A Virtual Bridal Shower

Saturday was another first in the land of the engaged FreeShaffers...a bridal shower!! Since so many of you said you've loved going along this journey with me, I thought you might like to go to the shower via blog post! (And don't worry. I won't post any of the ultra embarrassing pictures.) (Maybe.)

And this may take a couple of posts. Hope that's okay!

My shower was held at Greentown Wesleyan Church, and Ryan's mom was the mastermind behind it. She did an AMAZING job. I so appreciated her hard work!!

The shower had a coffee theme. Hmmm. Wonder what inspired her to do THAT!?!?! :) All the tables were decorated with candles and coffee beans. Loved it so much.

 

This was the first time I'd seen my Aunt B since I got engaged, so she wanted to see the ring. Boy that was a tough request to fill... :)

The lovely ladies of my family in attendance. Of course you know my Mom...and then Julie came up from Indianapolis for the occasion...and Aunt B, too! :) I think Mom failed to get the scarf memo...

This is "Grandma Sue." She has been a longtime friend of our family, and she goes to church with Ryan and me. Back in my desert days, she listened to my cry for hours on the phone and prayed valiantly for me. She figured out before most at church that Ryan and I loved each other and said she loved the idea of the two of us together. Nita asked her to pray over our food and the shower - and I loved being prayed for by Grandma Sue! (She said I could call her that...and since my own grandmas are in Heaven now, I'm so grateful for her!!)

I call this piece - Bridal Smorgasboard. I kept telling myself...remember the dress. You have to fit into the dress. Don't get too fat for the dress. :) All the food was so good. We had breakfast casseroles and French toast bake and fruit salad and breads and muffins and..and...and...

...and COFFEE!! HELLO!!!!!!!

Before we started the main part of the shower, Grandma Sue asked if she could share something. She told a story that she'd told me back when I was in the desert. You can read the full story here if you want - very very cool redemptive story.

Anyway. So she told that story to all the ladies present - which were a mix of my family, Ryan's family, and ladies from church. Everyone had tears in their eyes when she finished speaking - and I just so appreciated what she had to share! Thanks, Grandma Sue!

And then we played a game called...how well do you know Bekah? I was a bit afraid that I might not know myself all that well!! :)

Everyone working diligently on their answers....

Getting ready to give the answers - with my future mother-in-law, Nita. Isn't she beautiful?

Singing a little opera. Okay just kidding. Reading the answers. And you can't see it but I still have a firm grip on that coffee cup!! :)

So that's the bridal shower...part A. Hope you liked it. I think tomorrow I'll let you take the quiz. See how well you know your bits girl!!!! :)

It's the Weekly Recap!!

Last Sunday, Ryan took me to my first ever Colts game! He LOVES football and I'd never been to a pro game before. So he found us some tickets and off we went! I still understand (ahem) NOTHING about this game, but I made a fun day of it anyway and just adored being part of something he loves so much. Even better...the Colts WON! 

* Monday night I got to meet more of Ryan's extended family and that was one loving bunch. They welcomed me to the family with many hugs (and pizza) and I loved it! I did not take pictures so they wouldn't sit around 40 years from now and talk about that day the crazy Bekahrazzi girl showed up with the camera. :)

* Tuesday night I had dinner with Jenny - for the first time in a LONG time. I'd missed her! She brought a little gift for Ryan and me - our very first "Mr. and Mrs." gift! LOVE IT!!!

Then I went home and Ryan came over to help me work on the office. It was a MESS. (Seriously. Hoarders should have showed up.) We worked for a couple of hours and got it whipped right into shape. So thankful for a fiance who isn't afraid to jump in and help (and in truth, does a way better job of it than I do).

* Wednesday night: night #2 of premarital counseling. We learned how to argue. Yes. I actually needed lessons in that! And after that...we had a little coffee/dirt pudding date. MAN it was good. (Random trivia fact: dirt pudding was the very first thing Ryan ever made for me. Good choice. Way to my heart = through a dirt pudding filled tummy!)

* Thursday was the only day we didn't see each other this week - sob. I hate those days! But I got a lot done, including stopping by Rachel's to get my wedding jewelry.

