Our Wedding Party

Weird things happen when you plan a destination wedding. So many things about what you always thought you'd do in your wedding have to be examined - sometimes adjusted, sometimes eliminated, and sometimes added! This part was probably the hardest for me out of all the wedding planning: how to choose a wedding party?

I've been in five weddings as a bridesmaid, I have a bunch of great girlfriends, and I had no idea how to pick who should stand with me that day. I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (though I'm sure I did) - and we also wanted to be be careful to remember that for anyone to go to our wedding meant they'd have to pay to travel. How do you ask people to pay so much to come to your wedding?

In the end, after much discussion, this is what we decided to do: we had Ryan's best friend and his wife, and my best friend and her husband stand up with us. Two couples - alongside us for the weekend - supporting us as we began our life as a couple.

As you also might remember, we had the Build-a-Bears up there, representing my nephew Kirk and my former roommate, Angela, both of whom have died. This was our wedding party!

We got some great pictures (courtesy of Ryan's Mom, Nita) of our wedding party, so I'll put them here for you to see, along with the text as we had it in our (sixteen page - EEEK!!!) wedding program introducing our wedding party to our guests. Hope you enjoy!

Mark and Lynnette Johnson (Bekah's best friend and her husband)

Bekah and Lynnette met in 1988 at Amboy Friends Church. Lynnette attended church there and Bekah’s brother-in-law (and the officiant today!) became the pastor. When Bekah visited the church one Sunday morning, Lynnette served as her Sunday School buddy. Bekah’s sister, Lori, sensed a good friendship hiding below the surface and arranged a playdate (before such things even really existed.) And so it was that two girls who have never lived in the same town, never attended the same church, never attended the same school – became best friends – and remain so to this day.

In 2002, Bekah stood beside Lynnette as she became Mrs. Mark Johnson, and the sweet friendship continued, welcoming Mark right in as part of the family! Today, Bekah is excited and honored to have these life friends stand beside her and witness her union to Ryan.

Mark and Lynnette, thank you for loving me through years of heartache and confusion. Thank you for listening, crying with me, taking care of me when I struggled, and being there always. I’m so grateful you’re here today, standing right behind me as I walk forward into the future God has written for me.


Adam and Sara VanDam (Ryan's best friend and his wife)

Ryan and Sara went to high school together and attended the same church growing up.  Adam and Sara met in college and were married on June 3, 2000. They immediately moved to Michigan where Adam took a position as a youth pastor and Sara as a teacher.  In May 2002 they moved to Greentown where they both have continued as youth pastors and teachers.  Ryan and Adam connected immediately when they moved here as they both found they had much in common.  They have had many extreme experiences over the years ranging from many late nights working on each other’s houses (which normally ends in injury or near death – good times) to white water rafting the rapids in West Virginia to late night talks over coffee.   Ryan and Sara also became good friends because of their love of music.  They have served on the worship team at church for many years, sung countless specials together and worked together on numerous projects within the church.  Ryan has also joined them many times for youth group outings and mission trips that have been full of joy and laughter.

Ryan and Bekah are both so excited and grateful for their friendship and for joining with them today as they marry.  They have shown over and over the love of Christ through their friendship and support of Ryan and Bekah.    

Adam and Sara, thank you for loving me and standing here with me today.  You have both been true friends throughout all I have faced.  I love you both and can’t thank you enough for welcoming Bekah with open arms.       

*** I'm not sure anyone got a close up of the bears at the ceremony - except perhaps the professional photographer and I don't have his pictures yet. But I got this one from Lynnette's photos, taken during the reception time. So these were the bears and what I wrote about Angela and Kirk. ***

Posthumous Bridesmaid and Groomsman Angela Kent and Kirk Blackburn

For three years after she graduated from college, Bekah had a roommate named Angela Kent. They were about as opposite as two girls can be – Angela loved motorcycles, adventure, and singing loudly. Three years ago, she was pursuing her PhD in counseling when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She fought valiantly, insisting that as long as she had quality of life, she would fight. When doctors gave her five years, she came to Bekah and said that as part of her bucket list, she wanted to be able to be a bridesmaid in a wedding – because she never had that opportunity. Bekah promised her the chance to do that, but Angela died one year ago yesterday – December 1, 2011. Today Bekah keeps her promise to Angela and makes her a bridesmaid.

Angela, I’m so grateful for the three years we shared. You taught me so many skills (especially those communication skills!) that have prepared me to be the wife Ryan needs and deserves. You are loved and missed, but today your wish comes true. You are my bridesmaid.

When Bekah was 10 years old, her very first nephew, Kirk Blackburn, was stillborn. His death was most unexpected and devastating to a family so ready to love and welcome a baby. But God used Kirk’s death as the foundation of a deep love relationship between Bekah and her Abba. The confusion and hurt of Kirk’s death became the way she knew God cared about everything – even a hurting little girl who just wanted a nephew. Since he never has the opportunity to be a groomsman, she wanted to make him a groomsman today and honor his life which so impacted hers, though he never took a breath on this earth.

Kirk, I’m so thankful for your life and so wish you could be here with us today to celebrate in person. You’re never ever forgotten and it is my joy to honor your memory in this way today. Thank you for being instrumental in drawing me close to Jesus. I love you so much, Buddy.

*Kirk and Angela are represented by the Build-a-Bears at the front. They are carried by Bekah’s only niece, Cassie Blackburn.* And here are some other pictures of our wedding party fun on the big day! This was me looking wistfully into the distance. I'm not a good wistful looker, I don't think.

 Chillin - aka sweating my fool head off - before the wedding!!!

 Me with the guys. (The videographer asked if we were related and when we said no, he said, "Um well can you at least act like you like each other?" Apparently we were standing way too far apart. This was our solution.)

 We had used the & sign in our engagement photos and we wanted to use it again in the wedding pics. So we got a smaller version for each couple as part of our gift to them - and we used them in this picture. I love it.

 WAKE UP, RYAN!! TIME TO GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!

 The guys relaxing before the wedding....

 This is one of my favorite pictures of the whole wedding. Love it.

 It takes a village...to get the bride into a seated position in this dress!!

 EWWWW!! KISSING!!!!!!!

 Asleep again. Wow. This wedding really got to him!!

 And there you have it! Our wedding party! I think tomorrow we might just start a wedding. What do you think?