear friend Marie taught me how to do my wedding day face, but do you think I took a single note on the class? No. So I was busy trying to remember the correct order for applying all the layers so that I had enough to look vibrant but not so much that I looked hoochie.

I tried to appear confident....

 

But I really felt more like this:

I was most nervous about the eyes - but Cassie said I nailed them! (Figuratively speaking, of course.)

Then it was time to apply the jewelry. I wanted to go barefoot during the actual ceremony and only wear my flip flops to get around the grounds for pictures and such. So Lynne Ford loaned me these little "beach sandals" to wear. It's essentially an ankle bracelet that has a part that covers the top of the foot and hooks around your toe. I learned those sometimes are not easy to get on when you're also wearing toe rings. Woopsie!!

Earrings...I'll have to take close ups of all the jewelry for you. The earrings were made by my friend Rachel, with blue stones (because it was one of our wedding colors), pearls and crystals (because they were both in the detail of my dress).

 

Sara put my bracelet on for me...it was my gift from Ryan the morning of the wedding. It had white and brown pearls in it - and the brown pearls matched the pearl in his tie chain. I LOVED it.



 Then all that was left...was the dress! How do you get into this thing???? :) (It really wasn't all that difficult. I was just trying not to give anyone too much of a view on the way in!)

And now the real test - will. it. zip?

Indeed it did - and much better than the last time I'd tried it on. (Guess skipping the cokes those last two weeks paid off!) I added the necklace (hand blown clear and blue glass, also made by my friend Rachel) - and the outfit was complete!

Final step: add some spritz and it was FINALLY time to go see Ryan in full wedding gear!

The Start of a Perfect Day

I really want to tell you about our wedding day...not just our wedding ceremony. So bear with me here!! (And then I'll backtrack and tell you about our highly adventuresome trip TO the destination.)

Ryan and I talked about the whole tradition of not seeing each other before the wedding and I told him I was really not a fan. So, in our very non-traditional way of doing things...we began the day by meeting up for some time alone.

This is me BEFORE seven o'clock in the morning, waiting in the little courtyard outside my hotel room for Ryan to arrive. (Please let the record show I was ready first.) (This has not happened in our entire relationship career.) (Granted it is much easier to be ready when one does not have to do one's hair or put on one's makeup.)

We took our coffee and cookies (we're adults...we can have cookies at 7 in the morning if we want to) and the presents we got for each other...and our Bibles and journals...and headed to the beach!

Just gorgeous down there....

We had the most beautiful time together. (I decided to keep most of those things a blog secret - not that we don't trust you but that was our alone time together, so I'll just leave it at that.)

I will tell you...I would not have wanted to start this day any other way. It was such a blessing to have those two uninterrupted hours with Ryan at the start of our wedding day. We were able to share moments that have become unbelievably cherished memories in both our hearts. It calmed my heart to see him, talk to him, hear his words of love and comfort, and to see the warm look of love in his eyes.

After we finished up on the beach, we went to this little food cart in our resort complex. We'd gotten (not gonna lie - SUPER YUMMY) hot dogs there the day before and we noticed they served breakfast food too. So we went back for breakfast burritos.

Yes. This bride began her wedding day with 2 cups of coffee, a cookie, and a breakfast burrito. I think I forgot about FITTING INTO THE DRESS!!

It was actually kinda cool...while we were waiting on the breakfast, the guy making it asked if we were part of the wedding party on the premises. We told him we were the bride and groom and he gave us breakfast on the house! We were so thankful for that blessing!

I loved the whole morning. It was sunny and warm - over 60 degrees at 7 a.m. actually! the perfect way to start a wedding day. I am so thankful this was how we chose to start our day.

I GOT MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been told my people need wedding day pictures. So I'm here to deliver...part 1 of a thousand, I'm sure. :)

 

I thought today I'd just give you an overview of the wedding day, and then I'll come back and recap the different parts if that's okay. :)

 

But I'd like to say before I begin that the day was 100% perfect in every way. Of course there were hiccups - and a couple that might have unglued some brides, but I didn't care. I was married. That's all I cared about. But our weather was gorgeous, I did not have one ounce of stress, and Ryan and I just really enjoyed everything about all of it. We keep talking about the day and how much we loved it. And we hope you love it too - via the bloggety blog blog!