I did a little wedding shopping for odds and ends and then many chores at home. It was a good night to get stuff done but I much prefer nights that include Ryan.


* Friday night I lost several years of my life in line at Meijer. It seriously looked like Christmas Eve in there. Good GRIEF!!! I put on Facebook that if I didn't make it out...people could send my Christmas cards to Meijer, attention aisle seven.

Then Ryan and I road tripped to Indianapolis to pick up my best friend, Lynnette, who came in for the weekend to be part of my wedding shower and bachelorette party! SO glad to see her!

* Yesterday (and I'll post much more about this in the coming days) I had my first ever bridal shower and bachelorette party! Such a WONDERFUL day to be able to spend with my friends. They loved me so well! Here's a sneak peek:

Pinterest Inspiration: I found this one this week when I hunted around for Thanksgiving ideas:

Source: thedatingdivas.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

You write a message on a piece of paper and bake it into a crescent roll. I just bought a tube of dough - this girl doesn't make rolls from scratch. (That's my Mom's gig, not mine.) And I printed the little free printable for Ryan - because I appreciate him so much! OH! And I rolled the dough in cinnamon and sugar before I baked it - just to give it a sweet edge.

Random Thoughts from the Engaged Brain

I have so many small thoughts rushing through my head...not enough to each merit their own post, but perhaps if I brain-dump them all into this post, that will create some free space in my head. So I suppose that means...welcome to life in Bekah's brain. I'd wear a hard hat if I were you.

* THANK YOU, thank you, thank you for all your ideas (and effort in that direction for those of you...ahem...Julie...who found yourself with Friday brain) toward my something old. Y'all are CREATIVE! Thanks for the comments and emails...you've given me some great inspiration. I love it. There were so many good ideas, I'll probably have 12 "something old's." LOL!!

* WHAT is this new bridal show called "Bada bling." Seriously? These dresses are um...a lot of dress. (AKA I think the dress I posted yesterday would fit well on some of these brides.) I just think it's in poor taste for the dress to weigh more than the bride. But that's just me.

* It's still fun to run into someone in the store that I've not seen since I got engaged...and hear them say, "Did I hear that you're...." (Almost as if finishing the sentence would negate the engagement.) (Actually it might be kind of funny to fill in the sentence with something totally unrelated and watch their reaction.) (Why do I not think of these things while I'm in the store?)

* Ryan had a long day yesterday and it was such a joy to come home and make dinner for him and spend the evening spoiling him. I'm sorry his day was rough but I was so glad that spending the evening together made it better.

*Braeya is obsessed with this new bed. Ryan moved his bed over last weekend (leaving him stuck at home on a couch for the next three weeks - BLECH!) and Braeya is IN LOVE.

This is where you'll find her most of the time. Curled up watching I Love Lucy.

* Believe it or not, we have almost everything done for the wedding. I have about 2 craft projects left to do - both pretty minor - and I think that is extraordinary for a wedding that had only 8 weeks to be planned. To be 3 weeks away and not be scrambling has to be some sort of Bekah-record.

* Curiosity question - for those of you who are married - how long did it take you to sort of figure out a regular schedule together after you got married? Ryan and I talk often about the things we need to prioritize into each day but I know the meshing of schedules and commutes will take an adjustment. Just curious how long it took some of you to settle in.

* So excited that my best friend is here this weekend! She came in for my bridal shower and bachelorette party. So excited to see her! Welcome to weddingland, Lynnette!

Well...New, Borrowed and Blue, Anyway

Okay, peoples.

 

Help.

 

I've just been ITCHING to tell you all about the wedding plans and show you stuff because, well, I'm a girl and I like to do stuff like that. But there are some things Ryan and I want to keep a secret until the ceremony, so...sigh...I wait.

 

But I've run into a glitch, so I need your help. You know that whole "something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue" saying? Yep. Struggling with that one. Let me show you what I have.

 

My something new is my beautiful dress:

Hee hee hee. That may or may NOT be my actual dress. (Hint...it's not.) Although if I'd picked that one, I never ever would have to suck in during the wedding.

