Coffee Chats

I admitted yesterday that my posts were likely to be fluffy this week, due to my reception brain...but this one might be a little less floofy than the rest. My heart is so heavy to talk about this, so we're just gonna talk about it right now.

Lately, I've been getting some emails from Bekah's Bits lurkers who have poured out their own stories of desire for marriage and for morning to come...and my heart is just breaking knowing that there are so many of you out there who hurt like that. The hurt I remember SO MUCH. So today I want to talk to you. And because I love coffee, I'm just going to call this a coffee chat. Feel free to pour a cup for yourself while you read. Chances are good that wherever I am while you're reading - I've got my own cup.

Let me say this to you. This picture, taken of my sister, Julie, and me was taken in May 2010. I had just turned 33 and I was just over a month into my desert season after Isaac walked away {initially} from our relationship.

I was smiling but my eyes were dead that night because my HEART was dead that night. I was brokenhearted, swimming in rejection, and wondering when God was going to heal Isaac's heart. I had to talk my way through every activity every day - from getting out of bed to getting ready to going to work to paying bills {you get the idea}. And honestly, if I'd known this night that Isaac wouldn't ever come back, I would not have had the will to go on.

Our ignorance is God's gift.

In that season, He carried me, He taught me to push on with grit and He showered me with His grace. And in that season, He prepared me to be Ryan's wife, though I had NO idea that would be His answer down the road.

Ryan and I are amazed that there are so many of you out there who have stories like mine. We're amazed at how many of you email and say our story gave you hope. We love that part of it.

So today, if you're hurting about love - for whatever reason, wrap your hands around your coffee cup and let me say this to you.

* God wastes nothing. Even if your season right now is dark and feels hopeless from all directions, HE IS STILL WORKING. You might not see or feel it now - but one day - at some Divinely appointed time down the road - you'll see how He was working. And such gratitude will pour over you on that day...it will be such a gift. In the meantime, this season you're living is not wasted. He'll find a way to use it.

* Sunrise can come so quickly. Ever notice {especially in the winter} how long it's dark? From 5 in the evening until 8 in the morning, it's dark out. But when the sun comes up - it goes from the horizon to the sky so quickly. And your morning might come on that quickly too. I had no idea last summer that I'd be married by Christmas. NO IDEA. But when God began to move in our love story, He moved at a very fast pace.

* Push. Like I said earlier, there were some days that the only reason I got out of bed was because I had to go to work. The only reason I did anything fun in that season was because my friends came over and dragged me out of the house. But though I felt like hiding under the covers, pushing myself to go to work or go out with the aforementioned friends was so good for me. So if you don't feel like doing it - try anyway. It'll be good for you.

* Pray. Hours and hours and hours of driving...pacing...walking outside...and curling up in the fat chair in the living room were coupled with deep groans poured out to the Lord. I was just honest in that season. Whether I was grieving, angry, confused, or something else, I told Him. No hiding it. He heard every ugly emotion and He proved faithful.

* Trust Him. There was a time in that desert when I said to God, "I'm not sure I trust You anymore. You didn't keep your promise." Not the nicest thing to say to God, but He helped me see that HE was trustworthy - even when people are not. So if you're in a place where you feel like you just can't....let me tell you He IS trustworthy. He is. Always.

If you'd like to come out of the lurking shadows to share your heart with me {and Ryan} - but you don't want to leave a comment for everyone to see - you're welcome to email at readingrebekah at yahoo.

Know that you are SO LOVED by our Abba!!