Date at Nate's

Thursday morning finally dawned. Couldn’t wait to be at the end of the day – with my handsome Isaac.

Approximately two billion hours later, it was 5:00 and I could pack myself into my car and zoom down the interstate (again) to meet him in the Olive Garden parking lot. We had a torrential downpour right about that time, and I actually made it to the destination first. I navigated my car into the same parking place I'd used the week before (OCD!!) and called him to let him know I'd arrived. He said he wasn't far away, so I hung up. Just moments later, I heard sirens and tried not to panic…

He called me back. Whew. He’d encountered an accident, and while he’d not been in it, he was slowed down by it. It was killing me to know he was just on the other side of the hill from me and yet couldn’t get there any faster. I turned off the car and watched the rain pelt the window while I tapped my foot somewhat impatiently. (Not at him, of course…just at the situation in general.)

When I saw his SUV speed down the access road toward me, my heart beat at a ridiculous pace. He pulled up next to me, unlocked his doors, and I bolted from my car into his. I slammed straight into him, caught up in his bear hug. He smelled so good and I loved feeling his arms holding me.

We learned at this point that we're not great at making decisions about where to eat. We thought about just trying good old Olive Garden again, but decided to head over to McAllister’s instead. Ahhhhh sweet tea. Please let the record show I ate nearly half my dinner that night, thankyouverymuch.

Just as we'd done the week before, we perused the bookstore nearby after we ate our dinner. When we tired of looking at books, we went back to the Olive Garden parking lot, evidently a place of great intimacy for us, and began to talk while rain continued to pour. I scurried over to my trunk and grabbed his Easter basket for him so he could open it without the audience of family. He was very surprised (he’d known a present was coming…just not what) – and happy to see pictures of me, lots of candy, and the smiley face eggs. I'd decided upon filling them with Bible verses I'd been specifically praying over his life - along with a little note elaborating on those prayers. He sat in amazement as he opened egg after egg. I didn’t know quite what he thought – it was hard to read his expression.

If I could have bottled up his reaction, though, I would have. It was priceless. Once I realized he liked it, I decided I’d never seen anyone so moved.

Words seemed inadequate after that, so we sat in silence, watching the rain, and I was lost in worry that he would think I was fat. (Such a girl!) Out of nowhere, I heard his soft voice, “I do love you.” I jerked my head and said, “WHAT???” He said, “I do love you.”

Tears filled my eyes and again, I crushed him in a hug. I squeezed him so tightly and repeated the words over and over and over to him .

He told me later he never meant to say it that soon – it just came out. But I knew God was all over orchestrating that. It was the 25th. The day I needed to have redeemed from the memories it had contained with my first boyfriend. The memory of our anniversary. It was indeed the perfect day for that declaration.

Finally we separated to our own cars and drove to Nate's house. We spent the rest of the evening watching basketball with Nate and his wife (March Madness, you know), and then Isaac and I stayed up talking until the wee hours of the morning.

I journaled, Oh how You redeemed this day for me!

Streams describes it pretty perfectly: “Psalm 107 is filled with stories of God’s lavish love. In every story of deliverance, it was humankind coming to the point of desperation that gave God His opportunity to act. Arriving at their wits end of desperation was the beginning of God’s power.” For a decade, the 25th has haunted me. And in the 11th year – which felt like the 11th hour – You redeemed.

He told me he loves me. He said those words. On this day. And I cried and he couldn’t even know why. He has no idea. No clue the pivotal day he chose to tell me.

God, did you see how he loved the Easter basket? I’ve never seen anybody so moved before. I loved the look in his eyes that went past words.

The next day was one of those beautifully, perfectly lazy, wonderful days. I was so glad I'd taken the day off work. We hung around Nate's house house all morning, watching movies and talking. Eventually we got ready and headed to Skyline Chili for lunch - and may I just say - I loved it that he loves Skyline? We came back, resumed a rigorous schedule of movie watching alternated with hours of talking, and decided that we were, in fact, in love. How crazy was that?

In an effort to be social, we had dinner with Nate and his wife, and during dinner, some of her family came over to watch the next March Madness game. Since the house was filling up with noise and people, we excused ourselves and went out to Dairy Queen for ice cream. That was a fun date that I really appreciated. I loved it that he wanted to steal me away for more alone time even after we’d spent the entire day together.

We rejoined the family just before the big game started, and they wanted to play Rock Band. Isaac even sang to me – though he’d told me he wasn’t a singer. I blushed when he said before one of the songs, “I’m sending this out to the pretty lady on the couch.” I loved being the pretty lady! After the game, everyone else hung out together and we hid upstairs for many more hours of talking and dreaming about the future.

I could barely keep up with the journaling, but I wrote, What a beautiful day today was. The hours of talking, dreaming, encouraging, working through real life drama…how much I loved it.

I dreaded Saturday. I figured we'd have a good chunk of the day to spend together, but I also knew that night...I'd be going home. We stayed close to Nate's that day, aware that our time together was very short. One of the things I loved most was that we had real life that day. It wasn't about dating. It was about just being together even in mundane moments. I helped him fold laundry and we talked together about a scripture passage he was studying.

Romans 5: 3-5: “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us.” I would come back to that passage over and over in the weeks to come. I just didn't know it yet.

Evening came and we had to pack and leave. We were not even a mile down the road, and I was following his SUV, when he called and said it didn’t feel right to not have me in the passenger seat beside him. I tried to choke back the tears. I never again wanted to be out of that passenger seat! We drove to a CVS parking lot, left my car, and went to Taco Bell for dinner. And then we began the goodbye. A goodbye like the CVS parking lot has never seen. EVER.

Oh people. You have not seen such tears since...well...you just haven't seen such tears. I did not mean to...I did not want to...but I also could not help it. I could not imagine going home without him. I didn't want to leave. I wasn't sure when I'd be seeing him next, and I just...I loved him so. He was so incredibly patient and gentle with me - and when I finally composed myself enough to drive, we pulled out onto the road. I was in the right turn lane, and he was in the left one...and I dared to glance over, even though I knew it would mean a fresh round of tears.

He was signing I love you.

When I arrived home that evening, I was shocked to enter my house and for the first time ever, in my entire life, not feel at home. It wasn’t home because Isaac wasn’t there. Never mind he’d never been to my house. He just should have been there in that moment, and he wasn’t. And I didn’t know what to do.

My computer was broken (stupid cord!), so I couldn't even get online to occupy my time. Not knowing what else to do, I pulled out the journal and wrote, Saying goodbye was so hard. I fell apart multiple times. It helps to know he does love me and wants me. But my house is so lonely. I’ve never felt lonely here until I walked in tonight.

Jesus, my heart overflows with joy…and yet I’m so lonely. My love is not here with me and it’s just so quiet. Help me to cling to You while I’m here. My computer is down…evidently Ronda, Mom, and Isaac are all busy, and I’m just here with my thoughts. Oh Jesus, help me.

I loved the intimacy of the day. It’s time. Time to begin the new life You have for me. And I feel he is the one You have chosen to be an instrument to show redemption.