 

And then there's the something borrowed. One of my blognonymous friends let me borrow her veil, and I adore it. (This picture feels so Father of the Bride to me...)

 And then there's my something blue:

 Aruba Blue, to be exact! (Don't worry. It's not going on my fingernails. Just on my tootsies.)

And because blue is one of our wedding colors, I also went to my friend Rachel for some of her amazing handmade jewelry. One of these two will be my necklace. I have to get the dress back from alteration and try it on with both necklaces to see which one I want to use.

Anyway.

I DON'T HAVE SOMETHING OLD!!! At this rate, I may have to be my something old. :)

I'm not carrying a traditional bouquet, so a lot of the things I initially thought about are out (brooch, handkerchief, Bible, etc.).We don't really have heirloom jewelry in our family. So what should I use for my something old?

Any ideas?

Things I Look Forward to Enjoying

Twenty-four days remain until I become Mrs. Ryan Shaffer...and I adore writing that.

Most days I still can't believe that this is my life...that he's chosen me and that very soon the wedding I attend will be my own. How is this possible? I'm waiting for the moment to hit when I fully absorb that I'm the bride this time.

But this I can tell you. There are so many things I look forward to about the post-wedding life. Things I have longed to enjoy for many years, though some of them might seem silly when I type them outright. Even so, I fully intend to enjoy every moment of these things.

* Morning coffee. Ryan and I are both avid coffee drinkers and I'm excited to find our own version of morning coffee. Reminds me of my grandparents (who lived out their marriage in this very house) and their daily ritual of morning coffee and devotions.

* Being a car passenger on a snowy day. I hate driving. Well, I mean, I don't mind it entirely but when given an option, I'd ALWAYS rather be the passenger. I can't imagine the joy of being in the car on a snowy day - and NOT being the one to drive.

* Someone to pray with. Of course I can pray by myself but there is something so lovely about sharing that with someone else.

* Cooking dinner for Ryan. How many times have I longed to have someone here to cook for? To plan for? To shop with? Now he's here and I can't wait to fulfill that dream and desire.

* Decorating the Christmas tree together. When you put up seven trees, you need help. (In a variety of ways.) But I"m not just looking for a helper. I"m looking for someone to SHARE with. And I found him!)

* NOT walking into family gatherings alone. In fact, I'm ready to not walk into ANYTHING alone anymore. Family gatherings, church, weddings, you name it.

* Someone to plan for. My day planner has scribbles of all sorts of dates I want to plan and execute just to make him smile. I love having someone to plan for!

* Not falling asleep by myself. And while we're at it - not waking up by myself.

* Someone to laugh with - and believe me - we do a LOT of that already!

* Weekend road trips!! Taking off for something fun - and having Ryan by my side!!

* A new last name! I'm updating the post to include this one because I'm SO excited about it. So excited to be a Shaffer. (And not just because making a cursive S is more fun than a cursive F.)

 I love it.

Let's do THAT.

My First Colts Game

There's this thing called football...ever heard of it? I really hadn't either until I started dating. But while I don't understand anything about the game, let it never be said that your Bits Girl doesn't give valiant effort to full participation in those things that quicken the heart of her man.

 

And so it was that last Sunday, I donned a new Colts shirt (gift from the love of my life) and Colts socks (gift from the love of my life) and Colts earrings (gift from the best future mother-in-law on the planet) and blue nail polish (chosen and applied by yours truly) and a Colts sweatshirt (borrowed from the love of my life) and two strands of beads (bequeathed from my Colts loving sister)...

 

...and we went to a Colts game!

 We were right in the middle of this photo opp when some guy on a bike said, "Oh are you selling those tickets?" Do we look like people who are prepared to sell these tickets? I think not.

 My official photo with Lucas Oil Stadium. And an ill-placed pole that blocked part of our view.

 Our seats. GREAT seats for photos. Great seats period. But when you're afraid of heights, these seats cause you to cling a little more tightly to the one you love.

 He didn't seem to mind.