 

Had my hair done at a salon not far from the hotel. This guy was really good. He had no idea the work he had cut out for him when I walked in the door. :) He took me from Mia Thermopolis before...to a glorious after.  

Did my own makeup. That worried me more than anything else. Had I gotten married in a more traditional fashion, I was going to have a friend of mine do it. But alas, I had to take a class from her and then hope I remembered how to do it!!

Loved everything about getting ready. I had my bridesmaids and my niece with me and I just took my time (all the while drinking iced tea and eating a McChicken.) (What bride eats McChickens on her wedding day?)

Obviously the kind that forget they have to fit IN the dress....the moment of truth here. Will it fit?

Seeing myself for the first time after I was completely ready. I cried. I had both a pretty day AND a skinny day. You girls will appreciate how hard it is to achieve both those things in one day!!

Had a "first look" with Ryan....

My family....the mafia. :) And please make note...Mom has on Victoria's Secret sunglasses. Hee hee hee.

Our wedding party...Adam and Sara....Mark and Lynnette.

Walking down the aisle to meet my love.

Listening to Ryan's recording of a song he did just for me.

Gorgeous ceremony. Loved it so much.

THE KISS!!

Mr. and Mrs. Ryan Shaffer!

Sunset in my husband's arms.

Florida in December = Beautiful.

 

Come back tomorrow for more?

Heart Vows

I'm a dedicated blogger, and you can know that the mere fact that I'm on my honeymoon will NOT keep me away from y'all this week. I know you want to know about the wedding! But it seemed tacky to pause the wedding itself to blog for today, so I'm going to take today to share a sneek preview with you and then I'll do my very best to begin actual wedding coverage tomorrow. Hope that is okay with you!

Ryan and I did what I lovingly called "repeaty vows" - and I'll share those with you eventually. But we also wrote our own vows to one another. Kind of a little letter to the other. And by little, of course, I mean mine was a page and a half, single spaced. So for my first blog as a married woman, it seemed only appropriate to share with you the things I love most about Ryan and the promises I made to him - as I read to him during our wedding yesterday. Enjoy:

Sweetheart, do you remember the afternoon when I sat on the floor of my living room in front of you and read to you from the journal of verses I’ve been praying over you for many years – even though I didn’t know you were you? I read you this verse: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. (James 1:17)

I already knew that day that you were my good and perfect gift – sent to me as redemption for the pain I’d lived through before. And with every word you’ve spoken and every action you’ve taken, God has confirmed to my heart that you are my gift. My redemption.

I love the way you pray for me – both in front of me and when we aren’t together. I love the way you have proven yourself to be a strong leader for me spiritually and how you guide us together before the Lord, not as my dictator, but as my loving leader. I love how you have unreservedly accepted me as I am and gently challenge me to be everything you see I can be – especially those things I cannot see in myself.

I’m amazed at how you trust me – after the pain you’ve lived through. And I’m amazed at how I trust you. Two wounded hearts can only trust like this after God has woven healing in them. We are proof of that. I love the way you understand me – even when I don’t understand myself. You know my heart in ways no one ever has. I love how you reassure me of your love through your words and through your actions. I love how you sense my needs and meet them before I even ask. I love the precious gift of your time you’ve given me, making me your priority and showing me now how I can trust you later with your time.

I love the fun we have together. I love our giant, obnoxious laughs and how we giggle until we cry and snort and then we laugh some more because that’s just funny. I love our jokes and the phrases that make us seek the other’s eyes, even across a room, to smile.

I love how you serve me. I love how you let me serve you. It’s never forced…it just is because it’s God-breathed.

I love how you comfort me when I’m afraid or sad. Even over the phone or through our notes and journals, you have a way of calming my heart and making me feel safe. I love how you guide me as we make decisions together and how we work through everything as a team.