 This bad boy flew around before the game. Ryan said if he were in charge of flying it, he'd be tempted to fly it as close to the crowd as possible. I so hope he never gets the itch for his pilot's license...

 Not that I ever watched Dallas Cowboys Making the Team show...but if I had, ever in my life, I'd have to say their coaches would have not liked these lines. But it's still better than I could have done. (Their non-matching outfits messed with my OCD!!)

 Welcome to the field, boys!!! Wanna know something funny? Never saw Andrew Luck the entire game. Found out later he had one of the best games of his career. And I didn't even know he was in the house! Football fail.

 Perhaps because I was too busy being fascinated by the giant inflatable horse?

 Loved the National Anthem (sung by a man who could actually sing and didn't try to be all fancy pants) and the giant flag that covered the field.

 KICK OFF!!!

 My patient, long-suffering sweetheart who paused for photos. I hope he watched a little of the game amid my shoulder-pokes and "what's that??" So like taking a two year old to a game.

 The only Dolphins fan in our section. If he was standing and no one else was, I knew I shouldn't clap.

 TOUCHDOWN BABY!!!!!!! (That's a good thing.)

 The one thing I learned in the game. When to yell FIRST DOWN!!!! It only took until the 4th quarter to get that one.)

 Enjoying my first game. From a seated position.

 Photo of my friend Ehrin, who was in this section. See her?

 In my next career I want to be Blue. You don't have to suck in.

 COLTS WIN!!! 23-20!!! (I understood that part.)

 Goodbye first Colts Game ever in my life!

And you've now enjoyed a football game post which contained no actual photos OF THE GAME. Rookie.

In Which I Prepare for a Wedding

Y'all, I'm weary. In an effort to keep everything above reproach, I've spun circles around myself to explain that I am NOT pregnant, I am NOT cohabitating, and a host of other NOTS. So in that vein, I say to you - you have every right to judge me for the content of today's blog. You have every right to lecture me. But this post is just supposed to be a funny story about wedding prep. So can you just judge me ever so quietly and let me continue to giggle at myself for the ridiculousness that is this portion of the adventure?

I am a schedule sort of girl. I pride myself on specific chunks of time set aside for things like devotions and exercise and basic I'm-really-not-a-hoarder cleaning. But I think when the Bible said that pride goes before destruction, it was referring to the engaged woman. The engaged woman whose life (especially when only possessing 60 days in which to plan a wedding) is suddenly taken over by things like dress shopping, vow writing, alteration appointments, hair color, and making lists of things to pack. (Plus about 400 more things.) (Plus trying to see all the friends who want to meet my fiance before the wedding.) In order to do those things, you have to give up life's more basic pleasures.

Like showering. (I'm KIDDING. I still take showers.)

So the whole firm resolve to do the 30 Day Shred EVERY DAY from 30 days ago until the wedding has morphed into a flabby resolve to do a few crunches when I have 2 spare minutes between projects. (The other day, that was when Ryan was busy assembling a TV. I tumbled onto the floor beside him and started contorting into awkward versions of crunches. He stifled a laugh and said, I'm so proud of you, honey. Good answer, Love.)

Instead I've tried to cut my portions at mealtime, cut out pop, and any froofy coffee drinks that don't come in a non-fat version, and snack on things like graham crackers rather than Blizzards.

But a couple of weeks ago, when I had time to do the 30 Day Shred, I woke up the next morning and my inner thighs were SCREAMING. I saw Ryan that day and as I gingerly limped away from him, he said, "Did you hurt yourself, Baby?"

I threw a disgusted glance his way and said, "As a matter of fact, I did. I put my heart and soul into that stupid workout so I can look pretty in my dress for you and the ONLY area it seems to have affected is MY INNER THIGH. I think I'll put a note in the wedding program to please take special care to notice the slim inner thighs of the bride - WHICH NO ONE WILL SEE IN MY DRESS.

(Warning: this is the part where you might be tempted lecture. I beg you to swallow it.)

Ryan and I are getting married on the beach. As in...in the sun. Ryan suggested we tan in preparation for this.

I haven't tanned in 10 years. Last time I did so was in preparation for a wedding in which I was a bridesmaid sporting an ultra pale blue dress and my ultra Casper complexion was not a good match. So I tanned. And then I said...no more. I knew it wasn't good for my skin.

But I'm getting married. In a white dress, which, last time I checked, is even paler than ultra pale blue. And we're going to honeymoon in the sun, so it would be good to have a base, I suppose.

So I looked up a tanning bed and made my way in to buy a package.

The girl-who-is-really-good-at-her-job at the front desk also talked me into a bottle of lotion, and I made my way into the little room and prepared to tan.

But you know how it goes. You can only reach SO far when self-lotioning. And given that I'd just met the girl at the front desk, I didn't think I should run back out there to see if she could get my back. (That and the large picture window overlooking a major highway....)

So.

I did the best I could and I tanned. (And nearly had a heat stroke. They should air condition those things.)

And the next day I yelped when I got in the shower because APPARENTLY the lotion on the back failed ENTIRELY. And I'm burned all the way down my lower back and the ahem...lower than that region. WITH (oh don't miss this part) - a white stripe down my spine where apparently the bulb did not exist.

So I'm a pink and white skunk on my backside. The parts everyone can see? No visible sign of color.

So I say this to you - after I get married and you see pictures? Please take note of my hard work for slim thighs and a well-tanned back.

Sigh. At least it makes for good blog fodder.

This is Really Real!!!

Sometimes Ryan and I shake our heads and say - is this really our lives?? How did we go from where we were and the hurts we had...to being together...and being 28 days away from being married? How did this happen?

 

Last night we were driving home and Josh Wilson's song Before the Morning came on. Oh goodness - how many HUNDREDS of times did I listen to that song during my desert and cling to it for hope while simultaneously believing it would NEVER be true for me? That the pain I was feeling would surely kill me. Surely.

 

And yet it did not and the song is true - it really was just the dark before the morning.

 

Ryan and I spent much of this past week beginning the (apparently never-ending) process of combining our households. And with each step we took, it felt just a little more real to me!

 

Last weekend, we purchased our first "together" piece of furniture. An entertainment center! Here's something I adore about Ryan: he's a go-getter. We walked in the door with it...and never mind that it was 9:30 at night...he opened the box and set about assembling it. Melt.

 Ummmm....perhaps there were more pieces than he bargained for?

 For those of you wondering...Braeya has transitioned quite nicely to having Ryan around. She loves him ever so much and apparently she also loves to supervise his work.

 2 hours later and...DONE!

 So then just this weekend, Ryan and our friend Adam showed up with a trailer full of "the big stuff." As you saw in the weekly recap...one of the big things was this mattress. I did not think they would get it up the stairs. To turn that corner right there and make it up the narrow staircase is...excruciating. And I think both of them would offer a hearty amen to that. Nevertheless, they did it!

 Ryan estimated the mattress to weigh in excess of 200 pounds. I think they both deserved a frappe for that, don't you?

So it's really real...he's moving in, and every time I walk past something he brought with him...or something we've purchased together...I'm so blessedly reminded that the song is true. It really was just the dark before the morning, and now the morning is HERE!

* Clarification - again - because I had a question about it. NO we are not living together before we are married. We were just moving his stuff in so we could get the house put together before the wedding. He is still living at his house and I am still living at mine. *

It's the Weekly Recap!

* Last Sunday afternoon we rearranged my bedroom to make it our bedroom. Ryan will be moving into my house after we get married, so we wanted to kind of start over and make this space ours. I've never before had help in cleaning or rearranging a room, but in a God-orchestrated kind of way, Ryan loves doing both, so we spent the afternoon together making this OURS. LOVED IT. And this is my favorite part of what is now in the bedroom:

* Monday evening we had our first premarital counseling session. I was a tiny bit nervous about it - never been to premarital counseling before! Our pastor met with us and my favorite words he said were the ones we parted with - when he said he fully expected we would get married and be married for the rest of our lives. I love knowing others see that in our relationship!