I love how you compliment me and build me up when I feel I’m lacking. I love how you appreciate the things I do for you. I love how you appreciate the person I am. I love how you see a girl who felt invisible. Remember when you told me that? I see you. You do. I know it.

I love how you gently care for me and bless me and how you allow me to do the same to you because you see it is how I love you.

Ryan, you are my best friend. I am unguarded and unafraid in front of you. I joyfully take on a lifelong journey of learning at your side. I promise to make our home a safe place for your heart to dwell. I promise to value the man and love that you are. I promise to cherish you – this good and perfect gift God has sent to me. I promise to nourish you, encourage you, and love you. I promise to pray for you and with the help of the Lord, to be the helpmate you need to walk by your side from now until forever.

I’m honored you’ve chosen me to become your wife. I’m honored that our Abba would entrust me with your heart – this heart that I love so deeply.

Hear this promise from me today as I take it from Scripture:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up. A time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak.

In each of those seasons, I pray we will cling to each other and build an altar that points to God to honor our love story.

Scripture says, let us not love with words or tongue, but with actions and in truth.

And my love, I say…let’s do THAT.

(A photo from the day I bought my dress...just to give you a sneak peek of what is to come. Hope you love it!)

It's the Weekly Recap! (And the Wedding Day!)

Well, y'all, before I launch into what I've been up to this week, I'll tell any of you who may have forgotten....today is our wedding day!!!! Yes, indeed! As you read through this list of leading-up-to-the-big-day details, yours truly will be preparing to walk down the aisle. Can't wait to tell you all about it. Seriously. Can't wait.

* Last Sunday afternoon, Ryan and I did wedding crafts all afternoon. Yes. He helped. (Melt.) And that evening, I had my (hopefully sole) bridezilla moment while we were packing. We worked so hard to pack everything we would need for the wedding and honeymoon. He wanted to see how much room it appeared to take up. You can be the judge of that:

* Monday I woke up with a serious case of the nerves!! Not nerves like "I'm so scared to do this" but nerves like "AAAAAAHHHH I'M GETTING MARRIED!!!" Had to pray my way through that! After work, I got busy putting together the activity pack for our trip (because we are overgrown two year olds) - and then I did my wedding pedicure. I did it myself because in truth, I really don't like salon pedicures. I am incredibly self conscious about my feet and hate to have them touched (except for by Ryan). So I wasn't paying however many dollars to be self-conscious for two hours! (Part of my something blue.)

* Tuesday evening I got my wedding manicure. This one was a trip-to-the-salon adventure. Oh how I have missed my Shellac manicures!! It was such a treat to go and be pampered for the evening...and as always, Debbie did a FABULOUS job. This is exactly what I wanted.

 

 

* Wednesday night I was absolutely pooped, so I came home and rested. After all, there's no time for the bride to be sick on her wedding day, right? So I decided to respect my need for rest and...rest!

 

* Thursday was my last full day of work before the wedding, so I spent the day crazy busy working to make sure everything was set for my absence. I got some GREAT gifts from my co-workers that day too. Seriously. The best co-workers ever. They showed up with gift cards and snacks and all kinds of stuff! And Jeri (you know, the one that made me believe 10K's are fun??) brought us these to use at our party the night before the wedding:

 * Friday I worked a half day (who does that the day they leave for their wedding?) and after Mid-Morning, I went home and hopped in the car with Ryan - and off we went for our wedding palooza! Nothing tests love like 24 hours in a car together right before a wedding, right? Nevertheless, we had a great time on the road!

* Saturday was the longest day OF MY LIFE. And not because it was the day before our wedding. It was largely because I had two hours of sleep and spent 2 hours and 45 minutes on the interstate waiting for a line of traffic to exit. MAMA. But we finally arrived at our destination and got all settled in...had dinner with our bridal party, and enjoyed a little party with our families too!