* Tuesday (brace yourself) I stayed home from work, sick. I woke up feeling like I'd been run over by a truck and my head hurt so much I couldn't even open my eyes. I knew it was slick out (thank you, Sandy!) and I didn't think I had any business being out operating a motor vehicle like that, so I called in sick. Didn't even get up until 1 p.m. I rested all day and then that night, I ventured forth because it was the night of my dress alteration appointment! Obviously can't show you a picture of that, but here's a pic to hold you over..

* Wednesday evening was date night with Ryan and we actually just stayed in and enjoyed dinner and watching TV together. I was in desperate need of a night of nothing. Ever have a day like that? We also had one very darling little (blognonymous) trick-or-treater that just melted my heart!

* Thursday night I had dinner with my friend Laurie - and check out this taco salad I ate!

Almost every bite, I'm sorry to say. (Trying to take it easy on the food before the wedding sure can make a girl hungry.) Then I had a chance to see Ryan for a bit - and we had one of the most beautiful talks I think we've ever had. I will treasure that one always.

* Friday night I went to Ryan's to do the great tear down of the kitchen at his house. We went through everything and picked out the things we planned to bring to my house for the combining of the households. It was like Christmas morning - finding new treasures!!!

* And yesterday was officially moving day for Ryan...minus Ryan, of course. He went ahead and brought over all the "big stuff" while he had a decent weather day and our friend Adam was free to help. My favorite part was when they attempted to get a king size mattress up a very narrow staircase. They did it. Uh-mazing.

Pinterest Inspiration: I've been wanting one of these for a while - for our room so we can write gross love notes to each other. (Gross for anyone else who sees. We love gooshy stuff like that.)

Source: doitandhow.com via Rebekah on Pinterest

So I made this one. Scrapbook paper - I used a glittery blue since we're going with a beachy cottage theme in our room (well, once we move). The message was to welcome him when he moved his stuff in. :) Can't wait until HE can stay with it!

What if We Loved...

I'm learning so much about love as I go on this journey with Ryan. I've loved before - but it's different with him. (As it should be.)

But this week I learned something new and it has challenged me. (Maybe this is only new to me and the rest of you are mentally patting my head and saying "good girl...keep learning.")

When Ryan proposed to me, he offered such a beautiful collection of thoughts to me. He knelt before me, before God, before all my co-workers, and before the unseen cloud of witnesses listening on the airwaves and he told me all the reasons he loved me. He called me beautiful, courageous, brave, and a host of other encouraging things about who I am and how I love him.

And I loved that. Who isn't affirmed and blessed by hearing what she's done right? Who isn't blessed and encouraged?

But this week, Satan's been after me. Not in making me doubt my love for Ryan. Not in pushing me to wonder if this is right. I'm still 1000% certain of the depth of my love for him and that he is the one I not only desire to marry, but that God is calling me to marry. He is my redemption. Just like in the book of Ruth, God sent Boaz to redeem Ruth after she lost her husband, he sent Ryan to redeem me after Isaac walked away. And I am ready to stand before Ryan and say the same words Ruth said - "Wherever you go, I will go. Wherever you live, I will live. Your people will be my people and your God, my God. Where you die, I will die and there will I be buried. May God deal with me, be it ever so severely, if anything but death separates you and me."

I'm ready. And in fact, I'm so excited. Wish it were today.

But Satan has been after me in planting anxiety...fear...doubt...about who I am. Am I too much for him? Am I too much for anyone? Can I love him as fully as he deserves to be loved? Can I be the wife I ache to be?

And this week, Ryan sat with me, sacrificing his own time and need for rest, to hear my fears, to hear my hurts, and when I finished pouring out my heart to him, he cupped my face in his hands and told me how much he loved me.

But this time it wasn't because I'm beautiful and courageous and brave.

This time he declared out loud, and with as much confidence as he possessed in the proposal, that he loved me - all of me. Even the part of me that overthinks things. Even the part of me that worries needlessly. Even the part of me that is weak. Even the part of me that is riddled by past hurts.

And it made me wonder...what if we all loved like that?