 

No Pinterest Inspiration this week.  I'm getting married. Everything came from Pinterest. :)

 



Waiting for Love

I am not sure what actually makes a person an expert on something. But I'm going to go out on a limb and say that after 34 years of being single...I might qualify as something of an expert on the subject.

And so, on my last day as a single girl...I want to say a few things to those of you who are single. To those of you waiting for love.

I realize that getting married isn't for everyone. I have some friends that don't care if they ever get married. I don't understand that. I've longed for this since I was four. But I understand that it's not for everyone. And if you're one of those people that really doesn't care...good for you. But if you're one of those who really does care...who feels that life is wildly incomplete without marriage...who wonders sometimes if God even remembers you're here...keep reading.

* Don't stifle those feelings. I tend to feel deeply. And God heard every single heart cry about being single. There were days that it hurt so much to be alone that I cried...sobbed...from depths I didn't even know I had. I didn't do that in front of people, but I did it with God and I'm glad I did. It proved to me how much I want this and it showed God the sincerity of my heart.

* Start praying now for Mr. (or Mrs.) Missing. I started praying for my husband while I was yet in high school. (Had no idea he was roaming the same halls!) And as time went by, I prayed more fervently. I prayed all sorts of things over him. I prayed verses. I prayed character traits. I prayed journals full of prayers. I read Stormie Omartian's The Power of a Praying Wife and prayed those things over him for months at a time. I read entire books of the Bible (the short ones in the New Testament...not like Deuteronomy or something) as prayers over his life. I prayed laps around tracks and circled literal country miles in prayer behind the wheel. And now I'm so glad I did. Every one of those prayers accomplished SOMETHING somehow in his life to make him ready for this next journey.

* Read. Read every book you can get your hands on about marriage. I spent my twenties reading marriage books. And by reading, I mean I sat with a ruler to underline and a highlighter - scribbling notes in margins and journaling powerful words. Not sure where to start? These were some of my favorites: Married Lovers, Married Friends by Steve and Annie Chapman, Passion and Purity by Elisabeth Elliot, Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge, Beautiful in God's Eyes by Elizabeth George, A Woman After God's Own Heart by Elizabeth George, Lady in Waiting by Debbie Jones and Jackie Kendall, When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy, When Dreams Come True by Eric and Leslie Ludy, The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian, and Love Life for Every Married Couple by Ed Wheat.

* Attend conferences if you can. Yes, I was the single girl who signed up for one day seminars and workshops at church that had to do with marriage. Yes, I sat alone. But some of the best lessons I learned came from those events, and now I know them BEFORE marriage.

* Observe every marriage you can. I have watched so many couples over the years, not in a creepy stalker sort of way, but in a student-of-marriage sort of way. In those times, I learned things like...wives who cut their husbands down publicly are not attractive. And if that's how they act with an audience, I shudder to think how they act behind closed doors...or...marriages where both partners are not committed to really wanting kids but they have kids anyway result in a lot of drama...or...it really IS possible to still be wildly, crazy, madly, newlywed-like in love with your spouse after twenty-plus years of marriage. Learn everything you can while you have the time.

* Don't push God. It may feel like He's forgotten you, but He hasn't. Every single tear, every single hurt, every single good time and bad time of your single years will be used when you're ready for marriage. I'm so glad now for all the years I had alone because it's taught me to appreciate Ryan that much more. I wouldn't have appreciated him so much if I'd met him back in high school. And all these years of living on my own taught me that I'm capable of so much more than I thought I would be. He's getting a better girl now because of all I've been through.

* Even if you think He's forgotten you...He's writing your love story. Some way. Some how. After Isaac left, I really thought it was all over. No love for me. I remember once that Julie Crandall told me she was still holding out hope that Isaac would show up on my porch and ring the doorbell and tell me he wanted me. He never did. But you know who did? Ryan. God's redemption, sent at just the right time, to redeem every ounce of brokenness I'd been left with.

So if this is you...waiting...hurting...wondering...you keep persevering. Keep going. He's got a plan. And I bet you anything....it's magnificent.