I love being loved for the good things about me. I love it that Ryan sees me for who I am. I love that he sees in me the things I can't see in myself. I love that he's proud of me and eager to enjoy all the good things I have to offer him...the things I've worked hard to develop all these many years. I love that.

But perhaps the greatest declaration of love was whispered into my ear in the stillness of a living room, while strong hands wiped away tears that slid down my cheeks. Perhaps the love that scooped up all my weakness and loved it as wholly and completely as the strength is the greatest love.

What if we loved like that?

Randomness

It's about an hour past my bedtime (on a school night, no less) and I have so many deep, meaningful thoughts swirling around in my head...that I can't write about any of them. So hold the desire for deep thoughts for another day and check out this mess of randomness.

* I already posted about the Mercy Me concert I went to this past weekend, but I didn't have this one picture to share. Trinity Communications posted their photos, which were taken by David Eck, and here's the one of Ryan and me with Mercy Me and Adam Cappa:

* I am currently sporting 2 gold fingernails and 8 Colts blue nails. Lynne and I did a manicure experiment with some of the fingernail press polish (not press on NAILS...but polish strips you press on) - hence the 2 gold nails. I'm not sure which disturbs me more...the mismatched nails...or the fact that this sort of thing is in (enough) right now that no one even glances twice.

* Winter must be on its way, because Braeya has returned to her weird habit of burying herself completely under the covers of my bed while she sleeps. I come home from work every day to a partially unmade bed, courtesy of Miss Feline.

* Speaking of Braeya...Monday night when I went to bed, I ate a Reese's peanut butter pumpkin and drank a glass of milk. When I finally got up on Tuesday (sick day for this girl) - around 1 p.m...I found the wrapper for the candy on the night stand, but there was no sign of the glass. I looked behind the night stand, under the bed, and in every other location I could THINK of that might hold said glass. No luck. I mentioned it in passing to Ryan, and when I got home from my dress alteration appointment on Wednesday night, he was holding the glass in his hand. Know where he found it? Under the bed. Know how it got there? (Hint...offender has four legs and a tail.)

* One month from today: I'm getting married!!!!

* I now have a fireplace in my bedroom (soon to be our bedroom) and I can think of no lovelier way to fall asleep. So I shall. Beginning now. Happy Friday!!!

Ours

The longer I stayed single, the more I worried that if I ever found anyone...I wouldn't be able to adjust to life with another person in my space. I worried I'd be too set in my ways. That I wouldn't want to make compromises and allowances for another person.

But it's surprised me how easy it's been to let Ryan in...not only into my heart, but into my life. How easy it's been to change my course of thinking from mine to ours.

It's a nice word to say...ours. Our home. Our vehicles. Our money. Of course we still have just a whisper over a month left before all those things actually are officially ours, but in my heart, the switch has been made. I'm part of someone else's life now, and my decisions are driven by that our thinking.

There's a blog I like to read called Walk With Me By Faith. The blogger is about my age and has struggled for several years to have a baby. She and her husband are now pregnant with twins and I've loved reading her weekly updates on her pregnancy. As she answers the same questions week after week (about cravings and weight gain and such) she always answers this one question the same way. The question says what I miss... and her answer, every week is this: Not a thing. I've waited too long for this and I'm grateful for everything I'm experiencing.

She was pretty sick at the beginning of her pregnancy, so the whole thing hasn't been physically fun, but she's never lost the perspective that this is exactly what she prayed to receive and she's walked the moments with joy.

And that's exactly how I feel about life with Ryan. He makes our relationship so much fun. We do a lot of laughing, a lot of deep talking, a lot of dreaming - and in each of those "our" moments, I have so much fun. But even in the moments when one of us has to make a sacrifice for the other...I smile because I've waited so long for this and I'm grateful for everything I'm experiencing...even the sacrifices. Perhaps especially those. They remind me of what I have that I so longed to experience.

In the next month (and the month after that...and on and on and on until we're 112 or beyond) I will continue to learn how to become part of an our. And there might be times when I don't accomplish it too well. But I'm so grateful to be an our that I have this to say about what I miss about being single: Not a thing. I've waited too long for this and I'm grateful for everything I'm experiencing.